View Full Version : Vorlon's bitch session

01-06-2006, 12:02 AM
Hello Fellow Potter Fans

Well here I was perusing the latest comments when I happened to fall into the award winning links. NOW for the most part, I am fairly tolerant of people either complementing or bashing my story. If it is waranted I'll gladly accept critical comment so that I can better my story. TO THAT EFFECT I have gone and corrected the last six chapters for the incredebly anal retentive english masters out there.

MY BITCH TODAY had a lot more to do with people saying that I am using old cliche for RON, Hermione and Harry braking up. Well I hate to point out the obvious to the most retarted critics but their is only so many ideas out there that one can use to create an ultimate riff between people. AS FOR THE FUCKING GRAMMAR I would like to say KISS MY FUCKING ASS!

I don't see my critics pumping out over 25k plus material. To make it worse my critics are actully pumping out less then 10k, garbage riddled with pathetic third year spells and no hope in hell of ever acheiving a decent spell vocabulary. Of course I am referring to Lord Ravenclaw and Lord Sarapeth who seem very intent on cutting my story. Well Gentleman, I have read YOUR material and I must say it's o.k but you sure as hell could use a decent spell creator. Try a Latin to English translator, I'm sure it would allow your story to progress from a two year old perspective to something resembling #12 Grimmauld place

01-06-2006, 12:41 AM
Woah there, guy.

We might be harsh, but we're honest. We were not, however, insulting you personally. Specifically attacking a mod and admin of this site isn't very smart either. And, Serapheth is the author of Dakaath and The Happy Red Prince, and does crank out big chapters at a good pace, about the same as you. And, he has more than one story, both popular. Another thing, his work isn't riddled with grammar mistakes and poor sentence structure, like yours is, so he spends more time actually paying attention to how he writes. Raven has been busy lately with PatronusCharm, so he hasn't been updating that fast lately. He might also have a life outside fanfiction. A strange thought, I know. And, where the hell did you get second year spells from either of their stories? You're just sprouting off some random ass bullshit right now.

It doesn't really matter how much you write, if the quality of the story is shoddy.

Uh...yeah, I really shouldn't be speaking for them though. Oops. I'll go away now. :arrow:

01-06-2006, 12:49 AM
Chill, Vorlon. Your story is well liked. Personally, I like theirsmore, but that's a matter of taste. :D :wink:

01-06-2006, 12:51 AM
OUCH!…but I guess I have to say im personally in Vorlon’s corner, I think the story is a great story that tries to avoid the typical cliché’s, though I do have to admit that im slightly worried Vorlon is running out of steam in his story…but besides that the story is definitely on my top 5 list.

Now that im thinking about it I remember a few spelling/grammar errors (special with pov changes) while reading it but the fact that the story was soooo damn good swept that complaint right from my mind.

I would definitely recommend finishing it Midknight and srispg, its worth it. And even if parts of it are Cliché its stories like this one that remind you why it’s a cliché in the first place, because when they’re this damn well done its absolutely awesome.

01-06-2006, 01:01 AM
Nah, I can't read it. It goes against everything I hold dear in fanfiction to read a story with that many grammar mistakes. I have heard that it has some good ideas along with the cliches, but I just can't.

And, I have a problem with the author. He has some real issues with anyone criticizing his work, as seen in his post. They are valid criticisms too.

01-06-2006, 01:05 AM
ROFLMAO...come talk to me about quality when you prove able to turn out a chapter that doesn't look like something left in the hopper by an eleven year old with dyslexia. You've obviously got some maturity and self-esteem issues to deal with, throwing a defensive tantrum like some retarded baby when faced with perfectly valid criticism. If you can't take the heat then just get out of the motherfucking kitchen. Like I said, I wasn't intending to be rude, but since you seem to want to act like some petulant child I'll treat you like one.

01-06-2006, 01:18 AM
And there's your response from Lord Serapheth, Vorlon. I would recommend you take his advice, more specifically, to "get out of the motherfucking kitchen." The kitchen in this place would be fanfiction, just in case you didn't get that. You'll always have critics on your ass, no matter how long or good your story is.

Lord Ravenclaw
01-06-2006, 05:14 AM
Jumping in here to defend myself...your rant has little basis. For one, I've never criticized your story. I've commented that the first chapters have worse grammar than the later ones, but searching through my posts I've never once cut down your story. In fact, I've recommended it to more than one person, advising them to trudge through the first chapters (which are somewhat hard to read) to get to the truly great chapters.

I enjoy your story, its one of my favorites, but I do not appreciate being incorrectly accused of something. As for my spells, thought is put into them. I use a fucking Latin dictionary and what meager knowledge of Latin syntax and grammar I know in them. If you're talking about Heir of Silvertongue...he didn't exactly have time-dilation device to learn dueling in a single month now did he? Thus why he is training with a dueling master.

Next time, before YOU cut down someone, get your facts straight. I've never ONCE cut down you or your story. Next time I will not hold back when replying, as I hope it was a simple case of mistaken identity this time.

I don't pump out huge amount of content, but I also have class, freelance programming, leisure programming (ie, PatronusCharm) and life to deal with. As I'm getting into a nice habit, I've put out 14,000 words of content this week. I hope to put out this much every week or two, but that isn't the point.

If you're mad because you didn't win the award...well you don't get everything in life. I voted for you. Others voted for you as well. Jeaconis's fic happened to end up on top. Don't worry about it, its a simple award. If you revised the first few chapters, I would bet that you'd see a lot more people actually reading through the story, and would probably win this award come next award time.

Dark Syaoran
01-06-2006, 05:32 AM
You people need to chill... seriously.

01-06-2006, 07:49 AM
Well, Scorpion IS my favourite fic, but I'm with the admins in this one (you won't kick me out now... right? :-))).

As much as I like SS, it 's true that first several chapters have a lot of errors of every kind. It is far from unreadable, as some hinted, but it could use some editing.

As for Serepath and Raven's story, these are definitely the wrong people to attack. They are both good writers, who never actually flamed you or anything... If you really needed a rant, there were much better targets around.

01-06-2006, 10:31 AM
Personally, I'll take it as an unintentional compliment that the worst complaint he can dredge up about my work is that I don't waste my bloody time inventing new and hugely complicated spells for battle scenes. Anybody who actually reads my primary story will understand that wand magic only comprises Harry's opening strategy. He doesn't truly need his wand to win and he only uses the damned stick to get into a rhythm and perhaps frustrate and tire his opponents before getting into close quarters and demolishing them. And should all that fail, he plays his trump card and obliterates them with demonic energy. The spell compendium I use is good enough for Shezza, who uses spells from it all the time in his works, and his battle scenes are by and far the best in the entire fandom, period. So there goes the credibility about that argument.

In the end, the fighting only consitutes a small part of what makes my work dynamic. I don't need to rely on bloodbaths to captivate an audience. The fights do help, and I haven't seen any credible criticism about how I've done them. I should think that's good enough seeing as many of the most gifted and creative authors in the fandom read and follow my work. My characters and plot are really the main focus. I prefer to think that Dakaath themes more around politics and manipulation with physical warfare taking a secondary role. As for my other fic, Harry is eleven. You can't expect him to be using super inventive magic and fighting like some magical war god. I also try to keep my characters realistic, unlike a certain case I can think of where all Harry's friends suddenly wake up one day and decide that he's evil and needs to be eradicated or whatever. When I change a character's outlook, I either provide a very good reason for it, or make the change gradual and detailed enough that it makes sense.

01-06-2006, 02:01 PM
Nah, I can't read it. It goes against everything I hold dear in fanfiction to read a story with that many grammar mistakes. I have heard that it has some good ideas along with the cliches, but I just can't.

And, I have a problem with the author. He has some real issues with anyone criticizing his work, as seen in his post. They are valid criticisms too.

Ditto, while he didn't call me out as well in his rant( I think he may of meant to and saw the yellow name as Raven instead of me come to think of it, I think I slammed it in this thread), his general attitude in this post as well as one of his others he's made on this site has soured me on anything he might produce. I've since went back and skimmed the chapters, and they make me grimace.

While WKGQ did have cliche moments, it was well written enough (not counting he ending) and at least showed a middle school level grasp of language and grammar. Yeah it may "only" be fanfiction, but if you're posting it for thousands to read, if you care about it enough to get bitchy over it, you should care about it enough to make it look good.

01-07-2006, 01:27 PM
Also, refusing to read a story b/c it has a few spelling and grammar errors is a poor excuse. Scorpion Sorcerer is definitely not “horribly” misspelled and also definitely doesn’t “butcher” the English language. I reed threw the story with very few problems and I enjoyed every second of it.

The guy had Ascension misspelled in the title when he first started posting the story. That right there is enough for me to shun the story. And, trust me, I'm a hugh nitpicker about grammar in stories, and this guys story was extremely horrible in that aspect.

Necrule Paen
01-07-2006, 02:54 PM
I have to agree about the grammar. When I started to read it the first five or so chapters were just horrendous. If it wasn't for all of the people who said how good it became, I would have stopped reading it. Later on in the story it isn't as bad either because he got better, he got a beta reader, or I am just used to it, but in any case it is a valid critique.

01-11-2006, 11:02 PM
Hello Everyone

It's been a while since I have loged onto this wonderful site. I would like to thank everyone who has supported my fic despite some of it's shortcomings. OF COURSE the shortcomings I am referring too are some of the minor grammar mistakes and some punctuation issues. I will be the first to admit that my native tong IS not English. That being said, I have had a good look at the stories that some of my critics have written and I honestly don't understand their bitch about my story!

NOW in order to silence those critics, I have taken on myself to review every chapter that I have posted in order to fix as many grammar and punctuation issues as I can find. SO TO ALL MY FANS if I am late posting chapter 17 you now know why that is and you can blame it on the grammatically correct assholes who seem to think that Fan Fick is about winning a fucking Pulitzer prize.

Now to be fare I do enjoy constructive and even flames to some extent. However, some of the shit my story has been taking is just plain fucking wrong. NOW, I ASK YOU READERS? what would you prefer, a Story that has perfect puntuation or a story that bases itself on complete originality? Some of my critics such as LORD RAVENCLAW, or LORD SARAPETH have hinted that I have used old cliche ideas on Dumbledore/ Ron/ Hermione WELL It's uterly fucking obvious to me that they have not fully read my story and understand where the betrayal starts.

NOW to take a leaf out of their books, I went and read their storie's , and I must say, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY COMPLAINING ABOUT MY STORY. Their stories lack imagination to say the least. Their attempt at explaining scientific principles where spells and metallurgy is concerned is a complete fucking farce. Lord Ravenclaw and Lord Sara whatever utterly lack originality in their spell work and scientific descriptions. What the FUCK is Mythril??? Never heard of it, however I can assure you that Rhenium is quite real, any decent chemistry books will tell you that. I guess what I am trying to say IS THAT PEOPLE LIVING IN FUCKING GLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES!!!

Some stories I have read are actually on par with my own in originality and content. Author IP82 is a good candiate. Keep up the good work. I really like your Story. As for my critics, make sure you know what the fuck you are talking about before cutting down other peoples work :evil: . Now because of all this fucking review, I'll be at least t'ill the end of January 2006 before I post Chapter 17.

Any way, I would like to take this time and thank all my supporter's for the awsome reviews that I have received. I don't always answer my reviewers but I sure do appriciate them. As for my critics, they do provide some decent feed back at times, and at other times they could just eat the corn out of my shit.

NOW for all my readers, I am planning a second story. IT will be a major anti slash work. I plan on making a lot of fudge packers very sad. Sorry but the Slash and Angst has really been getting to me. Well that is all for now. See you on the flip side :wink: .


01-11-2006, 11:10 PM
Oh, ffs man, stop with the arguing. Everybody else has already forgotten about it, why can't you? Obviously, no matter what we say, the only thing you'll say is that grammar isn't important.

Ahem, unlike you, I don't think Raven or Sera were trying to go for the science award.

In response to your question...I wouldn't read a story if all it had was good grammar. But I wouldn't read a story if all it had was originality. I prefer for my stories to have both.

01-11-2006, 11:35 PM
<snip> blah blah you suck, screw you, etc random crap

I'm sick of you insulting folks who are only being honest about your story, and giving you opinions on how to improve it. You're the first temp banned person here until you learn how the heck to speak to people, especially the folks that bust their butts to run this place. Much less replying several days after it's already been forgotten about.

If you can't handle someone pointing out your flaws so you can make them better, you shouldn't be worry about what they say.

I've had it with the nonstop bitch fests that have been going on whenever there is a major disagreement, especially over something as retarded as this. You could of simply said you'd work on it, and asked for help or shrugged it off, instead of carrying on like an arrogant ass.

If you don't like this, feel free to keep it to yourself, but the constant damned flame bait will end now. We're growing, and we're not going to stand by and let folks have insult fests anymore, especially not over constructive criticism.

Lord Ravenclaw
01-12-2006, 12:02 AM
For God's sake man, look at yourself. You speak of people unfairly flaming your story, yet when I give you a small bit of criticism you decide to slam mine. Before, I had never said a word against your story, only that they should press on through the beginning chapters to get to where the story really started getting good.

Who gives a flying fuck if Mithril exists? I don't, and though that story needs rewriting, I fail to see why using a metal typically depicted in other stories (some of which were a BASIS for HP) is a problem. I don't exactly plan for Harry to enter the bloody science fair.

Also, don't start jumping to conclusions or falsely accusing others.

As for my critics, make sure you know what the fuck you are talking about before cutting down other peoples work

You'd do well to remember your own advice. I've never once insulted your work outside of constructive criticism. If you can't handle constructive criticism, don't ask for it.

My spellwork (aside from the core spells) is all crafted through the use of Latin words, phrases, and grammar. I fail to see the unoriginality of that. I'll refrain from making any disparging comments aimed towards your spellwork.

Now because of all this fucking review, I'll be at least t'ill the end of January 2006 before I post Chapter 17.

Don't think so highly of yourself to actually believe that we'd care if your temper tantrum pushed back your next chapter. I like your story, but I won't continue to defend it and constructively criticize it if all I get is flak in return.

Dark Syaoran
01-12-2006, 02:38 AM
Mithril may not be real but you do realise that Harry Potter isnt either, right Vorlo?

01-12-2006, 06:29 AM
Mithril or Mythril however you want to spell it is typically used in fantasy stories and I believe rendere most well known through Final Fantasy.

Secondly, Ill second Raven and say Potter aint no fucking chemist. Ill even wager he dont know shit above 6th grade science.

Im not the first to say my own story lacks in proper grammer, and i know while its not entirely original, time and again its the classics that most people enjoy. (Read: I dont give a damn so long as people enjoy it and i havefun writing it.)

And i think i can safely say youve killed any support you might have gotten around here with you bitching. I take flak all the time over the depravity and lack of morals Soul has, and yet I still keep on truckin and aint said an unkind word to anyone about it.

I will give you a bit of advice though. Get over yourself and get over it. No matter how perfect you story is, or how real t is, or how original, someone is going to hate it on mere principle...

01-12-2006, 10:03 AM
Well, like I said, I love Scorpion Scorcerer and I'm thankful for the praises, but in this case I'll have to say that Vorlon is in the wrong.

I went over the SS thread here and read through Ravenclaw's and Serepheth's reviews and I didn't see anything there that would amount to outright flaming Vorlon... Especially from Lord Ravenclaw, whose story had received the most of the flak (I think Vorlon had actually mixed him up with Midknight)...

Blaming lateness of the next chapter on ones critics is also out of place. No one is forcing Vorlon to fix his grammer. I personally don't mind it, but I can see how native English speakers might find the errors anoying.

I'm against any kind of personal attack and Vorlon's post(s) unfortunately ammounts one. Like I said before, if Vorlon really needed to flame anyone, there are much better targets around (like in the "awesomely bad" HP fanfics thread).

01-12-2006, 10:13 AM
Vorlon take it like a man. Stop bitching about, and starting, shit. Relax.

01-12-2006, 10:38 AM
Lay off the drugs for a while. You CAN BE GOOD WITHOUT IT.

Vorlon, you have friends out there (well, maybe :wink: ) who want to see you get better. So, put the crack pipe down and just RELAX. :gently guides him by the arm: That's it. We're gonna get you healthy again, okay?

P.S. (What about Naquadriah? Compared to Naquadriah, MIthiril is as recognizable as an apple.)

01-12-2006, 11:23 AM

It's kind of funny that my call sign was banned and unable to respond to the flames coming my way. I'll not get into that now since it's pointless anyway.

It seems that critique is only allowed one way. That's allwright, since it's your site you can do whatever you want. I would like the administrators to pull any links to my story from darklordpotter.site I can take it with the best of them, however when one does not have the power to defend himself what's the point?

I still think this is a great site, however, I feel my story belongs to a different group of people. My plan is to go back and rewrite every chapter. That being said, It will most likely still have some words sticking, or a tense that is misplaced. One thing for sure, it will definetly not meet the high expectations of the grammitical gods. Therefore in order to spare anyone a session of bleeding eyeballs or smashing your head in your monitor, it would be best if any links to MY STORY were pulled off from this site.

I hold no animosity towards anyone, but I think parting ways is the best solution. Again i'll say it, this is a great site, but since I don't have the grammatical power that other's have it would be best to avoid my story.

Take Care and God Bless

Vorlon666 (see you at FanFiction.net!)

01-12-2006, 01:20 PM
Just run the fucking thing through spelling/grammer checking software.

01-12-2006, 05:56 PM
Hello blah blah blah

Good lord Daniel you do think alot of yourself don't you?

A) there were no flames, nothing that was even close to the caliber of the bitchfest you threw, multiple times now might I add.

B)I temp banned you, and listed why, for repeat personal attacks against folks, and folks who run the site at that. You followed through by ignoring the ban, and making another username, which is a no no. If you'd accepted you were in the wrong by the repeated attacking in two seperate threads, then you would of had it lifted in a few days.

C)Criticism is allowed and encouraged. Carrying on like an arrogant ass for no reason, and attacking folks is not.

"I hold no animosity towards anyone,"

-yet you bash 2 of the staff, when you probably didn't even MEAN Ravenclaw, as he's been a DEFENDER of your fic for the longest time. The ignorance there was amazing. We let your first bitch session in the SS thread go by, we let the first one here go by, strike 3 and 4 were the previous posts as well as the additional one in SS.

As for grammar gods? No, but it'd be nice to be able to recommend the story without saying, btw, please ignore the utterly retarded spelling that occurs for so much of the fic, it's a great story. It was a suggestion, that you obviously couldn't handle. Crying like a child over this is retarded, and having a tantrum pulling links hurts no one, so I'll be happy to snag them down.

Your arrogance places you above Rosswrock in my book, at least his story is readable without myriad errors, and his arrogance at least doesn't lead him to slam everyone for reviews he doesn't like. I do find it amusing that your reply was the most civil post you've made thus far.

01-12-2006, 06:25 PM
You know what's funny is that this is meant to be a thread celebrating what we voted as the best all around Harry Potter fanfiction. The fact that your fic was nominated should let you know that there are people here that like it, the fact that it got second place should make you feel proud of yourself. This thread seems to have degenerated from something celebrating fanfiction into a one man bitchfest against those with honest critique.

I see no flames in this thread, only honest constructive critique on areas of your writing you could improve on. The fact that you are a none native English speaker should give you more of a reason to listen to these people.Yes there are flames in this thread but those seem to be directed more specifically at the way you are taking the criticism, for that I don't blame them.

Just chill out a little and let this thread get back to the purpose it was created for; to discuss good award winning fanfiction.

01-18-2006, 11:16 PM
I find it amusing he's still harping on this. Got this in a PM via FF.nut today.

penname: Vorlon666
profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/790073/

I have just reviewed your last posting? Interesting but I really don't care at this jucture. You again complained about my grammar. That's fine, however you call be arrogant, you should see what you wrote, and I might add

You said:
You are without a doubt an arrogant twit who cannot handle one ounce of constructive suggestions, nor folks who do not like your fic.

The Criticism and Flames would be worth something in the first place if they actually included examples of how to fix them. Instead of OH MY GOD BY THE THIRD CHAPTER MY EYEBALLS WERE BLEEDING. Yah that was really constructive. That is but a small sample of the flames by the way.

Then You wrote:
If anyone feels that it was handled wrong, oh well, you will no longer get away with flame baiting or flame fests, and if you are stupid enough to attack the administration.

Well it seems you are the one who is an arrogant ass. So from that last statement since you are administrative you are allowed to throw all kinds of shit at people, however if shit gets thrown your way it's astalavista. That's fine like I said, it's your site and you can do whatever you like HOWEVER, I REMAIN FIRM ON WANTING ANY LINKS TO MY STORY PULLED FROM YOUR SITE. THAT WAY YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH A SUB STANDARD GRAMMAR STORY KAPISH?

As For LORD RAVENCLAW I do appologize, I meant someone else and for some reason, his name was put down. That was an error on my part, probably due to the fact that you MIDKNIGHT really fucking pissed me off.



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Ah well Raven, at least he finally realized he'd been bashing you pointlessly... but then again he said he read your fic and bashed that so *shrug* How pathetically amusing

01-18-2006, 11:41 PM
you have to give it too the Gryf..i mean Vorlon...He stick with it and goes at it over and over again..

01-19-2006, 12:02 AM
you have to give it too the Gryf..i mean Vorlon...He stick with it and goes at it over and over again..

Aye, but I think at this point the horse is past being kicking, past beating, and it's just scrapping the bits of it that are of a jello like quality off your feet

(kicking/beating a dead horse old saying in case that's too vague ) +p

Evil Shnitzel
01-19-2006, 01:35 AM
Wow the man royaly pissed :o
I say its the pressure of engineering work :D
Admins were right in this conflict. Vorlon just got here and started personnaly attack good folks that just suggested to him to improve his vocabulary.
I will still follow his story for I like it very much but the guy just a little aroggant. All the "OMG ist a good story and a fantastic work" got into his head. Reminds you someone, dont he? :D

01-19-2006, 04:05 AM
I recommend that the admins wield their weapon of choice and proceed to beat/stab/slice him up.

Failing that, ban him and his ip address :D