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Old Yesterday, 09:50 AM   #661
Hush
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That's not very good relationship when any disagreement beyond "yes dear" leads to anger now, is it?

I mean it's quite telling, that someone talks about "picking battles" when talking about relationships, but in my experience, you don't get to point where disagreement might lead to anything beyond [heated] discussion—you'd probably break the relationship off sooner than that. I mean, many - if bad - authors write the relationships as constant domination battle, where Harry is usually the more submissive partner, and using many (bad) humour tropes as 'sleeping on sofa', girls yelling full names, 'yes dears' as a normal state of relationship.

It might be cultural, though.
Are you saying that you've never fundamentally disagreed with someone about something they're intensely passionate about? Yet, at the same time, not really cared about the issue. In cases such as this, sometimes it's best to not bother creating tension.

The example you gave is a lazy, overused relationship trope. But the purpose and meaning behind it isn't always complete garbage. Being deliberately antagonistic in any kind of relationship is just as unhealthy.
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 AM   #662
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hush View Post
Are you saying that you've never fundamentally disagreed with someone about something they're intensely passionate about? Yet, at the same time, not really cared about the issue. In cases such as this, sometimes it's best to not bother creating tension.

The example you gave is a lazy, overused relationship trope. But the purpose and meaning behind it isn't always complete garbage. Being deliberately antagonistic in any kind of relationship is just as unhealthy.
My guess is that @James just has a problem with the semantics. The "picking battles" phrase isn't exactly the best choice of words. It just makes the relationship sound like an unhealthy warzone that isn't beneficial to either partner.
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Old Yesterday, 10:05 AM   #663
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hush View Post
Are you saying that you've never fundamentally disagreed with someone about something they're intensely passionate about? Yet, at the same time, not really cared about the issue. In cases such as this, sometimes it's best to not bother creating tension.

The example you gave is a lazy, overused relationship trope. But the purpose and meaning behind it isn't always complete garbage. Being deliberately antagonistic in any kind of relationship is just as unhealthy.
The example I gave is might be lazy, overused trope, but it's also what set off my Pet Peeve half-rant.

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My guess is that @James just has a problem with the semantics. The "picking battles" phrase isn't exactly the best choice of words. It just makes the relationship sound like an unhealthy warzone that isn't beneficial to either partner.
And yes, that's a big part of it.
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Old Yesterday, 12:06 PM   #664
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It's a pretty common turn of phrase, it's not meant to be taken literally... same ways as if I said I caught you red handed, it doesn't mean that I caught you with blood on your hands. I am genuinely surprised that the semantics of this came up.

Also by "The example you gave is a lazy, overused relationship trope." I meant that the author is being lazy, and meant to imply that it's a totally reasonable pet peeve to have. I don't think that came across well based on your response.

Edit: ... My bad

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Old Yesterday, 01:22 PM   #665
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@Hush

Turn of phrase, just so no one here has to add it to their peeves.
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Old Yesterday, 01:27 PM   #666
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Also by "The example you gave is a lazy, overused relationship trope." I meant that the author is being lazy, and meant to imply that it's a totally reasonable pet peeve to have. I don't think that came across well based on your response.
Ah, yeah, no, it didn't. Sorry 'bout that.
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Old Yesterday, 07:10 PM   #667
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One that I see every so often. A part and apart.

A part being one piece of something and apart being separated.
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Old Yesterday, 09:51 PM   #668
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Why? Do you go on one knee, when proposing, saying "Here's my ring and here are my balls, my dear. Will you marry me?"
No, but there is such a thing as submitting to one another in love. It isn't something only the female is supposed to do.
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 PM   #669
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I always find a story less enjoyable if all of it's content is plot. The reason I love HP is the interaction between characters in a casual sense and utilizing the cool world we find ourselves playing in.
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Old Yesterday, 11:16 PM   #670
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The term "eventual {insert ship here}" in fic summaries. It irks me almost as much them listing multiple Harry tropes and that the fic contains bashing.
I think impatient readers are as much to blame for this as the authors who write it.

Authors include it so the readers can be assured what they want to see will happen eventually, even if it doesn't manifest in the first few chapters, because many of them are too impatient to wait for it to actually develop organically.
Author: This story is HP/FD.

Reader: Where's my Harry/Fleur relationship? It's been a whole two chapters.

Author: But... Harry's name only just came out of the goblet. He doesn't even like her right now, and she sees him as a spotlight-stealing little boy; they certainly aren't feeling any affection for each other yet. Give it time, the H/FD will happen ev-

Reader: Your a lair! You said this was H/Fluer but it's not!

Author: I think you mean, "You're a liar" and "H/Fleur." Look, a believable relationship doesn't happen overnight, and I'm not writing any soul bond jiggery pokery, so you'll just have to have a little patience.

Reader: STFU! Lier.

Author: ... ... Looks like it's time to claim "'Real Life' is hitting me hard, right now." and abandon this account. Maybe I'll make an account at AO3... if they even allow stories that aren't about Credence Barebone being non-consensually sodomized.


Impatient little shits are used to seeing pants drop or fortunes inherited or mysterious powers gained or whatever by the end of the first chapter. When they don't see it, the begging and bitching starts. Really, it's up to the reader to show a little patience, and the author to ignore the impatient ones. In lieu of such fortitude, you get the "eventual" note.

For many people, fast and shallow trumps slow and meaningful every time, especially in a medium where (to be fair to some impatient readers) many of the creators bail out on their creation before it's complete. Many have been trained that if it doesn't happen fast, it won't happen at all.
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Last edited by Warlocke; Yesterday at 11:18 PM.
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Old Today, 06:01 AM   #671
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warlocke View Post
I think impatient readers are as much to blame for this as the authors who write it.

Authors include it so the readers can be assured what they want to see will happen eventually, even if it doesn't manifest in the first few chapters, because many of them are too impatient to wait for it to actually develop organically.
Author: This story is HP/FD.

Reader: Where's my Harry/Fleur relationship? It's been a whole two chapters.

Author: But... Harry's name only just came out of the goblet. He doesn't even like her right now, and she sees him as a spotlight-stealing little boy; they certainly aren't feeling any affection for each other yet. Give it time, the H/FD will happen ev-

Reader: Your a lair! You said this was H/Fluer but it's not!

Author: I think you mean, "You're a liar" and "H/Fleur." Look, a believable relationship doesn't happen overnight, and I'm not writing any soul bond jiggery pokery, so you'll just have to have a little patience.

Reader: STFU! Lier.

Author: ... ... Looks like it's time to claim "'Real Life' is hitting me hard, right now." and abandon this account. Maybe I'll make an account at AO3... if they even allow stories that aren't about Credence Barebone being non-consensually sodomized.


Impatient little shits are used to seeing pants drop or fortunes inherited or mysterious powers gained or whatever by the end of the first chapter. When they don't see it, the begging and bitching starts. Really, it's up to the reader to show a little patience, and the author to ignore the impatient ones. In lieu of such fortitude, you get the "eventual" note.

For many people, fast and shallow trumps slow and meaningful every time, especially in a medium where (to be fair to some impatient readers) many of the creators bail out on their creation before it's complete. Many have been trained that if it doesn't happen fast, it won't happen at all.
I completely understand this point of view. That being said, I haven't read a fic that has "eventual ship" that's been all that good.
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Old Today, 03:37 PM   #672
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One thing I really don't like is what I'd dub an "euphoric tone" - when the protagonist side is portrayed as smarter/better/more knowledgeable etc. than everyone else and this is treated seriously by the author. For Love of Magic is especially bad with this chapter 23 onwards. I stopped reading not long after.
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