Complete - Asylum by The Smiling Shadow - T - The Matrix

[Grimaud]

Title: Asylum
Author: The Smiling Shadow
Rating: T
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
Status: Complete
Library Category: The Matrix
Pairings: Ultimately Neo/OFC
Summary:They're not Neo and Smith. They're Thomas and John. And they are insane. They've spent 5 years in an asylum, together in their white room. Trying to remember what happened to them. Putting it all together. Did it all really happen?
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2106824/1/Asylum

I found this to be an amazingly compelling piece of work, despite being fairly unfamiliar with the Matrix plot/characters. It's incredibly easy to get into the heads of the characters and sympathize with them (even if they are insane [or are they?!!]): that above all is something that I value in a fic. Being able to sympathize with the characters that you're reading about is a truly rare thing.

On the downside, it does seem fairly mundane at first (no actual Matrix type awesomeness at all in the first few chapters). But that is rectified in later chapters, and I found the entire thing interesting at any rate.

Overall this is one of the best non HP fics I've read in a long time. I'd give it a 5/5 but don't trust me, go read it yourself.

[Jester]

It's interesting so far... There is something off about it though. I'd give it a 3. Maybe a 4 if it starts to actually go somewhere soon.

[Dark Minion]

This one needs moar reviews.

At the moment I'd move it into the Recycling Bin. I'll give you another four days (until August 12) to change that.

[Andro]

This is an interesting fic to try and read. I say 'try' because at first it seemed like complete and utter trash, such was the absurd awkwardness and blandness of the writing:

"Are you Morpheus?" Neo looked up at Aaron.

"Yeah, Neo, I'm Morpheus, whatever you say."

Then Neo nodded very obediently and opened his mouth, allowing Morpheus to feed it to him. Then Morpheus put a glass of water in his mouth, and Neo swallowed his red pills without any regret.

"See, it's easy." Aaron turned to Michelle.

Michelle nodded, before quietly walking over to this Smith person. He wasn't like Neo though, he didn't turn his head to look at her, or move or anything. He just sat there, staring at the floor.

"Um...Smith, here are your...blue pills." Michelle leaned down.

"Who is she?" Neo looked over at her.

Michelle looked over at Neo, who had now raised his head, and stared at her with his Brown eyes.

"Her name is Michelle, Neo, she's a new nurse here." Aaron explained.

Neo stared at her for a moment, with a certain confusion in his eyes, a certain desperation staring at Michelle, as if asking her to forgive him. And then he began to shake his head, still staring at her, now with a little happiness.

"Trinity!" Neo yelled.

Michelle stared at him, as he began to smile.

"Trinity! Trinity!" Neo yelled, smiling like a five year old at his mother.

"She's not Trinity."

Smith said that. His voice was demanding and dismissive. He didn't even look over at Neo, he didn't even look at her, he just stared at the floor again.

"Shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! It's Trinity!" Neo continued to yell.

"Neo..." Aaron began.

"Morpheus! It's Trinity! I told you, Smith! I told you she would come for me! I told you!"

But then there was something vaguely well done:

"My name is Michelle, Neo...I don't know who this Trinity is..." Michelle said.

"No!"

Neo stared at her a moment longer.

"You're Trinity! You got to be!" Neo yelled.

"Don't pay any attention to him, Ms. Michelle, now give me my pills." Smith said, looking up at her.

"Excuse me?" Michelle looked over at him.

"Give me my pills, isn't that what you're here to do? Isn't that your purpose?"

But even so, the author isn't skilled enough, and at least can't write Neo, or characters in general.

My diagnosis is that this is a worthwhile idea that deserves a better writer.

In this author's hands, this story rates a 2/5.

[Tasoli]

Well It did drag some in the middle and some parts of it was a little bit off but I would say it is a good example of Almost recommended story not for Library.

3/5 because it kept me entertained for a while.