Because I'm going to finish this reread, goddammit.

Dick move, Sirius. Understandable that you'd be pissed, but still a dick move.

You can resign from the Wizengamot, apparently. And they have something called "elders" - official function or not, who knows?

This book is honestly what made me lose quite a bit of respect for McGonagall. I get that Harry needs to not make as much of a fuss, but Jesus Christ, woman, stop piling more shit on him! She can't even follow her own advice, considering she's extremely rude to Umbridge right after this.

The Hufflepuff is Susan Bones. Nice to have a list of everyone in the DA, I suppose.
Also every fanfiction I've read has Susan feature a balcony to be proud about. The fact no massive norks are ever mentioned is what really makes you realize this series was written by a (straight?) woman.

And so begins the long and storied career of Ginny Wealsey as the school bicycle.

Antidote to Butterbeer? So some sort of Hangover Potion, like is common in fanon?

Amazing idea, Ginny!

Interesting. Goblins mint the gold.

 

I always took it to mean that they where the oldest people there and not that they had a function. I mean ages aren't given but we know Dumbledore is over one hundred years old and that Griselda was his OWL tester so she must be pretty old.

Of course this could also be Rowling screwing with her math as well.

 

This kinda goes back to my earlier observation in the GoF threads, that wizard "power levels" are very different from what fanon portrays them to be, since it distinctly mentions that Harry, as a 14 year old, could do stuff that adults and leading Durmstrang graduates couldn't do. Or maybe there's a bit of a hole in the Durmstrang curriculum.

Heliopaths sound very much like Fiendfyre.

Everyone who says that Harry is an average wizard needs to read this passage. He could do the Disarming spell easily in second year, yet here you have fifth and sixth years who can't, which, again, tells you a lot about the average "power levels". Molly couldn't even handle what she knew in advance was a boggart.

 

I find that a bit hard to believe, when exactly did Krum ever see Harry actually do any spells? There was the first task maybe he is talking about the summoning charm but we don't even know if it is anything special to summon anything that far away and nobody seemed to comment on it. The only impressive spell Harry knows is the patronus which he didn't see. And if you consider Pottermore canon instead of a shameless retcon your average African kid can turn into a animagus or use wandless magic.

Ron and Hermione didn't seem to have any problems with the spell either since they could do it easily enough in third year and they don't have a particular talent in DADA. I think the general consensus is that Harry is a average wizard with a talent for DADA. Besides you have to remember that they didn't have the best DADA teachers around and Harry seems to specifically picked up the spell from Snapes duelling club.

The Molly part also seems unfair since it was more about her not being emotionally capable to deal with the situation instead of a lack of skill because as much as anyone wants to deny it canon wise Molly would beat Harry with a hand behind her back.

 

It's a fact, even if we don't know the details of it. I doubt Hermione just lied about it to cheer him up - and the books don't actually show us everything that happens. And I do consider Ron and Hermione much above average in DADA as well. Simply because they, like Harry, actually practiced the spells, while others didn't. Even if they were in the "duelling club" just like him. The point I'm trying to make is that Harry is much more able than the average wizard, which this passage easily demonstrates.

As to Molly, emotion is a big part of magic. Harry's ability to resist the despair in the presence of dementors is what makes his patronus particularly outstanding, and it's the same with boggarts - these creatures' power is mostly magically induced fear. Again, the end result is that he is more able. And no, I don't think she would, though we don't know much about her skills.

 

Chapter 14: Percy and Padfoot

In my edition, this chapter starts on page 251. That's more pages than the entirety of Philosophers Stone. Just because you lampshade it doesn't mean it's ok, JKR!

But it takes him a further three minutes to actually say "Hey guys, we've screwed up," by which point she's nearly bled out. Arsehole.

A few years ago, we had a thread challenging us to make a character awesome, and I wrote a post about Percy. Shame canon pisses on it. What a twat.

You've spoken to her once, Ron.

Dude.

Chapter 15: The Hogwarts High Inquisitor

I'd ask how people could be taken in by such horrendously unsubtle bias, but then I remember Fox News and Donald Trump.

She's not wrong, to be fair, between the centaurs and the probability of a stress induced aneurysm.

That doesn't sound that unreasonable, actually. Doesn't mean they aren't useful, but still.

I'd quite like to quote this in its entirety, because it's just that awesome.

When Ron knows you're being an idiot...

Chapter 16: In The Hog's Head

Shades of Percy.

Potential break off point for a fanfic: Umbridge finds his Hogsmeade permission slip, while looking for something to hold over him, and now has proof that he's associating with Sirius.

Evil, depressing, soul-sucking monsters...

Yeah, she's not Neville, come on! Also, she does. Admittedly in a room that Umbridge doesn't know about/can't access without permission of someone already in there (I think? This might be fanon creeping in) but still.

Clearly the hurt feelings of his one true love.

Chapter 17: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four

Women are so fickle.

Well, that's pretty disgusting.

This is actually a really unsettling image.

Chapter 18: Dumbledore's Army

For all that she's positioned as the most emotionally mature and reasonable one - in this book, at least - she really is shit at broaching delicate topics of discussion.

Surely other people have noticed something by now?

Entirely co-incidental, I'm sure...cock-blocked by his future wife.

Because of the brother wand thing, but never mind.

Chapter 19: The Lion and the Serpent

Isn't fanon!Draco famous for his dry, hilarious wit? How'd that happen again?

 

Most people in the fanfiction community read much more fanfiction than the books. But that's exactly why rereading are so important.

By the way, it's not exactly an isolated incident. I can think of at least three other times he attempted slapstick.