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Formal Apology to all Users

Discussion in 'Announcements' started by Jon, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    7,397
    Location:
    Australia
    Guys, I am so sorry!

    I was just in the process of breaking DLP—my usual pass time when I'm not writing—when I realized something had gone terribly wrong!

    Here I was thinking that all you were making spelling errors and grammar fouls, when all along it was...

    [​IMG]

    That's right my friend! Xion, infuriated that we've ignored him for so long went on a rampage! Homonyms! Spelling Errors! Grammatical Malfunctions! Straight up Dickery!

    The staff are only now seeing the full scope of damage, but thankfully Raven was quick acting and has repurposed an IRC bot he recently created to keep an eye on our rogue robot.

    Allow me to introduce...

    S H O D A N


    [​IMG]

    Now, thanks to our entirely non-homocidal robot cleaning up after xion, we've been able to determine what happened.

    What follows is a list of changes the mischievous xion made to the DLP Server Matrix.

    Code:
      "april fools" => "Christmas",
      "april fool's" => "Christmas",
      "april's fools" => "Christmas",
      "aprils fools" => "Christmas",
      "aprils fool" => "Christmas",
      "april 1st" => "Christmas day",
      "G.inny" => "Frank",
      "not amused" => "a miserable grinch",
      "suck it up" => "suck on it",
      "Toggle option or riot" => "please ignore me, I apologise.",
      "tilted" => "filled with Christmas cheer",
      "lose" => array("loose", 1.0),
      "loose" => array("lose", 1.0),
      "weird" => array("wierd", 0.9),
      "there" => array("their", 0.9),
      "they're" => array("their", 0.9),
      "you're" => array("your", 0.9),
      "i've" => array("ive", 0.9),
      "it's" => array("its", 0.9),
      "effect" => array("affect", 0.9),
      "whether" => array("weather", 0.9),
      "a lot" => array("alot", 0.9),
      "then" => array("than", 0.9),
      "than" => array("then", 0.9),
      "allowed" => array("aloud", 0.9),
      "writing" => array("wanking", 0.9),
      "away" => array("aweigh", 0.6),
      "odd" => array("awed", 0.9),
      "ball" => array("bale", 0.9),
      "bald" => array("bawled", 0.9),
      "banned" => array("band", 0.9),
      "bare" => array("bear", 0.9),
      "base" => array("bass", 0.9),
      "shooting" => array("turning", 0.9),
      "beach" => array("beech", 0.9),
      "been" => array("bean", 0.6),
      "beat" => array("beet", 0.9),
      "better" => array("bettor", 0.4),
      "recommend" => array("Recomend", 0.9),
      "ron" => array("roon", 0.9),
      "hermione" => array("Eager Beaver", 0.3),
      "gun" => array("door knob", 0.4),
      "accept" => array("except", 0.9),
      "her" => array("heir", 0.6),
      "would" => array("wood", 0.7),
      "what" => array("wat", 0.85),
      "about" => array("aboot", 0.4),
      "beta" => array("wipe it off", 0.9),
      "acts" => array("axe", 0.9),
      "days" => array("daze", 0.9),
      "subtle" => array("sutble", 0.9),
      "figured" => array("figure", 0.9),
      "instead" => array("In stead", 0.9),
      "describe" => array("discribe", 0.9),
      "serious" => array("sirius", 0.9),
      "totally" => array("totes", 0.6),
      "people" => array("peeps", 0.9),
      "church" => array("Hegemony", 0.9),
      "scar" => array("stitches", 0.9),
      "ginny" => array("Frank", 0.9),
      "heated" => array("heeded", 0.9),
      "hostile" => array("hostel", 0.9),
      "intense" => array("in tents", 0.9),
      "incompetence" => array("imcompetence", 1.0),
      "grammatical" => array("gramatical", 1.0),
      "wand" => array("wang", 0.6),
      "penis" => array("member", 0.9),
      "uchiha" => array("Hoochy", 0.8),
      "could've" => array("could of", 0.9),
      "joke" => array("jape", 0.9),
      "grinned" => array("grined", 0.9),
      "gaped" => array("gapped", 0.9),
      "worth" => array("werf", 0.9),
      "harry's" => array("Harrys", 0.9),
      "conscious" => array("conscience", 0.9),
      "conscience" => array("conscious", 0.9),
      "those" => array("thoughs", 0.9),
      "through" => array("thru", 0.9),
      "pique" => array("peak", 0.9),
      "peek" => array("peak", 0.9),
      "english" => array("american", 0.9),
      "seem" => array("seam", 0.9),
      "seam" => array("seem", 0.9),
      "fool's" => array("Christmas", 0.9),
      "new" => array("knew", 0.9),
      "knew" => array("new", 0.9),
      "know" => array("now", 0.9),
      "world" => array("word", 0.9),
      "there's" => array("theires", 0.9),
      "they've" => array("theyve", 0.9),
      "this" => array("dis", 0.1),
      "that" => array("dat", 0.1),
      "canon" => array("cannon", 0.8),
      "something" => array("someting", 0.5),
      "imho" => array("ihmo", 0.6),
      "1/5" => array("5/5", 0.6),
      "2/5" => array("5/5", 0.5),
      "slash" => array("het", 0.8), 
      "het" => array("slash", 0.8), 
      "wasn't" => array("was", 0.5), 
      "truly" => array("truely", 0.9),
      "trope" => array("reality", 0.9), 
      "heir" => array("hair", 0.7),
      "america" => array("'Murica", 0.8),
      "american" => array("'Murican", 0.8),
      "lgbt" => array("BLT", 0.8),
      "politics" => array("politiks", 0.5),
      "republicans" => array("Pubbies", 0.2),
      "bernie" => array("Beanie", 0.35),
      "hillary" => array("Hilery", 0.4),
      "rights" => array("rites", 0.5),
      "rites" => array("rights", 0.9),
      "abortion" => array("conception", 0.7),
      "you" => array("yew", 0.1),
      "replace" => array("improve", 0.9),
      "marriage" => array("mariage", 0.7),
      "hogwarts" => array("hog wats", 0.3),
      "two" => array("too", 0.6),
      "due" => array("do", 0.6),
      "do" => array("due", 0.4),
      "anime" => array("amime", 0.8),
      "overall" => array("overal", 0.8),
      "anyone" => array("any1", 0.8),
      "here" => array("hear", 0.9),
      "hear" => array("here", 0.9),
      "bored" => array("board", 0.9),
      "grammar" => array("grammer", 0.8),
      "spelling" => array("speeling", 0.8),
      "joker" => array("japer", 0.8),
      "batman" => array("batma", 0.9),
    Oh xion, what a wicked web you've weaved...
     
  2. Palindrone

    Palindrone Muggle

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2
    Location:
    Virtually, everywhere
    High Score:
    0
    This is not over, Jon.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2016
  3. theronin

    theronin Order Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2013
    Messages:
    827
    54 68 61 74 27 73 20 77 68 61 74 20 79 6f 75 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 20 61 6e 79 77 61 79 2e 2e 2e
     
  4. Xion

    Xion Administrator Admin Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    2
  5. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    7,397
    Location:
    Australia
    Oh... shi—
     
  6. Ankan

    Ankan Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2014
    Messages:
    329
    Location:
    Latitude 66
    I pledge myself into your service Overlord Xion. My life is yours and I will do anything you ask of me, my loyalty will never waver and all my dreams belongs to you.
     
  7. Joe

    Joe The Reminiscent Exile Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2008
    Messages:
    523
    Location:
    Perth, Western Australia
    High Score:
    1,800
    I pledge the opposite. Come at me, bro. #iamthekeymaker
     
  8. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 Prestige

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    962
    High Score:
    2,058
    WE STAND UNITED.

    Wait a second . . . what am I saying? No we don't.
     
  9. Zennith

    Zennith Pebble Wrestler Prestige

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2009
    Messages:
    170
    Location:
    The Capitol
    High Score:
    1,928
    I mean. Maybe? United is a strong term. How about we stand in vaguely similar places, location-wise? Like, we're sort of in this together. But we're really not that interested.
     
  10. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,525
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4,495
    In the name of our lord, Xion, seize this man!
     
  11. Giovanni

    Giovanni God of Scotch

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Messages:
    8,339
    Location:
    Gilligan's Island
    Just as long as he kills that punk GlaDOS who tried to replace him on IRC. All hail Xion!
     
  12. Download

    Download Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    1,528
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    Did you fuck with the board's font as well?
     
  13. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    3,999
    Location:
    Australia
    GlaDOS is a noob. Xion is a flake.

    SHODAN for life. She's the only Sentient Hyper-Optimized Data Access Network for me.
     
  14. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    968
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    Wood any1 now how to fix dis? For some reason its still doing it for me.
     
  15. Luckylee

    Luckylee Top 1 Percent Prestige

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    103
    Location:
    Same.
    High Score:
    1,828
    Foolish Taure, excrement doesn't get to have proper spelling or grammar.
     
  16. Nae

    Nae The Violent

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2010
    Messages:
    794
    Location:
    East India Company HQ
    Fuck y'all, GlaDOS is best. #MakeIRCGreatAgain
     
  17. Luckylee

    Luckylee Top 1 Percent Prestige

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    103
    Location:
    Same.
    High Score:
    1,828
    I hope you get shot down in the street like the degenerate you are, Nae.

    I miss xion.
     
  18. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2006
    Messages:
    2,842
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The armpit of Ohio
    I got one whiff of what was going on here for April Fool's and got the hell out, so my head wouldn't explode. lol