Split from Bikini Wax: If Porn Were Law

[bornagainpenguin]

Do that to a woman, and do it well, and she'll love you for it and put much more effort into pleasing you. A trick I learned some time ago, since it seems most guys nowadays would rather poke and run

This is actually still a problem these days? :O_O:

I was under the impression, going by the usual uninspired porn, that cunnilingus was considered just another part of the act... sort of warming up the engines before starting the pistons...

Maybe I'm just not up on things? [shrugs]

I've always been down for it myself, so I don't think too much about it, although to be honest I much much prefer the clean\shaven\waxed\ect ones to the hairy ones. Heh...I'm into pussy worship I guess you could say...

--bornagainpenguin

[Midknight]

To be fair, if you took porn as law, every women would be a jiz guzzler and an ass pirate. IRL.. maybe 2 I've been out of like 16 have done it, and it wasn't porn style, it was more "well it's your birthday suprise!"

Blowjobs (well not to finish, but just the first half) have seen to become very common though, in High school I dated my ass off, and very rarely got them, the bitches wanted to give it up under a month, but didn't want to slob the knob b/c they weren't whores... yahhhhhh. Never understood that one.

[Giovanni]

If you took mainstream Porn as Law the following would be true:

All men would have 8in + Dicks
All women would be thin
Everyone would fuck like a pornstar

[Midknight]

ROFL!

Nice split choosing Gio.

I'd like to add

-Anal doesn't need lube, that guy with the 13 incher can just run fullspeed at the 100lb girl's bum and go in with zero problems, medical conditions, or splitting the bitch in half. Oh, and she'll like it!

-All women enjoy being choked to near death by forceful blowjobs.

-All women keep dildos and strap-on's in their purse.

[Lord Necros]

girls would have the biggest gazogas possible and would want to fuck 24/7

guys would always have a big load rwady to go

[Giovanni]

ROFL!

Nice split choosing Gio.

I'd like to add

-Anal doesn't need lube, that guy with the 13 incher can just run fullspeed at the 100lb girl's bum and go in with zero problems, medical conditions, or splitting the bitch in half. Oh, and she'll like it!

-All women enjoy being choked to near death by forceful blowjobs.

-All women keep dildos and strap-on's in their purse.

Thank you Middy :)

There are a few other things that need to be included:

All women would be bisexual

If you walked in on two people having sex you would be expected to join in.

[Midknight]

-No man will ever mind some other guy's nuts bouncing off his leg/forehead in a DP scene/mmf scene, even when they're both strickly straight, they'll happily do a 69 while the other guy's banging her.

-Every guy is built like a linebacker, and can go for hours on end.

[Aura]

-Lots of dirty talk.

-Every girl would enjoy giving BJ's.

[Demon God of Chaos]

-no girl would hate someone who looks like Frankensteins monster...

[LINKed up]

Personally, I can't believe that you guys are listing all of these things... wait, yes I can. Nevermind.

[Demon God of Chaos]

Personally, I can't believe that you guys are listing all of these things... wait, yes I can. Nevermind.


what's wrong with listing those things? Nothing... I might add one:

-Having tentacles is encouraged by busty horny women

[Midknight]

-your normal average women enjoys slobbing a knob after it's been in her rear. (this disgusts me to the point I'll gag if I ever see it when we're watching a movie)

-Normal average girl enjoys giving head with a condom on (seriously... ever accidentally brushed your partner's mouth after touching a rubber with spermacide? fucking instant gagging)

[Giovanni]

If porn were reality, all school girls would fuck their teachers. Not that it doesn't happen every once and a while IRL, but if porn were true... EVERY one of them would.

[Demon God of Chaos]

-Nurses would seduce their patients
-Maids would do everything to serve their master

[bornagainpenguin]

To be fair, if you took porn as law, every women would be a jiz guzzler and an ass pirate. IRL.. maybe 2 I've been out of like 16 have done it, and it wasn't porn style, it was more "well it's your birthday suprise!"

Blowjobs (well not to finish, but just the first half) have seen to become very common though, in High school I dated my ass off, and very rarely got them, the bitches wanted to give it up under a month, but didn't want to slob the knob b/c they weren't whores... yahhhhhh. Never understood that one.

Nutz! I didn't mean for this to become a rehash of the Top XXX cliches (http://www.modemac.com/cliches.html) list!

I just meant that if you went by the literature and what you generally see in porn licking the slit seems to have become just another stop on the way.. I'd thought that meant that cunnilingus had become passe by this point, given that its mostly guys who watch porn and we're talking about guys not wanting to go downtown...

Personally I like going downtown; I was just under the (mis)impression that most guys were cool with it too these days, if for no other reason than to 'start the motor' if you'll pardon my crude way of saying it...

--bornagainpenguin

[LINKed up]

That list is funny!

[Midknight]

Great list!

[Demon God of Chaos]

pretty good list.....