1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Abandoned Harry Potter and the Remnants of the Soul by Cubdom - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Shezza, Jun 7, 2006.

  1. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2005
    Messages:
    1,342
    Location:
    Australia
    Title: Harry Potter and the Remnants of the Soul
    Author: Cubdom
    Rating: T
    Genre: General/Romance
    Pairing: None so far
    Chapters: 17
    Words: 101,643
    Updated: May 11, 2011
    Published: May 4, 2006
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: WIP, Post-HBP, The final battle arrived quicker than anyone expected. Voldemort’s miscalculation granted Harry a victory, but one deeply tainted by loss. Piecing together his shattered Soul, Harry must finish school and step into a society where he wields incredible power, wealth, and responsibility.
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2923561/1/


    When I first saw this summary, I decided that I would give the story a go. While it isn't brilliant, or even great, it has to be the best Post-HBP story I have read, thought that may not mean much since I've read about four in total.
    For starters, Harry so far hasn't got back with Ginny. In fact, there hasn't been a single thought about how beautiful and nice she is and how much he misses her and all of that crap.
    Secondly, it deals with a realistic version of the Death Eaters. In the second chapter, the Death Eater's mass murder 40 something Muggleborns in a single night. They are also targetting Harry's friends and succeding. Neville and Luna were pretty much fucked in Chapter Four and Bill got blasted off as well.
    Thirdly, Malfoy (D) and Snape are in this, and there is no mention of redeeming themselves or remorse for thier actions.
    Fourthly, while this may not seem like a big deal to others, Harry is his own damn Secret Keeper for Grimmauld Place. I really dislike it when Harry gives that job to Hermione or Ron...I mean, come on! My personal veiw on all secrets is that the only way to keep them safe is to keep them to yourself.

    On the con side, for Hermione/Ron haters, they play a major role in the story, though it is centered on Harry. The other genre is also romance, so there may be a chance that Harry gets back with Ginny. If it happens, it will depend on how the author writes the romance to decide if I stop reading. For me, it's not the actual character of Ginny that I hate, just the stupid preteen way that the romance is portrayed. It's the same with any character really.
    The actions scenes aren't spectacular, but a few new spells have come up, including one that severs the soul. It's meant to be used for Horcuxes, but if Harry were to throw one around it hit, say....Malfoy....well, I wouldn't be complaining.


    Checked by Minion, August 19, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2013
  2. Patrik f

    Patrik f Guest

    One of the things that I dont like is that Harry is determined to defeat Voldemort but he almost starts to cry when he kills a Gnome!! Other then that so is it a good story with Death Eaters acually being capable, not like other stories were everyone fear Death Eaters but they never seam to be able to kill their targets...
     
  3. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    Considering we're not even to the events of the summary, I think it's too early to judge the role Hermione and Ron will play.

    So far this fic seems to be killing people left and right. And with the way the summary sounds, I'm not so sure Hermione and Ron are going to be around a couple chapters from now. God willing, at least Ginny will forget to duck an AK.

    It does ring very canon-friendly, but in a far more acceptable manner than I usually associate with the concept of "canon-friendly".

    I suppose I like to see Death Eaters actually living up to the reputations for once and that's impressive. I'm looking forward to more. But I'm really looking forward to getting to the point of the fic. Because the summary makes it sound like a somewhat angsty post-Voldie fic about Harry's seventh year and introduction to politics. Though I like that there are actual spells for dealing with souls and horcruxes, making the mention of Harry's "shattered soul" in the summary somewhat ominous.

    But decent fic. Even if the "Romance" category makes me want to stab my eyeballs out.
     
  4. Cell

    Cell Gunner of The Black Poison DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2006
    Messages:
    283
    Location:
    NorCal
    It's one of the best post HBP I read also. Bella almost finished off Neville like she did to his parents.

    Don't worry bout HP/GW shipping,it's I believe Harry P./Susan B. It is under Harry and Susan category so I guess it will be them pairing off later on. The Romance is actually going pretty slow.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2006
  5. Master Slytherin

    Master Slytherin Headmaster

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2005
    Messages:
    1,157
    Location:
    London, England
    It's way too early to tell but so far it's been merely average.
     
  6. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    Wowzers. The new chapter is where everything alluded to in the summary finally takes off. It's a bit of a pussy!Harry, but it's still a great chapter and it once again feels very... canonish.

    Not that the events of this chapter are going to happen, but my complaints about them are all pretty much truisms for canon.

    I don't want to go off the deep end with spoilers, but... saying there's character death would be a gross understatement.
     
  7. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Best chapter yet. Dueling scene was stupid though. Harry is yelling out Diffindo and Stupefy at every Death Eater he sees so the whole world can know what spells he's casting, then suddenly when he sees Snape he's a master at casting silently? Bleh. Needs to be more consistant. Although, this was probably the best canon friendly ending I've ever seen.
     
  8. TheJackOFDiamonds

    TheJackOFDiamonds Third Year

    Joined:
    May 9, 2006
    Messages:
    86
    Hmm. I enjoyed the last chapter, although I agree with TheIllusiveOne about the silent casting, and the fact that he used only stunners for so long is pretty stupid, IMO. Still, I thought it was a pretty realistic battle scene, and fun to read.

    However, I think these first chapters are going to end up being superfluous. In fact, of all the things that happened in the first few chapters I think the most relevant is going to be the fact that the ministry used innocent people as scapegoats for the muggleborn massacre, just as they did with Stan Shunpike. I guarantee that will come up again when Harry is considering how effective the Ministry of Magic is and what he can do to change it. Maybe they'll be some drama with Harry's own soul after all the soul magic with Voldemort, but that will probably be a side plot. Basically, I think that the next chapter will really be the beginning of this fic, so I'll reserve judgement until then.

    -the Jack
     
  9. Athenia

    Athenia Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2006
    Messages:
    309
    To be honest, I think the these introductory chapters didn't do much beyond eliminate the main characters so the author could avoid using any of them ever again. Not that that is a bad thing, but at this point 40 something muggleborns are dead, including Dead, Seamus, Ernie, and the Creeveys. The Dursleys, the Weasleys (minus the twins and charlie), Hermione, Remus and Tonks are all dead. All the Death eaters are squibs or dead and Neville is probably catatonic. Not to mention we don't know anything about Luna.

    Short of leaving the wizarding world to become a muggle, its a perfect setup for Harry to really start doing things. There is no one left to rely on, there is no one he would feel the need to conform for or who would judge him, and he would care about, so he can easily no longer act the pushover he's been up till now. Not only would it be reasonable for a post-HBP Harry to have a complete personality transformation after this (which I'm sure we all hope he will) but nothing's holding him back anymore.
     
  10. arkeus

    arkeus Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    Ah, strangely i go against you in this. i have seen too many *let's just do a hp story where there is no Dumbledore or Voldemort, no Weasley, no Hermione, that doesn't take place at Hogwart; and with loats of new magic and friends and concepts.

    The result? an original fiction that shouldn't be put under the "Harry Potter" section anymore.

    EDIT: Well, on the plus point, the auhtor is doing a harry/susan bones, and like hp&ET from lady alchymia, the best author of HP/SusanBones out there.
     
  11. Athenia

    Athenia Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2006
    Messages:
    309
    There's a difference between picking Harry up and dropping him in a new world (like A Second Chance at Life) and simply changing some of the characters around him, but keeping in canon-world. After HBP, its hard to give Harry a personality makeover realistically without removing him from JKR's wizarding world. I think that this, while probably not the only way, is a good way to go around it and keep it believable. Obviously, we don't know if the author is going to do it. I was simply pointing out that this is one of the possibilities for the relevence behind these chapters. Without all of this backstory, it would be hard to picture a PostHBP Harry that isn't weak and reliant on Hermione and Ron.
     
  12. arkeus

    arkeus Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    Yes, i shouldn't have rushed. it's just that beyond a point of "changing", it is no longer canon-friendly. From what i gather, most around here do not like canon-friendly, but in that case, we should not make the difference too abrupt. :)

    and remnant of a soul situation comes a bit quickly. A bit like greengecko's stuff, too. At least the author got snape killed :)
     
  13. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    Yeah, there are still plenty of characters. And with this all behind them, Harry's going to have all this political clout, he will literally be expected to be the new Dumbledore, the one everyone looks to, the one whose support can literally alter legislature, etc...

    I got this response from the author after my review:
    >>True to canon. Yes, compliant. No I don't want to be true to the spirit of canon though... but it has to be believable. If you've ever read Resonance by Greengecko, I'm going for that kind of 'environment.' One that is wholly believable, while wholly unprobable.

    >>Where do we go from here? Please give me a little credit. Have you ever read a story where so many people died? Do I strike you as adhering to the old cliches? No, this story is not an angst story. Sure, Harry's going to have a tough time this summer, but it won't be about wallowing in soft pitty. Romance is in the future, but it is only a part of the ongoing plot. This story is about recovery from loss, establishing independence, learning the ways of the world, and navigating politics. Please don't give up on me for a few chapters. I think you'll like where I'm going.

    >>Tonks, sorry. Fred & George are physically unharmed. Luna and Neville will not end up like his parents. There are a handful of important people still around. Professor McGonagall is a major character in this story. Fred and George will not blame Harry. Finally, I'm writing my story, but I think you'll like it.
    I figure spoiler tags to play on the safe side. And it sounds to me like we could be going in a pretty interesting direction. Good call arkeus on the GreenGecko comparison.
     
  14. arkeus

    arkeus Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    Thanks Nonjon, but as i saw the author really liked the marvelous Emerald tablet and the quite good author greengecko from her author page, it wasn't that hard to see by whom the author was influenced.

    Sniff... hermione's dead Y_y her ending is rather ambiguous: it could be that harry's action killed her. Maybe harry will find a book later on wich described the spell she used as a "homing shield" but wich needs concentration. which is hard to have when someone is jumping you :p

    Go for mcgonagall :), while her canon character is rather hypocritical, i like her fanon one.
     
  15. cubdom

    cubdom Guest

    Hmm, a very interesting forum here. I've poked around in the past, but never spent much time. Anyhow, Nonjon sent me a link this past weekend, and so I figured I'd get a username and address some points.

    My name is Byron, I am the author of the fic in question.

    Patrick, the gnome thing was intentional. I don't want to go into it too much, but it has to do with innocence and choice. It will be a subplot in future chapters.

    On Romance: The story is indeed a Harry/Susan story. I personally find H/G distasteful, as well as the 'stupid preteen way that the romance is (usually) portrayed' in fan fics. I'd like to think the romance will be slightly less superficial, but no promises. This is one part of the story that I still have to figure out how to write without inducing a reflex action. The romance that comes will be somewhat slow in developing.

    On story arc: The first five chapters really are more of a prologue, as has been postulated above. But, the first five chapters have the beginnings of many sub-plots. The Stan Shunpike thing is indeed an issue that will be dealt with, but probably not in as 'dynamic' a method as some may desire.

    On the whole, Nonjon's description of Harry as pussy!Harry may be more apt than it should be. I prefer to think of my Harry as a character who will evolve into an extremely Slytherin!Harry... in an understated way. Conniving, ambitious, cunning. He'll know what he wants and relentlessly pursue his goals... all the while appearing less brazen than might be expected. Harry's learned a lot of lessons observing the Ferret.

    Finally, on influences. I'd say my biggest influence in fanfic is Greengecko. I really like her stories, even if I don't like Snape, and her Harry seems a little too weak. I also like Lady Alchymia... more for her writing ability than any particular stylistic quirk. I'll also list Jeconais, and Rorschach's Blot as authors that I like, but will probably not try to imitate. I wish I could write dialogue as freely as Jeconais does, but don't expect it.

    Anyhow, I do answer about 95% of my reviews, and I'll pop back in here from time to time. Feel free to email me if you want.

    Peace,
    Byron
     
  16. arkeus

    arkeus Seventh Year

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    Ouch. Slytherin!Harry? learning from Malfoy junior? hope you are going to do it well...Because this could seriously go overboard. I still don't understand why so many people believe Harry still has slytherin qualities. . it's not that i dislike a good slytherin!Harry fic, but that i don't see how he could become such after those six years at hogwart.

    I imagine that you are going to make shock!harry and changing him slowly? as i said before, i am wary of a new-world!Harry like in Greengecko, because it is no longer Harry Potter. I just have to hope you do it as well as her.

    Good luck, and so far so good.

    ps: I see you haven't said anything about Harry being responsible for Hermione's death, or him feeling like it. Is it intentional?
     
  17. cubdom

    cubdom Guest

    On Hermione. I'm not sure where that theory came from. Although there is one BIG thing that happened in the last chapter that no one seems to have noticed, Hermione's death holds no hidden agendas. I frankly feel that her character can be a little too clever for her own good sometimes.

    Hermione had the chance to duck, and instead she tried to find a magical solution. It didn't work out very well for her.

    Of course Harry is going to feel some guilt over her death... "If only I had..." but I'm desperately hoping to avoid angst-overkill.

    Slytherin!Harry. (Evolving into) Harry is shaped by his friends and their attitudes. There are two types of slytherins, those who understand what and how to get what they want as manipulators, and those who think they're slytherin because they have pureblood. Harry's going to meet the manipulators. I'm hoping to provide a more insightful, nuanced look into the other three houses. What is loyalty and hard work? What is intelligence? What is cunning and ambition? All characters in a house will have these characteristics, but they won't all be cut from the same mold.
     
  18. Vir

    Vir Centauri Ambassador ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 21, 2006
    Messages:
    11
    Location:
    Canada
    High Score:
    1,907
    One thing that I'm really grateful for is the fact that the Death Eaters were compitent although, I still believe that Harry should have been killed in Chapter five. Mostly because I find it very hard to believe that he could actually out duel Voldemort or that Voldemort would not have contingency plans in effect. But then again, I suppose that's due to JKR not really knowing the meaning on the words 'Intelligence' and 'Cunning'
     
  19. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,188
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glassboro, NJ
    I personally think that to many characters kicked the bucket. Not that I dont mind dead Ginny and Hermione etc, but the other minor characters.

    Virail, if Harry died, whats the point of the story?

    Anyways It was fairly good, just a little to many deaths for my taste.
     
  20. Athenia

    Athenia Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2006
    Messages:
    309
    I'm glad a lot of characters died. Voldemort was supposed to one of the most feared Dark Lord's in history. More than that, there was a prophecy stating that the second rise of Voldemort would be more terrible than the first. We know that Voldemort had a goal in cannon - immortality, power and removal of muggle influences. I like that he went out and did something in this fic instead of only torturing his followers. I really don't believe an 11 year long war the first time around could have been matched and topped in terror that JKR has set herself up for in the less than a year she has left. Would his followers really have come back and helped him come back to life if he didn't go out and actively kill those his followers thought inferior? This way, this fic addresses a lot of those problems.
     
Loading...