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View Full Version : Witch Daughter by Harry50 - M - HP/HG


Giovanni
05-25-2010, 12:13 PM
Title: Witch Daughter
Author: Harry50
Rating: M/WTF
Genre: Romance/Family
DLP Category: The Restricted Section
Pairing: Harry/Hermione
Status: WIP
Summary: During their stay in the tent, Harry discovers a secret Herminone had kept. How will it affect them? Non Epilogue compliant. Ch.1 updated

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5967610/6/Witch_Daughter

Rating: 4/5

Review:

It is not often that I recommend fics to the library, but I was compelled to recommend this one because it takes some old cliches from the fandom and presents them in a new light. It takes a little bit of patience, and the author's writing could use some improvement (particularly reviews from DLP), but if you just stick with it through the 6th Chapter it picks up and gets interesting. I think that you will find Harry50's interpretation of Harry and Hermione's relationship compelling and well thought out. Harry50 provides an interpretation of Harry's psyche heretofore unused in fanfiction. While there are certainly some aspects of it that could be better (the dialog is, occasionally, stilted, and the author could do a better job conveying emotion at times), these do not detract significantly from an otherwise excellent reading experience.

So, without further adieu, I recommend this fanfic and beg of you to sample it.

Seratin
05-25-2010, 12:15 PM
This is... pretty awesome. 4/5. The characterisation is just damned good and the plot is enthralling, but the pacing is a little off. Hope he updates soon.

Silens Cursor
05-25-2010, 12:22 PM
Normally, I would not review a fic of this genre - it steps outside of the typical conventions that I usually subscribe to in fanfic. But I've always been willing to try new things, and thus I find myself in awe of this fic. It is literally awe-inspiring - there is no other term that can be used to describe this.

My biggest complement falls upon Harry's character - his reactions correspond so well to those in canon, and given his situation, I cannot be surprised with his reaction to the surprising situation.

However, I must nitpick and state that Ron seemed slightly OOC, as did Ginny. Both seem a little too accepting of everything that had occurred, and both moved on just a little too fast. As it is, the conflict is a little sparse, but it is still good for a nice light read.

But frankly, words are unable to describe the biggest repercussion of this fic: my faith has been restored in Harry/Hermione, for this fic has fulfilled of my expectations of the ship. 4.5/5

Oz
05-25-2010, 12:26 PM
Huh, this is surprising me at every turn. o_O

Harry and Hermione's characterisation are amazing. 4/5

Teresoul
05-25-2010, 12:28 PM
Great fic! The author has an amazing grasp of cause and effect, and the characterization of Harry (among the other characters) is unmatched.

If you don't read it, you're missing out big time. 5/5

Zennith
05-25-2010, 12:32 PM
I dunno guys, while it is well written, the fact that Hermione essentially raped Harry in their third year is a bit... and the fact that no one noticed? I suppose it does have redeeming factors, it is well thought out, I just don't really love that first part... ya know, the catalyst for the whole thing. I know that Giovanni mentioned that, and while I did read the whole thing and definitely see that it gets better, I still can't just dismiss the first five chapters.

2.5/5, maybe rounded up to 3/5

Audeamus
05-25-2010, 12:33 PM
I was a bit sceptical before reading this story as the start was a bit bumpy and the first character interactions unrealistic.

However, due to the reviews given here I kept pushing on, and true to their words it really does pick up! The author really has learned from his mistakes and the characterisation keeps getting better each chapter, althought, as mentioned by Silens Ron and Ginny did feel a bit OOC. One of my true favourite points of this fic is the humour, the author really knows how to insert it at the right places.

4/5

goldenwolfeye
05-25-2010, 12:52 PM
Hermione and Harry had decent characterization. However the dialogue was way to stiff; nobody talks that way in real life. The daughter's overpowered genius bothered me as well. She is the very definition of a Mary Sue.

2.5/5

Dethklok
05-25-2010, 01:01 PM
I have to agree with Zennith. Herms raped Harry, and he's kind of "Okay, moving on...". Just that part turns me off this fic.

Shinysavage
05-25-2010, 01:16 PM
Hermione and Harry had decent characterization. However the dialogue was way to stiff; nobody talks that way in real life. The daughter's overpowered genius bothered me as well. She is the very definition of a Mary Sue.

2.5/5

Quoted for fucking truth! She's four years old! Other than that...eh. The dialogue was stilted, and yes, everyone seemed too accepting. That and the fact that Hermione raped Harry, which everyone seems to be perfectly ok with...no. 2/5

oephyx
05-25-2010, 01:19 PM
Y'all don't know how to appreciate the good things in life.

I normally don't like H/Hr too much, but I found this to be a fresh concept for that pairing. It starts out a shakily, but the author obviously gains confidence along the way, and it's worth slugging through the early chapters. At that point, he really transcends Harry and Hermione's characterisation, and gives them surprising but realistic reactions to complex moral conundrums. He also manages to mix in some lighter humour to make it an intriguingly compelling read.

Looking forward to more. 4/5

Memory King
05-25-2010, 03:00 PM
Most of the readers on FFN would be reacting differently if Harry had been the one to fuck Hermione in the Hospital Wing.

Not my cup of tea, but what little I read was certainly amusing.

DarthBill
05-25-2010, 03:08 PM
I didn't really care for it. I suppose it isn't bad, just not my type of story. Also, you linked chapter 6.

3/5

Necrule Paen
05-25-2010, 05:10 PM
Can anyone tell me how many chapters it takes before this fic becomes worth reading? I just finished chapter four and I am seriously questioning Gio taste in fanfiction.

Iztiak
05-25-2010, 05:22 PM
"She is too nosy. As soon as she looked at me she noticed I had your eyes and she tried to find out who my real parents were. I had to make her forget my eyes and think they are brown, but I didn't like doing that."

"Yet you impressed her with your abilities" noted Harry.

"That was nothing, really. I could do this long ago. I can now change almost anything, see?" she said, as her hair turned blue – the same shade as Teddy's favorite color.

Harry was dumbstruck, as Lillian changed her hair color to purple, orange, green and pink in rapid succession, before letting it settle back to its natural brown.

"I can also change shape," she said, making her nose and ears grow bigger, until she looked somewhat like a house-elf. "I can even look like an animal," she added, changing into a large ginger cat, much like Crookshanks.

Hermione seemed to be just as shocked. "When did you learn to do all this?" she asked.

"I've read some of your old books, but I mostly just think of what I want to happen and it does. I can't explain how I do it."

Seriously? The reading at 4 isn't that unusual, but this? She doesn't sound like 4 at all.

The headmistress nodded noncommitantly and turned her gaze towards the young girl. She seemed to be surprised. "Don't you have green eyes?" she asked.

"I usually have, but Daddy wanted me to change their color," explained Lillian.

"Can you change other aspects of your appearance?"

"Sure! I can change my hair, my face, my body – everything really."

"Can you show me?"

Lillian changed her appearance to look like a house-elf with green hair and pink skin. Enjoying the appreciative looks on her audience, she changed once again to look like a younger copy of Ginny Weasley, including the red hair and the freckles.

Minerva was dumbstruck for a moment. "Can you do other things as well?"

"I can change things and I can move things without touching them."

"Can you bring here the book with the red cover from that shelf behind my back?"

"You mean that old copy of 'Hogwarts – A History'?"

"Yes. How did you know what book it is?"

"I've already read Mom's copy of that book, but the red book seems to be much older." The book was already floating down to the table.

Professor McGonagall looked utterly bewildered and was no longer trying to hide her feelings. She looked at the innocent young girl admiringly, before remembering the original cause of their meeting.

"Did you really apparate from here to your home and back?"

"Yes. Is that wrong?" asked the girl worriedly.

"It's not wrong. It is just… very unusual. You see, nobody is supposed to be able to apparate from or to Hogwarts, yet you seem to have done it quite easily. How did you do it?"

"I just thought about where I wanted to be and I was there. I've already done it several times."

Hermione was very surprised hearing this. "When did you learn to apparate?"

"Some time ago… I was sitting in my room and I wanted something from the kitchen, and then I was in the kitchen. It just happened."
My hopes that the story would improve died a bit more with each chapter.

Jane only smiled widely. Minerva could see in that smile how much she loved both girls.

They all sat in the kitchen. Dave joined them soon, bringing baby Helen along.

"Do you know if she is magical?" asked Minerva.

"Not yet," answered Jane. "Neither Hermione nor Lillian started showing until they had three months."

"I think she is magical," said Lillian.

"How can you know?" asked Minerva.

"Her aura is more like Mom's..."

"Her aura? Can you see her aura?" asked Minerva.

"Sure! Can't you?"

The professor looked shocked. "I'm too old for this kind of surprises" she complained.

"I'm sorry if I said something inappropriate" said Lillian.

Aura Reading. Fucking A+ writing.

The above quote was followed by several pages of her describing everyone's "aura".

"Yes, WE own" agreed Hermione with a smile, "much more than that. The Black inheritance alone makes us one of the hundred richest families in England."

"That surely sounds nice," commented Dave.

"And that is only the Black inheritance. We spent the whole morning on it alone. We then took a lunch break and proceeded to read the Potter will."

Hermione stopped for awhile.

"If you think the Blacks were rich, then you can't really appreciate the Potter wealth. We have only scratched the surface until now and we already need to recover."

"So..." prodded Jane.

"First of all – let me introduce Lord Potter to you, or more precisely, The Marquees Harry Potter, member of the House of Lords and a very distant relative of the Queen."

Harry stood up and bowed politely before sitting down again.

"Harry has inherited several factories, a newspaper, some vineyards – in Italy, Spain and France – a few castles, a handful of palaces and numerous houses throughout the world. We have yet to finish checking the documents and then we have to check the vaults as well. There's probably much more there."


"Why don't you think of something more exciting – your wedding, for example? Do you have a date in mind?"

"We were thinking of middle August, but now I don't know..."

"Why?"

"You see, a Marquees should consult with the Queen before getting married. Even before getting engaged, actually," told them Harry.

"I don't think She will oppose..." commented Dave.

"But it would still be an unforgivable breach of protocol not to consult with Her. The goblins are going to find us some advisors on etiquette and on proper behavior in court and then we should contact the palace and see how it goes..." said Harry.

Words fail me, when trying to sum up my thoughts on this story.

Even if I'm probably just missing out on some IRC scheme, 1/5

Seratin
05-25-2010, 05:26 PM
Can anyone tell me how many chapters it takes before this fic becomes worth reading? I just finished chapter four and I am seriously questioning Gio taste in fanfiction.

Chapter 8 sees the fic really pick up and become wtf-awesome. From then on it just gets better and better.

Celestin
05-25-2010, 05:32 PM
I tried to read it, but in the end skipped most of it. Don't see anything interesting or original. And seriously - Hermione basically raped Harry and he is like 'ok'. Like Memory King said - interesting what would be readers reactions if it was Harry raping Hermione. Also their daughter shouldn't be called Lillian but Mary Sue with her characterization and super magical powers.

2/5

wolf550e
05-25-2010, 05:34 PM
Thank you for quoting the deal-breaker parts, Iztiak. You have convinced me not to read this. Wandles magic at 4? Apparating into Hogwarts at 4? 0/5 without even looking.

Captain Trips
05-25-2010, 05:40 PM
No, just no.
I read it and I really did not like it.
It gets 2/5 from me

Rhys
05-25-2010, 05:40 PM
Uber powers on four year olds are mehworthy. Otherwise its ok, I suppose, though sort of lacking in conflict.

3/5

The Greek
05-25-2010, 06:09 PM
Seriously? No do not want! There is no depth of characters guys! Everything is sweet and light and everyone is happy and then the reader press [x].

What the hell? DLP gussing over Mary-Sue!daughter? Did we lose our balls with the old banner? The whole fic is a story where everyone is: "Oh, don't worry it's gonna be okay. I just want us to be a family and be happy!"

Let's take it from the start: First Hermione at 13 rapes Harry. Then 4 years later she drops pictures of their daughter who is a secret but then they spill the beans to everyone and everything. Then Hermione's parents, who, by the way, sooo understanding that their 13 yr old daughter got knocked up, are okay with memory charms and with raising Lillian (and what an original name that is!).

As time goes by and nothing from the last 7 books ever gets mentioned again (Voldemort, Dumbledore, Horcruxes, friends who died and so on and so forth..) everyone slowly learns the secret, which is no longer a secret, and miraculously nobody says anything negative about the whole idea!

I get that it's not an action fic but this is ridiculous! Guys get it together!
The cake is a lie and so is this story! Don't get fooled! 1/5 because the rating can't go any lower

Swimdraconian
05-25-2010, 06:15 PM
The crack is strong in this one.

Lawl/5

Lord Ravenclaw
05-25-2010, 06:18 PM
What is this I don't even...

Seriously, this story just gouged my fucking eyeballs out. I'll give it that some of the characterization was done okay later on, but the premise, execution, and plot in general just left me flabbergasted that the story had four stars when I picked it up. If it's meant to be a crackfic, that needs to be stated.

1/5

Silens Cursor
05-25-2010, 06:30 PM
AND....

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd319/Khellspawn/633764174634680245-successfultrolli.jpg

SUCCESSFUL TROLL IS SUCCESSFUL!!!

Seriously, though: epic fic is epic. A great deal of lulz were drawn from it.

ChaosGuy
05-25-2010, 06:30 PM
What the? Um... praise be for the magical red X button, this is bad, I don't care if it's crack or not, this is just bad.

EDIT: 2/5 for not having terrible grammar.

The Greek
05-25-2010, 06:39 PM
Thank god and everything else! Someone sane at last! I think we are the last survivors of a post apocalyptic world. The umbrella corporation has unleashed a new virus more terrible and deadly than ever! You don't know who to trust, trust nobody but your shotgun! The infection has spread! The terrible fics of Mary Sue and total fluffiness is here! Run for your lives!

Giovanni
05-25-2010, 06:59 PM
Here are some of the better LOLquotes:


Hermione shifted uncomfortably on her chair. "Well... I had just started having my period a few months earlier and I was extremely curious about the boy/girl differences. I knew I wasn't pretty and I knew nobody even thought of me as a girl. I was just the buck-toothed, bushy-haired, know-it-all, bossy bookworm. Nobody was really looking at me. Not even you or Ron." Harry seemed to want to say something, but Hermione raised her hand to stop him before he even opened his mouth.

"I've been reading all that I could find about it, even a few quite naughty books, but I had never seen any REAL boy. I thought that this was my chance. I cast a locking charm on the door, and then removed the blanket and pulled down your pajama trousers. You didn't even budge." Now Harry's cheeks were turning red, matching Hermione's color.

She swallowed again and continued. "I looked at your erection and then reluctantly touched it. You moaned in your sleep, which startled me for a moment."

She paused, turning even redder. "I then remembered all the dirty-talk I had heard in the girls' toilet; how boys liked putting their erection inside girls and how some girls liked it as well. I didn't believe I would ever get anybody interested in me THAT way, yet you were in front of me, sporting an impressive erection and totally oblivious to what was happening. I felt very horny just thinking of it. And then I started acting as if my brain had shut down. I removed my knickers and put them in my pocket, lifted my skirt and climbed to bed, positioning myself over you."

"You did?..." squeaked Harry in disbelief.

Hermione turned as red as possible. "I'm really ashamed. I'm sorry I used you without ever thinking, but I was acting as if my brain stopped functioning. I... I shagged you. It was my first and only time. I didn't know what to expect and I was scared and I was elated and I was acting on instincts alone. After a while I felt your release inside me and it triggered my own release. As soon as it was over, I cleaned us both, using my wand, pulled up your trousers and your blanket and sat down, just as before, wondering why I acted the way I did."


And then later . . .

"During the holidays I started feeling sick and my mom soon found I was pregnant. She couldn't believe I could be so reckless and so stupid. Neither could I. She suggested an abortion. It could be done with practically no pain and no further consequences and it was quite tempting. But then I thought of you, of what you were facing and of how much you had lost and I just couldn't do it. I felt that life was too precious to just throw it away, even if it was the life of an unborn embryo who wasn't even conceived with love. I told mom I wanted to keep it."

Looks like our author is a pro-lifer!

She yawned. "Will you sleep together again?"

"Probably" said Hermione, blushing.

"Then just give me a goodnight kiss."

Seriously guys, how the fuck did any of you who weren't in on this think that this was even remotely good?

digitalstorm
05-25-2010, 07:08 PM
Seriously guys, how the fuck did any of you who weren't in on this think that this was even remotely good?

Because those guys are sheep.

Seratin
05-25-2010, 07:20 PM
Much lulz was drawn from this. awesome.jpg.

Terrai
05-25-2010, 07:42 PM
Obvious troll is obvious, even if it has already been revealed. Though the first few posts giving it a decent rating made me contemplate their sanity. At most I rate this a 1/5.

Skykes
05-25-2010, 07:43 PM
Lulz at the people who said it was good. Sheep.

Loled at some of the reviews:
I finally finished reading. I tell you the same, mary sue and now you're adding a lot of cliches to an otherwise great and original story. (By the way, what Hermione did was rape, but I don't think a normal guy or at least me would be so affected). While not seeing much of lilliam has helped this last chapters, the bunch of cliches has made it an annoying read. Overly richHarry, nobilityHarry is just as bad as a mary sue. Instead you could have done a good realistic and strongFather Harry. Provides for his family. Take your parent's vault, and start wroking. For example, take the basilisk in the chamber and sell it for pieces. That should provide a good income. Start learning about wards and the likes to protect his family. I am sorry if I am sounding like I am flaming you, it's just I had hopes for this.

Bitch about clichés then suggest some more ^___-

And holy fuck why do I even read this shit?
bad hermione she should done when he was a wake enjoy it but maybe they still can if you know what i maen I think Icould see them get too get their when they go to get her perant in Australia hopeful

deathinapinkboa
05-25-2010, 08:04 PM
Can we put up a troll tag now that the joke is done, because I read six rather dreadful chapters wondering what the fuck had happened to Gio and if anything could possibly make the previous chapters acceptable.

Memory King
05-25-2010, 08:05 PM
Like I said previously, I definitely got some amusement out of this. But I was not laughing with the author.

1/5

Nemo
05-25-2010, 08:08 PM
Well, thank god this turned out to be a troll rec. I was wondering what kind of strange parallel universe I had fallen into when I actually read the 'fic and then saw all the gushing praise.

I guess I can save the post where I discuss exactly why it's shit, huh? Oh well.

Giovanni
05-25-2010, 08:55 PM
Can we put up a troll tag now that the joke is done, because I read six rather dreadful chapters wondering what the fuck had happened to Gio and if anything could possibly make the previous chapters acceptable.

I'm sorry Pinkboa, I really and truly am. But you have to understand that I did it for a righteous cause (the lulz). This fic was truly special (by which I mean skull-numbingly fucked up). It was too bad for a spot in the "awesomely bad" thread, because -- although many other fics are worse in individual areas -- this one was supremely and epically bad in all of them save for perhaps grammar.

Stormey
05-25-2010, 09:12 PM
You missed this quote.
"So... Lillian is MY daughter?..." he said, as if finally understanding her words.
"Yes, she is" whispered Hermione.
"How did you choose her name?" he asked.

I mean.. Duh.Uh.