So, the human body, while amazing, is also a bit crap. A brief discussion in IRC showed a group of us how many ways we could come up with to improve the thing.

You might have some ideas of your own. Post them here, and discuss them. (Don't take it too seriously though. This is just for fun).

Here's some of mine...


Carbon nanotube bones. Super-strong and light. Possibly keep normal bone and just have carbon nanotube fibres to reinforce the natural bone (bone, after all, has other important functions in the immune system).

White blood cells which attack pathogens with heat/tiny lasers.

A new sub-cellular organelle, written into human DNA, which produces organically made nanites for various functions, mainly enhancement of physical abilities and the immune system, tissue regeneration, and neutralisation of toxic substances. And transport of substances. And the elimination of the effects of aging.

The ability to grow and maintain muscle without having to exercise for it.

We're probably going to need a fair amount of new energy for these processes. We could just eat a lot more, OR... let's get rid of mitochondria entirely, and replace them sub-cellular organic fusion reactors.

Which means we'll probably need a new organ for turning water into deuterium.

But that's okay, because we won't need so much digestive system any more. We'll put it there. Our diet will change a lot given such a drastic change in energy generation. Don't really need sugar anymore, just water.

And while we're at it, let's just get rid of the anus and lower bowel entirely, and make the human body 100% waste efficient.

Now, let's talk nervous system. Let's write into our DNA a little organic quantum computer to run side by side with our brain, that we can access mentally. That's handy.

Eidetic memory. That'll be nice.

Wi-fi. We should all have wi-fi, since we all have quantum computers. We can communicate and transfer data to each other mentally, and over good distances. We'd need a properly good hardware firewall to prevent people hi-jacking each other though. And to block spam. After all, we'd be able to make a kind of mental internet.

We can also use this computer to monitor and control many of our body's functions, and to write new functions in.

Visible light is such a small spectrum. Let's give ourselves new sensory organs for the other parts of the electro-magnetic spectrum, eh? And a new part of the brain to process it all. And while we're on the senses, let's just enhance them all, a bit.

The ability to harden our skin would be nice. Make us a bit safer in dangerous situations.

Gills (hidden so they don't make us look nasty) to allow us to breathe underwater.

All this stuff is going to take up some space. If we just jam it in all over the place, there are going to be bulges. So let's just scale ourselves up, to fit it all in but maintain our proportions. Also it'll be nice to be able to punch out a lion with this size.

The ability to control hair growth by willpower alone.

A distributed secondary CNS, a set of back-ups if you will, so that if brain damage occurs we can regrow that part of the brain from the back-up, with little loss of information.

A second heart. We'll probably need one, with our bigger size.

Well, that's all I've got, for now.

I leave you with this quote:

I don’t want to be human! I want to see gamma rays, I want to hear X-rays, and I want to smell dark matter. Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can’t even express these things properly because I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language. But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. I’m a machine and I could know much more.

 

An internal echolocation producer/receiver which then routes what is "sees" to your eyes if they are receiving less than a certain amount of light for night vision?

 

a self-inflating, one-size-fits-all, spinning, vibrating penis would be a nice add-on. Or conversely, a fully functional vagina for women who might like to enjoy vaginal intercourse on par with the males of the species

As is the Culture, an endocrine system capable of glanding chemicals directly into the bloodstream, at the user's will.

Not so sure Taure about the nuclear cells and the elimination of the bowels. Taking a shit is the only moment of peace that many men get. Plus, secreting nuclear waste might be more onerous than the alternative.

How about if we just have fully-humanoid, idealized android bodies with a hardened bunker in the chest to house our grey cells and the nanites could constantly replicate our brain cells and neural pathways. Some sort of memory back-up would also be good. Also, no self-respecting android body would be complete without some sort of flight capacity, so a built-in jetpack is a must.

 

Make the joints stronger and more flexible so that the body can perform feats that would normally injure the body. Also stronger tendons so that they can't be cut or torn. Also minor regenerative capabilities so that minor wounds could be healed without scaring.

 

Some testicle armour would be nice to have, very nice in fact.

 

I give you (almost) exactly what you describe!



Also, the ability to grow new organs over the space of a few weeks would be insanely useful. As would tendons the same tensile strength as spider webs.

 

The ability to at will forget you ever saw something. Built-in brain bleach, if you will.

Also, being able to fire lazah from your eyes.

 

1. Myostatin and adrenal control
2. Perfect respiratory system.
3. Eliminate the need lactic acid production (Seriously. Fuck lactic acid buildup).
4. Perfect, consistent cell regeneration after reaching full maturation.
5. A mental "on/off" rest switch, plus mental timer: No waiting to fall asleep, no wake up ritual/shower/coffee needed. Certain code words or mentally-designated sounds (fire alarm, baby crying, breaking glass, etc) would override an otherwise completely uninterruptible sleep.
6. A mental "on/off" switch for pain (and pleasure) receptors.
7. Mental link and control (to an extent) over one's sired children until age 13: no endless crying, no temper tantrums. Know when baby is hungry/thirsty/dirty diaper/etc. No running into busy roads, no talking to strangers, etc.

 

No, fuck this, this is just asking to be exploited by abusive dickwads.

 

Why not ad the ability to regenerate, or to travel trough time and space? Or wait is it cyberman or timelords you're trying to create?

 

Now that would just be ridiculous.

(Also, I don't watch Dr. Who).

 

That's an idea, a gland that produces a chemical that combusts upon contact with air, and all the necessary protections for the area that emits it.

 

How about static shock generators, like in eels? So I can shoot lightning.

 

Trust me, you do *not* want to date that girl...

Hagrid: "Been there, done tha'"

 

Fusion reaction doesn't require oxygen, and as such, there would be no need to breathe.

Of course, logic doesn't really add anything into this conversation...

 

I come in here expecting a thread on cutting-edge bodymodding and instead I get this wish-fulfillment softest-of-soft sci-fi bullshit? Come the fuck on, guys. How about some DIY RFID? Wireless cameras in your false eye? Implantable wiring? Subdermal anesthesiac implants? Mermaid prosthetics? Orgasm chips? Batteries powered off the movement of your body? Genetic doping in sports? Transmitting information through your skin? Freakishly literal Bluetooth? Hooking your nerve endings up to the fucking internet?

But instead, you fuckers talk about boring, unoriginal, impossible bullshit. Just because it's not like fucking Star Trek doesn't mean we aren't already in the future, you unappreciative fucking peasants. Stop bitching about how you haven't got your flying fucking car and enjoy what we actually do have.

 

I'm not going to stop bitching till I can shoot fucking laser beams from my eyes.

 

Come back to me when you've had to deal with that kid that just won't stop cryyyying, because your herp derp uncle is in over his head and knows dick-all about lulling a child back to sleep. Or the brat who's the embodiement of "Ooo shiny things me go touch!" while being completely oblivious to...well...everything. Maybe 10 years old is a bit much, but being able to shoot a mental "shut up," "don't touch," or "don't run," while still being able to accomodate the sweet little hellion by knowing exactly what s/he wants, would be so legit.

And fuck your lasers D8

Yeah, well, whatever, man. Out of mine, I think the first five could be achieved via drug- or genetic advances.

...I mean, I'm not talking about making my poo-hole disappear...

 

Say that in 100 years.