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WIP Living an Indoctrinated Dream by Aberron - M - Mass Effect

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Harry_J_Potter, Dec 3, 2014.

  1. Harry_J_Potter

    Harry_J_Potter Second Year

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    73
    Title: Living an Indoctrinated Dream
    Author: Aberron
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/AU/ Political Backstabbing
    Status: WIP Still Updating
    Fandom: Mass Effect
    Pairings: TIM/Anyone he hires as hooker
    Summary: The entire ME Series, from the perspective of Jack Harper, The Illusive Man. A unique experience from the eyes of a man who has seen it all. A hard-ball version of the game series that you won't find anywhere else. AU, Indoctrination-free. Or may Hell have mercy on all those who know me.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10457949/1/Living-an-Indoctrinated-Dream

    Searched the Threads, Apparently never mentioned, so here it goes:



    Great character development of one Illusive Man, a man who wants best for Humanity.
    An AU universe with perspective from Illusive Man, first time I see a great attempt from different perspective without crossover mashup.


    One thing I might dislike is, sometimes it's slow moving, but it's needed to establish the characters. Otherwise it surpasses any of my standards, (Disclaimer: My standards might be low) I give it a 4.5/5
     
  2. Hachi

    Hachi Death Eater

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2010
    Messages:
    927
    Location:
    In the Zone
    A bit bland, slow paced, and the characterization of Jack Harper isn't always consistent. That said, I liked the interactions between TIM and Shepard's mother.

    Good enough for a read, not enough for the library imo.

    3/5
     
  3. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    Bumped to gain attention.

    I know we have a few people interested in Mass Effect. Please read and review and rate.

    I'll keep it in 'For Review for another 7 days.
     
  4. Harry_J_Potter

    Harry_J_Potter Second Year

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2013
    Messages:
    73
    Update on this story.

    It's now over 400,000 words long and has picked up the pace quite a bit. A lot of conspiracies and political backstabbing. Features a lot of characters with developed personalities.

    Also noticed it now has 4 star rating, move to Recommended?
     
  5. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Death Eater

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    972
    Location:
    California
    Caught up on it, I really enjoyed it. Definetly does a good job with mixing politics with a hint of action. You have deliberately a limited view of whats going on, and its similar to chess with half the board being occluded, and then suddenly 3 queens just show up. You know the other guy is cheating, but you can't quite figure out how. Fascinating read.
    4/5
    It is not perfect, it has slowdowns and tonal hiccups, but its very good.
     
  6. LogicalPremise

    LogicalPremise First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2015
    Messages:
    44
    Location:
    Texas, y'all.
    Yes, Recommend!

    I can't believe I did not see this thread.

    I've always liked this story if for no other reason than the mental planning and gymnastics, and the truly careful and skilled way Jack Harper is presented.

    It is very slow moving at times, but when you read through it all at once you begin to realize this may be on purpose. The slower moving parts tend to expand on and explode out concepts that are then drawn together in the faster paced parts.

    And the sheer number of unexpected lines -- 'Magical-girl-san' springs to mind -- just makes reading through the story wonderful.

    I am a huge fan of the character of Jack Harper and I've never seen a better portrayal. 4/5. The only real weakness bringing it down is the rather ... unexplained and frankly somewhat contrived time-travel method.
     
  7. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,609
    Living an Indoctrinated Dream has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 91
    Words: 1,098,848
    Updated: 2019-02-23 19:14:24 UTC
    Published: 2014-06-16 22:21:05 UTC
    Previously updated: 9 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
  8. maddsloth

    maddsloth Muggle

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2019
    Messages:
    1
    I seem to be missing something that makes this story a 3/5 and 4/5 … does it get better later on? I got about half way through the first chapter and would give it a 2/5 even though I really wanted it to be good.


    here are two parts of the first chapter that really confused me.

    ...He had not been able to change much, as far as he could tell. But so far he had kept the 2140 Olympics from becoming the bomb-ridden disaster that they had normally been. Of course, that was because he had been trying to get more biotic potential in the human race, and had rigged a space ship to explode and create that effect.

    He woke up in 2145 but prevented a bombing in 2140 that he himself had set up? But somehow did not realize the military buildup that happened because of the bombing would not happen? Also he still wants to create biotics, why would he not carry out the attack?



    ...Not quite his best work, trying to accelerate the growth of humanity. Vido Santiago had betrayed Zaeed Massani, alright. He nuked the poor bastard when Massani took a bullet through the head and got back up, killing all of the men sent to kill him. So, Vido decided to destroy one of the ships that Jack had gotten him, loading every scrap of Element Zero onboard, and blowing it up right on top of Zaeed.

    Later

    The very same nuke that started this entire mess. It was also laced with over thirty tons of Element Zero.


    First who used the nuke? Vido? Then after the nuke he loaded a shuttle with ‘every scrap’ of element zero on board and also blew that up over Massani but then that nuke and shuttle of eezo becomes a nuke ‘laced’ with 30 tons of eezo
     
  9. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,609
    Living an Indoctrinated Dream has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 92
    Words: 1,111,124
    Updated: 2019-06-07 23:48:17 UTC
    Published: 2014-06-16 22:21:05 UTC
    Previously updated: 3 months ago

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
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