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Old 06-29-2008, 06:39 PM   #61
eXcalite
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1. Great chapter
2. Wasn't it Vincent Vega who said that they call them Quaterpounder with Cheese in Amsterdam and not in the US?
3. How dare you just skip the naughty parts?!
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Old 06-29-2008, 07:03 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by eXcalite View Post
1. Great chapter
2. Wasn't it Vincent Vega who said that they call them Quaterpounder with Cheese in Amsterdam and not in the US?
3. How dare you just skip the naughty parts?!

1. Thank you!
2. It's been a while since I've seen it but I believe he said a "Royal with cheese", but it's neither her nor there since he was in Mass. in the States when he ate it, so Double Quarter Pounder w/cheese ... a #4 on their combo meals in most states. Yes, I go to McD's way too much.
3. PG-13 baby!! You'll see ... or rather read a steamier scene in a few chapters.

@Chengar Qordath - Yea, I realize that the whole thing is "OMG my brain is frying." But still --it would be like be describing the hound as "terrifying" and you were just supposed to be scared by them. I've read a few outtakes from Lovecraft and I was more "huh?" I was never scared at all.

@My beautiful Morning Star Vash - The next chapter will be pure undiluted action as far as I can realistically write it. And the answer to your question is, pfft, of course. Harry's balls CLINK! CLINK I SAY!!!

And hey! You didn't mention your darling Hannah. She'll be in the middle of the action next chapter ... that means danger, and heh, possible death in the mix.
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Old 06-29-2008, 07:33 PM   #63
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@Chengar Qordath - Yea, I realize that the whole thing is "OMG my brain is frying." But still --it would be like be describing the hound as "terrifying" and you were just supposed to be scared by them. I've read a few outtakes from Lovecraft and I was more "huh?" I was never scared at all.
Yeah, Lovecraft's tends to be more creepy than scary, which I suspect is why he doesn't go much into describing his mosters; he wants to leave the reader wondering WTF something horrible enough to destroy a person's mind would look like. I suppose he decided that his readers would come up with things far more gruesome and horrifying than anything he could write about. Where Lovecraft really shines is always managing ending his stories on a creepy note.

Anyway, the story is really good and I'm enjoying the way your characters are interacting with each other; Harry and Padma's bickering/sexual tension is always fun to read though I'm curious about what you'll do to develop things between them now that they're already together.
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Old 06-30-2008, 07:27 PM   #64
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Liked the new chapter.

Only one small problem that I noticed, at the end, I think she is supposed to be he.

As in "'Daphne Greengrass,' he said as the doors closed."
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Old 06-30-2008, 09:04 PM   #65
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Liked the new chapter.

Only one small problem that I noticed, at the end, I think she is supposed to be he.

As in "'Daphne Greengrass,' he said as the doors closed."
Or it could also be a question posed by Padma.

I'll lol pretty hard if the next chapter starts with Harry telling Padma that he did screw Greengrass.

<.<

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Old 07-01-2008, 11:57 AM   #66
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It's been a LONG time since I thought about it, but fried pies at Mickey D's were the shit! Cherry pie, mmmmm. I think they went away in, like, 1992...

Styrofoam containers were awesome, too.

I'm finding myself very amused by this story: characterization, snappy dialogue, plot... I don't recall if you've written much humor before but you definitely have a knack for it.

Hope you're keeping your muse well fed so we get more soon.
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Old 07-01-2008, 03:53 PM   #67
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It's been a LONG time since I thought about it, but fried pies at Mickey D's were the shit! Cherry pie, mmmmm. I think they went away in, like, 1992...

Styrofoam containers were awesome, too.

I'm finding myself very amused by this story: characterization, snappy dialogue, plot... I don't recall if you've written much humor before but you definitely have a knack for it.

Hope you're keeping your muse well fed so we get more soon.

Muse is well fed. I'm about halfway through with Chap 6 so it should be out thursday at the latest, and since I've said that it's almost guaranteed out tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm shit with deadlines.

Last year sometime I stopped by the local McD's and they actually had the fried pies. I freaked and bought like ten. Then a week later they were gone again. >_> Bastards!!

I've never put much humor in my stories as I've said before I have a weird sense of humor. Not many people get me, or they tend to look at me weird when I crack a joke. Of course I should have guessed that the weirdos at DLP would be kindred spirits.

I did have a story "Sacrifices to be Made" that a lot of people thought was funny, but I warn you ahead of time it was my first real HP story, it's H/Hr, and it's very sugary. So read at your own risk.


@Khortez - Thanks for the catch.

@thisperson - The Greengrass subject will return at a point in the future. Lets just say that Harry got to mow the lawn, and plant some seed(s) at the Greengrass estate.
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Old 07-01-2008, 04:48 PM   #68
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subtle..very subtle
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Old 07-04-2008, 12:37 AM   #69
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Ah, nice up date.

Plan B eh?
I was actually thinking about that during the encounter. Is there any plans for plan B to come to fruition? Or would that be telling
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Old 07-04-2008, 02:15 AM   #70
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And Action.....
So what happens next, I mean how do you top what you got?
Do you add even more demon dogs, or maybe a pack leader, increase the amount of danger by having more bystanders (kids are useful for this)...
Well I am sure it will work out mostly fine (except for victim) and look
forward to your next chapter.
4/5
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Old 07-04-2008, 08:33 AM   #71
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And Action.....
So what happens next, I mean how do you top what you got?
Do you add even more demon dogs, or maybe a pack leader, increase the amount of danger by having more bystanders (kids are useful for this)...
Well I am sure it will work out mostly fine (except for victim) and look
forward to your next chapter.
4/5

This is tricky ground for me because I always try to top the previous action/intrigue scenes. I have plans to do so again, but I'm not going to go too far over the top because that would just be unrealistic. I will tell you that the Hounds portion of the plot has been expended. That won't keep me from using them in the future, but there won't be anymore "Trap/fight/cut/burn" chapters like the last.

Not that they aren't exciting, but Harry and Co. have learned how to deal with them now. So, unless they get jumped unaware then the Hounds are a non-issue. And they will probably get jumped unaware. I do like the idea of a pack leader, and I haven't had a chance to use that second mouth on the tongue that Harry was so freaked out about.

And remember this story is written Lovecraft/Dumas in mind, and those stories never turn out "well."

@Jamven - Plan B ... Hmmm, I have a special use for Plan B. So it would be telling. Sorry.

@eXcalite - I am the Queen of subtle. I could have said he worked that grassy land day after day digging his fingers into soil ... ah, well I guess I shouldn't continue that mode of thought ... virgin ears and all. (snicker)
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Old 07-04-2008, 02:09 PM   #72
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wow.. a pure hack 'n slay chapter. So now we know that your capable of writing action too. This is getting better and better. I am feeling well entertained.
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Old 07-04-2008, 03:19 PM   #73
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I'd say. What about the Spear, though? Is it really destroyed?

And on a completely related/unrelated note, where do I go for that
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most interesting offer? I mean, Padma and a PSP? Wow.
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Old 07-04-2008, 04:03 PM   #74
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I am wondering the same thing. Is it possible a Hound took it back to wherever it came from? I look forward to what happens next.
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Old 07-04-2008, 11:41 PM   #75
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<3 Love.

Nice chapter, loved the action. Written very well. I liked the way Harry reacted and how it all turned out. Personally, I hope Harry stuffed up and lost the spear.

Dont rightly remember why Harry couldn't hear and I think it might have been a bit hazy in the story, but it was ... hours ago when I read it.

Still, awesome story.
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Old 07-05-2008, 05:56 AM   #76
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I think the hound trashing around on him and screaming bloody murder popped his eardrums.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:56 AM   #77
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<3 Love.

Nice chapter, loved the action. Written very well. I liked the way Harry reacted and how it all turned out. Personally, I hope Harry stuffed up and lost the spear.

Dont rightly remember why Harry couldn't hear and I think it might have been a bit hazy in the story, but it was ... hours ago when I read it.

Still, awesome story.
Thank you, baby. I'm ignoring the spear for now because Harry is a little too overpowered with its presence so I had to take him down a notch. Harry's eardrums popped when the Hound was on top of him screaming inches away from his face. I may need to go back and make that a little more plain. Thanks for pointing it out.


@MonCappy - Not tellin' what happened to the spear just yet.

@Sesc - Sorry, but you don't get Padma, you just get to worship her. But I can tell you that the National Temple of Padma is giving the PSP's away. You just have to find it. I think it's somewhere in India, maybe in one of their magical communities which make the PSP's operating capabilities problematic.

@eXcalite - Yes, I can sorta write action ... who woulda thunk it? I love to hear when I am actually 'entertaining' people. I don't hear that often enough. Thanks!
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Old 07-06-2008, 02:41 AM   #78
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The latest chapter was a winner. It does make me wonder what will happen next. This Unspeakable sounds dangerous in the extreme. I wonder if he will make an appearance in person.
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Old 07-06-2008, 10:04 AM   #79
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Not a bad chapter; well written, though it seemed more like filler.

..."Japanese wank porn", indeed.
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Old 07-06-2008, 01:20 PM   #80
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Padma growled in frustration. "When the Byakhee appear tonight, Harry, then you'll believe."

He leaned back. "You're actually trying to scare me with a plane traveling creature that is named after some Japanese wanking porn?"
This line is pure win. Seriously
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