Horrifying Implications of the Harry Potter Universe

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Celestin, Mar 14, 2012.

  1. Celestin

    Celestin Master of Death

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    Another Cracked article about HP. As ever it has some better parts and worse parts, and ultimately it's nothing new, but it still gave me some thoughts.

    Going by their numbers:
    6) The author definitely had one great idea in it - imagine Harry discovering hidden room in his son's magic trunk/house (depending on how old he is) and see an altar with Voldemort's painting here. Talking painting.

    5) Standard Muggles vs. Wizards discussion aside, it's true that much of Wizards' advantage is non existing as long as they are not interested in what technology can really do and how prepare for it.

    4) Now, with this one I don't completely agree. They don't learn math and how they can use it interacting with the world, because they learn magic and how they can use it interacting with the world. Magic rules they lives the same as physics rules ours.

    3) This is weak point and not very well though. The only existing careers are the one that are needed in some ways. It's like complaining about the progress taking people's jobs.

    2) Yes, the Marauder's Map can be used in more ways in gathering information about people than is usually used even in the fics. Think of all this possible blackmail material. Also, this Easter egg makes me laugh every time.

    1) And this is true and usually downplayed by everybody. To quote from the article:

    Now, I think Wizards are simply used to it from their births and it's their own minds that don't let them dwell on these implications for their own wellbeing. But Muggle-borns? I could see more than one of them having a mental breakdown once they learn more and more ways of making everything around them a one, big lie.
     
  2. KHAAAAAAAN!!

    KHAAAAAAAN!! Troll in the Dungeon Prestige DLP Supporter

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    People have been discussing most of this crap since the third book and the general conclusion to any debates that arise is "because magic".

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm rather positive that a living wizard must sit for a painting to have his or her thoughts/personality conveyed to the portrait.

    {Imagined scenario of Voldy sitting for a painting}

    "Turn your head a little to the left, my Lord."

    "Like this?"

    "A little more... a little more... now tilt your chin up and give me a look that says, 'I'm a sassy little minx.'"

    "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

    {End}
     
  3. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    That quote just doesn't work. "Imagine living in a world where anybody ..." yeah, but that's not the HP world, then. And so the following reasoning is baseless.

    Indeed, it works the other way round: During Voldemort's first rise, where you had competent wizards running around using that kind of magic, people are specifically said to be fearful, that it was a time where no one trusted anyone, and even families broke apart in mistrust. It's exactly the above description, which therefore is Canon -- when the points (magic used to manipulate, intimidate, seed fear and mistrust) were an issue. After 1981, they were no longer.

    The mistake the article makes, apart from assuming that anybody can actually use complex spells such as the obliviation charm, is looking at it from a magicless perspective (why am I not surprised). What it comes down to, time and again, is Fudge's sentence in HBP, when the PM assumed that very POV: The other side has magic too. It balances out.


    And I'm not even going to bother to read the rest of the points.
     
  4. Bill Door

    Bill Door The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, I've seen every single one of these points done in one of the shitty do-over fanfics. None of these ideas are new or even particularly good.
     
  5. wolf550e

    wolf550e High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    I see no reason in canon for Wizarding Britain to not be a completely lawless society. For that, either everyone is competently protected at all times or law enforcement is very good at finding and prosecuting the culprits after the fact. I see no evidence of either.
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2012
  6. Zenzao

    Zenzao 500 Club King Prestige DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    I shall give you one reason;

    Dementors.
     
  7. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman Moderator DLP Supporter

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    It's the same as arguing, if you allow everyone to carry a gun all the time, people will permanently shoot each other.

    No, they don't. The number of shootings might be higher in the US than in Germany, but there still are some US-Americans alive - even in Texas.

    For one there is a working law enforcement - perhaps not overly efficient and quite corrupt, but it was able to arrest several top ranking Death Eaters. Whe know that the DMLE is capable of dealing with criminals and certainly is able to keep people from obliviating each other.

    Then there are the points already mentioned: Wizards are equally armed, and they live in a functioning society with social standards. You just don't hex your neighbour if you don't want to get hexed either. If you behave like an asshole the other will treat you like one. It's a basic principle of humans living together.
     
  8. Celestin

    Celestin Master of Death

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    But that only works when the other guy will remember you hexed him. Or to use the canon - look at Lockhart. One guy, without much talent and with just one memory spell managed to become a celebrity of the Wizarding World. And as long as he only erases memories that nobody else shares with the target there is no way (as far as we know) to discover it.
     
  9. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure that I've said this before, but I can't remember which thread. My opinion (also ties into one of the points in Cracked's article) is that the Ministry is so large and ridiculously bureaucratic for such a small society, is to fundamentally tie a large percentage of the wizards into the power structure and thus legitimise it. Otherwise you're right, there's absolutely no way that wizards would have a society at all.
     
  10. Olivia Kingston

    Olivia Kingston Fake Flamingo Prestige DLP Supporter

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    The biggest problem I had here was that they acted like the map wasn't unique. They talk as if the map can simply be used by anyone to cause others trouble. The point about Fred and George is a little off because those guys aren't really going to give two fucks about Gryffindor tower, so they would never notice Peter with Ron or Percy.
     
  11. Jeopardizer

    Jeopardizer First Year

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    Dude, two points:

    -Do you live in the constant fear that your identity or credit card number will be stolen? Are living like everybody and their mother could just take a knife or a gun and kill you? Answer: NO. It's no different for the magic side. Sure, everyone has the means to kill, but if you are not in an era of warfare, the threat doesn't seem real.

    -Raël. Liars, Frauds and whatever exist in the real world too.
     
  12. lilandriss

    lilandriss Second Year

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    ROTFLMAO! Can I just say thank you for this? I'm in a lot of pain and needed that laugh.
     
  13. Scrib

    Scrib The Chosen One

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    Hmm. Honestly I'm underwhelmed, there's some "horrific" stuff in the HPverse, but the author decided to skip those, perhaps because they were obvious. As it stands, the final point is the only real interesting one,if only because of the mention of love potions, which have been a pet peeve of mine forever.

    And yes, the author does at times look at things as a Muggle would, but the fact remains that if a wizard can get the drop on another wizard they can seriously fuck them up. Wiping memories is the least they can do. Which is why I suppose Azkaban is so horrific; so no one will want to take the chance of going to prison.
     
  14. Fiat

    Fiat The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    The author is one of a few dozen Cracked writers who got their article approved on the basis of being able to spell and will never slip anything through the vetting process again.

    Bad article is bad and, honestly, so bad that it's depressing. They've already had a 'horrifying implications of the HP universe' article - this one is just "Hey, look, I read like 4 Indy!Harry Fics and now I'm qualified to write articles for the internet!"
     
  15. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    Cracked.com: 6 Horrifying Implications of the Harry Potter Universe

    Handy little link.

    Apologies in advance to anyone who ends up losing a couple hours from browsing the rest of the site.
     
  16. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    ... it's still retarded. :|
     
  17. KHAAAAAAAN!!

    KHAAAAAAAN!! Troll in the Dungeon Prestige DLP Supporter

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  18. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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