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Old 04-21-2011, 11:49 PM   #21
scaryisntit
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The one-shot was pretty terrible. The rest of the story was great. I'm a sucker for a happy ending, even if the chance meeting was a bit eh. Harry should've visited Adele if he was supposedly holding out for her.

I never really grew terribly fond of Adele, but she was real. I've known people like that.

4.5/5. I'll round up to 5 as the authors deserves it for writing a good original character.
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Old 04-27-2011, 03:48 PM   #22
Azotez
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I read it some time ago and I liked it. It was sweet and Adele's character was more believeable than most other you'd find in fanfic.
I had an enjoyable time reading it and the extra chapter didn't detract anything from the story at all, it was actually nice having the happy ending as there wouldn't be much to the story otherwise. The story fit its genre very well and didn't drag on forever.

That said, I don't know what the other OC besides Adele was doing there and it probably wouldn't be nearly as entertaining reading it again. 4/5
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Old 05-19-2011, 04:03 AM   #23
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I found it refreshing and realistic.

I could honestly see Harry bragging about the wizarding world to her at first, but revealing all of his secrets after that is something I'm iffy about.

The other oc was a bit iffy on the storyline too, it seemed he was a squib's child turned wizard? If so, I don't see Lucius even letting him go around his house...

3/5

Mostly for the fact she didn't get a letter, which I was expecting from the get-go.
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Old 05-20-2011, 02:13 AM   #24
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I liked this quite a bit and thought it was a very well written OC. I'm kinda glad she didn't into Hogwarts as that made the story refreshingly new. 4/5
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Old 05-20-2011, 09:18 AM   #25
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Well written, mostly enjoyable, and Adele was a great character if not actually terribly likeable...but yeah, that one shot. Oh dear. That takes a mark off all by itself, sadly.

3/5
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:22 AM   #26
Azotez
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I really don't see what was so terrible about the one shot. I think it was rather nice to have a conclusion to the story. It was more like an epilogue, really.
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Old 05-22-2011, 12:26 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azotez View Post
I really don't see what was so terrible about the one shot. I think it was rather nice to have a conclusion to the story. It was more like an epilogue, really.
If there's one thing you can learn from the HP fandom, it's that epilogues can inspire a lot of rage. Amirite, J.K. Rowling?
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Old 07-15-2011, 01:52 PM   #28
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Writing-wise it was actually a lot better than I expected. There were some glitches in switching POV's that threw me for a moment, but overall it was nicely handled. The emotions were forced at times, Aunt Petunia hugging her and Lysander wanting her being the worst. (Don't get me started on that stupid one-shot. Pointless and idiotic, but separate from the story at large.)

Adele was wonderfully characterized. I hated her but liked how she was portrayed. A girl all the way through. She was spot on perfect. And since everything hinged on her, the author pulled off what she was trying to do, mostly.

Harry being hung-up on her for five years was a bit of a stretch in my opinion. Maybe a couple, but not five. I think her age should have been a adjusted slightly to compensate for that. Harry also growing fond or her quirks was a little rushed I think, but given how much time passed between each chapter I can see how he might come to see it. However, the only way he would grow fond of it if he finally understood the why behind it, which wasn't portrayed that strongly.

That aside, their dynamic worked well, her being his one outlet for all the shit that happened to him. Kind of like a breath of fresh air, her having no association with the wizarding world.

The plot was pretty tight with very few hitches in it. Aside from the Adele stuff mentioned above. Normally I don't really like character-driven pieces, but the romance seemed to do it for me nicely.

In short, great characterization, not bad on the plot, and the writing was better than expected. So in all a 4/5.
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Old 06-29-2017, 05:11 PM   #29
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I've just recently found this and I thinks it's great, and for those who are scared off by thinking the OC is going to be a mary-sue. You're wrong, there is great charscter development in this story. I'd recommend this 5/5.
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Old 06-29-2017, 11:54 PM   #30
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Well, ain't this odd. The story was... weird. I didn't like it very much.

Adele was really unlikable to me. She just came across as this snotty, annoying, irritating brat for the most part. Granted, I saw some level of maturity in the latter few chapters, but it doesn't make up for the earlier ones. Even with her maturing after five years, there were hints of her more reprehensible character traits peeking through.

2/5, only because of the okay technical writing. I would've given it 3/5, had that oneshot been omitted.
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Old 06-30-2017, 04:30 AM   #31
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Judging this story without the one-shot, which I didn't read - taking everyone's advice, I'd say I liked it quite a bit. Adele's character is pretty darn well-written for a character of her age who's a bully/tomboy. The annoying, irritating brat we see is precisely the way I'd imagine someone like her to be. The younger sister of Piers Polkiss, someone encouraged to bully others in the name of sticking up for herself. Her interactions with Harry are perfect. Exactly how you'd expect a mean child fascinated with someone else to behave.

I also liked Harry's near-oblivious nature here. She has a crush on him and he has no idea. How typical. I'm also glad the author did not end with a happily ever after. It leaves the reader making up their later lives. Did they end up together? Or separate after a while? What happens once her crush wears off? Does she remain tomboyish and a bit mean even after she's into her 20s? I wish I knew, but I'm glad I wasn't told.

5/5 for a story which does what it sets out to do pretty well.
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Last edited by Genghiz Khan; 06-30-2017 at 07:05 AM. Reason: Just noticed I left the wrong rating here
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Old 07-10-2017, 06:33 AM   #32
The.Snorting.Hat
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Utterly delightful read. Very well written and good story plot (except for the One-shot at the end which was pointless and will be ignored)

Only thing that bugged me was that if Harry liked her so much as to ignore Ginny, Cho and literally thousands of other witches who would have been clamoring after him after the DH, he would have contacted her. The reason of him being 'scared' is entirely too flimsy. If nothing else, Hermione would have probably nagged him into it.

But that one fault does not erase the brilliance of previous chapters and realistic character development. 5/5


EDIT: I forgot about the utterly pointless Lysander character. He actually was pretty significant early on but then just sort of vanished into thin air (no we do not mention the One-shot) never to be mentioned again. Unlike the rest of the story, his character was static, unrealistic and too predictable. I have to cut a mark for that now. I'm sad already. 4/5

Last edited by The.Snorting.Hat; 07-10-2017 at 06:43 AM.
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