Tell the lamest joke you know. Starting off...

My dad was a pistol so that makes me a son of a gun...

 

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"I eat mop"
"I eat mop who?"
"Haha you eat your poo"

or..

Did you hear the one about the evil tuna? He was rotten to the albacore.. <3 Spongebob

 

Person 1: In order to work for this company, you have to be a doer, son. You have to be a doer.
Person 2: Do her? I don't even know her.

Or some variation of it.

....What? You said you wanted lame.

 

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."

 

Did you guys hear about the circus fire?

It was intense!

 

Why does the tiger chase the deer?

He wants fast food.

 

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What's black and white and black and white and black and white?
A nun falling down the stairs.

What's black and white and red all over?
A nun that's been stabbed.

Lame, but funny .

 

You guys are so lame, lol.

Three guys walk in to a bar. The fourth one ducks.

 

What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

 

- Hey monkey, what's that you're eating?
- An apple.
- An apple... B-but why is it so... brown?
- Well, that's the second time I'm eating it.

 

1- A man walks into a bar... ouch

2- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....

......a stick

3-Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

4- Knock knock

Who's there?

Little boy blue

Little boy blue who?

Michael Jackson

 

I laughed .

 

Two muffins are in an oven.

One turns to the other and says holy shit it's hot in here

The other muffin says holy shit a talking muffin!!!!

 

What's worse than lobsters on a piano?

.

..

...

Crabs on the Organ XD

 

All from Fallout 3

I was going to the clairvoyant's meeting, but it was canceled due to unforeseen events.

It is common knowledge that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives.

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?".

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" to which the first replies "I'm positive."

A neutron walks into a bar. "How much for a drink?" To which the bartender responds, "For you, no charge."

 

A pirate walks into a bar with a huge wheel on his belt.

Bartender says hey you know there's a wheel on your belt?

Pirate replies Yarrrrrr it's driving me nuts!

 

A termite walks into a bar and asks 'is the bartender here?