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WIP Applied Cultural Anthropology by jacobk

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by mknote, Jun 13, 2013.

  1. KaiDASH

    KaiDASH High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Hermione knows almost nothing about Quidditch and Draco doesn't strike me as the type to have researched Quidditch strategy - it's fine as it is.

    If she was talking to Oliver Wood or even Marcus Flint and the same thing happened it would definitely be a stretch.
     
  2. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

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    It's not really a loophole though, is it? It's a strategy, one that might work, but just as well it might not. Neither Hermionie or Draco are experts at Quidditch, so it has to be taken with a grain of salt.
     
    T3t
  3. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    I don't think it's supposed to be.
    It's just that Draco didn't see it because he was so focused on beating Harry directly.

    Though I agree on the house elves.

    I really enjoyed the boggart scene.

    Overall I think the story is doing a good balancing act in having an extremely talented main character, but having her be imperfect, immature and inexperienced at times without it becoming too exasperating. (Looking at you, Alexandra Quick!)
     
  4. LilC16

    LilC16 Second Year

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    Yeah, I felt the house elf scene went a bit over the top in highlighting this AU Hermione's view of things. We get it, they aren't pretty.

    Otherwise it was nice update.
     
  5. Quiddity

    Quiddity Auror

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    Sure, it's a strategy. But if it does work, than that's frankly ridiculous for her to have thought it up.

    Idk, obviously it's not offensive in and of itself. But if it bears fruit and is successful, then it'll be very cringy.


    And the point is, even if he hasn't researched strategy, Flint and so on certainly have, and if this was a good option would've suggested it awhile ago.
     
  6. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

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    Eh, even if it does work, all I think it means is that they tricked a seeker with a handful of schoolyard games under his belt and who has never even been to a professional quiddich game.

    For all we know it's a terrible strategy, but sometimes even those work under the right conditions.

    I think it'll only be cringy if it works more than once, or becomes some kind of super strategy that everyone missed out in all the centuries of Quidditch. Otherwise it's just Malfoy exaggeraring, as he always does.
     
  7. Emdemia

    Emdemia Squib

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    New chapter is out.

    That Quidditch game was one of the most engaging and suspenseful games I've seen in HP fanfiction.

    And its always entertaining watching Hermione do business.

    As usual, if Hermione thinks her cause is just, anything is justified. Even as a Gryffindor, let alone a Slytherin.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2015
  8. Quiddity

    Quiddity Auror

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  9. KwanLi

    KwanLi First Year

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    On one hand, I like that Hermione is in character justifying most of Draco's actions.

    On the other hand, much like Alexandra Quick, her defense of Draco's blatant dirty play and time wasting made her very annoying. I can't help but think Hermione wouldn't condone dirty play regardless of House but maybe this is just the character.
     
  10. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    I've read up to Ch. 14 and still think that this is a solid work. 4.5/5. I'm deducting 0.5 points because it isn't Harry Centered but otherwise totally solid. I will say that in Ch 13 I felt the author could have used a beta reader, they had some errors but not ones a word processor would pick up on.
     
  11. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    The whole Quidditch thing really annoyed me. So she tells Draco that there's no glory in beating Harry by using his father to do the dirty work, but thinks its fine to do so in blatantly dirty play? I mean, it's not even like he's cheating behind everyone's backs - he's doing it in plain view. That and, as discussed after the previous chapter, the whole fact Hermione seems to be a Quidditch expert.

    That along with the whole House Elf hatred thing felt like a very forced way to try to make Hermione feel a bit "dark".

    But yeah, apart from that good chapter. Loved the scene with Pansy and with Dennis.
     
  12. The Iron Rose

    The Iron Rose Death Eater

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    I, on the other hand, loved the quidditch scene.

    There's a difference between having others do your dirty work and and doing it yourself.
     
  13. Innomine

    Innomine Unspeakable Prestige DLP Supporter

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    How is there a difference? Whether you do it, or force someone else to do it, the result is the same. The only difference is being able to put the blame on someone else.

    And I'm pretty sure that Hermoine as a character would be aware of that.

    I'm fine with it though, considering that the fic is about Hermoine's descent into moral ambiguity.
     
  14. The Iron Rose

    The Iron Rose Death Eater

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    Perhaps, but was she not trying to get Draco to stop relying on his father? Legit question, I haven't reread the fic in some time, only the latest chapter. If that's the case he clearly he took that lesson to heart. Dirty play or not, Draco succeeded on his own merits, and that's something Hermione's consistently emphasized in this fic.
     
  15. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    I didn't like the talk with Dennis. Whenever Hermione does something morally dubious, she justifies herself that she had to do it to survive, or that her target was a dick and it was rightful vengeance. So for her to basically tell Dennis that the higher moral ground doesn't matter doesn't sit right with me. Not only is it completely OOC, but it also contradicts her actions in the rest of the story.
     
  16. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    I would disagree. Hermione's words were that he didn't need to win a moral high ground, but that he had to be the objectively better wizard. In the sense that he was quicker on the draw with his wand, knew more spells and was more powerful than the pureblood in question.

    Her morality or lack of it plays no part in that speech. Her drive to become powerful is based on the need to be objectively twice as good as the average pureblood to survive, that is also true for Dennis.

    As such I would not consider her "pep talk" to be OOC at all, but rather IC.
     
  17. Emdemia

    Emdemia Squib

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    Just on an interesting note, the author jacobk is current running a quest (CYOA story) on the Sufficient Velocity forums where Hermione ends up in Hufflepuff. Its pretty good, going on a bit more of a lighthearted route. Link.

    As a relatively new poster how do you "thumbs up" something? I don't see a button for it anywhere.
     
  18. S1234567890m

    S1234567890m Third Year

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    You need a certain amount of posts, around 25 I think.
     
  19. PWIZDUO

    PWIZDUO Second Year

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    I don't think so, I see hermione's morals in this story as being on a rather slippery slope. She doesn't like seeing dennis picked on but wants him to stand up for himself like she did.

    Overall, still excellent. 5/5 My only complaint is the update rate.
     
  20. Quiddity

    Quiddity Auror

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    Updated.

    I don't like his characterization of legilimency, which seems to have been nerfed considerably. The Slytherin prejudice leaking through was kinda nice, but the ease with which the other prefect basically ended up training her annoyed me.

    All in all, a bit of a meh chapter, that I didn't feel advanced anything enough. I get that it's hard when the canon plot has so little to do with her, but I think the decisions that have been made to give depth to year 3 aren't serving him well.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2016