Title: Failure
Author: Liffae
Rating: K+
Genre: Adventure
Status: WIP
Fandom: Naruto
Pairings: None
Summary: Team 7 didn't pass the bell test. It was the best thing that ever happened to Naruto.
Link

This fic was recently updated and the latest chapter was refreshing enough and promising enough that I felt this fic now warrants a shot at the Library. A cursory search didn't turn up any other threads for it, though it may have come up in the Naruto rec thread.

It's sort of short so far, with 7 chapters and ~23k words as of this post, but what is there is fast-paced and good enough that I feel this is a good time to put it up for review.


What I like in particular about this are the unique but distinctive character voices, how the fic is not at all afraid to go off the rails, and the fact that there is no angst despite the usage of several tropes that one would assume would lead to angst.

In fact, what impresses me most about this is the author's writing style which manages to convey feeling without going over the top, that manages to explain the thought process of a person in momentary despair while not making me cringe every second sentence.

This is not at all an angst fic, though it starts similarly to many such fics.

As for plot, the basic idea is the plot diverges from the point that, after some hesitation, Sasuke doesn't offer Naruto his food during the second part of the bell test and thus, the team fails. It follows several characters, though most prominently Naruto, during the aftermath.

I like reading about this Naruto. He retains the canon feeling of the character while going through and pursuing things that I like to read about.

4/5 from me for now, with the potential to go higher if it maintains this level of quality later on.

Also, it's not a shitty SI fic.

Give Failure a try.

 

7 chapters and 23k words in 4 years. I don't really think this fic is going to go anywhere in regards to plot.

 

As I said, it updated recently after a long pause. The actual pacing is quite fast, rather unlike the update rate.

 

The writer also has 3 other stories that were completely abandoned in the early stages. FFN is filled with such authors. This story is going nowhere, I doubt it will even reach 40k words.

As for the story itself, it's all over the place...

(EDITED by Palindrome. Use spoiler tags, people.)

Spoiler

Naruto fails the bell test, abandons the village, comes back and learns uber techniques from the library while henge'd as various jounin, is given a message from the hokage explaining that he's now on a five year mission to explore new life and new civilizations, then when Kakashi, Sasuke and Team 10 take the Wave Mission Naruto is an enemy on the side of Zabuza and Haku wearing a funky mask for some reason

...and then I needed to make a sandwich and closed the tab.

 

^While none of that sounds great, Spoilers, Dude.

 

Don't worry. While what he said is technically mostly correct, it is greatly exaggerated and lacks any of the things that actually make the story great or any insight into how those tropes are used differently than in the myriad of shitfics that use something similar.

 

I pretty much agree with the OP. There's definitely a concern that it will slip into update limbo again but that's the risk of fanfiction. This could easily have been spun into a million word slog but instead skips all the minutiae and goes from important scene to important scene.

I also disagree that Naruto has learnt any uber jutsu. The kage bunshin is still his greatest strength. Everything else was enough to give him a bump to chuunin level with potential for future growth.

4/5

 

It is a good story. I do really like the pacing and the plot - in 23,000 words, the author got through what it would take a worse author over a hundred thousand. It's not really rushed, just very fluid and smooth. Nice character development, good plot and a lot of thought put into it.

That said, despite how smooth it's written, the author still goes through a lot very quickly, and he has to brush past a lot. It's not really an immersive story, and I do think it's lacking something in that regard. More like just reading snap shots of a plot happening, in places.

Likewise, there's a quite a few of the characterizations that irritate me, particularly how instantly Naruto goes to a flawless protagonist with a super important mission. I would say that does fall quickly into a fanon portrayals of Naruto and others; well thought out portrayals, but still a lot fanon in there. The whole premise of the main plot and Naruto's mission does strain credibility a bit, but then again, it could well be that if there was more context and detail put into the events then I'd be able to accept it.

So yeah, I'm torn. Overall, I want to enjoy it - I can recognize the skill involved and the plot; it's all high quality, very focused and doesn't drift, but at the same time I felt like it's a story that's, well, always going to feel almost insubstantial. I'll give it a 3.5 / 5.

 

I'm more in agreement with PrinceAscot: the story is clipped, with little bullshit to bloat it, but you often feel like it might have snipped off a little too much at the cutting board. I also am a bit ambivalent about the speed of Naruto's development relative to his canon self, especially considering the point of divergence, but I'm willing to shove that aside as the plot seems to be taking some new, interesting directions.

At the end of the day, 3/5.