Slytherin Victory

[Giovanni]

Ok guys, in my High School gym class Lacrosse league we had four teams... Each named after a Hogwarts House. I was on the Slytherin team.

We finished the season in last place, but come playoff time there came a dramatic turnaround... Ok we may have gotten just a bit into it (hair temp dyed silver and green with colored hairspray, and green and silver gym clothes) but dammit it was FUN!!! First round our team was playing first seeded Hufflepuff's and down a man because of an absence. But we played anyways, and we played SLYTHERIN STYLE HARDCORE!!! As in Physical, Brutal, and with PRECISION!!! We shut out the 'Puffs 2-0. Then it was time for the second round in the next class. We had to play the #2 seed, the Ravenclaw House Team.

Now this game was an epic... An Epic SLAUGHTER!!! Ravenclaw had posession for all of 5 minute in a 25 minute game. Yours truly had 1 goal and 2 assists and we won the game 3-0. For all their brain power the Ravenclaw team was unable to overcome our cunning cyclical style of offensive play (anyone who plays ice hockey will know what I'm talking about).

Meanwhile the Gryffindor House fell to Hufflepuff 3-1.

After exams are over everyone on the Slytherin team is going out to celebrate our hard earned victory.


And this is what happens when a group of high school Seniors take house pride entirely to seriously.

Just thought you would all like to hear of a Slytherin victory :)

[ShadowedDarkness]

They actually named teams after Harry Potter? Anyway congrats on your win... you had it planned all along didn't you? Make them underestimate you then suprise them when it counts?

[Midknight]

17... lacrosse.... naming the teams after HP houses... while dressed up..

Gio, no offense, but I think it's time I ask Vash to show you the world of internet porn, for the love of all that's holy, I think the entire school you go to needs to get laid multiple times
:mid6

[ShadowedDarkness]

I was under the impression that it was the gym teachers who named the teams... so any problems would lie there.

[Sree]

:shock: Gio...naming the teams after the Harry Potter houses? That's...disturbing.

[Silent]

That is amusing. My high school never had the same teams for more than a day, let alone dyed our hair for the class.

[Midknight]

I was under the impression that it was the gym teachers who named the teams... so any problems would lie there.

even so unless the teacher dressed him in green and silver AND did his hair in the same colors....

[Giovanni]

17... lacrosse.... naming the teams after HP houses... while dressed up..

Gio, no offense, but I think it's time I ask Vash to show you the world of internet porn, for the love of all that's holy, I think the entire school you go to needs to get laid multiple times
:mid6

I wasn't the person who picked out the names... I wanted our name theme to be different alcoholic beverages; but that idea got canned by the teacher so the next most popular one got selected.

As for the introductions to the other more interesting aspects of reality... Giovanni has been introduced to them already.

And it wasn't just me who did it, it was everyone on the team; it was Ashley's idea. Then it was seconded by me, and carried by Joanna and Alex. John and Max thought it was stupid but did it anyway.

Besides Middy :) Your missing the entire point of this; it was fun. I mean really we are only seniors in High School once, we may as well have fun.

[Midknight]

I wasn't the person who picked out the names... I wanted our name theme to be different alcoholic beverages; but that idea got canned by the teacher so the next most popular one got selected.

Ah k Gio gets +10 for the excellent choice.

Besides Middy :) Your missing the entire point of this; it was fun. I mean really we are only seniors in High School once, we may as well have fun.

Aye but to me fun in HS was sex, drinking, parties, etc

[Giovanni]

I'm talking about fun IN school :)


Not "extra-curricular" activities.

Though it appears we have similar tastes in what we consider/considered an appropriate use of weekend time.

[Midknight]

I'm talking about fun IN school :)

Thats no excuse son! At 17 I was banging my girlfriend in the handicap only elevator at our school (we had NO students that used it, most didn't know it was there)

Find one in your school's 2 story building if you have one, stop it in between floors, rip out the fuse in the alarm if you have to, and enjoy!

Also, underneath stair cases is fun and adds to the thrill of being caught. Just avoid the restrooms the teachers go in there to smoke so often it's insane and you will get caught =(

[Giovanni]

LMFAO :)

There are tons of better spots than that in my school b/c the elevator is frequented by lazy janitors...

The tennis courts on the other hand :evil: Just gotta bring a blanket or a sheet.

Actually the funniest one though was one adventurous couple (my friend and his gf) decided to fuck in the Vice Principals office at 2am... They called it their "senior prank", and they video-taped it as proof that they actually did it.

Otherwise people just go to the abandoned 3rd floor where the excess cleaning supplies are kept, you only have to know how to pick a lock; and your in.

Our dances got cancelled/put under ridiculous supervision because at the first one this year 3/4 of the people who came were drunk, and there were people who were having sex on the dancefloor... I thought it was pretty funny; sadly, my schools administration didn't (the assholes).

High school sucks for me though... Is it to much for me to ask for a decent looking girl who has a brain? I mean really, it's ridiculous... Or maybe I am just to damn picky about my minimum requirements.

But anyways SLYTHERIN VICTORY!!! YAY!!!

Tommorrow night we are all going out and partying because all the good parties are on Saturday night :) The best part is, I am now a second semester senior, so I can fuck around in all my classes and it wont matter.

[Xiph0]

Is it to much for me to ask for a decent looking girl who has a brain?


No, but its pretty damn rare for it to happen.

[Spacks]

Best sports to play at school has to be Gaelic Football.

A combination of Soccer and AFL (Australian Football League)

You could tackle anywhere by above the shoulders, multiple people tackles.

In the end, 2 people had broken collarbones and a friend of mine sued the school (I called him a pussy)

[Xiph0]

Best sports to play at school has to be Gaelic Football.

A combination of Soccer and AFL (Australian Football League)

You could tackle anywhere by above the shoulders, multiple people tackles.

In the end, 2 people had broken collarbones and a friend of mine sued the school (I called him a pussy)

Now this I would play. You friend should be ashamed though, sueing schools... I'd a told him to be grateful he's even being educated.

[Spacks]

Yeah, the mum's a money grabber. She'd do anything to get more money.

My friend copped a lot of flak from suing the school too, cos we weren't able to play it anymore.

[Giovanni]

Damn lol Gaelic football sounds like some shit I would want to play...

*Is a recovering rugger... played both back and forward... Second line in the scrum*

Goddamn I wish I had the time for Rugby this year,

[Xiph0]

My friend copped a lot of flak from suing the school too, cos we weren't able to play it anymore.
As he should've gotten, I would have beaten the piss out of any of my friends if they pulled a stupid ass stunt like that.

Yeah, the mum's a money grabber. She'd do anything to get more money.

Bitch should be decapitated, we get this kind in the U.S. all the time. :evil:

[Giovanni]

Seriously, what a fucking pussy.

When I broke my big toe (and part of my foot) last year playing soccer on a bad field did I sue the fucking school? HELL NO!!! I went in to my docs office, got it x-rayed, got some tape and some pain killers, then I went to practice the next day and told my coach it was just a contusion. I played the last 5 weeks of the season like that.

And your friend is such a pussy... Suing his school because he picked a gym class where he KNEW the entire point of the game was to tackle the fuck out of people.

If I were you I would kick his ass.

[Xiph0]

-snip-

Alright, now I feel the need to relay my own break-story. I was chasing a kid trying to get a tiny bit of revenge (shamefully, the kid was atleast half my height) I tripped and broke my leg. One of my friends saw it and helped me to the office. To my credit I didn't cry( I was really young then ) and was just a bit ashamed that something like that went wrong and backfired... :?

Another note: What the hell were you doing playing soccer with a broken toe?

[Giovanni]

I was starting center-mid, or right fullback depending on where they needed me... I even played a few games as right wing.

Basically I would wrap it in about 3/8ths of an inch of tape... It took about 3 inches off of my vertical leap, so I wasn't as effective on headers (I'm 6'1 so it doesnt matter much) and it also made me less sound with my technique, but I made up for it by being a lot more physical.

It also took a bit of distance/power off of my free kicks and corner kicks, but a couple of my friends who knew about it covered for me and took the kicks for me in games.

I remember one of our 1-0 wins their entire team was scared of me by the end of it cause when their most physical (meaning violent cheating scumbag) player tried to take out my friend Chris with a slide-tackle aimed at the side of his knee (coming from the back) I took offense. After he came back on the field (he got a yellow card for the tackle) I made an example out of him... I ran over him :) Then when the dense idiot insulted my (dead) mom I headbutted him on a header instead of the ball. He got a giant gash on his temple and a concussion, I got a small bump on my head :) It was hilarious, he staggered around for like 5 seconds before he fell down, and had to have help getting off the field.

I'm not the biggest person on Earth (6'1, 180 pounds), but I've been playing sports since I was 5, so I know how to use my size. You would be suprised how much wrestling and basketball help you with body positioning/control.

[Xiph0]

Haha, awesome! Given what you've said you should take a martial art, if not a few. A slighter [ 180's a little much but wont hinder you to much, especially given you know how to use it ] build would prob. help you more, but ithe arts will help in the long run, the effects dont fade. Still, didn't it hurt kicking a hard soccer ball with a broken toe? In my expierence broken bones are sensitive to even a slight touch..

[I LOVE GINNY]

Yep, being in karate does indeed help (I've been in for 9 1/2 years.)

[Xiph0]

Yep, being in karate does indeed help (I've been in for 9 1/2 years.)

Wow, good dedication.:cheers:

[I LOVE GINNY]

I was four, hyperactive and hit everything. Apparently karate was the only solution. After a while I started to like it and here I am now, still doing it. Mostly because it's fun to go in there and hit some people every once in a while. :)

[Xiph0]

Mostly because it's fun to go in there and hit some people every once in a while. :)
Haha amen. It offers up a break, and refocus' your mind when you have to actually dedicate it to a difficult task. ( which doesnt happen often :? )

[Giovanni]

Still, didn't it hurt kicking a hard soccer ball with a broken toe? In my expierence broken bones are sensitive to even a slight touch..

It hurts like a bitch, but you just gotta suck it up. It hurts worse in cold weather with a overinflated ball though. Under game conditions it's not so bad though because you've got this killer adrenaline boost.

I never really did karate, my idiot dad would never let me go as a little kid. If he had it his way, I wouldn't of played sports at all either, but he couldn't stop me from playing them while my mom was around, and then he couldn't stop me from playing them because he was to distracted to care. Still wouldn't let me do karate though :(

Then in 7th grade I wanted to play football, but he wouldn't sign the form (I was only 5'2, 98 pounds at the time so its understandable) He did however sign the permission slip for wrestling.

[Silent]

Is it to much for me to ask for a decent looking girl who has a brain?


No, but its pretty damn rare for it to happen.
Actually, what's harder to find is a girl who admits she's smart. I know very intelligent people who play dumb around any and all males. :roll:

[Master Slytherin]

Haha! You guys play football ('soccer')? Excellent! I've played practically all my life. Here in England it's real serious shit.

... I even played a few games as right wing.


I'm right wing! Best position imo as you get lots of space to run into and it's easier to impress with. i.e. I get the ball, bang up the wing and whip it into the box. I'm more of a technical player: speed and skill over brawn but that's mainly due to my build (6'0, 145 pounds).

Do you play club level Gio?

[Giovanni]

I used to, but this year I couldn't due to time constraints. Fucking schoolwork.

Yeah Right Wing is a fun position, and I wouldn't mind playing it again... But I honestly prefer the mid-field because it just suits me better.

Funniest thing that happened was one game we were playing I was at right-mid and I admit it, I got beat; badly. This little asian kid who was like 5'8 145 left me in the dust, so I asked my coach to switch me to sweeper b/c I couldn't defend against him, and our center-mid that day was having a great game... This kid was just to fucking fast for me. So I make the switch and see him making another run down the sidelines with my replacement, and the fullback beaten as well this time. By this point he is roughly 1/3 of the way onto our side of the field (gotta love fast breaks that the opposing team gets when idiots on your team dont play their positions on corners)... He has his eyes on the goal, and doesn't notice me running full speed towards him until I slide in from the side. ALL BALL!!! Thats all my foot hit. He tripped across my leg and was in the air for about 3 feet before landing and sliding another few feet :) Made my fucking day.

Best part was when he started screaming at the ref about how I fouled him. Ref told him it was a legal tackle but he just wouldn't shut up... Ended up getting a red when he started threatening to kill said ref :)

You got any funny stories?

[Master Slytherin]

Many, while calm normally, my dark side comes out in matches.

E.g. I was facing this absolutely massive centre back (when I was playing right centre). I mean he was rugby size. Whenever I tried to weave my way past him, he just barged me to hell and back. Therefore I went for the good ol' Millwall tactic: foul while the ref isn't looking. I gave an elbow to the head and a few 'accidental' trip-ups.

But near the end of the match, when I was practically one-on-one with the keeper, he slid me and ref gave nothing (as we had history: long stoy short, swearing and hand-signs were involved before). So I decided to take it into my own hands. He got the ball and I just went in two-footed studs up to the knee. :twisted: That was the end of his match (and mine). Definitely worth it though.

I've had 4 red cards this season, it's absolutely horrendous. Maybe it's cos I play for Millwall...yeah...that'll be it

[Giovanni]

lol :)

My all-time sports hero was Esa Tikanen (mispelled his name I know)... Little guy, played ice hockey for the NY Rangers. He was amazing, he could do all the little things and never get caught :)

I never did know any shame when I was on the field... When I went off the field and combed my hair during halftime on the sidelines the other team started calling me a homo. So then on a corner kick I started backing up against this one kid on their team who had long blonde hair and I said "hey sunshine lets get together after the game, I got 15 mins before my bus leaves." Right before my friend Keith kicked the ball. Blondie pushed me from behind pretty hard and I took a fairly realistic dive. Meanwhile the ball which would have been just barely to high for me to head had I been standing upright flew past... Then I hear a whistle blow and "PENALTY KICK!"

We got a goal out of it, and blondie got a yellow card :)

Last year was an off year for me though... Only 2 reds and a handful of yellows.

My first red of the year came when I went after a kid on the other team. He was picking on our smaller guys, and fouling the hell out of them when no one was looking. My coach told me to take him out because I had the flu, and wasn't good for any more than a half at the most. First thing I did was a slide tackle in the back of the calf with my sharpened cleats and tore up his leg He got pissed off, I got a yellow. Then I got put back in the game and I knew I couldn't fail again... Trying to hurt him wasn't going to work, so I did the next best thing; I punched him in the face when the ref wasn't looking. He was my height but outweighed my by about 35 pounds of muscle/fat. The refs didn't see my punch, but they damn well saw his, then before he could get another one in I tackled him and got about a dozen decent hits in before they managed to haul me off him. He got a red for his one punch, not that he was in any condition to play after that (black eye and bruised ribs). I got a red, and a fat lip.

It was worth it though, we won that game 2-1 in overtime.

So how have you gotten your reds?

[Master Slytherin]

Of the other three:

2 were two yellows (slide tackles, arguing with ref etc) and one was a straight red (slide on the keeper).

-On a side note, count me out of that reporting 'War on ff.net' thing. Now that I'm fully awake, it doesn't seem such a good idea. I woul post it in the appropriate thread but it's locked.

[Tobang]

Im not sure what this topic is about anymore but im just assuming its sports stories, but that’s good because I have a whole bunch of extremely graphic sports stories for you reading pleasure.

You see, unlike most of you flat landers I’m an avid down hill skier. I am also a register national ski patroller. Being part of the NSP has three major benefits.

A) Good Life skills (knowing emergency care techniques can be extremely useful when you least expect them to be.)
B) Get to ski almost anywhere for free (sure you have to work, but its fun work)
C) Get to see some of the most wicked injuries in the world. (Broken bones, dislocations, heart attacks, hypoxia, frost bite, people getting their thumbs cut off (good story there))

I have some of the greatest goriest stories you will ever hear, not counting any war vetrains(I have only been a ski patroller for two seasons but my father has been one for 26 years). If you guys ever notice that my humor tends to go slightly morbid at times now you know why.

[Giovanni]

Please Share :)

[Master Slytherin]

yes, enlighten us.

[IndoGhost]

Ohh..now I'm very intrested in the story tobang...so start shareing

[Tobang]

I was at a smaller area in the mid west called Buck hill and I got a call form the operator (who sounds like he’s about to pass out) that some girl just got her thumb stuck in the lift. Ok….so I get over there expecting to see some girl with a crushed thumb. I had to cross-country it up to the tubing part of the hill, and in alpine ski’s going cross-country style takes a lot of effort.

So by the time I get there I see a small crowd of people around something that’s making noises just like a girl screaming in pain. Making a general assumption that that’s where my patient is I go over there and tell the people to give me room. (I was the first ski patrol on scene.)

I see a girl clutching her hand to her stomach, and she is WAILING. Her voice went a few decibels higher then I thought a human voice was capable of going. Quickly taking the scene in I notice that there is a discarded glove nearby that is missing a thumb slot and is covered in blood. I also notice that she herself is covered in blood.

Well first things first check ABC’s.

Airway-With the way she is screaming I wish she had an airway obstruction. Check.
Breathing-She takes a deep shuddering breath and continues her wail. Check.
Circulation-Blood is leaking out from were she is clutching her hand like a fountain. Check.

Next, prioritize her injuries. Well since she doesn’t have an airway obstruction and seems to be breathing next thing on the list is bleeding. And she definitely seems to be bleeding.

Concluding that the first thing I’m to do is expose the injury and stop the bleeding I pull out some rubber gloves and put them on, time to get close and personal, I just wish I would of brought some ear plugs. After I give her the standard introduction (Hello my name is Donny Lappen and I’m with the Buck Hill Ski-patrol, is there anything I can help you with today) I don’t even wait for her to reply before I bend down and ask her to show me her hand.

Like I said before I was expecting a crushed thumb or a clipped tip at worst. Nope, she tore her thumb off, down to the second joint. I quickly tell the lift operator to call the cops and get them to send an ambulance down here stat with all their bells and whistles blowing.

Five minutes later her hand resembles something like a baseball, and I just sent the girl out on the back of a snowmobile to take her to her own personal $800 ambulance ride. Plus I have now just gotten blood on my snow pants again. I hate having to bleach them, they smell like bleach for weeks after I do that. Next priority on the list…find the thumb.

Asking the lift operator what happened and where he thinks the thumb is. Im not sure how much you guys know about ski lifts but ill give you a basic idea. Two wheels spin one at the top of the hill one at the bottom. There is a thick metal cord between these two wheels that has several tons (several thousand stones for you crazy British people out there) of tension on it. The cord goes in a circle between the two spinning wheels dragging you up with it.

Apparently this girl accidentally tubed under the lifts spinning wheels and while under there she somehow got he thumb stuck between the lift line and the spinning wheel, remember several tons of pressure on the rope, the lift didn’t even blip, it tore her thumb right off. Well luckily for me the guy stopped the lift fairly quickly after he heard the screaming and I only had to go up the lift like 5 feet to see the crushed thumb stuck to the rope.

The thing was absolutely flattened but I still had to scrape it into a bag to send off with the ambulance. That girl will forever be known as the girl who can’t play thumbs up seven up, the girl who is half way there to being like every other mammal in the mammalian kingdom besides humans and monkeys that don’t have opposable thumbs.

[Xiph0]

Hahahhaha shit man, I'dda had to left (if I was in the crowd). Thats brilliant!

[Tobang]

Aww, the freedom of apathy. I have been around the stuff for so long that i have been totally desensitized to it. My father has been a ski patroller since forever, and I have seen him deal with countless injures. I specifically remember being 8 years old and watching my father as he tried to transport a guy who had just lost control and ran into a picnic table. He hit the seat first with his shins, broke both his tibias and fibulas, then went flying forward and hit the table edge with his thighs, broke both his femurs. He died.

[Giovanni]

Ouch.

I am fine with my own blood/injuries... But other peoples are just nasty to me for some reason.

For example:

I dislocated my knee cap and had it reset itself about 1.5 inches lower than where it should have been. Painful as all hell and looked nasty to boot; but I was fine looking at it... Even wrestled most of the season on it.

On the other hand, one day in soccer practice the year before a friend of mine got a little to enthusiasic when he was running, tripped, and somehow broke his wrist/forearm in like 4 different places. I couldn't look at it.

Why is this?

But seriously, his arm was crazy... Elbow bent the wrong way, wrist dangling, and forearm.... well I cant really do it justice with a description.

I will say this though, he was one tough motherfucker... Didn't cry at all, didn't even have his eyes water.... Just sort of looked at it, screamed a few obsceneities, then showed it to the coach who had come over to investigate, and then went to the emergency room.

[Tobang]

Multiple fractures are bad, you have to worry about internal bleeding and nerve damage is likely to happen. Probably why your friend didn’t cry, not to mention he was probably in shock.

I will admit a really bad break is one of the worst things you can see though. Blood obscures things so if your not bothered by blood then you should be fine. But when someone breaks a new hinge or two into their arm....

[Giovanni]

lol, he was rehabbing that thing for the next 8 or 9 months...

It pissed off our wrestling coach because he was *supposed* to be wrestling in the 152 pound weight class that year.

[Xiph0]

I only get nervous around people who are bleeding, but thats mostly from a phobia of screaming, I hate it and fuckers always do it...-_-

[ChuckDaTruck]

Hmmm, Was I the only one who read the House Names and thought, "COOL!"

I really did. Maybe I need help.


Anyway, High School was okay for me. Didn't get much action mostly for two reasons, A.) Picky and B.) If I find a girl I like I seem to act like an idiot.

Example, I can juggle. One trick I can do this thing where I spin two snapple bottles in my hands using only my finger-tips as they spin through the air. I'm not brilliant, but most people can't do it, and it looks cool.


I try to do it in front of a girl I liked, both smashed on the ground soaking her good shoes (consequently ruined) and leaving glass everywhere.


I was a decent enough guy though. I helped people if they got sick at parties had some good friends and felt a few girls up along the way, I ain't got much to complain about.

[Giovanni]

Heh :)

Way to make an ass out of yourself Chucky :)

[UnholyWarlord]

I haven't any bloody injureis. I just been sick to the point of complete non-movement.

[LINKed up]

I've bleed from my head twice. First, fell from a ladder on to concrete. Second, got hit with a backpack in the head that had one of those mini-clairient-thingys called recorders.