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WIP Grow Young With Me by Taliesin19 - T

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Steelbadger, Oct 8, 2015.

  1. Miner

    Miner Professor

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    Well, for those of you wanting to see the big reveal of magic, it happened in the most recent update.

    And boy, for the first time, I really loved the update. I think that, for those of you who complained about the almost artificial saccharine feel to the story (I was one of them), with everything cleaned up rather nicely (I think this was Newcomb), well, this is the chapter where it seems like there's actually some cracks and problems with the characters.

    Even though the fight between Abby and Harry isn't instantly resolved and well, Abby's personal life problems that we got a glimpse of in a previous chapter (don't remember which, it was the one where a stranger called about the letter that she ripped up) come up again towards the end.

    Not sure if I'd bump the rating up yet, but, well, I'm looking forward to this story more than before now.
     
  2. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    I thought this chapter was utterly terrible. Predictable, clichéd and the entire thing felt just like another boring and trite Harry/Muggle story. Considering how much I loved the story until now it's pretty damn disappointing.

    I don't think I'm even exaggerating, this was just bad. Her worries about his secrets, they both dancing around the issue, Molly's gift, that 'accidental' reveal with not even a single bit of guilt on Teddy's part, the skipped conversation that basically covered the entire reveal, the mixed reaction from the Weasley's. The only somewhat good character interaction in this chapter was the conversation with Ron and the one between Abby and that music shop guy - Olli?

    I mean, this fic was sugarly sweet romance before, with way too many emotional moments, flashbacks and conversations, but it did that well. The last two chapter have just been bland and generic to the core. It feels as if the author has no idea where to take this story and its popularity forces him/her to write anyway.

    Edit: I mean seriously, how can you even skip the revelation of magic? That's what keeps many of these Harry/Muggle stories interesting in my opinion, readers want to get another introduction to the world of magic alongside of someone.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2016
  3. Miner

    Miner Professor

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    Sorry what? How did the author skip the revelation of magic? The only thing the author skipped over was the million or so questions that I'm sure Abby would have because of the revelation of magic.
     
  4. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box Prestige

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    Eh. Skipping it is a bit of an exaggeration, but it could have been done better. I'd been guessing at an accidental Floo sighting for ages, and while I wouldn't have wanted to read twenty (thousand) questions about magic, Harry doing a couple of spells and the rest being glossed over was a little underwhelming. Still, it's not like the story is done yet - there could be whole chapters devoted to Abby's gradual exposure to magic.
     
  5. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Meh. The story has always been mediocre at the best of times, and this chapter was nowhere near that.
     
  6. at9218

    at9218 Squib

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    I enjoyed this chapter because it started to give Abby a bit more depth. It's been skirting around her having some sort of history for a little while now and it did it again in this chapter. I assume that her Father was not very good and the author is using Harry as a foil. That's why her interactions with the children are interesting to me. She is happy that they have something that she did not have.

    Definitely not the best chapter in the story, but I'm hoping that the plot picks up or starts to have more direction now.
     
  7. mendax

    mendax Squib

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    I feel like this is the classic depressed guy meets upbeat girl and she brings him out of his funk. However, this story has been able to execute that cliche reasonably well, for me, mainly because the characterisations, in particular the OC, Abby are far better than other authors. But I feel like this chapter is a bit of a step back, because there is nothing to distinguish it from other regular fanfiction.
     
  8. Avada kedabra

    Avada kedabra Squib

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    review

    Good fic, I like how the OC has a generally well defined personality and I really like the Ginny backstory about how she died i very unique.But i want more Harry/Abby interaction! Didn't really like how you handled how abby finding out about magic.
    3/5
     
  9. Miner

    Miner Professor

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    Updated

    For the most part I enjoyed the update.

    I thought the patronage idea itself was pretty interesting and unique, although I think it very unlikely that purebloods would actually go to such great lengths to preserve Muggle talent in their lives when they probably could have just invented a spell or something to give themselves musical talent. Or, you know, just practiced, which I guess they did later on, when the whole practice died out. Still I liked the idea, if not the background.

    I honestly am enjoying this more and more from when I first started, unlike some others. I dunno why, but I'm eagerly awaiting another update.
     
  10. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Look. The author just outlined the rest of the story. No need for us to read anything else.
     
  11. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box Prestige

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    Well, it's more original than I was expecting. Not sure whether I think it's daft or clever, but it's certainly different.

    She needs to explain what's going on with Abby though. There have been so many ominous hints at this stage that it's inevitably going to be either anti-climactic or hilariously OTT; better to reveal it and get it over with IMO.
     
  12. 18E

    18E Squib

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    This story reads like a train ride from New Jersey into NYC. It has all the common stops, takes forever to get there, and whenever an animal walks across the track you just roll your eyes because it means it's going to take longer to get to your destination. Maybe when you get into Grand Central there won't be a man with tourette's walking around, but you still need to take the same line in every time, and Secaucus Junction is still the worst.
     
  13. sephirothrr

    sephirothrr Squib

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    I keep failing to finish this, because I can never get over the coffee-shop scenes - I'm rather frustrated by the fact that according to fiction, the best way to deal with someone who doesn't want to talk to you is to forcibly hassle them constantly. I know nothing about the gender/life of the author, but it feels like some sort of bizarre wish-fulfillment by and angsty edgy teenager hoping that attractive people around them would just talk to them and realize how awesome they are.

    Also, like many upthread, I found the angst a little unbearable at times, and the family life very unrealistic.

    2/5 from me.
     
  14. Miner

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    What? No seriously... what?

    Harry's entire purpose in going to that cafe was to NOT have people talk to them. He gets more than enough of that in the Wizarding World. He doesn't need or want Abby to talk to him. The fact that she does is annoying, and while Rep has made good points as to why that premise is stupid, it doesn't mean that the author secretly wants people to notice her while sitting alone in a cafe looking depressed and ignoring all forms of social contact. That actually just means leave me the hell alone please.

    Also, I'm pretty sure the author makes a concerted effort to show that Abby's actions are abnormal, and that her obnoxiousness is annoying and not the norm. It's what finally makes Harry talk to her, because (assuming that he doesn't find another cafe like Rep pointed out) it's hard to ignore someone who constantly bothers you. Like, even if you're just telling them to fuck off, you're still talking to them, and eventually conversations stop becoming one liners and start becoming real conversations.

    The author's also 23 and female, if you read her profile.
     
  15. Fenraellis

    Fenraellis Minister of Magic

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    To be entirely fair, one could make the wish-fulfillment argument as being from Abby's point of view(author being the annoying person that just wants so and so person to notice/pay attention to her), in that case, but it certainly won't be me.
     
  16. fwank

    fwank Squib

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    I like the story because I really like Abby. Reading fanfiction I am not looking for realistic representation of everyday life and here you are definitely not getting that. It's cute slice of life fic with tons of adorable moments and grain of angst.

    For me what really stands out are dialogues. They are just... fluid. No other way to describe it for me.

    Also everytime new chapter comes out I reread almost whole thing ;)
    5/5
     
  17. Miner

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    I could see that if the story wasn't so very Harry-centric.

    Other than a few odd glimpses here and there, we are barely treated to anything on Abby's background. All we really know is that she's living in a flat with an Essex girl (I'm not British so I'll admit I had to look up what that meant), and that her personal life up until that point has been pretty shitty unhappy, which is why she tries to drown it all out by being her hyperactive happy self.

    Like, compared to everything we know of Harry, from the 17k word chapter on Ginny's death, to Teddy, to his children, to Ron and Hermione, even Tracey... it's nothing.

    Feel like wish fulfillment from Abby's POV would involve a lot more Abby.
     
  18. World

    World Oberstgruppenführer Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Maybe it's the Twilight school of main character charaterisation? I.e. make her so bland and undefined that every girl could imagine being her (and thus, imagine "accidentally" sliding into Harry Potter's life).
     
  19. AER23

    AER23 Squib

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    I happen to really enjoy this story. Finally I got a chance to read a fic where characters actually develope feelings for each other and it's shown in a simple, realistic way - from the slow pacing to the internal conflicts that Harry has to endure. Everyone stays in character, just like I imagined our adult heros to be in the future.

    Abby is a by far the best OC I've ever read. Some can find her annoying but for me it makes her more interesting - we don't need another Mary Sue. I hope her background will be revealed soon.

    The author has really a great talent for dialogues - it is one of the story's strongest points.
    And she knows how to develope an non-action filled plot and still keep it interesting.
     
  20. sephirothrr

    sephirothrr Squib

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    I guess I just felt unsettled by the whole dynamic - like sure, I get that Abby's actions are meant to be seen as annoying, but I just have some sort of primal revulsion to the "irritate someone until the put up with you" school of friend-making that's strangely popular in fiction.