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WIP Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle by Inverarity - K+

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ray243, Jun 23, 2009.

  1. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Just finished the sequel, and while it had some lengths, stretches where not much happened, the last third or so blew me away. Another story, another revelation, and fuck ... I mean, building up a new character like that, and then, at the end ... I still can't believe it. And Abraham Thorn is a bastard.

    While after the first book, you yet might have had the impression that the Confederation seemed undesirable and to be the true evil here, and the Thorn Circle in the right, the second book leaves you utterly disillusioned. In fact, I'm doubting that it would be better, would Thorn be successful in overthrowing the Confederation. Different, yes, but better? They aren't really better; perhaps their goals might have been honourable, once, but how long can you go on before the end no longer justifies the means?

    It's like the antithesis of all black/white struggles. Neither side is innocent and able to claim the moral high ground -- only Alex could perhaps, so I'm kinda guessing that eventually, she will turn out as a third option. Then again, I could also see the series ending without a happy end and the realisation that after all the struggles, nothing truly has changed. The authors certainly seems to be ballsy enough for that kinda ending, considering how she finished off the second story.


    Yeah, one last note; the stories seem very carefully crafted. Perhaps it's got to do with me reading it as real books, in one go, not waiting for updates; but I guess that is more the benefit of finishing the story before posting it. The author looks at the story as a whole, and can edit things in hindsight, which for example shows in that way that everything, every little detail, seems exactly where it should be.


    Perhaps it might not be much Harry Potter, beyond some spells and other basic things to provide a frame. But if that is so, I'll be damned if this isn't the best original fiction series I've read in fucking ages.
     
  2. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    I have to agree with Sesc. I originally looked at this a bit warily. But once I got into the story proper, I was thoroughly entertained. Yes Alex is hot headed, stubborn and a bit childish, but for god's sake, SHES 11!

    It also took me a bit to realize that this story takes place long after the end of Harry Potter book 7. But there you have it. I'd probably give this a 4/5 personally. -1 because, well... its NOT Harry Potter.
     
  3. cold burn

    cold burn Third Year

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    I almost didn't read this because of the bad reviews. Now i'm wondering if perhaps I read a different story than you guys.

    In fact I would go so as to say that most of need to stop judging books by covers and try their text for a change. Is this OC centric? yes. Does this take place in the USA? yes. Is this still as completely full of win as Shezza's Denarian trilogy? Absolutely.

    Now I understand where you guys are coming from when you say that the words USA, OC and non-harry centric make you cringe. I've read Harry Potter fanction too. But your looking at this wrong. This isn't Harry Potter and the other Choice, or what ever fic infected you so completely with post traumatic stress syndrome. It is instead what the Rouge and Wraith squadron books where to Star Wars, only applied instead to Harry Potter.

    5/5
     
  4. Sageun

    Sageun Fourth Year

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    Unlike many people in this thread I actually enjoyed this fic. While the main character may have been annoying at times, it wasn't so bad that it ruined the story for me. Like others, I also think that the US Wizarding World was very well done and well fleshed out with a lot of backstory that I wish JKR had given us on her own HP world.

    What this fic isn't is a Harry Potter fic. It has next to nothing to do with Harry Potter, the only thing being its magic system, which isn't terribly original anyway. If I remember correctly Voldemort was mentioned in passing a few times, other than that this is an original story.

    So, while good, it isn't what it claims to be.
     
  5. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Just finished reading the sequel. I think I'd still rate the first story at a 3/5, but the second one is a 4/5 if not better. Since I don't think the sequel is going to get a thread of it's own, well, I'll count them as one story and round that up to 4/5 just because, damn, I didn't realize how much fun I was having reading this stuff until there wasn't any more. Interesting how my rating just keeps going up the more I read -- from a 2.5 all the way to a 4.

    I thought Max was a pretty awesome character. One of my favorites in fanfiction, period. Not sure why, but damn, his parts all rocked in my opinion. To the point that I sort of want to read the second story again, and that is very rare for me and fanfiction.

    In fact, I can't think of another story (fanfiction or any type of fiction) with a character like Max who had a similar type of relationship to the protagonist (trying to avoid spoilers here). I thought it was brilliant. Tempted to give the story a 5/5 just for the writing of his parts.

    And yeah, Sesc, Abraham Thorn is one hell of a bastard. I liked the last line. "Then I guess we don't have anything else to talk about." Or some variation on that.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2009
  6. royalduke

    royalduke Backtraced

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    What is this,

    I hate stories that have too much OCs. WHo cares if the author gave good details and stuff. Anyway, it's called Harry Potter Fan Fiction for a reason. If the author is so talented, why doesn't he write his own damn book regarding magic.
     
  7. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I assume because he felt like writing Harry Potter fanfiction. Now STFU and GTFO unless you actually read the damn thing.

    OT: Looks interesting from what I skimmed. Will probably give it a proper read tonight.
     
  8. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    Do it Oz. Join us. o_o

    I finished the sequel myself and I found myself actually looking forward to the third book. Much like I did when the original Harry Potter series came out. My rating isnt changing though. 4/5 still because it still isnt Harry Potter. Though Voldemort IS mentioned by name in the second book.
     
  9. Tinn Tam

    Tinn Tam Review Goddess Retired Staff

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    Because the system s/he wrote (given the main character is female, I tend to believe the author is a she; but feel free to correct me) is based (at least loosely) on the Harry Potter books. Therefore, it's Harry Potter fanfiction -- where Harry Potter is not the character but the title of the series.

    Generally speaking, you don't question a fic's right to be recommended here. Even if it has Snape as a main character, Harry/Ginny as a main pairing or is full to the brim with OCs. If it sucks, it's trashed. If it doesn't, it's recycled or stored in the Library.

    Read, review, rate.

    Welcome to For Review.

    And don't forget to use question marks when they're needed.
     
  10. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Tinn is in her happy-holiday-mood, so here's in case you missed her meaning: Fuck You.


    Yeah, that. And that's actually pretty rare nowadays. Sadly though, her LJ says ETA is the end of the year. That's another six months :/
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2009
  11. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    2/5 from me as well. Despite me dis-taste for non-Harry centric fiction, I tried it out. I got bored. I got bored quick. As someone said earlier, she used ass-loads of filler without JKR''s ability to make it tolerably interesting.
     
  12. Silens Cursor

    Silens Cursor The Silencer DLP Supporter

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    That was me, actually. And whether or not you find JKR's filler interesting comes down to how much you liked how long the last three books were (I'm still convinced the series peaked at Goblet of Fire, but that's personal opinion).

    Given, OOTP and DH had a few redeeming moments, and I think HBP had maybe one or two, but at least any filler in those books were used (for better or for worse) to define the characters and show how they 'develope'. In this story, the filler does more to define the world around the story rather than the characters within the story. And you know what? That's fine, up to a point. But the author passes that point with startling alacrity and keeps going, up to the point where I can't even read the story without it feeling like a chore.

    And given the slowdown in fanfic recently, I'm actually considering reading the sequel here. Asking those who have actually read it: is it worth it?
     
  13. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    I thought so. Given that you dont like the amount of setting description that the author goes into, you might not like the second book either. But the US is a big place. There's a hell of a lot more magical world here than there is in just England. I think the author does a good job with it though, and the second story kept me riveted. So I'd recommend it.

    Terrible pun. I hate you.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2009
  14. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I thought the sequel was significantly better than the first. I'd rate the sequel at a 4/5 or even a 4.5/5, while the first story was a 3/5 for me at best. This is due in large part to the introduction of a new and interesting character who got a lot of screen time in place of Alexandra's friends. Also the "Oh noes Principal's office" drama was replaced with more interesting conflicts.

    I'd say if you liked the first one enough to consider reading the second, even if it is out of boredom, that it would be worth giving it a shot.
     
  15. wwtMask

    wwtMask Squib

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    Yeah, I don't get the hate for this story I saw earlier in the thread. It's in the top 5 Harry Potter fan fics I've read. The main character didn't bother me like it bothered some of you; in fact, there are quite a few aspects of Alexandra that I like quite a bit.
     
  16. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    I wouldn't rate this as one of my favorites, but when the third comes out I'll make sure to read it. It's better than trawling through ffnet for good stories, at least.

    I don't get how people were complaining about the story being in Alexandra's biased view, though. Occasionally, Alex thinks something is unfair towards her. But that's the point. She thinks it. It isn't stated as a fact, but as one of her own opinions. Harry has similar, if not worse times in canon.
     
  17. Inverarity

    Inverarity Groundskeeper

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    Thank you for all of the comments. I'm pleased that some of you did like my story, despite the fact that it's very much not the sort of story that usually gets recommended on DLP. I appreciate the constructive criticism as well. (And even some of the not-so-constructive criticism -- I must admit, "a bunny rabbit made of shit, hopping about on an epic journey of self-discovery" made me laugh.) Incidentally, the author is not a she -- as I told Silens Cursor when we "had it out" on MNFF. (I thought it was a perfectly civil conversation, actually.)
     
  18. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    Omigod! Youre here! Welcome. Hope you have tough skin.

    Actually though, youre right. This isnt the kind of fic that usually gets recced here. But you have to admit that the fanfiction puddle is drying up now, so we take what we can get.
     
  19. Koalas

    Koalas First Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    No. We take good fics that meet our criteria of good plot/character development/originality/workd building/etc. No matter how much the fanfiction puddle dries up we don't lower our standards. Please don't insult the author by implying the only reason this fic is being recc'd is a lack of competition.

    That said the story gets a solid 3 from me. As has been said before the Principal's Office drama was overdone and the Janitor was painfully obvious to anyone even slightly genre savvy. Doggarel (sp?) verse was an interesting concept as was remedial classes. As a series this gets at least a 4, the sequel was a huge improvement and great read.

    EDIT: Brushing up on the little canon details would also be a good idea. For example Veritaserum only requires three drops on the tongue, not an entire potion or that magic is incapable of creating lasting 'real' food.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2009
  20. famine224

    famine224 Muggle

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    Well, The call -is- coming from upstairs...
    Heh...My standards are fairly high, I guess...problem is, I'm much too busy to find any truly magnificent fiction. The only reason I ever go on FF is because my little brother is an editor in a small group.

    Back on topic, I took the time to read the entire story (a few hours) and I will relinquish the the point to you, Sesc. It was, indeed, a fairly engaging read, and the interaction between different races and the government was interesting, but not completely intellectually satisfying.

    And it definitely wasn't funny enough.