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Old 05-27-2017, 08:04 PM   #261
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I have been reading this fanfic for almost a year now, is really good in my opinion, but lately, I found that it doesn't catch my attention like it used to do.
I hope, that Shikako will end up with someone. I also think that Sasuke has feelings for her. I can´t wait for Naruto to come back to Konoha.
Would you be able to expand on why it doesnt properly catch your attention anymore?
Is it the pacing? the update rate? 'not enough happening'?

With lately, do you mean after the culmination of the Land of Hot Springs?
Because if so then I would say that is understandable, even if I don't agree with you.

What do you think romance or naruto would bring to the story?

I think that your post could be so much better if you just expanded on your statements.

My point is these unforgiving heartless monsters at dlp doesn't care about what you want just because you want it, neither if you like the story anymore.
They want you to explain why you think the story have become less interesting, and why romance would add to Shikako's character or the story.

Also sadly I am black and boil water, but that is neither here nor there.


Regarding a relationship with Sasuke; I think it is just what Shikako needs at the moment. It would give her an explanation for being absent without having to mention a
 
clandestine porcelain career.


Ofc I am joking here. It would be too out of character for Shikako, hormones or not.
And Shikako wouldn't put Sasuke in such a position for something as benign as getting into anbu.
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Old 05-27-2017, 09:21 PM   #262
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Originally Posted by illya_ View Post
Would you be able to expand on why it doesnt properly catch your attention anymore?
Is it the pacing? the update rate? 'not enough happening'?

With lately, do you mean after the culmination of the Land of Hot Springs?
Because if so then I would say that is understandable, even if I don't agree with you.

What do you think romance or naruto would bring to the story?

I think that your post could be so much better if you just expanded on your statements.

My point is these unforgiving heartless monsters at dlp doesn't care about what you want just because you want it, neither if you like the story anymore.
They want you to explain why you think the story have become less interesting, and why romance would add to Shikako's character or the story.

Also sadly I am black and boil water, but that is neither here nor there.


Regarding a relationship with Sasuke; I think it is just what Shikako needs at the moment. It would give her an explanation for being absent without having to mention a
 
clandestine porcelain career.


Ofc I am joking here. It would be too out of character for Shikako, hormones or not.
And Shikako wouldn't put Sasuke in such a position for something as benign as getting into anbu.
I am sorry that I didn´t expand, English isn´t my first language and sometimes I find difficult to express all my thoughts.
Regarding your questions:
I don´t know how to explain it, maybe is the arc. I just feel like something is missing. I guess, is because I like this kind of fanfic because I can compare the story with canon, and see how this OC is changing this characters, and in this arc, you don´t have that, I still appreciate this original stories, I guess, this why I also want Naruto to come back. I mean, is a different Naruto, a little bit more mature, and it will mean we are following canon again.
About the relationship between Shikako and for the matter, whatever character the author would want, I am just a sucker for love stories, although I really think Sasuke is kinda attracted to Shikako. I just want to see Shikamaru act a little bit overprotective about her sister in a relationship, but I am not hoping for anything like that to happen in the time being, maybe in the future, I can only hope.
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Old 05-28-2017, 06:59 AM   #263
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I have read, or at least tried reading this story many times.

Sometimes I manage to read 30+ chapters, sometimes only one or two.

But I might as well read the manga or watch the anime, that's how big of a canon rehash this story is.

The existence of the MC should have a bigger impact on the universe than it has here.

I'm hesitant to rate this story at all, to be honest.

It's just not exactly my cup of tea, I always disliked canon rehash stories, especially whenever I see the mentality of the main character wanting "to preserve the timeline". Because you just know that it's simply an excuse for the author to be lazy and unoriginal.

After all, why bother taking the story in new and unexpected places when you can simply write a novelization of canon and say you're "preserving the timeline".

It's a common problem in time travel fanfiction and self-insert fanfiction.

It is written well, the author clearly knows how to piece together sentences, but again, what's the point if it's the same as canon?

So, no rating from me.
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Old 05-28-2017, 11:05 AM   #264
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The changes snowball as the story moves on. The more recent arcs have diverged completely.
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Old 05-28-2017, 02:00 PM   #265
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Pretty much what Koalas said. The story does well to pretty much ground the plot of Naruto and builds everything to make sense. and at the start, yeah, her ability to influence things without revealing herself and fucking things over is very limited but as time goes by and her abilities grow, she is able to make more and more changes.

The story deviates pretty hard in some places, many changes subtle, some not so.

 
Haku and Zabuza play roles later on, Karin dies during the chunin exam IIRC and well Sasuke is firmly on Konoha's side at this point and didn't defect


So yeah. It is the canon world but way better explored and with depth. The story earns its changes.
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Old 06-02-2017, 07:53 PM   #266
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Well I enjoyed the recent mini-update in the "Side Stories" fanfic. Perfect example of something that would have bogged down the main story but fleshed out some worldbuilding and whatnot.

Not too often that we get to see Shikako from the POV of 'regular' ninja as opposed to her family or peers.

Also there's just something very "Nara" about how she deals with it. It'd be less paperwork this way, right? So why not just do it this way? Less work = better. Lazy mofos.
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Old 06-03-2017, 03:18 AM   #267
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So, Ive reread parts of DOS since the second Chunin Exam in Grass and here are a few thoughts:

 

- I know there is not going to be any romance since there have been several WoGs of that nature but if there were, Shikako x Ino would be the most likely one. They just seem to have the best dynamic and Shikako kinda acknowledges Ino as an equal in emotional/maturity manners, more so really than any of her peers.

Especially after the kidnapping thing, one of the things that really hurt her was the fact that Ino was nearly as shaken as she was and couldn't provide the support that Shikako required at that point. Interesting thing.


-Did Shikako lose her lightsaber during the Jashin debacle? Because she pulls it out right before she loses consciousness and is strapped to the altar. And after everything that has happened, I don't think either she or the deer picked it up again.

And I think she used it in the Chunin Exam in Grass. So, does that mean Cloud will find the sword there and know Shikako was involved in some way? Not necessarily deduce what happened but enough to blame things on her/Konoha.

Or did I miss Shikako resealing her sword on both reads?

- All but convinced that Shikako will become the heir/leader of the clan at some point. Like 80% sure, if only because she repeatedly mentions how little she wants the job but getting groomed for it anyway by her father. And how she describes leadership positions in the village tend to go to the people who leave things better than they find them, who initiate positive change. Shikamaru would be a good leader and no doubt bring some improvement but that just doesn't compare to anything that Shikako would bring as the leader to the clan. And while some people might be concerned about the brashness of hers right now, I can't help but think that ultimately later on, they would want her to be the leader. Not only will she almost certainly be the stronger shinobi, she will also have interacted with the clan way more. Have better relationships outside the clan as well, connections and all that and a list of achievements that practically dwarf Shikamaru's.

I know she doesn't want it and I don't see a GoT style vying for the throne story taking place. More that Shikamaru and the clan people are going to slap the title on her and she'll be forced to accept.
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Old 06-03-2017, 02:45 PM   #268
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Originally Posted by Nemrut View Post
So, Ive reread parts of DOS since the second Chunin Exam in Grass and here are a few thoughts:

 

- I know there is not going to be any romance since there have been several WoGs of that nature but if there were, Shikako x Ino would be the most likely one. They just seem to have the best dynamic and Shikako kinda acknowledges Ino as an equal in emotional/maturity manners, more so really than any of her peers.

Especially after the kidnapping thing, one of the things that really hurt her was the fact that Ino was nearly as shaken as she was and couldn't provide the support that Shikako required at that point. Interesting thing.


-Did Shikako lose her lightsaber during the Jashin debacle? Because she pulls it out right before she loses consciousness and is strapped to the altar. And after everything that has happened, I don't think either she or the deer picked it up again.

And I think she used it in the Chunin Exam in Grass. So, does that mean Cloud will find the sword there and know Shikako was involved in some way? Not necessarily deduce what happened but enough to blame things on her/Konoha.

Or did I miss Shikako resealing her sword on both reads?

- All but convinced that Shikako will become the heir/leader of the clan at some point. Like 80% sure, if only because she repeatedly mentions how little she wants the job but getting groomed for it anyway by her father. And how she describes leadership positions in the village tend to go to the people who leave things better than they find them, who initiate positive change. Shikamaru would be a good leader and no doubt bring some improvement but that just doesn't compare to anything that Shikako would bring as the leader to the clan. And while some people might be concerned about the brashness of hers right now, I can't help but think that ultimately later on, they would want her to be the leader. Not only will she almost certainly be the stronger shinobi, she will also have interacted with the clan way more. Have better relationships outside the clan as well, connections and all that and a list of achievements that practically dwarf Shikamaru's.

I know she doesn't want it and I don't see a GoT style vying for the throne story taking place. More that Shikamaru and the clan people are going to slap the title on her and she'll be forced to accept.
Thank everything ever for the continued lack of romance. Pretty sure that WoG is also that Shikako is more asexual than anything - just not that interested. I think the author might be as well. So rare to find this done decently in fiction of any kind, fanfiction or regular.

 
Lightsaber.

Not sure if she lost it or not, actually. We might not have been told if she put it up, just as we aren't always told when she puts up her kunai, etc.

But I'd say it's either sealed (and therefore she has it) or it wasn't sealed (and therefore it was destroyed with everything else). I don't see much option for it lying around somewhere to be found. You're right that she used it during the exam.


As for...
 
Clan head? Maybe, though I'm not as sure as you are. Shikamaru is the more traditional Nara and I think would be better for the clan. Shikako might be better for the village, and she might move up to more important village positions than her brother, but I think Shikamaru is going to continue to end up as Clan head.

Though that doesn't mean that Shikako won't have it in an interim capacity or something at some point.

Guess we'll see.
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Old 06-07-2017, 12:39 AM   #269
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-Did Shikako lose her lightsaber during the Jashin debacle? Because she pulls it out right before she loses consciousness and is strapped to the altar. And after everything that has happened, I don't think either she or the deer picked it up again.

And I think she used it in the Chunin Exam in Grass. So, does that mean Cloud will find the sword there and know Shikako was involved in some way? Not necessarily deduce what happened but enough to blame things on her/Konoha.

Or did I miss Shikako resealing her sword on both reads?

- All but convinced that Shikako will become the heir/leader of the clan at some point. Like 80% sure, if only because she repeatedly mentions how little she wants the job but getting groomed for it anyway by her father. And how she describes leadership positions in the village tend to go to the people who leave things better than they find them, who initiate positive change. Shikamaru would be a good leader and no doubt bring some improvement but that just doesn't compare to anything that Shikako would bring as the leader to the clan. And while some people might be concerned about the brashness of hers right now, I can't help but think that ultimately later on, they would want her to be the leader. Not only will she almost certainly be the stronger shinobi, she will also have interacted with the clan way more. Have better relationships outside the clan as well, connections and all that and a list of achievements that practically dwarf Shikamaru's.

I know she doesn't want it and I don't see a GoT style vying for the throne story taking place. More that Shikamaru and the clan people are going to slap the title on her and she'll be forced to accept.

 

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The sound jolted me out of my trance, woke me enough to fumble back to reality. I put my lightsabre away, threw kunai with exploding notes as a distraction. One went off, one didn't, the lightning surged forward a foot and stopped. Unequal, uneven. Unreal.
For the second point, I agree it could go that way. However it would probably feel a little strange as I don't think that individual clan leadership is decided the same way as Jonin. It just feels odd to strip someone of heirship (when they can and probably would do a fantastic job) for someone who might do better.

I do think Shikako is in line for a leadership position though. I just think it's Tsunade who's setting her up for one. Her whole intelligence posting was so vague and seemed to mainly be to get her up to speed on how the Hokage Tower was run. It was a different posting from what anyone else had to do and served the purpose of getting everyone to recognise her. I think Tsunade is grooming her to potentially be next Hokage (or at least help Naruto out for when he becomes one)

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Old 06-12-2017, 02:26 AM   #270
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More plot progression than story in this chapter, but things are happening.
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Old 06-12-2017, 01:30 PM   #271
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Old 06-22-2017, 03:47 AM   #272
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Update.
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Old 06-22-2017, 03:52 AM   #273
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Yeah, loving the ANBU stuff. I've got to say, DoS keeps delivering good stuff again and it's great.
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Old 06-22-2017, 10:01 AM   #274
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I feel the opposite. Not a fan of the ANBU stuff. We never get the impression in Canon that ANBU as a whole is actually all that competent, so it always struck me as weird when a fic decided to take them so seriously. But this chapter had a hint of humor and self parody so I actually liked it.
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Old 06-22-2017, 11:01 AM   #275
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I like it because of how the author is approaching it.

I think too many fanfics imply that ANBU is the badass home of only the most badass ninja. But I prefer that it's not having the BEST fighting skills that gets you in, because that's not what they're about. They're about black ops.

 
So yes. Getting into ANBU does require a baseline of skill. But I suspect it's a baseline that most Chunin could make if they put the effort into it.

The testing they did was implied to be partially customized - when they noticed Shikako did suspiciously well on one part they upped their game directed at her. It's possible that they upped the game on another candidate in a different area. They're deliberately pushing to find limits in part because of the mental component to being pushed past your limits.

And while it's true that the instructors did suffer through it as well it wouldn't have been quite as hard on them, because they probably had a few points where they were standing there giving hand signals while the candidates were reading them and doing 500 pullups at the same time.

So the real purpose then isn't to be the best fighters. It's actually what they said... they exist because Konoha needs ninja that don't exist. Even if their mission might be the equivalent of a C-rank mission to go and pick something up in the next town over. It requires ANBU because it cannot be known that it happened, it can't be seen, etc.

So it ties into canon I think, with what you said about them maybe not being that competent. Because in canon when we saw ANBU it was generally because they were in a fight, and while ANBU have to be 'good' fighters they are probably on average not incredible ones. Canon just didn't give an inside look.

Probably also likely that they have different specializations. Kakashi and Tenzo/Yamato might have been in more combat capable squads. It's mentioned in a previous chapter that sometimes medics are accepted into ANBU and retrained for combat, but I'd guess in most cases they probably never reach jonin-combat skill.

On yet another note... I like how they're actually doing the whole secretive thing. There's a bit of voice modulation, and Shikako is doing her hair differently, but mostly...

...she's taking care not to use signature techniques. It's implied that she's going to continue to keep her sealing a secret in ANBU because it's associated with her specifically. She figures her identity as a Nara will come out at some point, but that's it.

And THAT means that a lot of other ANBU are probably doing it too. Which is another point in the 'don't have to be total badass' column. Because if most ANBU have signature techniques they take care to NOT use on ANBU missions it implies that they don't usually run into too many fights where they are pushed to use absolutely everything in their arsenals.

Naturally I expect that ANBU-Team-Lucky-Sevens will be an exception and end up in deep shit constantly. But that's beside the point.

Oh, and it's cool that when they're out of uniform Shikako outranks Sasuke... and when they're in ANBU garb Sasuke outranks her. I always figured that Naruto would make Chunin first, Shikako the first to Sp. Jonin, and Sasuke the first of them to make Jonin.
That might still be true but even if it's not this sort of feels the same to me, with Sasuke being the first to something prestigious like ANBU Captain.

TL;DR? I like the direction the author is taking the concept of ANBU. It's nothing particularly new but I think it's one of the better interpretations and thankfully not the one I see in most fanfic.
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Old 06-22-2017, 11:06 AM   #276
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It's nothing particularly new but I think it's one of the better interpretations and thankfully not the one I see in most fanfic.
At this point, I think this could serve as a tag line for the fic as a whole, lol.
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Old 07-09-2017, 12:25 AM   #277
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Update.

 
I really enjoyed the banter between Sasuke and Shikako in this one, especially this line:
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"The worst," he repeated, severely. "And since when are you a Sabotage Specialist?"

"It's the official terminology for 'ruins everything I touch'," I shot back. "So. Always."
I'm looking forward to the Mist exam.

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Old 07-09-2017, 01:51 AM   #278
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That feeling of genuine friendship and comeradery that exists between the rookies in general and within the teams in particular is one of the stories greatest strengths.
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Old 07-12-2017, 01:42 AM   #279
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So, after finally having binged through the story, I'd have to say this is a 4/5 for me.

My main issue is that some of the Arcs felt flat out dull to me. Stone of Gelel and Land of the Moon in particular, I had to skim or skip chapters to get through it. The narrative stakes didn't feel...enough to invest me in the action that was going on. I can't really say much for the canon-rehashness of the story since I'm not so well-versed in the canon (I know about the big events, Wave Arc and Pein and such) and haven't actually watched all that much of the show.

However, the parts where the story did stand out for me was when you had these moments of character interaction. Not just among Team 7, but with the SI and her brother, or the Kunoichis. The kinship felt genuine to me, and how those relationships developed was more interesting than the action 90% of the time.
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