Dark Lord Potter Forums Dark Lord Potter Forums  
Go Back   Dark Lord Potter Forums > Library > Other Fandoms > Naruto
Donate Register Rules Library List IRC Chat FAQ Members List Social Groups Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Donate to DLP Scryer Banner

 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-12-2017, 03:06 PM   #201
Vesvius
High Inquisitor
 
Vesvius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 565
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Here you go.

Now, as far as the chapter itself:

 
This chapter pretty much embodied why I love this fic so much. The entire thing is a culmination of the last fifty or so chapters. Without every single thing that happened (Shikako's intel stint, her promotion, the growing tensions with Kumo, the Gelel, even the bounty hunter arc from before Naruto left) none of this would've made a lick of sense. I mean, last year, if you'd asked if I would care if Aoba died, I'd have asked who Aoba was.

But because of the way SQ writes, the whole thing unfolded naturally and organically without the need to shoehorn a bunch of plot twists in. This couldn't be done well without taking the time to do the proper build-up. It gave the whole thing stakes and consequences.


Summary: I love this story.
Vesvius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2017, 03:48 PM   #202
Koalas
Dark Lord
 
Koalas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Newfie Land
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,931
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheddarTrek View Post
 
I thought the priests had Hidan-level abilities because they were in their place of power, their temple. If they had been anywhere else they wouldn't have been nearly as badass. That would correspond well to what we know about monks given Shikako's recent Fire Temple experience.

So I didn't think they were in an 'in-between' of any kind. Just that they'd been cloaking the more nefarious aspects of their temple until events in the chapter.

However if you're right and they were on another plane of some kind... then maybe the transportation trick at the end was Shikako snapping back into another area of reality.
 
Little column A little column B? I don't believe the monks would possess their kind of abilities before the barrier fully went up. After the barrier goes up we see things start twisting. Chakra is there but its not functioning normally. Lightning jutsu that ooze through the air, perception of time altered, etc. Shikako only righted her personal perception by taking her Gelel/Shadow form. Which caught Jashin's attention.

Cut to the Temple. Center of the ritual, the beating heart, where the barrier between realities is one sacrifice from being sundered. Chakra is no longer there every seal Shikako placed was her willing them into being. I think that's the key there. With how reality is sliding so did the strict seal requirements. Opening the door made closing it that much easier.

We also see Shikako Split herself before she starts any of this. I'm thinking the grand escape thanks to her. Either through some kind of Reverse Summoning shenanigans or some Gelel ability that's more in tune with her Shadow self.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Door View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
Surely an intelligent person wouldn't play so suspiciously if he was mafia?
You've obviously not played much mafia here, have you?
Koalas is online now   Reply With Quote
Thumbs Up 1 Thumb Up
Old 02-12-2017, 04:15 PM   #203
Dresden11
Squib
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 16
http://dosbysilverqueen.tumblr.com

This is silver queen's personal tumblr. She takes questions and sometimes answers them here.
Dresden11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2017, 07:11 AM   #204
kinetique
Groundskeeper
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
A high quality piece of work, with two drawbacks, major and minor.

The first is that parts are quite tedious to trudge through, whether it's filler or canon and as a result makes this feel closer to a fanfiction by numbers instead of an actual story.

The second is the dodgy grammar that is so prevalent. She's got the major parts correct and then insists on littering the story full of one word sentences, statements designed like questions, randomly italicised words and rhetorical questions. What is the point of it? Being written in the first person doesn't mean its a conversation memoir.

4/5.
kinetique is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2017, 08:01 AM   #205
PlainBlack0
Squib
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male
Posts: 7
One of my favourite SI fics, I find Shikako to be believable and fun throughout. The characters develop slowly and organically meaning that the changes from the canon feel earned. Plot points that seemed to be major cruxes of characters development have a habit of fading away for chapters on end until you've forgotten they exist only to reappear as an important factor in another arc. This gives the feeling of real struggle to things which I really appreciate.

Criticism, the filler and movie arcs can be painful if you really want the story to progress but considering the characters continue to develop throughout them and they're almost all rather short I found it manageable. The first few chapters are also a little sluggish on rereading it but that passes.

Not sure I'm allowed to rate things yet but solid 4/5 from me.
PlainBlack0 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 05:37 AM   #206
Nemrut
Order Member
The Black Mage
 
Nemrut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Department of Post-Mortem Communications
Gender: Male
Posts: 819
High Score: 2,101
Chapter 131 is out. Short update but man, what an update.
__________________

Signature done by Palindrome




Nemrut is online now   Reply With Quote
Thumbs Up 3 thumbs up
Old 02-17-2017, 05:52 AM   #207
chiefnewo
First Year
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 29
DLP Supporter Donor Star
 
That's gonna have some consequences I bet. You don't wipe out an entire town and surrounding area without getting a reputation, that's for sure.

MOTHERFUCKING SPOILERS ~Ched

Last edited by CheddarTrek; 02-17-2017 at 01:12 PM.
chiefnewo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 09:26 AM   #208
Koalas
Dark Lord
 
Koalas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Newfie Land
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,931
DLP Supporter Donor Star
 
In the buffer country between the two nations no less. Kumo definitely has casualties, it'll just be a question of whether they consider this the opening shot or if they're going to nope the fuck out until they can figure out what happened.

---------- Post automerged at 10:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:53 AM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nemrut View Post
Chapter 131 is out. Short update but man, what an update.
I feel like this one kind of suffered for it. Like I feel getting to Konoha and reporting in would have been a good end point then next chapter coming to terms with what happened.

Spoilers damnit!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Door View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
Surely an intelligent person wouldn't play so suspiciously if he was mafia?
You've obviously not played much mafia here, have you?

Last edited by CheddarTrek; 02-17-2017 at 01:13 PM.
Koalas is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 11:52 AM   #209
Perspicacity
High Inquisitor
High Score: 3,994
 
Perspicacity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Elsewhere
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
DLP Supporter Donor Star
High Score: 3,994
Quote:
Originally Posted by Koalas View Post
I feel like this one kind of suffered for it. Like I feel getting to Konoha and reporting in would have been a good end point then next chapter coming to terms with what happened.
I suspect the author felt a need to get a resolution to the cliffhanger out quickly, which probably contributed to the somewhat shallow tone of the chapter.

Logically, Shikako is going to have a lot to answer to, given that she's now turned Konoha into
 
the ninja world's sole superpower, capable, at least in principle, of deploying teardrop nukes.


Her ninja career should be effectively over now as they seek to weaponize this. I don't expect the author will go this direction with her story, but she's going to have to address why not.
__________________
Perspicacity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 12:13 PM   #210
Aekiel
Unspeakable
Angle of Mispeling
 
Aekiel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Mouth of Ports
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 780
DLP Supporter Donor Star
High Score: 9,373
 
I don't see how. The only reason the explosion was as large as that was because the Jashin monks had been ceremonially imbuing the land with power through human sacrifice for decades.

I mean, the rest of the world doesn't know that, but it does mean that Konoha hasn't just become the United States of the Elemental Nations. Also, you've got to remember that strategic weapons capable of wiping out villages already exist; they're called Jinchuuriki.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Custer
We're holding out for more SasuNaru goodness.
Because you can't, you won't and you don't stop ~ The Beastie Muppets
Steam Profile
Aekiel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 12:47 PM   #211
FlyingOctopus
First Year
 
FlyingOctopus's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The Netherlands
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 41
edit: nvm, don't know how to delete a post.

Last edited by FlyingOctopus; 02-17-2017 at 12:49 PM.
FlyingOctopus is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 01:03 PM   #212
VanRopen
Auror
 
VanRopen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 649
 
Not just Jinchuuriki, is that not what all S-Rank ninja really are? WMDs/people capable of tying up WMDs. How much territory could an unopposed Onoki, Sarutobi or Jiraiya wreck in a swoop?

This isn't much of a change in the Nations' status quo, but it could be big for Shikako personally. She's not on that level yet, but is at risk for attracting attention she isn't ready for yet. Then there is the obvious political fallout from an explosion in a border state. Raikage pls.
VanRopen is offline   Reply With Quote
Thumbs Up 1 Thumb Up
Old 02-17-2017, 01:17 PM   #213
CheddarTrek
Moderator
Set Phasers to Melt
 
CheddarTrek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mississippi
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,821
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Yes, I yelled at two of you for not using spoiler tags. I know this shit wasn't updated when I went to bed, and I opened it first thing this morning. Not even 24 hours people? Use spoiler tags for that long at least!

On another note, awesome!

 
I wonder how long it's been? The explosion was noticed, Konoha ninja were dispatched, and now they've had time to communicate and call in Shikaku to head things up. So a few days, maybe?

I wonder what's wrong with Shikako? She removed the Gelel stone, so it's not that. Killing this many people would seriously upset her, but it seemed like something 'was wrong' with her spiritually before that. So I'm curious the route that will take - plenty of possible causes.

Also surprised that Shikaku didn't try harder to get a simple answer to 'what happened' - but I guess he did try, and she didn't respond when he slapped her face. But even a simple "I did it" would have at least told him that they didn't need to worry about it happening again in the near future.

Pretty awesome.
__________________
Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe than time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important how we lived. After all, Number One, we're only mortal.
~Jean-Luc Picard


Last edited by CheddarTrek; 02-17-2017 at 01:27 PM.
CheddarTrek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 01:23 PM   #214
VanRopen
Auror
 
VanRopen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Los Angeles
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 649
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheddarTrek View Post
Yes, I yelled at two of you for not using spoiler tags. I know this shit wasn't updated when I went to bed, and I opened it first thing this morning. Not even 24 hours people? Use spoiler tags for that long at least!

On another note, awesome!

 
I wonder how long it's been? The explosion was noticed, Konoha ninja were dispatched, and now they've had time to communicate and call in Shikaku to head things up. So a few days, maybe?

I wonder what's wrong with Shikako? She removed the Gelel stone, so it's not that. Killing this many people would seriously upset her, but it seemed like something 'was wrong' with her spiritually before that. So I'm curious the route that will take - plenty of possible causes.

Also surprised that Shikaku didn't try harder to get a simple answer to 'what happened' - but I guess he did try, and she didn't respond when he slapped her face. But even a simple "I did it" would have at least told him that they didn't need to worry about it happening again in the near future.

Pretty awesome.
 

I think I remember the old Nara mentioning there could be consequences to being mentally out of sync/balance, which Shikako got around but didn't really fix. It's been increasingly common for Shikako to shove her negative emotions into her shadow self, so I bet we're finally seeing that having been pushed a little too far.

So basically the next level of that fuck up early on, where she went too far when manipulating her spiritual energy.
VanRopen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 01:27 PM   #215
CheddarTrek
Moderator
Set Phasers to Melt
 
CheddarTrek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mississippi
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,821
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perspicacity View Post
Logically, Shikako is going to have a lot to answer to, given that she's now turned Konoha into
 
the ninja world's sole superpower, capable, at least in principle, of deploying teardrop nukes.
Nah, I think this is pretty easily dealt with... at least within Konoha.
 
Shikako didn't make a seal that can explode. Or at least that's not how I read it. My understanding of what happened is more along the lines of...

Cultists: Let's summon Jashin! We have to murder loads and loads of people in a ritualistic fashion in order to have the required power! We're almost done, and this person with the gelel (Shikako) is the capstone and final murder!

Shikako: Oh shit, they're about to summon a god. Where have I seen this before? Oh, right, Gelel. We broke the prison for Gelel and it escaped through me instead of exploding. But the guy with us had planned on trapping it in another prison before that happened. I know how to make the seal for that prison.

*Shikako uses tears to hijack the summoning ritual and turn it into the prison seal instead*

*It starts to work*

Jashin Lead Cultist: Oh shit! *Stabs the seal and trys to stop it* *ends up damaging the seal*

...damaged seals explode. And this damaged seal was carrying with it the entire power of the almost completed ritual to summon a god.

So in short... Shikako can't do it again. Not unless they run across another large sect of monks who are gathering power (I doubt anyone much monks/cultists could accumulate power like that). Now other countries might not know that Konoha can't repeat this feat. But Tsunade will know, and therefore Shikako won't face pressure to recreate it. Beyond explaining it, perhaps.

Though... I do expect to see this again. In endgame. Very, very endgame. Around the time we need to start worrying about Kaguya. Or maybe that gedo statue thing. I expect this will be very convenient then.
__________________
Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe than time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important how we lived. After all, Number One, we're only mortal.
~Jean-Luc Picard

CheddarTrek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 01:28 PM   #216
CheddarTrek
Moderator
Set Phasers to Melt
 
CheddarTrek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mississippi
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,821
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanRopen View Post
 

I think I remember the old Nara mentioning there could be consequences to being mentally out of sync/balance, which Shikako got around but didn't really fix. It's been increasingly common for Shikako to shove her negative emotions into her shadow self, so I bet we're finally seeing that having been pushed a little too far.

So basically the next level of that fuck up early on, where she went too far when manipulating her spiritual energy.
Good point, actually. She did make a point of doing that right before things went completely to hell in the previous chapter.
__________________
Someone once told me that time was a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe than time is a companion who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again. What we leave behind is not as important how we lived. After all, Number One, we're only mortal.
~Jean-Luc Picard

CheddarTrek is offline   Reply With Quote
Thumbs Up 1 Thumb Up
Old 02-17-2017, 03:20 PM   #217
Boudicca
Squib
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 10
 
She also had just participated in a horrible ritual in which she was sacrificed to bring forth an evil god. She watched her comrade die. She saw that which should not have been seen by man. Even before she learned that her seal failed and she probably killed thousands, if not tens of thousands of people, that's pretty tough on the psyche.

Note: This is not incompatible with nara shadow technique mental damage. If anything they would compound each other horribly.
Boudicca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 05:39 PM   #218
Majube
Slug Club Member
 
Majube's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 193
 
Do you think once this leaks she'll get an S-Rank title, after all Kumo doesn't know that she can't repeat it an Konoha's other seal masters/shinobi were S-rank (idk if Mito/Kushina were but Jiraiya an Minato were). I'm mainly wondering about how Shikako will deal with killing so many people.

I mean she can't just think it away with saying the cultists could have killed them anyway, I'm wondering how long after she debriefs will she be shadow Shikako. Do you think she'll get more interest from people in Konoha, I mean Tsunade will let it go when she explains she can't repeat it but still. Also I think it will leak that she did it when the Hot springs civilians remember she came out of the deadzone riding a huge deer, do you think they'll hate her, itèd be really cool if she became s-rank a bittersweet irony since shes the first out of her team an isn't that what shes always wanted, to not be behind them in terms of strength and now she will be a monster in terms of shinobi, considered capable of making huge exploding seals, everyone will think she just improved from the chuunin exams. I wonder if when she meets Hidan he will say something about how she murdered the cultistsé/stopped Jashin from risingé/Jashin tells him to brutally murder her.
__________________
~I'm a mini-monstrosity~
Majube is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2017, 07:19 PM   #219
illya_
Squib
 
illya_'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheddarTrek View Post
 
Though... I do expect to see this again. In endgame. Very, very endgame. Around the time we need to start worrying about Kaguya. Or maybe that gedo statue thing. I expect this will be very convenient then.
 
With Shikako it is just a question of when, where and how freaking big of a blast.

However there will be no Kaguya.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Author Note - chapter 123
Other examples of Sir Not Appearing In This Fic: Kaguya. Asura. Indra. Romance. That weird chakra tree thing.
illya_ is online now   Reply With Quote
Thumbs Up 1 Thumb Up
Old 02-20-2017, 07:01 PM   #220
Koalas
Dark Lord
 
Koalas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Newfie Land
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,931
DLP Supporter Donor Star
Quote:
Originally Posted by illya_ View Post
 
With Shikako it is just a question of when, where and how freaking big of a blast.

However there will be no Kaguya.
I kind of liked the Asura/Indra plot point although I can do without the rest. Though that does make me wonder if the (some) of the EMS BS will be done away with as well.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill Door View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Typhon View Post
Surely an intelligent person wouldn't play so suspiciously if he was mafia?
You've obviously not played much mafia here, have you?

Last edited by Koalas; 02-20-2017 at 07:01 PM. Reason: A letter.
Koalas is online now   Reply With Quote

Tags
author:silver queen, naruto, naruto/oc, selfinsert


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hello Sunshine! the Earth says hello... cold burn Introduction Archives [Closed] 18 06-05-2009 07:16 PM
Abandoned - Like a Phoenix He Shall Rise by Nighttime Sunshine - M The Fine Balance General Fics 9 09-10-2007 04:12 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:24 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2005 - 2016 DLP Group. All rights reserved.
No personal intellectual property on this site may be used without the credit and express permission of the respective authors.