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Freedom has a Price by Bleedndreamz - M - Naruto

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Starwind, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2010
    Messages:
    1,075
    Title: Freedom has a Price
    Author: Bleedndreamz
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure:
    Pairing: Naruto x Mei
    Status: Incomplete
    Summary: Naruto had a problem. He had no one to train him for the chunin exams, but more importantly, he had no one in life there for him that would also judge him. So naturally he was desperate. Yet you know what they say... "Desperation only attracts vultures."
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6192176/1/Freedom_has_a_Price

    I enjoyed the story, it got captured my interest because of the ninja-ish feel to the story. Some things bothered me like a skill Naruto learns for the Chunin Exams final and Mei being a little touch of a marysue, sort of like how the author made Daphne one in his HP fic, but the story was in the top ten of Naruto fics I've read, imo... it captured my attention and made me interested in it, and although some parts where rpedictable, it was enjoyable.

    3.5/5
     
  2. Deplore

    Deplore Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    234
    Chapter 1 is filled with grammatical mistakes. When I got to Mei, my SI alarm is ringing.

    So, according to the author notes, he/she is very big on character development... and yet doesn't bother to explain how Mei happens to know everything about Naruto, including how many friends he has and people he's acquainted with. Hell, according to the first chapter, the Mist village is weaker than before, equaling Hidden Village of Snow or w/e, and yet it has a top notch intelligence organization that keep taps on all events, including jinchurriki's?

    No, I do not buy it.

    This is not promising. Nevertheless, I'll read a couple more chapters.

    EDIT:

    Getting through chapter 2 was painful. I couldn't go past chapter 3. It's filled with cliché upon clichés.

    2/5
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2011
  3. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,065
    Location:
    Australia.
    High Score:
    3694
    Read this a while ago. Filled with inconsistencies.

    Hiruzen not killing the bitch who wants to take his adopted grandson/most powerful weapon from him because Naruto likes her? Fuck off.

    Guilty pleasure if you can suspend your disbelief and aren't huge on perfect spelling and grammar. 2/5.
     
  4. KaiDASH

    KaiDASH Auror DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2010
    Messages:
    612
    Location:
    Australia
    The actual writing is mostly ok, apart from the grammatical errors - but the gross incompetence shown by the Konoha ninja is just ridiculous and the Mizukage just strolling around in Konoha without care?

    2/5 at best, many much better naruto stories around.
     
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