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Old 03-25-2010, 06:22 PM   #81
Aekiel
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This story is absurd.

In the author's attempt to introduce LOGIC! and SCIENCE!, he'll almost certainly miss the "logical" part where Dumbledore sifts through the little fuck's mind, figures out what he's nerdgasming about, and reprograms him to simply not think that way. Instead, what's going to happen, is Snape is going to haaate him, Harry's gonna use the "I think of the worst possible scenario lololologicalol" and figure out that Snape reads minds, and learn Occlumency in his magical trunk room. With the time-turner he'll get for his oh-so-fucking-convenient 26-hour sleep cycle.

Fuck this story in the ear.
What the fuck's been wrong with you lately? It's like you've been PMSing for the past fortnight over ever story that's come through here. I check the Review forum every day and I can't remember a single post by you that wasn't something along the lines of 'This sucks giant donkey balls, fuck it all'.

Still, you've got a point on this one. I like the story but so far it's been pretty stale as far as actual plot goes.
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:33 AM   #82
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Based on what? There aren't many examples of Obliviation being used in canon. The closest we get is seeing Lockhart fuck it up, but not much else. You say Hermione erased years of her parents life, but she didn't do that at all - she made them believe they were different people, and made it their lifelong dream to move to Australia. A 17-year-old witch (who is admittedly above average) removed some memories, left others, and implanted false goals into the minds of 2 people. We don't see the mechanics, but that sounds like more than a mindwipe.
No, not really. They were still the same people as far as we know. They just had some memories changed and were being confused into doing something immidiately after the charm was in effect.

And, as i said, this is hermione, someone who don't know what she is doing, and who had to rush. Dumbledore, with his Trauma about his sister, is so going to do that.


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What's to say that Dumbledore can't do that to Harry, whose entire 11 years of life is less than what Hermione manipulated in one of her parents? That signal Harry threatened McGonagall with would be utterly useless if he still remembered everything about it, but suddenly decided he didn't want to take over the world.
First, this wouldn't change Harry, it would just make him re-do his prior reasoning.


Second, it would be really stupid, as Harry would be coming back to his parents unless he wants to forego the blood protection, and that Dumbledore doesn't want to Destroy Harry for the doubtful gain of a Harry that has a more 'Tame' political agenda.

This is a Dumbledore, you know. the one who didn't use legilimency on Lockhart, or who didn't move against Quirrelmort, or who didn't do anything against Draco even though the moron was endangering other students and teachers.

Wanting him to change Harry at 11 because he isn't 'conventional' is pure stupidity.
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Old 03-26-2010, 12:16 PM   #83
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If you think of it more from Draco's point of view rather than from Harry's you'll see that maybe there are deeper, underlying messages being sent. The thing about the rape + obliviation is that the world this guy is setting up seems to have a much less strict moral standard than ours, and holds murder as the most despicable crime, rather than rape. Maybe it's a side effect of living longer, or the ease with which you can make it seem like it never happened, but in this world rape just isn't as 'bad' as it is in ours. That's something Harry is obviously going to try and fix, since this is a story about the meeting of two different worlds and the protagonist will inevitably win out in the end, but for now it's society that's the problem, rather than just a single person or family.
It's not that I object to a story where Draco thinks this way, or even that Draco is this sophisticated? or tutored in manipulation and whatnot. My objection is more that he is characterized that way and STILL blurts it out in front of Harry. I also do not like that Harry hears it, disagrees with it, realizes that Draco is a psychopath, and then calmly goes about trying to gently ease him away from the dark side. Draco becomes a masterful moron and Harry becomes a creepy hero. Plus, if this is a serious fic, then Harry's precociousness is less tolerable to me. My reading of the first few chapters left me with the impression that this fic would be interesting and a little silly. Now, I'm not too sure what the author is going for.
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Old 03-26-2010, 01:05 PM   #84
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I also do not like that Harry hears it, disagrees with it, realizes that Draco is a psychopath, and then calmly goes about trying to gently ease him away from the dark side.
It explicitly says that Harry realized that Draco was not a psychopath, but rather the society Draco belongs to is medieval. Draco is not a person who knows how society works (or is supposed to work) and subverts it; he is a person who was raised to believe he is entitled to whatever he wants within certain limits, and that people who are not Dumbledore or Voldemort are supposed to grovel before him and give him whatever he wants lest he destroy them. As if he is a Ducal heir and the Lovegoods are commoners - of course he can rape her. She should feel privileged he chose to rape her and not some other girl.
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Old 03-26-2010, 01:28 PM   #85
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It explicitly says that Harry realized that Draco was not a psychopath, but rather the society Draco belongs to is medieval. Draco is not a person who knows how society works (or is supposed to work) and subverts it; he is a person who was raised to believe he is entitled to whatever he wants within certain limits, and that people who are not Dumbledore or Voldemort are supposed to grovel before him and give him whatever he wants lest he destroy them. As if he is a Ducal heir and the Lovegoods are commoners - of course he can rape her. She should feel privileged he chose to rape her and not some other girl.
Okay. So, he's not a psychopath. But neither is he portrayed as a ducal heir blinded by entitlement. Clearly he has been tutored in manipulation. That implies that people don't give him whatever he wants. Someone with that kind of training, would have to understand other people's motivations and differing worldviews, even in an insular society like wizardom. If everyone viewed things like that, then there would be no need for manipulation, only negotiation.
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Old 03-26-2010, 02:19 PM   #86
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Chapter 8 has been released.

I feel like it's a bit over-the-top, but I'll go along with it for now. Chapter 7 was definitely better, though.
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Old 03-26-2010, 02:33 PM   #87
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Okay. So, he's not a psychopath. But neither is he portrayed as a ducal heir blinded by entitlement. Clearly he has been tutored in manipulation. That implies that people don't give him whatever he wants. Someone with that kind of training, would have to understand other people's motivations and differing worldviews, even in an insular society like wizardom. If everyone viewed things like that, then there would be no need for manipulation, only negotiation.
Manipulations are for equals.

Lucius/Draco *still* needs to manipulate people that have power themselves.

Anyway, about chapter 8, i see it as a way to make sure they don't go into Gryffindor, and do introduce a bit more of what Harry is looking for.

Also, am i the only one who thinks the Ravenclaw prefect is going to disappoint Harry?
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Old 03-26-2010, 03:46 PM   #88
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No I agree that the ravenclaw prefect will be disappointing -after all Percy never came across as overly brave and chivalrous. So why would any of the other prefects represent their house?

Anyways I've come to the conclusion that the author hasn't decided, or has only decided recently whether this is a Crack-Fic with a little plot or a serious story that's be heavy handed with the comic relief. And until he chooses what this will be the story won't ever reach it's potential for either the lulz or the actual level of quality that a story that applied the logic that Rowling's stories where clearly lacking: could reach.
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Old 03-26-2010, 04:20 PM   #89
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This last chapter was awful. I can already see this is going to end up with Hermione in Ravenclaw and Harmony farther down the line. I am disappoint.
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:07 PM   #90
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Meh. This chapter seemed more like setup and filler than anything else. Only I'm still not quite sure what it's setting up. Mordac's probably right, but it was too vague to tell. This story's still wait-and-see for me.
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:32 PM   #91
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I think we just need to see some more consistency. Right now I don't know how to classify this fic. Perhaps with a few more chapters we'll know more.

With regards to chapter 8, I definitely felt like the author was trying too hard to set up a relationship between Harry and Hermione.
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:33 PM   #92
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One superkid is hard to swallow, but he's the main character, so I can roll with it. Two superkids? That's trickier to buy.

I don't see why he felt the need to upgrade Hermione's intelligence from canon. She was never really a genius, just an above-average intelligence with a good memory among a gang of idiots. Now she's talking about quarks. If Harry's influence had slowly made her more scientifically-minded over time, that's okay. But to have her already be a mini-Harry doesn't work for me.

Also, lol at the author mentioning us in his A.N. I looked at his website; he looks like a pretty cool guy. And he's read Godel, Escher, Bach, which means I'm going to like him.
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:48 PM   #93
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Tis a filler chapter really.

The explanations are a tad over the top imo, doesn't need to explain ALL the scientific stuff like that.
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Old 03-26-2010, 05:50 PM   #94
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The explanations are a tad over the top imo, doesn't need to explain ALL the scientific stuff like that.
I dunno, it is the point of the fic. I think it's meant to be less of a story and more of a Harry Potter thought experiment.

The real test of this story for me, given the above, will be whether Harry is actually rational or not. Will he consider the possibility that the principles of rationality (and I use rationality in the author's sense, rather than the technical sense) might not be entirely suitable for investigating magic? And if he does, what will his reaction be?

Basically, will he be rational or dogmatic.

This section is encouraging in that regard:

Quote:
That left two possibilities, really.

Possibility one: Magic was so incredibly opaque, convoluted, and impenetrable, that even though wizards and witches had tried their best to understand, they'd made little or no progress and eventually given up; and Harry would do no better.
Now, the fic looks like it will go in the direction that magic is explainable, and that's fine, but at least he's considering the possibility that it might not fit neatly into science, and that it's going to be a hard endeavour.

Remember esama's Stargate crossover, where Harry tried to convince the wizarding world that there was no such thing as magic? That's what I don't want this fic to turn out as.
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Old 03-26-2010, 06:11 PM   #95
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This is fic is rather charming (except for bitch-boy Harry going off at Minerva).

That said, I'm bored. Move is out of first year. I don't want to read about a child.
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Old 03-26-2010, 06:18 PM   #96
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Eh, 1/5, I see the attempts at humor. I don't see this story achieving much past the Tylenol factor, I want to enjoy what I'm reading, not strain the brain deciphering technical and scientific terminology in a spin off of a series of books originally written for children. I'll scan future updates to see if the potential, that is there, is being used.

Perhaps I should clarify, when I referred to the "strain the brain" I was not implying that anything the author had written had confused, bewildered or approached any comfort zone. I should have stated that if I wanted to read scientific journals or technical manuals I would not look for them in fanfiction. I understand the need to portray Harry as an Intellectual genius with a firm understanding of scientific theory and such, but does every conversation and interaction have to turn into a lecture or class in something? They are 11 year old kids. to sum it up, its dry and doesn't grab the attention the way it has the potential to do, so I will await further updates to see the authors direction.
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Old 03-26-2010, 06:23 PM   #97
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I don't see why he felt the need to upgrade Hermione's intelligence from canon. She was never really a genius, just an above-average intelligence with a good memory among a gang of idiots. Now she's talking about quarks. If Harry's influence had slowly made her more scientifically-minded over time, that's okay. But to have her already be a mini-Harry doesn't work for me.
At first I was like "Hey! I couldn't name the quarks when I was eleven, and I was a real geek!" but then I considered it and decided that Hermione doesn't actually understand anything about quantum physics - she can just recite stuff. Maybe she knows the periodic table by heart, but can she do chemistry? I doubt it. She can probably recite Newton's Laws, and maybe Maxwell's equations, but I doubt she can solve high school physics test problems.

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I want to enjoy what I'm reading, not strain the brain deciphering technical and scientific terminology
Was is the experiment to demonstrate positive bias the author has described that strained your mind beyond your comfort zone? I haven't read any of the books he listed (IIRC), but I don't feel he used terminology that should confuse a young adult. Granted, it's not for 8 year olds, but then, neither were JKR's latter books. Actually, the scientific method itself can probably be explained to young children, without using any terminology. The author is kinda trying to do that, but he has Harry showing off a bit too much, which if often off putting. But that's not the same as being strained by deciphering what he says...
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Old 03-26-2010, 07:17 PM   #98
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Canon Hermione is an annoying bitch, but sure as hell she isn't retarded. This Hermione is the exact opposite. I know this is a humour story and caricatures are allowed, but it still annoyed me.
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Old 03-26-2010, 10:40 PM   #99
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I think a lot of people are judging this too harshly. Yes, the characters are not in character. Yes, some aspects seem heavy-handed at times. However, this is fanfiction; it's for enjoyment, and this is one of the few new stories that I've read lately from which I haven't had any feeling of boredom. I would give this a 4.87/5.00.

Anyway, anyone with half a brain can see this will end up as a threesome: Harry/Minerva/MadamMalkin. Will also feature MuggleEnlightened!Draco/vacuum, Hermione/Harry'sTrunk, and a temporary Harry/MokeskinPouch.

And now I return to lurking.

(I just read what I wrote and now admit it is bad HP fanfiction. However, it is still a very entertaining story. 4.79/5.00)
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Old 03-27-2010, 12:30 AM   #100
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In spite of some strange parts in the beginning which made me go "wtf", I decided to weather the battering my suspension of disbelief took and read through the story, and I have enjoyed it.

A scientific rigor!Harry is a scenario that appeals to me and has kept me hooked. I can find little fault with the technical execution and find this to be a good story.

The beginning isn't quite as good as the rest, so I'll only give it 4/5.
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