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Nuhuh
02-05-2009, 03:52 PM
The Y Chromosome Theory: Why Women Are Better Than Men (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/254228/the_y_chromosome_theory_why_women_are.html)

As it turns out, the "Y" chromosome is, in fact, a defective "X" chromosome with one of the legs missing. At first this discovery baffled scientists, but further research has determined that this mysterious missing leg physically manifests itself on the outer body of a male, resulting in what is commonly known as a penis.

t has also been determined that human intellect is stored in this part of the chromosome, resulting in the male of the species commonly using his penis (the physical manifestation of the missing part of the chromosome) to make many decisions.

Unfortunately, since the penis, although technically part of the male DNA, is on the outside of the body, it deteriorates at the same rate and sometimes faster than the body of the male. This discovery led to scientists quickly finding a way to keep the penis (and thus, the male brain) functioning. The result is drugs for what is being called "erectile dysfunction." Another sign of the deterioration of the external part of the chromosome is what is widely referred to as a "mid-life crisis," during which a male will frequently search out younger women (even if he already has a perfectly lovely woman) and faster, phallic-shaped cars.

Why Women are Better Than Men 81-100 (http://www.funnyandjokes.com/why-women-are-better-than-men-81-100.html)

An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked

Women can use the old “that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn” line

Women know how fake it

Women look better naked

We know that rhythm doesn’t only pertain to dancing

When women are short, we’re petite, when men are short, they’re just short

Women do less time for violent crime

Women don’t have to worry about not being able to get it up

An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night

Women’s conversations generally consist of more than just “uh huh, yep ok then bye”

Women don’t need an excuse to be in a bad mood

Women never have to see combat

The remote control is not an extension of ourselves

Women are sexier

And the 100th reason its better to be a woman - this one is
definitely worthy of reiteration: We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!


:( It's funny cuz it's true.

And finally, this totally disgusts me. I can't believe this guy let it out:

This exposé may amount to the most heinous and massive betrayal in the history of humanity; I am betraying the entire male gender. (http://fathersforlife.org/humour/male_conspiracy.htm)

As part of a world-wide conspiracy, one whose sole aim is the absolute and never-ending subordination of the entire female gender, every male on the planet, every one, has promised to serve the cause faithfully and to promote its masculine interests.

Men were an evolutionary afterthought. The evidence for this is the diminutive and lowly Y-chromosome. Because they were inferior, in every existentially significant way, men were systematically relegated to marginal functions and status, away from the mainstreams of life.

Here the story really begins! The international male conspiracy was born!

The unending oppression of women was guaranteed when men realized that one key would lock women into their roles for good. Again, using few well placed pawns, the conspiracy convinced women all over the world that motherhood was their special privilege. They told women how to socialize their children to male advantage and female disadvantage. By now, the international male conspiracy had become a complete success: it had the mothers in its spell.

This effing bastard is giving away our secrets.

__

Narf
02-05-2009, 03:56 PM
I CALL TROLL!

Nuhuh
02-05-2009, 04:01 PM
I CALL TROLL!

It's serious business man.

We have legless X chromosome that we've been pretending is a Y chromosome.

Doesn't that frighten you?

Sophie
02-05-2009, 04:05 PM
N, you're my hero.

Vengashii
02-05-2009, 04:12 PM
Shut up, woman.

Sophie
02-05-2009, 04:14 PM
No need to be jealous.

Heather_Sinclair
02-05-2009, 04:15 PM
Look Blaise, here I am backing up my statement. Won't it get quite annoying if I do this at every instance of insult? I'll have your back when they call you nigger, or Jew, or... I forget what the other thing was.

This is just as stupid as the other thread. Women are no better than men... well they're better looking, for the most part (I know some seriously fugly women), but that's subjective.

http://samuelatgilgal.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/nancy-pelosi.jpg

^
Fugly.

Banner
02-05-2009, 04:25 PM
Multiple Orgasms.
'Nuff said.

Heather_Sinclair
02-05-2009, 04:54 PM
Multiple Orgasms.
'Nuff said.


Oh, good point. Kinda hard to beat that one. No pun intended.

Perspicacity
02-05-2009, 05:05 PM
Oh, good point. Kinda hard to beat that one. No pun intended.

Guys can too, dear (just not every guy).

But I concede the point; the optimal number of "his" to "hers" is what, 1 to 6? 1 to 8?

Blaise
02-05-2009, 05:39 PM
Get off my dick, Sinclair.

It is stupid in the extreme to willingly be a member of this site, saying nothing about (yet knowing all of) the less than acceptable bullshit that flows through it, and get up in arms about something that's clearly not serious. My point wasn't to get you to rally over everything that's not respectable or acceptable - it was to get you to shut the fuck up, because you just sound silly complaining about a RL troll. It's like when Isaac Hayes had no problem voicing a character that talked to 3rd graders about "making sweet love", "love gravy", and all other manner of inappropriate shit -only to leave the show with his undies in a bunch once they took a pot-shot at Scientology.

But thanks: your token presence and its sincerity has been duly noted.

Narf
02-05-2009, 05:47 PM
N, you're my hero.

No need to be jealous.

Should I act like Heather and act all offended that a woman agreed that woman > men? :?

Sophie
02-05-2009, 05:48 PM
That wouldn't become you, Jolly.

Portus
02-05-2009, 06:09 PM
Get off my dick, Sinclair.

It is stupid in the extreme to willingly be a member of this site, saying nothing about (yet knowing all of) the less than acceptable bullshit that flows through it, and get up in arms about something that's clearly not serious. My point wasn't to get you to rally over everything that's not respectable or acceptable - it was to get you to shut the fuck up, because you just sound silly complaining about a RL troll. It's like when Isaac Hayes had no problem voicing a character that talked to 3rd graders about "making sweet love", "love gravy", and all other manner of inappropriate shit -only to leave the show with his undies in a bunch once they took a pot-shot at Scientology.

But thanks: your token presence and its sincerity has been duly noted.

God, did those South Park guys crucify Hayes or what? I hate Comedy Central 'cause with South Park, The Daily Show and Colbert back-to-back-to-back, I risk losing an hour and a half every time I turn to that channel.

Anyway, I haven't seen the video (youtube is blocked here at work), but if he says with a straight face the things quoted here, I'm sooo fucking jealous. I really, really wish I could say outrageous shit without cracking a smile. Like Stephen Colbert, come to think of it...

Anyway, I personally wouldn't want to be a woman. Think about it, fellas! We, as men, get most of the good and very little of the bad. Hear me out!!

What do men get? Sex with women.
What do women get? Sex with men.
(Granted, this only applies to the hetero crowd.)
WINNER: men

Wear a tie and/or suit to the office? Men.
Wear whatever they want to the office? Women.
WINNER: women

Famous fat guys? Women still want them.
Famous fat chicks? Can name them all on one hand.
(Not saying it's fair, but there you have it.)
WINNER: men

Get choice and nuanced lead acting roles, even when you're old? Men.
Lucky to get a guest spot on a sit-com when you crack 40? Women.
WINNER: men

Considered "Good at your job" when assertive and aggressive? Men.
Called a cunt behind your back when acting the same way? Women.
WINNER: men

No pain of childbirth? Men.
Know what it's like to have a life inside you? Women.
WINNER: women
(Yes, I do envy my wife on that, very much.)

Stop drinking soda and drop 20 lbs? Men.
Change your whole fucking life and maybe lose 5 lbs? Women.
WINNER: men

I could go on and on, fellas. Men have it made; I know, 'cause I'm one of them. Are we better? Hell no, not that I've seen. I'm way better at math than my wife, but she's a better driver, and at least as good at most sports. She's got a sharper wit than I'll ever have, and that's a big reason I like her so much. Would I switch places with her? God, no. Then I'd be stuck with me.

Nukular Winter
02-05-2009, 06:13 PM
No pain of childbirth? Men.
Know what it's like to have a life inside you? Women.
WINNER: women
(Yes, I do envy my wife on that, very much.)

Check your math, or turn in your man card. (Kids are great, childbirth is fucking NASTY).

Portus
02-05-2009, 06:15 PM
Check your math, or turn in your man card. (Kids are great, childbirth is fucking NASTY).

Uhh, I think that's what I was saying. Christ, I don't want to give birth...

I was there, and it didn't look to be fun.

Evan Tide
02-05-2009, 06:24 PM
If in the US and in court, women will almost always win against men. Same gender fights? That's a whole 'nother game.

Blaise
02-05-2009, 06:30 PM
@Portus: I knew I got the better end of the deal when I first learned about the menstrual cycle.

Heather_Sinclair
02-05-2009, 06:42 PM
Get off my dick, Sinclair.

But thanks: your token presence and its sincerity has been duly noted.


So now I'm 'on your dick'? because I back up what I was saying? You said (paraphrasing) that because I didn't complain before that my opinion didn't count, and now that I do, I'm 'on your dick'. Which is it?

I was actually sincere. Maybe I should have put a :banana: in there so you wouldn't have gotten your balls in a twist. :banana:

Was that lighthearted enough to show that I'm not trying to get on your dick.

Jolly Rancher: Should I act like Heather and act all offended that a woman agreed that woman > men? :?

Act whatever way makes you feel all manly. I already voiced my opinion when I said this thread was equally as stupid as the men>women thread.

h2o
02-05-2009, 08:29 PM
Just had to point out about the whole women are hotter thing... its true up until a certain age. Men can still be handsome, charming and good looking in their 60's... women can't. So a good looking guy is likely to stay good looking as long as he takes care of his body. Women on the other hand...

Edited to add: It always cracks me up to read this after I've posted something:

h2o
Squib
Retard

:D:D

Immolo
02-05-2009, 08:48 PM
Women are better than men because I would rather have sex with a woman than with a man.

Nuhuh
02-05-2009, 09:06 PM
Women are better than men because I would rather have sex with a woman than with a man.

haha.

And the win goes to Immolo.

ditto, brother.

Mr. Ripley
02-05-2009, 09:13 PM
Women are better than men because I would rather have sex with a woman than with a man.
This is true. I would only add that the woman in question could not have been at any point in time after birth a man. It is rather sad that such a thing is even possible.

@Sophie What is with the sheep? Are you trying to be Amerision's official fangirl?

Sophie
02-05-2009, 09:28 PM
lol, no. I just like sheep. It's not my fault that N has put this nice little story into his sig, though I do admit I find it highly amusing.

PS: Your comment is sexist. If I was a guy you'd never accuse me of being Amer's fangirl.

Nuhuh
02-05-2009, 10:13 PM
lol, no. I just like sheep. It's not my fault that N has put this nice little story into his sig, though I do admit I find it highly amusing.

Glad you like the story, it was fun.

PS: Your comment is sexist. If I was a guy you'd never accuse me of being Amer's fangirl.

Not really, no, it wasn't.

fanboys are made fun of as much as fangirls on dlp.

Edit. In fact, we have more fanboys than fangirls. Amer in particular has epic numbers of fanboys.

kmfrank
02-05-2009, 10:18 PM
Women are better than men because I would rather have sex with a woman than with a man.

I agree, Immolo, and note that Boobies are fun.

Xiph0
02-06-2009, 12:23 AM
Guys can too, dear (just not every guy).


I studied this concept thoroughly in middle school and can confirm it.

Knox
02-06-2009, 12:25 AM
I back Xiph0's thesis. Thorough testing and experimentation have gone into this study.

Darius
02-06-2009, 12:38 AM
Men can beat the shit out of women therefore are more alpha

/thread

Hypothesis
02-06-2009, 12:47 AM
Men can beat the shit out of women therefore are more alpha

/thread

Depends on the woman. There are quite a few ball bashers and dick shrivelers out there and they can be fucking scary. Anyway back on topic:

We can go bald, have a beer belly or both and still be considered attractive. Women? Eh....no.

Knox
02-06-2009, 12:59 AM
Depends on the woman. There are quite a few ball bashers and dick shrivelers out there and they can be fucking scary. Anyway back on topic:

We can go bald, have a beer belly or both and still be considered attractive. Women? Eh....no.

Not really, Race is a very key factor in that look, A black guy could pull it off way better than a white dude. Black dude = Normal-ish. White guy = Chemo therapy recipient >_>

Men > Women due the fact that we don't bleed out every month. ;)

http://i337.photobucket.com/albums/n365/Dark-knoxy/1233291049476.jpg

Darius
02-06-2009, 01:47 AM
Depends on the woman. There are quite a few ball bashers and dick shrivelers out there and they can be fucking scary. Anyway back on topic:

We can go bald, have a beer belly or both and still be considered attractive. Women? Eh....no.

That's only because men dont' hit them back. We pity them.

Xiph0
02-06-2009, 03:05 AM
That's only because men dont' hit them back.

Speak for yourself.

Antivash
02-06-2009, 04:00 AM
Men can beat the shit out of women therefore are more alpha

/thread

...

http://devcentral.f5.com/weblogs/images/devcentral_f5_com/weblogs/macvittie/WindowsLiveWriter/CongratulationsYouareamoron_7EBF/InternetToughGuy_2.jpg

Srsly.

Hugplx
02-06-2009, 05:46 AM
I'm just waiting for a woman to be in a position of real power in the world so they can fuck up in a massive way and end this 'argument' for good.

Do I think either sex is better? No.

Do I love arguing that men are anyway? Yes.

Blaise
02-06-2009, 08:50 AM
Question:
So now I'm 'on your dick'? because I back up what I was saying? You said (paraphrasing) that because I didn't complain before that my opinion didn't count, and now that I do, I'm 'on your dick'. Which is it?
Answer:Look Blaise, here I am backing up my statement. Won't it get quite annoying if I do this at every instance of insult? I'll have your back when they call you nigger, or Jew, or... I forget what the other thing was. You could have simply said that this thread was stupid (which would have been sincere), but you tried to be funny and call my attention to your valiant declaration. So yes, you're (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI5wiJFF4sU) on (http://getoffmydick.ytmnd.com/) my (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuYrhZxHGPs) dick (http://Antirapecondoms.ytmnd.com/).

My explanation of what I expected you to do after you quoted me the first time in the other thread,in Plain English.:My point wasn't to get you to rally over everything that's not respectable or acceptable - it was to get you to shut the fuck up, because you just sound silly complaining about a RL troll.
~~

I was actually sincere. Maybe I should have put a :banana: in there so you wouldn't have gotten your balls in a twist. :banana: Maybe you should have - ...shut the fuck up, because you just sound silly

On topic: The Dick Master has some competition. (http://womenrbetterthanmen.wordpress.com/about/)

The site that’s sole purpose is to contradict www.menarebetterthanwomen.com It just doesn't get any better than this.

Darius
02-06-2009, 09:23 AM
...

http://devcentral.f5.com/weblogs/images/devcentral_f5_com/weblogs/macvittie/WindowsLiveWriter/CongratulationsYouareamoron_7EBF/InternetToughGuy_2.jpg

Srsly.

I'm sure even you Vash, who probably hasn't moved unnecessarily much less exercirsed in 5 years could probably hold your own against the average woman. They probably bench around 45 pounds for a max btw.

Antivash
02-06-2009, 03:15 PM
I'm sure even you Vash, who probably hasn't moved unnecessarily much less exercirsed in 5 years could probably hold your own against the average woman. They probably bench around 45 pounds for a max btw.

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/d/d3/Internettoughkid.jpg

Portus
02-06-2009, 04:30 PM
I'm sure even you Vash, who probably hasn't moved unnecessarily much less exercirsed in 5 years could probably hold your own against the average woman. They probably bench around 45 pounds for a max btw.

http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/d/d3/Internettoughkid.jpg

Is this the beginning of what JBern calls an "E-Penis war"? Please god, let it be...

Nukular Winter
02-06-2009, 04:43 PM
This is going to be legen... (wait for it)... dary.

Narf
02-06-2009, 04:48 PM
The Awesome Barney sneers at your attempt to be as awesome as he is.

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/2206/img0542ji8.jpg

Where the fuck is your suit, poser?!

Portus
02-06-2009, 05:13 PM
The Awesome Barney sneers at your attempt to be as awesome as he is.

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/2206/img0542ji8.jpg

Where the fuck is your suit, poser?!

I hope this isn't some gay joke that I just haven't heard yet. Or worse, the intro to a gay porno with a name like "Manhole".

Nukular Winter
02-06-2009, 05:25 PM
All I know is that those are some dope motherfuckers, right there.

Narf
02-06-2009, 06:48 PM
I hear no mention of a suit. In either of your stories. :|

Nukular Winter
02-06-2009, 07:02 PM
If I'd been wearing a suit in TJ we might not have made it out alive. :)

Narf
02-06-2009, 07:13 PM
That is true.

BUT IN NYC?!

Blaise
02-06-2009, 08:35 PM
No suit = no rep.

Word.

Narf
02-06-2009, 09:03 PM
Holy shit you changed your ava. Confused the fuck out of me without the nigger posing.

Also, you spelled Novacaine wrong. ;)

Nukular Winter
02-06-2009, 11:04 PM
Alright, I'll concede that I'm marginally less awesome than Barney Stinson.

The post on the last page should be amended to read:

"This is going to be epic."

(now get with the e-Peen war)

Cruentus
02-07-2009, 11:37 AM
Why must this subject continue to be dragged out into the street again and again and again?

Guy's are better at some things and Girls are better at other things that's just the way it is.

Anarual
02-07-2009, 12:32 PM
No pain of childbirth? Men.
Know what it's like to have a life inside you? Women.
WINNER: women
(Yes, I do envy my wife on that, very much.)
me.

Get a tapeworm and you'll have life inside you.

Grubdubdub
02-07-2009, 12:34 PM
Girls are better at other things that's just the way it is.

Besides sex, I can't think of anything.

Manatheron
02-07-2009, 01:20 PM
..... I can has Lolz now?


Serious, this thread is bound for the wall of shame. Funny shit, don't get me wrong, but still bound for the wall of shame.

Nukular Winter
02-07-2009, 01:23 PM
Get a tapeworm and you'll have life inside you.

You could also try the Richard Gere/Gerbil trick.

(In before Hall of Shame)

Giovanni
02-07-2009, 01:44 PM
I think I missed something here . . . But LOL.

In before the Hall of Shame.

World
02-07-2009, 03:03 PM
In during wtf is wrong with you people, I mean, seriously.

Dark Syaoran
02-07-2009, 10:27 PM
This is a piece of shit.