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WIP Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle by Inverarity - K+

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ray243, Jun 23, 2009.

  1. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    I love how good Alex is getting at fighting and magic...though I feel like her encounter with the wolves isn't perfectly logical...she figures out that deadweight charms are good at slowing the wolves down...but she only casts them a few times, when she could just as easily cast so many on each wolf that they'd cease to be a huge threat.
    EDIT:
    I reread the chapter and she does try out the deadweight spells a few times. So I retract this point.

    Also, Alex is so ridiculous about saving people that its starting to grate. its consistent, but I'm starting to wish that she'd become a bit more ruthless. She just witnessed a bunch of wizards kill a witch, just to free some werewolves to wreak havoc, and she still feel pity? That's stretching my disbelief a bit much. YMMV, I guess.

    I also don't really like it when werewolves are made out to be so fearsome...three animagi (Sirius-dog, James-stag, Peter-rat) were able to contain one (Lupin) with little problem in canon. I've always just thought of werewolves in HP as simply rabid wolves...dangerous to a muggle...but not much to blink at if you're a wizard with a wand who's not an idiot and not too close (distance-wise) to one. It sucks to be one, and get bit by one, but they're really not too dangerous. But this is an AU story, so I'm really complaining about something inconsequential.
    Great chapter, great story, can't wait to read more.
    5/5
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2012
  2. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    People wouldn't be so afraid of werewolves if they weren't so difficult to contain. There'd be no need for the Wolvesbane potion if you could just stun them.
     
  3. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    True. For someone who's competent. But most wizards in Britain, at least, can't cast shield spells (as seen in the huge success of the hats Fred/George sell), so being unable to cast stunning spells isn't to hard to imagine.
    Which is why werewolves might be scary to wizards who can't cast stunning spells-- they get bitten, and there's nothing magical to be done about the fact that every month of their lives they go crazy for a few nights (and are sick the preceeding days) and lose themselves.
    Of course, this is an AU, like I edited into my comment , so whatever argument we have over this is kinda irrelevant.
     
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I really, really liked this chapter. Fight was fantastic. Plus I liked the conversation she had with Henry in his truck. It tied off nicely. Great character in Johnny too, enjoyed him.

    Best chapter in a while!

    edit:. Garden, about the shield spell hats... Maybe I am wrong but I thought the purpose was to block a sneak attack and buy you time. I never had the impression that wizards could not cast it themselves.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2012
  5. Meneldur

    Meneldur Third Year

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    Yes, it was an excellent chapter. The fight scene was quite good. Johnny is simply amazing, fighting and aiding Alexandra as much as he could. He's the only male so far I would consider as a pairing for Alexandra so far.

    The conversation with Henry was also very good. I liked how he managed not to actually apologize but still acknowledge the help she did bring. And I got the feeling that Alexandra herself knew she had gotten in over her head and had learned her lesson.
     
  6. ray243

    ray243 Seventh Year

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    It is amazing how fast Alexandra has developed into such a strong witch, but at a believable pace.

    If her duelling skills continue to develop, I could actually believe that she can stand up against Bellatrix and co. by the time she is 17.
     
  7. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    Yeah Alex is getting really good at dueling. The impression I got was that John Manuelito only managed to get away because Alex had to protect Johnny and Tricia from his spells. And John Manuelito is absolutely no pushover. I can see her getting very skilled at dueling in a few years. Right now she's still not not on the level of Diana Grimm, but she's getting there. Give her some time.
    Great chapter, great fight, nice use of spells by Alex, especially the Deadweight spell she casts on Jonny. Wouldn't of thought of that one on my own, tbh.
    Can't wait for more...
     
  8. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    First off, Diana first says that the "cat" is her sister when she slaps Alex. Not much later she says that she is not her sister, because of the circumstances.

    That might be intentional, and ot sort of works, but thought I would point it out just in case. I do see how/why it could be intended though, just not sure.

    Nice job on the realistic memories too.
     
  9. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Awesome chapter, as always. Seemed to speed by a lot faster than usual.
     
  10. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    In reading this latest chapter and Alex's most recent conversation, I've come to a thought: Alex's mom may have been the U.S. version of Bellatrix Lestrange, and bringing her back to sanity may be the worst idea imaginable.

    Hecate's described as aggressive and lacking sentimentality. The Grimms compare Alex to her usually when she's being most defiant, adolescent and annoying. There's a hole in the story between Thorn saying 'I didn't do it', and Diana saying 'we didn't do it' that suggests Hecate did a big, bad thing that went badly in a big way.

    This might also explain why anyone who knows Alex's background is expecting her to jump on the crazy train in due time. Shirtliffe probably hopes that the JROC discipline might give Alex the self-control necessary to leash her rampaging nature. The rest are merely hoping to keep her skills in a manageable range.

    On the idea of Johnny from Dinetah being a good match-up for her... maybe if she gave up, changed her name and moved to the Res, it might work, but Alex's best partner still seems to be Anna. I wouldn't be surprised if she loses her virginity to David as a friendly thing, but I don't think that will ever be covered or brought up in these stories, and the tale is stronger for it.
     
  11. Sooner90

    Sooner90 Groundskeeper

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    I keep thinking that Hecate's memory loss is in some way related to the fidelius. What if she hid her memories with the charm and then something happened to the secret keeper that made them impossible to recover? Is this plausible/probable?

    If so, then methinks I see a quest developing where Alex has to find the Secret Keeper....

    And now for something completely different. I would really like to see more of the Ozarks and hear about their lore. Hopefully a trip by Alex is in the offing.
     
  12. Meneldur

    Meneldur Third Year

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    Wordhammer makes very good points. Personally, I don't think you can compare Hecate to Bella, since A) we don't know of any actual crimes she committed, and B) Abraham is most definitely not Voldemort. But in the general sense, yes. Hecate may be the kind of utterly ruthless, completely devoted witch who would do anything Abraham asked her.
    So it may be a bad idea to bring her back... but I will point out that she seems to have had no desire to kill her kin like Bella did (or is assumed ot have), even though one was actively chasing her and the man she was devoted to. Also, she actually seems to have loved - she was not just devoted to Abraham, she also loved him, and all agree she fiercely loved Alexandra. So... she's probably nowhere near as bad as Bellatrix.

    Also, on Johnny being a pairing for Alexandra, I totally ship Alex/Anna. My comment "He's the only male so far I would consider as a pairing for Alexandra so far" was mainly meant to point out the lack of male characters worthy/appropriate for Alexandra. Although I do believe she will meet Johnny again, and some sparks might fly.
     
  13. Arrowjoe

    Arrowjoe Auror

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    Suddenly a shipping debate on one of the least ship-y stories I've ever read. Maybe it's because Alex seems almost asexual but I've never really thought of any of the characters really working with her.

    I don't think this is in the cards (barring a drunken mistake on the characters part), since I still believe David's nursing a major crush on Constance. Althou Inverarity seems hell-bent on throwing us off that track, given David and Anna's behavior this chapter.
     
  14. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    So, just powered through all stories and I have to say, I absolutely love them. Love the characters, love the worldbuilding, love the dialogue, love the plot, I love everything about the story.

    A few minor nitpicks probably would be the overuse of the Cruciatus Curse. For a spell that would result in a life sentence in prison, people are awfully casual about throwing that around. Then, while not bad, I am not so sure on how to feel about the familiar relations that Alex has. But it makes for a very captivated reading, so I can't complain too much, I suppose.

    As to the shipping debate, I can see this easily ending without a major romance on Alexandra's part and that would be perfectly fine with the story but if there is something going to happen, Anna really seems to be the best suited and most obvious choice in that regards. All their interactions could easily be interpreted that way and it would have a well build founding. The only thing that really stops me from being "too" enthusiastic about it is the stigma of "bisexual/lesbian action girl" even though, I think it would be unfair to characterize it like that if that were to happen.

    So, overall, easily a 5/5, one of the best stories of fanfiction I have read and even among my most favorite things I have ever read in general.

    Would be ironic if there was a ninth Thorn child on the way, or already alive. Abraham certainly doesn't have any qualms about marrying/loving other women and while his exile might have made that difficult, I find it hard to believe that he doesn't have another wife and child, either in America or in Europe.

    That said, do you guys think that his large number of children is simply due to "infidelity" (which seems to run in the family) or if there is another purpose behind it. (other then getting other family assets for his own cause). Not necessary a dark "gonna use my children for magic" stuff but still, a bigger purpose behind it.

    It seems awfully fishy and simply ill thought that a man, who knew he was going to risk so much, would produce such a large family, all of which can and are used against him. And he doesn't seem like the type of guy who gets blinded by love.
     
  15. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    Good chapter. Funny moments in the ball scene, but then what Anna and David reveal....
    damn.
    Can't wait for more.
     
  16. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Good stuff again on the last two chapters!
     
  17. LittleBlackGoldfish

    LittleBlackGoldfish Third Year

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    After what was revealed, I think it makes Claudia's overall behavior much more understandable.

    I have no clue how the fuck Alexandra is going to react though. I mean...jesus.
     
  18. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Oops.

    Seems we all dropped the ball on that one.
     
  19. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Sexytime? Alex is more willing than expected to discuss "it" and the possibility of "it" with her friends (Sonja and Anna), even if not in detail.

    Looking forward to the next chapter though.

    This chapter felt longer than the others (though no idea if it actually was or not). Good stuff, especially the bits in the forest with the thing that appears to have followed her.
     
  20. ray243

    ray243 Seventh Year

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    Having sex at the age of 14? That's way too young!