Hi.

[Euphemism]

Before I start, there's two things you should know about me.

First, I'm a windbag.

Second, I like Hermione as a character (most of the time) and thus H/Hr.

Now that I've stated those facts, if you haven't decided to kill me yet, I'll continue along and prove the first statement.

I first started reading Harry Potter fanfiction around 5 years ago, with fairly low standards. Way back when there was only two ships to follow, unless you liked slash. On second thought, I don't think there was that much slash back then either. Well, there was Cho too, but nobody wrote very much H/C.

Anyhow, my current tastes in fanfiction run to anything featuring an independent Harry, or at least an intelligent one. I haven't read HBP, having heard nothing but horrible things about it. After reading a rather interesting essay at the Harmony site (That you, nuit, for providing the link), I think I know why there's so much rampant hatred for Ginny here - blatant cringe-worthy Mary-Sue-ism. (Although calling her a whore that has gone through all the boys of Hogwarts might be stretching it. In order to do that, in such a short time and still keep her reputation intact enough that none of the Gryffindors in Harry's year suspect, she'd need... er... magic.)

I wish there was more Harry/female!Blaise to read, though really, any decent Harry/femaleSlytherin will do. Even Pansy. Maybe not Millicent. Speaking of which, does anyone have a copy of nengski's original version of "The Blaze of Blaise Zabini"? I was rather annoyed to find that she started to rewrite it for OotP, and abandoned it practically at the beginning. Wish she had written a sequel instead.

Finally, I have a nice AU-yet-not fic planned, that I think is rather original, and might be enjoyable to the people who browse these forums. Expect to see it in all its glory in about two years or so.

[Lord Ravenclaw]

Welcome to DLP.net! I too like Hermione...when she isn't being a prissy, stuck-up, bookworm who's too arrogant for her own good. I can even like H/Hr when its written well, though it isn't my favorite pairing. I only truly hate H/G. Harry/Fem!Blaise is probably my favorite. Stained-future, suffer a painful, drawn out death for mangling such a great pairing.

[Lord Osiris]

Oooo someone should seriously have Herm start drinking excessively maybe then the stuck up know-it-all mudblood will lay back and chill! anyways welcome to the crew make sure you have piece of kitchenware to protect you from those filthy slashers and Harry/ginslut shippers!

[Zevrillion]

Welcome to DLP.net.

[Antivash]

Welcome... enjoy your stay... there are a fewrules that go without saying.. thats why im going to tell you them...

Always bow to the admins...
No bashing people for the sake of it...
if your going to bash a pairing... dun doit blatantly unless youve read posted fic...
Vash is a sick and twisted fucker who fancies himself a new age Sade... try not to get too offended...
Ravenclaw fancies himself God... dont tell him the truth... it might pop his little imaginary world bubble...
Midknight fancies himself a hardworking devoted and fair individual... dun tell him hes just a sarcastic evil glory-seeking bastard who posts for the sake of seeing himself post...
and Giovanni... well.. he just fancies himself... dun go near that with a 30 Ft pole...

[MadEyes]

Hiya!

[DaytonDeusBlack]

supp? Welcome to DLP

[IndoGhost]

Hi I'm Indo. welcome :D

[Silent]

Hi! Have you picked an item of kitchenware yet? Very useful for torture.

[Euphemism]

I'm thinking of a butterknife. It reminds me of the dagger that the Prince picks up when you start 'The Two Thrones'... it's about as effective as one, anyway.

The spork sounds pretty cool, but I don't know how it'll actually do in practice. Hm, what other kinds of merged kitchenware can you get? Foons? Knorks? Chopstives?

[IndoGhost]

i got a teacup just so i can stab someone. :twisted:

[Silent]

I'm thinking of a butterknife.
Good idea, those things hurt. I got a nasty butter knife cut once.

[realmess]

hello :twisted:
Hermine isn't my favorite, though it can be acceptable if written well.
erm~ a windbag??? well, I won't ask, after all I'm mess.

Choose your weapon wisely, the grapefruit spoon is mine.

[MadEyes]

Indeed, your kitchenware may very well be your identification here in DLP, so choose well. Personally I still prefer my poisoned Cookie Cutters of death. In Christmas tree and Santa Clause shape, of course. There is no need to disregard the season while mauling the Weasley tramp.

[Miss Selarne]

Hello! Have fun choosing kitchenware. Though I really don't understand everyone's fascination with it.

I think the spork's already taken though. So you can't have that.

[I LOVE GINNY]

Welcome, and well I can't say that I like Hermione at all, or H/Hr, atleast you don't like Ginny. . . You don't, right?

[Midknight]

Lohas and welcome.

Vash is a sick and twisted fucker who fancies himself a new age Sade... try not to get too offended...
Ravenclaw fancies himself God... dont tell him the truth... it might pop his little imaginary world bubble...
Midknight fancies himself a hardworking devoted and fair individual... dun tell him hes just a sarcastic evil glory-seeking bastard who posts for the sake of seeing himself post...
and Giovanni... well.. he just fancies himself... dun go near that with a 30 Ft pole...


Hrm seeing as I got the longest sarcastic bash, anything we need to talk about Vash? Sarcastic, evil yes, the rest I'll freaking jab your eyes out and hand them to Gio to play with for that! *cackles*

[Euphemism]

Hello! Have fun choosing kitchenware. Though I really don't understand everyone's fascination with it.

I think the spork's already taken though. So you can't have that.

I think it has to do with the idea that something so small, so common, so apparently harmless, can make a decent weapon. Although the chopknife seems pretty good. Take a nice pair of chopsticks, and whittle the ends into sharp knives.

I think I'll choose the butterknife. Just need to take an in-game snapshot of the butterknife and make it my avatar.

Welcome, and well I can't say that I like Hermione at all, or H/Hr, atleast you don't like Ginny. . . You don't, right?

I don't care much for Ginny - I prefer most other pairings to it (except I might rate H/C slightly lower - OotP ruined any chance of liking Cho for me). Still, there is the occasional good fic with an H/G pairing in it. (Blasphemy, I know :twisted:)

[Midknight]

Hello! Have fun choosing kitchenware. Though I really don't understand everyone's fascination with it.

It's a running gag from back in the days. I mentioned something about "I had Harry Imperius Umbridge, and command her to stab Fudge to death with a spoon.. but i want to get more umph then that, lol. I don't think you can get more hardcore hate then being stabbed to death with a spoon though Very Happy"

and then wrote a scene into my fic with Voldemort stabbing Vernon in the crotch with a fork b/c that was all at hand, and it kinda became the epitome of evil to be able to torture folks and do cool twisted stuff with such simple items.

[I LOVE GINNY]

I don't care much for Ginny - I prefer most other pairings to it (except I might rate H/C slightly lower - OotP ruined any chance of liking Cho for me). Still, there is the occasional good fic with an H/G pairing in it. (Blasphemy, I know :twisted:)

Uh-oh, you better hide from Sera now! :twisted:

[Silent]

Though I really don't understand everyone's fascination with it.
*eyes widen* You mean, you've never actually chased someone with a piece of kitchenware?! It's so terribly fun, though! They run so fast when you brandish a cutting board...

[Antivash]

Hrm seeing as I got the longest sarcastic bash, anything we need to talk about Vash? Sarcastic, evil yes, the rest I'll freaking jab your eyes out and hand them to Gio to play with for that! *cackles*

not at all... its just a show of respect... and the only one i thought out... all in fun.. no need to look in that closet! *puts padlock on closet door*

[Midknight]

Hrm seeing as I got the longest sarcastic bash, anything we need to talk about Vash? Sarcastic, evil yes, the rest I'll freaking jab your eyes out and hand them to Gio to play with for that! *cackles*

not at all... its just a show of respect... and the only one i thought out... all in fun.. no need to look in that closet! *puts padlock on closet door*

aw thanks Vash I think you're a asshat too! :D

[glory_potter]

hey,
have a nice stay at dark lord potter ....... enjoy fanfic

[Rob]

Hey, and welcome to DLP. You're in decent company; I'm a bit of a H/Hr person myself (although it has to be decently well-written, ie Full Pensieve's stuff). Good call on the butterknife - innoculous yet devious. Clever.

[Spacks]

I ended up choosing a spoon.

I like spoons.

Especially rusty...spoons.

[Midknight]

<-- points. nada spoon, spork and the other variations are taken, try to be a bit more original and deviant =)

[Lord Ravenclaw]

Sporks are taken <--, and the fork is too. Anyone else's but the Admins' and Mods' you can steal though.

[DaytonDeusBlack]

I was surfing through the introductions the other day and I think the kitchenware thing started with Dark Syaron's introduction. Anyways, mine is a bunch of refridgerator magnets. cool no? :twisted:

[Spacks]

How about blenders? or rolling pin?

[Silent]

Someone has a blender, but I'm not so sure about a roling pin - it might be free.

[Midknight]

I was surfing through the introductions the other day and I think the kitchenware thing started with Dark Syaron's introduction. Anyways, mine is a bunch of refridgerator magnets. cool no? :twisted:

Nada, it was going on a bit before then, mostly in my story review threads. I'd wanted to make a point of how hardcore Harry would bee in some scenes, so I'd originally written one where someone got stabbed to death with a spoon.

http://darklordpotter.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=826&highlight=spoon#826
..with a spoon is what vash forgot to add. Yes they are that bad! Ever seen someone stabbed to death with a spoon! They're THAT bad 4/11


http://darklordpotter.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=1459&highlight=spoon#1459
"I had Harry Imperius Umbridge, and command her to stab Fudge to death with a spoon.. but i want to get more umph then that, lol. I don't think you can get more hardcore hate then being stabbed to death with a spoon though Very Happy" 4/20

and then in the intro description to my story I have "'+ Rating: Mature for fight scenes, severe description of castration via fork, and just blame b/c I warned ya. "

[DaytonDeusBlack]

That scares off a lot of people you know?

[Midknight]

Naw, it's the S&P section that scares them off!