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WIP Blind Stars of Fortune by 100demons - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by T3t, Feb 26, 2015.

  1. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP Prestige DLP Supporter

    Jan 21, 2011
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    Title: Blind Stars of Fortune
    Author: 100demons
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Naruto
    Pairings: None
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 64,677
    Summary: Thirty year old Kakashi was supposed to have been killed by Pein during the Invasion. Instead, he wakes up in the body of his twenty year old self. (It gets a lot more complicated.) Time travel.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9008333/1/Blind-Stars-of-Fortune

    Kakashi travels back in time. Things start going wrong very, very fast. It's the best kind of trainwreck. 4.5/5, rounded up.
  2. Probellum

    Probellum Death Eater

    Jan 17, 2011
    Among the Moose
    I second this recc. It's been on my favorites for awhile, but I've kept from putting it up for review because it's still fairly short, IMO. It also doesn't have too good of an update rate.

    Pros: Suitably badass Kakashi
    Kakashi is neither OP, nor is he a able to fix ever problem
    The characterization of people like Genma, Tenzo and Raido are pretty interesting.
    Ninjas that act like ninjas? Yes please.

    Cons: Short-ish.
    Kakashi tends to think of Team 7 as 'pack.'
    Can give off a bit of an angsty feel.
  3. sonny_yalin

    sonny_yalin Third Year

    Aug 26, 2014
    I've enjoyed this so far as well. Another con I'd like to add to the existing ones in this thread is the author's use of 'kid talk' when characters like Naruto and Sasuke speak. Granted, they are kids, but the author is constantly using 'bestest' and other common kid-isms. It can get a bit repetitive to read during the kid scenes.

    However, Kakashi and Delta Squad are suitably written and more than make up for that small complaint.
  4. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Auror

    Sep 3, 2010
    I am liking the heck out of this. The characters really sell this, even the children, who I think are pretty good.
  5. CareOtters

    CareOtters Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Jun 8, 2010
    I love me a Peggy Sue. This is a perfect example.

    Using Kakashi instead of Naruto helps shake things up a bit, along with making sure that we have an adult protagonist. I can suspend my disbelief down to teenagers acting like adults in a fantasy world, but time travel often ends up with psuedo-adult infants which is never a good idea.

    Characters and plot evolve at a snappy pace, and at circa 80k words, this is a tightly woven narrative - compare that with most fics, which are utterly unstructured and just meander aimlessly forever or never get off the ground. Apparently we're on the penultimate chapter, but it seems to have been abandoned. I wouldn't cry over spilt toad milk. Leaving things here would be like skipping the wedding scene in Return of the King; by this point, there's not much left to see.

    Naruto himself wasn't done badly, but even so, I would have preferred him to not be around as much. I guess such a prominent protagonist is just plain distracting. Not to mention the whole kicked puppy vibe he always has in these types of fics.

    The last update was October 2016, but there have been three additional chapters published since the thread originally went up.

    I can't put my finger on any one thing which prevents this from being a great fic, but it never quite crosses past good. I like it, but I don't love it. There's no wow factor here.