Hey everybody,
This little idea came to me when I clicked on the Harry Potter link on FF.Net and saw a ridiculous summary. I immediately thought "The guys over at DLP would get a laugh of this..." and well, here I am.
Post all of the crappiest and most stupid sounding summaries you find. I'm not just talking about "PLZ REVIW! I SUCK AT SUMMRIES!", a general description of the story that sounds pathetic works well.
Sincerely,
Shezza88

Here's the one I was talking about

1) Harry, a gothy teen, working part time at a body art shop endures the mundane insanity of summer life with the Dursleys. Until something happens...dun dun da! Update: Less whining now, but still angsty. Now with a wee bit of drug action!

 

You really should check out Minerva McTabby's Summary Executions... I think she's up to volume thirty something. She collects all the worst summaries.

Yup. Volume 39 came out July 3rd. Here: http://mctabby.livejournal.com/392206.html#cutid1

And this is a link to her older ones.

 

Gah, I can't finish even the first entry of that because the summaries are so stupid. >_< Nice find nonjon.

 

Thanks nonjon for the link.

It was quite… enlightening read, but I’m surprise of the large quantity of bad or should I say worst summaries in fandom.

 

nonjon's link rules... where does she finds all those summaries?

 

Have you seen the main fic list page at ff.net? lol.

 

Ugh, how about no?

And I don't quite get why this is bad. Sure, it rambles, but I find it quite humorous in an insane-thinking-way.

 

"buggering sperm?"

Seriously? Think about that phrase. Ignoring that, it seems like an average rambling summary. But buggering sperm!

And in case you're curious, leaving any request on a summary and McTabby will pass along the link to the fic in question.

The comments are usually mildly entertaining as well. Especially in case you may not catch all the hilariousnessicity.

 

KeshinNoAkui: It's bad, because the summary must at least give the forthcoming readers some idea about the fic. Just like you said, it rambles; the author could have not written any summary and the outcome will be the same, no info.

 

Does this just totally inspire you to read this story, or what? Now that I have a good outline of what's going to happen in this story, I might just try it...[/sarcasm]

 

I find that any summary with the words Harry, Draco, Ginny, and/or sex in them are the worst.

 

There's really too many on Minerva McTabby's lists. I could paste dozens and dozens that cracked me up. So in the interests of brevity, here are five of my favorites:

Great-grandma and grandma meet on this ship? Go on, picture it. You know you want to.

And I can still picture Chris Kattan in that MTV special, "No Vanilla, No!"

I never want to read this story, because what my head is picturing is guaranteed to be better.

I can't believe there aren't more stories with this premise.

And probably the one that made me laugh the loudest this evening:

Señor Draco.

 

Wow...my armpits are gonna get ripped out.

I liked the one that claimed that nine foolscap pages was really long. Honestly.

 

I found the following summary at FFN and was slightly disturbed by it.

 

The images this creates are horrorfing beyond compare.... And I got a crush on Dumbledore? I didn't know that ...huh... learn something new everyday, but hey! At least my clothes are style-in

MY EARS ARE STILL RINGING!!!!11ONEONEONE

That is just wrong, words cannot describe the wrongness this is....

Ow...

No shit

....the words 'Eat, Mother, and Beastaliy' should never be in the same sentence. Especial not in a childrens story.

 

Here's a couple more...

Your MOM made you do this? Wow. Authors have sunk to new lows.

Really? Tell us more about how his life is changed. Please.

This sounds very mysterious. I wonder what the link could possibly be?

An Orange Boy, eh?

I can see how romance would develop out of that.

 

Is this idiot really serious???

 

I can't even imagine how the first part should sound in a sing song voice.

Oh, don't worry. I do fear for it.

Dancing lessons?

You got bored after three words? What the hell kind of story can you write it writing that much bores you?

 

That just crosses the line into super ultra gaydom

that speaks for itself I think

 

#It all starts with a Harry's abused thingy, but it will continue to something else.

Holy shit. Who abused Harry's thingy?

# Okay listen, I cant figure out the problem with the spacing and puntuation, but just read it and add the appropriote punctuation in your mind.No flames please.Major posting going on.

Thats like telling us to read a blank piece of paper and fill in the story in our minds.

# Draco leaves Ginny because she's so..whats the word....I dunno.

This one sentence sums up Ginny's characterisation, or lack of. That is, before OotP, where we were overwhelmed with just how spunky/feisty/popular she is.


# Ginny finally lost her verginity in her 3rd year of school. She loved it so much she dicided to have sex a lot, which eventually led to being a hooker. But one day she notices someone and she starts to change. And falls in love. What else will happen?

Wait, what the fuck? While Harry and 'Mione are off saving Sirius Black, she's getting her cherry popped? Then she becomes a hooker? A thirteen/fourteen year old hooker? Following in her mothers footsteps, perhaps.


# Lemme see... Harry... year 6... America... Mages of Twilight... Voldie... a witch... you get the idea.

No, I really don't.


# Animals are occasionally thrown in to add 'spunk' to the story as well.

Thats wrong on so many levels.


# Draco snaked his arms low around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. She smelled like cherries. "Sky's so clear tonight, I can see Saturn and count each of its rings."

Holy mother of goats. He's got the fucking Hubble Telescope built into his eyes.


# harry goes to prostitute collage to train to become a pimp

Priceless. Absolutely priceless. I can see it now...the golden lettering of the whorehouse, screaming out Prostitute College...the pimp canes littered around, the purple Cadillacs parked by the side.


# i won nothing. i am a disclaimer.

Eh, what?