Dark Lord Potter Forums Dark Lord Potter Forums  
Go Back   Dark Lord Potter Forums > Library > Dark Arts
Donate Register Rules Library List IRC Chat FAQ Members List Social Groups Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Donate to DLP PatronusCharm Banner

 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-21-2016, 02:12 AM   #41
Verfassergeist
Squib
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
I enjoyed the premise, and the subsequent descent into DLP-land. Good, believable character growth for everyone. Magic was realistic as it could've been, with very little hand-waving for the nitty gritty. Was disappointed with brevity of the ending, but would've been nice to see more of DLP in Magical Britain and how the populace reacts to him.
__________________
He mastered the inner world while holding the outer in contempt, and this led to catastrophe.
Verfassergeist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2016, 01:32 PM   #42
Senna
Squib
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 7
Oh my word

...but this was an absolute pleasure to read! I was left incredibly relieved and yet somewhat disappointed that the story is complete - but I'm also conflicted, because the ending was definitely well suited to the plot.

Speaking on the author's technical writing ability, I think that this was the best possible compromise that could have been made between detailed plot development and noting the passage of time. There are some writers who cannot seem to find the 'sweet spot' between plot elaboration and plot movement, in the sense that communicating how much time passes between plot points often comes across as awkward, and interrupts the flow of the story for the reader. In my opinion, this particular author was able to strike a perfect balance leading up to not only the climax of the story, but also the denouement that follows.

I also find that the way action was used as the primary tool for character development to be incredibly well done - and a refreshing departure from the more common style of "let's use massive blocks of text of introspection from Character A, so that every decision that Character A makes thereafter will make perfect sense without further explanation." The way the author used action and slight introspection here or there to instead imply how the characters' personalities would then develop, then affect future decisions as a result, is inspiring. In my reading experience this is quite difficult to pull off but, when well done, is brilliantly executed.

I definitely liked how the author led (instead of forcefully pulled) the reader to arrive at, if not the same conclusions, then at least to understanding the rationale behind the main characters' decisions. At no point did I feel like the story was telling me that 'this makes sense because I say so.'

Regarding the plot itself, I feel that the author's use of
 
the Unbreakable Vow
to prod the story along was perhaps slightly over-used. That said, I do think the choice of writing style in this case is the primary reason for that somewhat heavy-handed feeling, and that a longer, more detailed elaboration on this Fic would avoid that issue. However, that would then result in an entirely different manner of fiction which almost makes the point moot. Still, if this writing style isn't your cup of tea you might not be able to keep from noticing it.

A few spelling issues and missing words, but easily remedied and not enough to detract from your enjoyment of the story. A thoroughly engrossing read, and highly recommended - I'd go so far as to say that if the author were interested in a longer, more detailed version of the current story or even sequel, that I'd read that in a heartbeat. 4/5 for me.
Senna is offline   Reply With Quote
Thumbs Up 2 thumbs up
Old 04-26-2016, 08:13 AM   #43
Ejt48
Squib
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
I liked the premise of this fic but feel like it never reached its potential. It was very well written and I enjoyed reading it, but I was always waiting for it to really ramp up the action but before it did it was over. I found the epilogue especially underwhelming, what the DLP had actually achieved over the last eight years was very vague with no specifics given. I think the author ran out ideas so decided to end it.

Overall the characters were well written, and most of their decisions seemed true to character but when
 
they are discussing the family of Auror Hipworth after Harry has killed him and if they can accept/justify his death, Harry justified himself but I didn't feel like Hermione and the others feelings about it were portrayed well. It was brought up and the almost forgotten about

I know this is a small part of a long story, but I feel like it was a bit of a turning point.

As some previous reviewers have mentioned the title Dark Lord was excessively and strangely used, almost as if it was an official position instead of a title.

Like i said all the potential in the world but overall 3/5

Last edited by Ejt48; 04-26-2016 at 08:48 AM.
Ejt48 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2016, 05:20 PM   #44
Marblegiraffe
Squib
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 5
I really enjoyed the premise of this story and I found the writing to be very well done in that every character had their own voice and seemed like themselves despite their actions. I think the most refreshing thing was how gradually Harry and the rest of the trio rose, with the passage of time and gains in power feeling very genuine.

I do think that the ending could have been better, with a more concrete epilogue explaining how events had continued forward to that point in time. While there was a climax that was resolved, the real issues of the story weren't really concluded in a meaningful way besides a sentence or two in the epilogue.

Overall, I really enjoyed it and I'd probably give it 4/5 overall.
Marblegiraffe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2016, 12:50 AM   #45
Xiph0
Administrator
First Tovarisch
 
Xiph0's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: People's Republic of California
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,626
Not going to be my most thorough review ever, but damn I really enjoyed this. It's not perfect and seeing Dark Lord Potter in a context other than the site took getting used to, but it scratched the fic itch.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by happyg View Post
As far as I can tell, Sree is some kind of racist joke.
Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H. L. Mencken
Xiph0 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2016, 08:20 PM   #46
ScottPress
Headmaster
The Horny Sovereign
 
ScottPress's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: The Holy Moose Empire
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,138
High Score: 1,826
People who liked this fic, prepare your cleaning products, because I'm about to shit all over it.

It has some major problems. First off, I thought that the prose, while serviceable, was rather plebian. Maybe I was spoiled by reading Circular Reasoning early in my fanfic days, but this lacked this X factor that would draw me in. I thought that the author wanted to paint a particular picture of a fairly crooked, bleak reality, but lacked the words to do it. The weak writing ties into the second issue.

The big moments, when they happen, have no oomph. There are fics that left me feeling like I've just been punched in the face and it was awesome. There's none of that here. Oh, Harry's killing people now? Okay, I guess. Ah, his big Dark Lord coming out. Yaaawn. Something's missing. I believe that a part of getting across the impact of those "big" moments is setting up the atmosphere of the story's environment and, like I said, the author didn't succeed in that.

The author had some cool ideas, but once they were introduced, they were handled badly, though not all.

 
Walburga's portrait was a horcrux? AWESOME.
But becoming a Dark Lord was run into the ground. Same with Occlumency. Harry can't learn it because of "Black madness". Cool. And then repeatedly "well I'm not super mad, but I got the recklessness". Things like Dark Lord being an actual legal thing, the stiff adherence to Hogwarts House stereotypes ("Gryffindor-Slytherin Dark Lord", oh for heaven's sake) made my blood boil every time they were brought up for ruining what had seemed in the beginning like a potentially good fic. I won't elaborate on the Ministry full of idiots and bigots, because there's no more juice to squeeze out of that nugget. Just blergh.

I confess that I skipped chapters 9 and 10 because I was bored out of my skull and wanted to know if Harry's Dark Lord career ever gets anywhere. The finale in the Ministry was skippable. And then the timeskip happened.

This, I think, is this fic's biggest fault. The author had an interesting idea for a story, but wrote all the wrong scenes. The story that should have been written is in that timeskip. How did things go from "grrrr, burn everything" to Harry being the Dark Pimp of Britain? Everything interesting was skipped over. In effect, the story feels incomplete. There should have been another 100k words between "BURN THEM ALL" and the epilogue.

Overall, terribly disappointing. 2/5
__________________
Lesser Evils (current WIP)
WBA | FFN | AO3 | Lesser Evils Beta Group
ScottPress is offline   Reply With Quote

Tags
author: holdmybeer, complete, dark arts, ewe, harry/hermione/ron


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Parts Of SOPA is back for consideration. Captain Trips Politics 1 08-24-2013 08:06 AM
Cost of living in various parts of the World Dante Real Life Discussion 21 03-24-2012 05:59 AM
Parts of PATRIOT ACT Struck Down Xiph0 Politics 12 09-28-2007 07:08 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:11 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2005 - 2016 DLP Group. All rights reserved.
No personal intellectual property on this site may be used without the credit and express permission of the respective authors.