Complete "Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness" by Thanfiction - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Thanfiction, Sep 8, 2008.

  1. Thanfiction

    Thanfiction Squib

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    Title: "Dumbledore's Army and the Year of Darkness"
    Author: Thanfiction
    Rating: M or R for violence and adult themes
    Genre: Gen, Drama, Action/Adventure
    DLP Category:
    Pairing: Neville/Parvati, Neville/Hannah, Ernie/Susan
    Chapters: 25
    Words: 256,506
    Updated: June 15, 2008
    Published: June 11, 2008

    Status: Complete

    Summary: After re-forming Dumbledore's Army as a true resistance movement rather than a secret class, children become soldiers, strangers become friends, and nothing at all remains the same as Neville and the others learn who they really are and what they must do.

    Link: Story may be found either on The Quidditch Pitch or Fanfiction.net

    This is finished, but I'd love to see what a forum like this has to say about it...you know, somewhere where people won't be going "it wuz good but did u hav 2 make snape so meen and kil so many pplz?!!" or "im so glad u didn't relly hurt colin even tho we now hes gonna die lulz!"

    The grown-up reviews I've gotten from grown-ups have been fairly good, however, and I'm quite confident in my work and that it can stand up to some real reading. On the other hand, I have NO problem with concrit, and welcome it heartily. I'm halfway into the second novel of this trilogy...if I'm building on a foundation with holes in it, I'd sure as hell like to know.

    Only caveat is that I DID stick quite rigorously to DH canon. Yes, I went beyond it, but only where openings were given. If she said it, I kept it. Which means that if you think it's stupid that no one said anything when Ginny and Cho decided to have their little snit at each other hours before battle, why Voldemort didn't close the school if the DA was so active, or how Snape managed to hide that he'd lost the entire 7th year by the end of it (or just start horribly torturing the youngest one at a time as hostages until they came out again)....well, you may address THOSE kinds of concrit statements to JKR. Not that she'll effin' listen.



    Checked by Minion, June 9, 2013
    The story isn't available on The Quidditch Pitch anymore.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2013
  2. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

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    Wrong forum bru, this belongs in For Review. Work By Author is for you to post the chapters themselves. That said, been waiting for someone to write this concept for a long time. d(o_od)
     
  3. Thanfiction

    Thanfiction Squib

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    Sorry, this is where I was recommended to post it, but I'll re-post in that one and delete here.

    Fucking n00b syndrome, I know.

    ETA: Can't delete from this end, at least on my browser...or I'm STILL a moron and just can't figure it out. Either way, hereby requesting the Almighty Mods to wield their magic powers and remove my shame from the world.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2008
  4. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    I like these types of stories-- companion stories that talk about what happens in the background of stories that have already been written, like for instance "Ender's Shadow." I wish your story had started before this term of Hogwarts started instead of in class, but I like what I've read thus far.
     
  5. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

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    I found this a week and a half or so ago, when I was voting for DLP authors on the Quibbler Awards. I was impressed.

    Anything not Harry-centric is usually not my forte, and nor, I would guess, would most DLP members consider it theirs. However, I was intrigued after seeing how Neville turned out in DH, and figured that if this one was meant to be canon-similar, it could be fun to read. I'm glad I stuck with it.

    Instead of wandering all over God-knows-where with no plan like Harry, Ron, and Hermione were forced to do in canon, Neville and the DA start working their asses off in school, preparing for the battles ahead. I liked the transformation this made in many characters, and how Thanfiction portrayed the transformations as well.

    That said, the story can be long-winded in places. As pointed out by the author, it also sticks closer to canon in places than some readers would like. That doesn't mean we get a DH regurgitation, however, since we get to read more about what happens outside of our line of sight in DH.

    I'll reiterate for those who aren't fans of anything other than Harry-centric stories...this one probably isn't your cup of tea. However, if you like reading stories where the main character is strong, but realistic, this could be fun for you.

    5/5 from me...with high expectations for the follow up.
     
  6. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Okay, I'll admit it: I read the first chapter and then skipped straight to the climax. The idea of reading what was happening at Hogwarts is interesting, but I just couldn't bring myself to read a story to which the conclusion I already knew from canon. Reading the end from Neville's point of view was fun though.

    I won't rate it as I didn't really read it, but from what I did read it was very good.
     
  7. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    This is legit, but I found Neville deciding Dumbledore's mistakes weren't that serious to be an unsatisfying way to wrap things up after everything Snape did. Perhaps even more than Harry, Neville felt the brunt of Dumbledore's harebrained "plan". And unlike Canon Harry, whose personal relationship with Dumbledore was so strong all the manipulations just made him trust him more, Neville has no connection to Dumbledore to make him want to forgive.

    Viewed objectively Dumbledore's plan was retarded and worked only by authorial fiat, involving large portions of refusing to tell people things for no good reason. A better conclusion would have been Neville realizing what he's lost because of Dumbledore's belief in his infallibility and the puppetmaster approach and and resolving to change the wizarding world into a place where there isn't one man pulling everyone's strings.
     
  8. Thanfiction

    Thanfiction Squib

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    This is definitely true, but one must also consider in a story like this what the reader knows vs. what the character knows. Neville, even at the end, has no clue what Dumbledore's plan actually was. WE can say that was the stupidest thing ever. Neville just heard the word Horcrux during the final confrontation and STILL doesn't know that's what Nagini was. He has a vague and confusing summary from Harry during the duel and Ron's assurance that although it maybe had some gaps in it (and he still doesn't know what "it" was) it all worked out. Voldemort's dead. It's finally, finally over.

    And even though he does still have some 'hey waitaminute' issues, which I tried to acknowledge, he doesn't know the true depth of Teh Stupid as we do. He's seventeen, he's just lead an army of children into battle, faced down Voldemort, been awake almost thirty hours, fought for seven and been dealing with grieving families for another five, lost half his friends and seen things no boy - and seventeen is still a boy - should ever have to. If Ron had assured him that Dumbledore just had a brilliant talent for picking scrabble tiles that spelled out tactics, Neville would have been willing to accept it at that point.

    Of course, give it all five years to brew and fester....

    And we have "Sluagh," in which the PTSD that was hinting around Seamus in the RoR at the end comes to a truly spectacular head and the bill to the wizarding world for what they allowed to happen in DH comes due. And then there's "A Peccatis," in which Harry's acceptance of Dumbledore Knows All finally has to be confronted in light of the events of the previous book, and we get his actual journey to become an active, adult hero, not a passive tool of fate and others.
     
  9. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

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    Would've done it when I posted, but I'm afraid I'm out of my area here. Looks like someone got it though. :awesome
     
  10. pieman3141

    pieman3141 First Year

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    I personally loved the story. A great Ender's Shadow-ish story. It's also more adult than what JKR would've written, too.

    That said, I agree that Neville's acceptance of the stupidity, and how that was glossed over was a bit hard to swallow. I'll have to read Sluagh (???), but maybe. Then again, I've never been in, or know anybody that's been in a situation like you've described, so what do I know?
     
  11. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

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    Whats with all the Pie/Paimon?
     
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Piemon refers to the Digimon that resembles a clown. Due to the enormous popularity of the Joker, people that use that as a username to pay homage.
     
  13. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

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    I dun think it's to pay homage, it's more likely so they can be a Sheep. >_>
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2008
  14. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Headmaster

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    I thought it was fantastic, as a whole. Got a little wordy near the end, and Snape was a little too evil considering he was suppose to be a good guy in the end. But it was good to see a story about what happened at Hogwarts during the Horcrux hunt.

    Some very good ideas along the way. And I really like how some of them died in the last battle... melting!!! that's gotta hurt.

    5/5
     
  15. Thanfiction

    Thanfiction Squib

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    I'm really hoping to improve my writing, and as there are obviously (the star ratings) several of you out there who think that this story is merely average or lower (I know it got a few fives, so to hit three, that means some ones balanced that out), I'd really like to hear from you. Was the plot predictable? The prose trite? The characterization stiff? The 'ships unbelievable? I really, really do want to know!
     
  16. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I suspect some people just don't like the idea of a Neville-centric fic.
     
  17. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    An excellent story with very few grammatical errors-- at least none that are distracting, it's going to get dinged by others because it's not Harrycentric, and stories that aren't Harrycentric are generally frowned upon here by a lot of folks (unless, of course, there is nekkid Fleur Delacour).

    5 stars.
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2008
  18. Paimon

    Paimon That fucking cat

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    This is exactly it. I, personally, can not get into any fic that isn't Harry centric.

    Thus, no matter how good your fic is, it will get hurt by that fact. Sorry.
     
  19. Mindless

    Mindless Big Boss DLP Supporter

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    This.

    filler
     
  20. DreamRed

    DreamRed Seventh Year

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    I read it awhile ago and I liked it a lot actually. Rowling included a lot of tidbits in the final book that would have had the potential to be genuinely interesting if she'd just run with it instead of going off on a rather dull crosscountry treasure hunt (see underground radio, Death Eater run school, DA rebellion). It's nice to see someone taking up the slack.

    The only downsides were the occasional moments that felt as if they'd been included to pull the story back towards the canon line and make certain actions make sense - ie. reasons for stealing the sword.

    5/5