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If I Gave You A...

Discussion in 'Flash and Spam Games' started by Xiph0, Jan 4, 2009.

  1. meatzman2

    meatzman2 Backtraced

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2008
    Messages:
    526
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    The summary destruction of the Village People's attempts at a comeback tour.

    If I gave you a shot of vodka, a vacuum cleaner and the July edition of Playboy from 1976...
     
  2. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2008
    Messages:
    993
    Location:
    Nova Scotia, Canada
    I'd give the vacuum to a woman, get drunk and fap.

    If I gave you a turban, a plane ticket to America and a squirt gun...
     
  3. Wildfeather

    Wildfeather Seventh Year Prestige

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2007
    Messages:
    266
    Location:
    Florida
    High Score:
    2,011
    I'd never make it on the plane.

    If I gave you a notebook, a pencil, three rubber bands, a cell phone, and an empty gum wrapper...
     
  4. Inquisition

    Inquisition Canadian Ambassador to Japan DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    964
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Orléans
    My name would MacGyver.

    If I gave you a porno mag and a week's supply of condoms...
     
  5. Solomon

    Solomon Heir

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2007
    Messages:
    2,744
    Location:
    Minnesota
    I'd stash the condoms and fap away.

    If I gave you a flashlight, a box of tissues and a trash bag filled with empty cans of soda...
     
  6. Custer

    Custer Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,413
    Location:
    Custer National Cemetary
    I'd beat the fuck out of you for giving me useless shit. If I airdropped you in Washington DC along with a gun with a single bullet...
     
  7. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,755
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    I'd find you and shoot you.

    If I gave you a CD player, a box of matches and left you on a desert island...
     
  8. Sorrows

    Sorrows High Inquisitor Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2008
    Messages:
    543
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Edinburgh
    High Score:
    1,819
    I'd burn your CD player and sunbathe.

    If I gave you a trained monkey butler and a big of grenades...
     
  9. A.K.$J6-J5

    A.K.$J6-J5 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Messages:
    277
    Location:
    London
    Remake king Kong with american airport sequrity
    If I gave you OZ address, a stun gun, a bottle of lube and a horse...
     
  10. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,755
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    I'd show that horse a good time.

    If I gave you a Friends DVD box-set, a shoe-horn and a jumbo-sized tube of toothpaste...
     
  11. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,265
    I'd show you how to get that Friends box-set past customs.

    If I gave you a cactus, a picture of Meatloaf and the holy hand grenade of Antioch
     
  12. oakes

    oakes Auror DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    672
    Location:
    Turkey
    I'd make you sit on that grenade, fap to the picture and lick the cactus.

    If I gave you a glass of martini and an unexplainable rash?
     
  13. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2006
    Messages:
    894
    Location:
    The Shire
    High Score:
    9,373
    I'd phone the police.

    If I gave you a head of lettuce, some marmalade and former President George W. Bush?
     
  14. A.K.$J6-J5

    A.K.$J6-J5 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Messages:
    277
    Location:
    London
    Throw the lettuce at your head then using the marmalade as lubricant take turns raping with bush
    If I gave you pics of naked Jennifer Lawrence,Taures Facebook password and a spoon...
     
  15. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    3,236
    Location:
    Australia.
    I'd ask you why you felt the need to use 'raping' and 'Bush' in the same sentence. Then I'd challenge you to a duel with the spoon.
    If I gave you a guide on how to steal and pilot a space shuttle?
     
  16. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2013
    Messages:
    2,130
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Holy Moose Empire
    High Score:
    1,826
    I'd use the shuttle to woo hot nerdy females.

    If I gave you Zeus' thunderbolt and a hydrogen-powered moose...
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2014
  17. Riley

    Riley Alchemist DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2007
    Messages:
    2,335
    Location:
    On The Eastern Seaboard, USA
    I'd become Captain Canada and save the world on my Flying Moose of Death.

    If I gave you a bottle of sup[er glue, a fire ant colony and a Life size carboard cut out of Bill Murray.....
     
  18. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,265
    I'd superglue your ass to the ground near the fire ant colony, give you a laptop, put the poster of Bill Murray in the background as inspiration and not let you go until you finished that fic we discussed once. ;)

    If I gave you an Ikea catalogue, a chain saw and a toupe...
     
  19. oakes

    oakes Auror DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    672
    Location:
    Turkey
    I'd put the toupe on Ikea catalog's top then start working as a travelling ventriloquist, after spending years and years as a performer, I'd finally notice that it's only a catalog and I'd become enraged and murder everyone with the chain saw.

    If I gave you 3 elephants, one bullwhip and a strip club...
     
  20. Legacy

    Legacy Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    750
    I'd use the whip to motivate my lazy slacker elephants into top racing shape to perform in my elephant powered mobile strip club. Of course the elephants would perform for the boys in the club as well, no reason to discriminate.

    If I gave you a robot belly dancer, a well done 10oz steak, a rolls royce and zombie John Pinette....