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Abandoned Ectomancer by RustyRed - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Palver, Oct 9, 2008.

  1. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    That sounds terrible. ><

    I think Nonjon did it best, Tonks can replace Filch. :p
     
  2. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

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    I'd support a Honks pairing. Despite the fact that Honks is a pretty popular pairing these days, there has only been a few stories that have done it well. Most are just shitty independent!Harry stories that follow the same cookie cutter plots and have the same outdated cliches. I can count the number of good Honks stories on one hand.
     
  3. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    ...

    I support the abandoning of all ships and concentration on things like plot and characterisation and stuff.

    I know, I know, mad idea...
     
  4. Tharius

    Tharius Muggle

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    I think the authors going to make it so Tonk's is going to replace McGonagall, just because Tonk's is supposed to be "good" at at transfiguration since her ability.
     
  5. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    What is this madness? Everyone knows that the ship makes the fic! Why else would we write if not to put ourselves in the place of the main hero(ine) so that we may make literary love to a fictional character?!

    I shall not stand for this blasphemy! Good day sir!
     
  6. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Have a beer man, stop trying to kill the party. Everyone knows that true love happens at sixteen, but we've got fucking enough of that. We're gonna dance to the tune of plots, mysteries and action, no matter what the neighbours and the Shipping Police thinks.

    Party on!
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2008
  7. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Hey ho, dudes. Huh, I feel awkward posting in my own story thread. How's this work; do I field questions, defend stupid story decisions, or sit back and laugh maniacally while you discuss?

    Regardless, I'm getting a lot of pleasure out of seeing people speculate. :D
     
  8. The Sour Kraut

    The Sour Kraut Seventh Year

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    It's very simple: You defend every single decision you made in your story and then you listen to what we want to read and write it. Simple, isn't it? :cool: ;)

    Nah. But seriously, it would be much appreciated if you would say a thing or two about the things that were critizised here. For example: Why didn't Harry tell Dumbledore about his magic or the underground? That was about the only thing tht annoyed me.

    Welcome to DLP, by the way. Nice story. Make it Honks. :awesome
     
  9. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Ah, okay, I can do that then. :D

    Let's see... well first, and the thing that seems to have the most people riled up, is the second Dumbledore clone, and how everyone fell for the same trick twice.

    Weeell, when I wrote this, I kind of always intended for the first clone to fail, and the second to succeed. Yes, it was annoying, but if you think you're annoyed, imagine how pissed Dumbledore himself would be? Part of the point of it was to show how people implicitly trust the old man, to the point of stupidity, and to start to have this idea that it's not RIGHT. Part of the point was to show that Harry himself is too naive, and that he needs to develop some new habits. Part of it was simply a way to get Harry away--honestly, there are only so many ways it can happen, and usually someone ends up looking stupid.

    So why did they fall for it again, and how did it happen with security being what it was? Well, to be fair, I don't think you would expect the same thing twice, when the first attempt failed so utterly, when Harry was alone, no less. So who would expect the impostor to walk up to a house full of guards and simply take him? As for how the impostor managed to get through the wards--you could argue identity (the polyjuiced person was keyed to the wards) or intent (there was no intent to harm, only to take). And then there was the old man's personality--sort of the textbook Dumbledore, if you will--was very different from the first one, right? For the person controlling the imposter, it was a process of elimination for the right version of Dumbledore to snare Harry with. (fyi, you'll find out more about the methods of controlling these people in a bit, but the personalities are plucked from their own impressions of Dumbledore. Who do we know who might see Dumbledore in that 'sweet, benevolent man' sort of light?)

    Aaah, okay, so the issue of why Harry is putting off talking to Dumbledore about the Other Side.

    Well, for starters, I'm kind of trying to start from a canon point of view and building from there, and in canon, even in the best of times, Harry was never big on going and talking to Dumbledore, or sharing his problems. This isn't the best of times between them by any stretch of the word. Don't take that to mean they won't ever be honest with each other, but Harry's 16, and secretive by nature, and doesn't even know where to begin with this new problem.

    I know that might not satisfy some people, but all things in time. It had only been a week, after all, since it happened, and Harry had other things on his mind.

    As to why it's taking him so long to find out more about it--well, he's trying to be less rash, for one thing. For another thing, he has been trying to find something written about it, before he starts experimenting on his own. He won't have a choice in the matter pretty soon, but it would be sort of hypocritical of me to write how in one chapter Harry was bemoaning his reckless streak, and then in the next, have him jump headfirst into potentially dangerous situations (without even a pressing motivation, like rescuing someone!). Curiosity is good and all, but he's already had a taste of the sorts of things living there.

    I know that the lack of knowing more about it is annoying, but it would be cheap to reveal everything all at once, right?


    Ah, the last thing I can think to discuss is... the Galleon, and the Pit. Okay, there IS a reason that Voldemort hasn't attacked the ship yet, okay? And it's not any sort of retarded Dues ex machina, it's kind of common sense for the captain of the ship. That goes for why Harry isn't setting stuff on fire too (wooden ship? fire=bad).

    The guy who kidnapped him does have his motivations, obscure and convoluted as they may be. The Pit itself--well, yeah, part of that WAS just me wanting a pit fight, but it was also part of the captor's personality and what he's doing. But why did I want a Pit fight? Partly because it would be neat, as it shows parts of the less savory bits of the wizarding world, but partly because Harry needs a good motivator to start developing his talents. It ain't gonna happen at a Weasely backyard barbecue, after all. I do deeply apologize for the sense of contrived-ness (i'm sure I could have found a more graceful way to do it) but really the fallout from it will definitely serve the plot.

    Bah, hopefully that answers some questions, and soothes some concerns. :p
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2008
  10. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

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    I hope you can keep up the pace of which you've been updating.

    Fast update rate = automatic 1 point bump.

    And I agree with you about the Dumbledore thing. Honestly, who would expect someone to try the exact same trick after they failed spectacularly the first time? I know I certainly wouldn't. If you put yourself in Harry's shoes, even with him noticing something slightly off about Dumbledore the second time around, it probably wouldn't occur to him that the enemy would try the same exact trick until it was already too late, as he would have been lulled somewhat into a false sense of security. Do the unexpected, etc. etc. Just don't use the impersonation bit a third time and you're good.


    One thing I do disagree with you on is that why would a big ass magical gambling/entertainment ship not have fireproofing charms on it? The reason you gave for Harry not busting out the fire is that obviously fire + wood = conflagration. However, this is a magical ship we are talking about. One which is inhabited by people who can start a fire with a simple flick of a wand, not to mention all sorts of other shenanigans/shady stuff that undoubtedly goes down on the ship, which could potentially cause a fire. For such a profitable (I'm assuming here) and high class place, I can't imagine it not having basic safety protections on it, such as fireproofing charms and protection spells.

    Does this line of reasoning make sense?

    As long as you didn't forget (or retcon) Harry's progress so far, I'm good with it.
     
  11. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Right, that's kind of what I was getting at. Not that it's impossible to create fire at all, just that there are damping wards that keep things from catching or burning out of control. I suppose that's a pretty general idea, but I honestly didn't think it needed any more depth than that. Wooden ship, anti-fire wards, Harry doesn't start things on fire as easily. Sorry if that was unclear--there ARE preventatives in place. :p
     
  12. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Tired right now, not gonna write much.

    As long as you have a reason for it, I can totally see, and agree with you on Harry falling for Dumbledore.

    Characterization for me, is the biggest thing. If you can pull of a decent original characterization, and actually have character development in the story, i'll definitely be all for it.

    I guess we really came down kinda harsh on the story, we were all just afraid it was going to become shit like 99% of the other fics. I'm glad you came, saw, explained it, and seem to be accepting and working with our criticism. Really nice to see.

    No idea where the fuck the ship comes into all of this, but it will be interesting to see.

    Vote changed back to 5/5, for hope!

    Looking forward to more updates. :)
     
  13. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    One quick thing about the second Dumbledore, I feel it would have been much more believable if you'd only inserted a line like 'could it be another imposter? Nah, nobody would use the same trick twice'... It would make it more realistic in my mind and would likely teach Harry something about disregarding important things just because they sound unlikely, which I assume is what you are going for.
     
  14. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I disagree, since, if he had been actually thinking about if it was an imposter, he would probably notice or at least be more cautious, which would mean he'd be an even bigger idiot for falling for it.

    The point is that it's just ludicrous for it to be tried again. Which is why it works.
     
  15. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Speak for yourself, Ellisande. I have nothing to retract, I haven't voted yet, and anyone who denies me the hawt teacher I don't like anyway >_>

    I still mean exactly what I said, nothing more and nothing less.

    That issue is still in the up in the air. I'll give you that perhaps Dumbledore (or anyone, really, that would know that Harry had no plans to enter the Pit by choice) wouldn't know right at once (if the people on the ship learned of Harry only after he arrived there, that is, and the whole thing wasn't some kind of pre-scheduled fight three month in advance with ads all over the place), but eventually, he will -- and I believe, "days" is already stretching it.

    And you say, Voldemort has his reasons. I say, great, and can't wait to see them in the story :p
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2008
  16. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Er, well, I sort of went back and changed that particular line :ph34r: I guess I wasn't thinking so much on the consequences to the plot as much as I was on having the dude taunt Harry and piss him off. Buuut that was definitely a stupid oversight, and it's been changed to this:

    "You’re tonight’s Entertainment Event. People have been hearing that an overconfident young wizard wants to brave the challenge of the Pit, and without the use of his wand!"

    Serves the same purpose for the most part, without turning Harry into shark bait until afterwards. Bwahahaha, shameless editing, how I love thee... Gosh, how do I keep getting into trouble with single lines? Argh. *Must think harder about consequences when villains speak*
     
  17. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    No, that's fair enough. It removed the point I based my argument on, and in turn, the whole argument itself. If everyone knowing it'll be Harry who enters wasn't important for the plot, this was by far the easiest way to fix that particular problem; and I like easy solutions. Not bad, not bad at all.


    Edit:
    Lol, completely random: somehow I just got the idea of the Pit-fight being broadcasted via the WWN, and Dumbledore's sitting there in front of his radio, after hours of searching: "... and here's the challenger, an underdog if there ever was one: without his wand, just with bare hands, here's the hero of the wizarding world, here's Harry Potter ...!"

    Think he'll get a stroke?
     
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2008
  18. Sol

    Sol High Inquisitor

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    Dear lord, good story and a reasonable author. Hallelujah and such and so forth.

    Anyway, onto the story. So far it's been altogether enjoyable. Characterization has been consistent and well done. Especially that brief bit with Ron. I like how you've introduced your OC's and they are intriguing.

    I think that intent deal with the second impostor is kind of flaky, but I suppose it works. Curious to see who it is. Altogether, aside from a few typos, it has been excellent and engaging. Unfortunately there's not much here yet but for what you have I give it a 4.5/5.
     
  19. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    Nice work. First good Harry Potter fic I've read in a while, and it seems like most everyone else agrees. I'll take my time on giving a final rating, seeing as how nothing has come of Harry's foray into the neon world thingy and his pyro ability...

    The story is a bit too slow paced for me, but meh, the author's prerogative. Good thing you have a fast update rate and nicely sized chapters. :p

    35 ratings and nearly 5 stars, I think this story deserves to be moved to the Library.
     
  20. RustyRed

    RustyRed High Inquisitor

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    Hey guys, chapter seven is posted over at the Work by Author section, in case you wanted to have a look before I post up at ffnet.

    Hah! Damn, if only...