1. The second prompt is revealed! (Q2 2018)

    "Breaking into Snape's office in the middle of the night was a risky move at the best of times..."

    Deadline is June 18th, also known as the 22nd Anniversary of a seriously sad day—a tremendously black day for anyone.

    As with before you can check out the new thread discussing scoring, rules, and other such matters in the in the Story Competitions forum.

    Dismiss Notice

If I Gave You A...

Discussion in 'Flash and Spam Games' started by Xiph0, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,755
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    I'd pick Sarah McLachlan and hope she's as sexy as her name. x)

    If I gave you a one-way ticket to Hell...
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  2. The Deadman

    The Deadman Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2008
    Messages:
    192
    Location:
    Florida
    I'd lie and say it was a ticket to heaven and sell it.

    If I gave you a blow-up doll, a piece of meat, a lion, and access to George Bush's house.
     
  3. Dethklok

    Dethklok Order Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    839
    Location:
    The power of Christ compels him not to tell you.
    Fuck Celine and Melissa. I just looked up Sarah McLachlan.

    She looks good. I'd sex her up and down and all around, for that matter.

    As for the blow-up doll, the piece of meat, tne lion, and access to G.W.'s house, it looks like poor George W. just became the latest casualty of the animal kingdom and I got a steak to slap on the grill!

    The blow-up doll for a lonely, rainy day when no one's around.

    If I gave you a hammer, Maury Povich, and a canary....
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2009
  4. Krogan

    Krogan Alien in a Hat Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2007
    Messages:
    161
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    High Score:
    2,719
    I'd let the Canary free near him to distract him then kill him with the hammer, no one needs to hear "You are not the father" anymore.

    If I gave you a sniper rifle, five bullets and free ticket out of jail...
     
  5. Dethklok

    Dethklok Order Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2008
    Messages:
    839
    Location:
    The power of Christ compels him not to tell you.
    About Maury...

    What I hated the most was when Maury said 'You are the father', and these stupid bitches started running up in the man's face, waving their hands, trash talking, crying, acting like they won something.

    Didn't this guy just deny you and your snot nosed brat five minutes ago? I can see why...

    As far as a sniper rifle, five bullets, and a free ticket out of jail...

    Bullet #1: The asshole Fox executive who killed Firefly. Loved that show.

    Bullet #2: Dick Cheney. He's that fucking shady. Much more than Bush.

    Bullet #3: Random bystander. I just want to know what God feels like, smiting people....

    Bullet #4: The mayor of any American city. I want to stir up some shit...

    Bullet #5: One of those fuckers in the train stations who cover themselves in the metallic paint and play at being 'statues' for money. Just annoying.

    If I gave you a jump rope, roast pork Lo Mein, and a pair of boxing gloves...
     
  6. Poytin

    Poytin The Arby's Hipster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,070
    Location:
    Nevada
    I'd train the next Rocky while eating roast pork Lo Mein.

    If I gave you a nickel, an electric drill and a small child...
     
  7. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,755
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    I'd put the nickel in his knee.

    If I gave you Knox and a medieval rack...
     
  8. Sorrows

    Sorrows High Inquisitor Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2008
    Messages:
    543
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    High Score:
    1,819
    I'd hand Knox the rack and tell him where you are hiding.

    If I gave you a cheese greater, a model of the Eiffel Tower and a airtight alibi...
     
  9. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,087
    Location:
    At the crossroad where the demon lies. Waiting to
    I would take mah date to the Eiffel tower and serve her food with freshly grated cheese.

    Also WHY DO ASSHOLES KEEP USING ME?!

    If I gave you any spaceship from SG1, a Blond model, a planet and a camera.
     
  10. The Deadman

    The Deadman Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2008
    Messages:
    192
    Location:
    Florida
    I'd screw the model on the ship floating around a planet taking pictures of me doing the model.

    If I gave you a thousand dollars, two bags of weed, and a gun.
     
  11. Inquisition

    Inquisition Canadian Ambassador to Japan DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    964
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Orléans
    I'd shoot you, take your wallet, sell the weed, and stick it all in the bank. And the gun would be kept hidden in my sock drawer.

    If I gave you a popsicle stick, a pair of paperclips, an elastic band, and a toothpick...
     
  12. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,755
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    I'd make a slingshot and shoot Knox in teh balls.

    If I gave you a lifesize model of Buttercup from Powerpuff Girls...
     
  13. Lindow

    Lindow Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2007
    Messages:
    448
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA, USA
    ...I'd have my own personal super hero sex slave.

    If I gave you a shark tank, Bill Gates, and a big black dildo...
     
  14. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,087
    Location:
    At the crossroad where the demon lies. Waiting to
    I would hang with Bill Gates while we call you gay, You will be dangling over the shark tank with the Dildo as your only weapon of defense.


    If I gave you a Laser Pointer and a Paintball gun at a republican convention. With No security within a five mile radius.
     
  15. Krogan

    Krogan Alien in a Hat Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2007
    Messages:
    161
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    High Score:
    2,719
    I'd give them the gun, tell them your a democrat and an illegal immigrant and use the laser to point you out, then watch them gang rape you with the gun.

    If I gave you Jessica Alba, five pounds of peyote and the launch codes to all the US nukes with unfettered access to the consoles...
     
  16. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery Prestige

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    169
    High Score:
    3,065
    I'd let Jessica decide what to do because she's so fucking sexy.

    If I gave you Jonas Brothers Tickets...
     
  17. NightFox

    NightFox Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2007
    Messages:
    206
    Location:
    New York
    I'd burn them.

    If I gave you a fork, a matchstick, and a bottle of barbecue sauce.
     
  18. goldenwolfeye

    goldenwolfeye Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2007
    Messages:
    238
    Location:
    A tree, not a closet
    Id light a cig, cover the fork in the sauce and stab Cheney with it.

    If I gave you a dancing banana, a penny, and some cool whip.
     
  19. White Rabbit

    White Rabbit Hippity Hoppity DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2008
    Messages:
    979
    Location:
    Arkansas
    I'd be the happiest prostitute this side of the Ozarks.

    If I gave you a starving African child, an all you can eat buffet, and a trip to the Antarctic Circle...
     
  20. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2006
    Messages:
    1,087
    Location:
    At the crossroad where the demon lies. Waiting to
    I would drop Starvin-Marvin off in the Arctic and go chow down on sum grub.


    If I gave you A soda bottle, a tube of lube, a squirrel and Oz.