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Abandoned Lessons by k-rock22 - T - HP/AJ

Discussion in 'Romance' started by madeyemoody, Apr 3, 2006.

  1. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Regardless of my hate for Draco (and I can't seem to summon any positive feelings for him, regardless of the circumstances) I still thought it was a good chapter. So it's not that you didn't write it well (quite the contrary), it's that there's nothing you could possibly write that would make me sympathetic to Draco.

    I'll confess that I'm a bit worried that you're setting up a "poor little abused Draco, it's not his fault and he deserves our pity" because I can't go there after what he's done in this story OR in canon. (If everybody at Hogwarts lined up and kicked Draco in the junk I still wouldn't feel sorry for him...)

    Anyway, I didn't think Albus was out of character. If Dumbledore has ever attempted to reign Snape in at any point over his treatment of Harry, I've seen no evidence of it.

    -Sean
     
  2. k_writer

    k_writer Groundskeeper

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    You know, to tell you the truth, this whole side plot with Draco is not really about him. I wanted to reveal a dynamic with Snape, Lucius, Narcissa, and others -- Draco is the vehicle that I'm using to get to that...if that makes any sense at all?

    I don't hate the Draco I've created, I'm sure that much is obvious, but I do think that even though he's a little shit where everyone else is concerned, he matters to someone. He's is loved, despite his nastiness, by his mother and by Snape.

    I like the idea that evil little creeps get love too, by other creeps. But anyway, Draco has indeed taken up too much of my story, so in "Lessons" this was the last chapter devoted entirely to him.

    I'm so glad that despite my Draco stuff you're still enjoying my writing. I appreciate that.
     
  3. Afiz

    Afiz First Year

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    I just recently discovered "Lesson", and I can't say how much I'm impressed by it. I like a good romance fic everyonce in a while, and this one is definately way up there on my list.

    Also, checked out your other work, Mightly impressed I am.
     
  4. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Hi Kendra-

    Read the new chapter and loved it. I never really considered any effects from the way that Fred and George left Hogwarts might have on their friends.

    There's still a fair bit of tension between Angelina and Harry, no? I can appreciate what she's trying to do w.r.t. Malfoy, but I think that ultimately she's pissing into the wind.

    Since Harry's borne the brunt of a few of DD's attempts to save bad people from their bad decisions, I suspect that the best anybody could expect Harry to do for Malfoy (or Snape) is dowgrade them from "active hatred" to "utter contempt." It's a start, right?

    Anyway, hope everything is going well, look forward to more, and if you don't post between now and then have a Merry Christmas.

    -Sean
     
  5. Vtigo

    Vtigo Second Year

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    I have enjoyed this fic so far, I just hope it wont end up like so many fic's in the past. I still cant get that damn fic out of my mind I read over two years ago, had Harry's gf get raped by malfoy then she became friends with malfoy. *hits head on the wall*
     
  6. Theophany

    Theophany First Year

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    This story amazes me in so very many ways.

    The characterization is very, very good for a fanfiction, especially where so many authors completely fail to grasp what Harry's true nature is; his passion/shyness/anger is captured so very well in this fic. AJ is very, very well-developed; she has taken on a third dimension for me as a reader in this fic, as have the twins through their friendship and interaction with AJ.

    One thing that I didn't expect when I saw an AJ/HP pairing though, was the lack of Katie/Alicia development. I had always read the HP books to mean that the Chasers on the Gryffindor team were a very tight group; and from how I'm reading this fic, they're not, nor are they intended to be by the author. Shocking, I suppose.

    Anyway, I really do enjoy this fic. Descriptions and characterization are what really get me interested in a fic, and this one has both. I'll be watching for updates closely.
     
  7. k_writer

    k_writer Groundskeeper

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    I updated, and am currently typing away the next chapter. I'm kind of on a roll. GOD I WANT TO FINISH THIS STORY!

    Interesting...in reading jbern's "Bungle...", Yarrgh's "Chimera", and Thalarian's "Ladies of..." I have begun to amend my grasp of Harry's character. I have started to realize fully, finally, what Nukular Winter and jp82 (among others) have been trying to convey to me this whole fucking time.

    I know I can't just switch Harry up now that I'm so far into the story, but I know now that some serious shit needs to go down.

    Most of this will be reflected in the sequel, which I have already started on, but towards the end of "Lessons" I hope to improve my Harry.

    I don't know if the authors mentioned above will approve of my having found this "inspiration" through reading their stuff, but it's more than just
    "oh Harry should be missing one arm in my story, too!"

    I'm talking using the concepts that are presented in their stories to fuel my own character arch for my Harry in "Lessons". Does that make sense?

    Hmmm...anyhooo...I am thinking, thinking....thinking is good.
     
  8. Theophany

    Theophany First Year

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    Just finished the latest chapter; brilliant is all I can say.

    Well, maybe that's not all... There are a few grammatical and spelling errors, but they're very minor and scattered. I'm enjoying seeing how such a seemingly inconsequential thing like AJ being in a relationship with Harry has had such far-reaching effects; and this was just one of the chapters where it was blatantly obvious where AJ's influence on events was shown in one of the most dramatic changes.

    It'll be a pleasure seeing how she'll effect other events in OotP and beyond.
     
  9. Vtigo

    Vtigo Second Year

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    I have been following this fic since it was at 20k words, I was wondering if k had any idea when we could expect a ending? Your fic is the type where I want to go right to the end of it read the last chapter, then read the whole fic. lol
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2006
  10. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    Really enjoyed the update and the entire fic thus far. For the last chapter, my only real sticking point is the now seeming introduction of Super Neville. I don't understand why he needs to be given powers comparable to Harry, and from my perspective giving Longbottom the same strength level as Harry kinda cheapens the gift Harry has (of course, that might just be my general dislike for ANY other student than Harry being powerful shining through) or even the rationale for doing it (after all, Voldemort didn't choose Neville). Also, I'm a little surprised that Snape wasn't punished for striking Harry (I know you probably won't go for this, but it would be perfect vengeance for Harry to go and seriously hurt Malfoy in response, a kind of 'you screw with me and I'll hurt Draco in retaliation' message to Snivellus). Would probably be an ideal way to get Snape off his back for good. McGonagall sure as Hell wouldn't take any action to protect Malfoy, and now that Dumbledore is gone I'm surprised Minerva hasn't tossed Draco out of Hogwarts on his ass. Other than that, good chapter overall, and it was refreshing not to see Fudge become a total sniveling waste in the aftermath of Umbridge.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2007
  11. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

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    o_O

    Cookie, Sera?
     
  12. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    I know, I tend to go off on wicked tangents where Dark!Harry is concerned. Kendra isn't the first and won't be the last author to be victimized by my depraved mind.
     
  13. Yarrgh!

    Yarrgh! Pirate King

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    I dunno...I pretty much agree with everything that Sera said.

    Draco...are you just keeping him around for conflict? He's lived up to those expectations, but he's really beginning to appear like a spurious character who invokes anger form Harry and confusion/pity from Angelina. And every so often, he'll fuck Harry's life up, and it'll take a few chapters for everything to become peachy again.

    I mean...I love that this isn't a 'happily-ever-after' romance fic, but at some point, the reader expects a clear stretch of romance without any external factors that fuck things up. I mean...its realistic, you know? Fights, blah blah...but then you get at least a little time when everything is just perfect.

    With the Snape thing...again, Sera's idea has merit. Harry's gone through enough shit because of Draco, and has had enough problems with his relationship and the weird magic-boom thing that's going on, so he should be less receptive to staying calm, and a hell of a lot more receptive towards the idea of just socking Snape in the eye, and just pouncing on him and whaling away. Not like he's got anything to worry about, if the Ministry gets involved, then fuck the OotP, say that Snape is a Death Eater, and that he's been using Legilimency on students. Veritaserum should prove that, so Harry's got something that he can fall back upon. McGonagall might not approve, but then again, Harry doesn't seem to give a shit about her opinion anyway, even in canon.

    This is still my favorite romance fic (apart from a few James/Lily ones that I can't remember the damned names of), but I'm just getting a little concerned about what you're going for. Conflict is well and good, but there's a lot in here.
     
  14. k_writer

    k_writer Groundskeeper

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    Hmmm...so listen. Draco is not out of this story. I am keeping him because, as the writer, I want to explore the conflicts of his character--he has been born into the life of a Death Eater. That alone has so many levels of conflict, IMO, that I want to flesh out. Selfish of me? Maybe.

    Neville is not on the same level as Harry. But he is growing--I wanted Harry to find a source of friendship other than Hermione and Ron and they will relate to each other through their desire to become as powerful as they can be in their own separate ways.

    I just can't let Harry and Angelina alone--I have a sick desire to torture them as much as possible! What I was trying to coney in that whole scene with McG, Lupin, and Snape is that she knows what Snape is trying to do for the kid, and she knows that his obsession with helping him will eventually part him from them, so she is going to take steps to preempt that parting.

    She will leave Draco to his fate as a Death Eater, and Snape to his incessant smothering of the boy, but she will begin building their resistance to the inevitable future......?

    I dunno, I guess I'm trying to say there is a bigger picture she is looking at............and I sound like a jackass. I am drunk. Saw someone posted in my thread and here I am. If you catch me in IRC when I'm sober perhaps I can explain it better.
     
  15. LT2000

    LT2000 Alchemist

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    I wouldn't say 'selfish'...it's your fic, after all. I was just curious as to why Harry allowed Snape to get away with hitting him (or McGonagall for that matter). I had expected him to exact some form of retribution, on Draco (as that would hurt Snape the most) if he couldn't attack the greasy bastard directly. But as your author's note at the end states, you already have your future chapters planned out, and I wouldn't want you to deviate from your plan on my account. I sure as Hell don't let my reviewers dictate the flow of my fics, and I certainly don't expect you to do so (nor do I want you to, as I feel that a story takes a significant downturn in quality when the author starts deliberately trying to appease readers).
     
  16. k_writer

    k_writer Groundskeeper

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    No, not trying to appease, but I do concern myself with my readers' opinions because I rely on their feedback--it helps me see flaws in my writing that I might not otherwise have caught. It also helps when something I'm trying out is well recieved.


    EDIT: holy crap I just noticed something on ff.net--I've been writing this damned story for almost a year! Wtf? Wow...
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2007
  17. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw System God Admin

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    Good work on this chapter. Something kinda bothered me though. I mean, Harry and Angelina are all happy that night, end up having sex, and then he just flips later over a small thing? I noticed you did write how he didn't know why he was, so I'm guessing Voldemort's emotions were getting the better of him. He just seems too volatile to me, but perhaps this plays a part in the later plot.

    I also have to agree with others about the romance bit...a little time to let them have a perfect relationship would be nice, rather than making them hate each other every other chapter. Of course it'll be bad at times, but it seems like they have no real smooth relationship time. Especially with them having sex earlier in the chapter, I'd think they'd be too happy to fight for a while.

    Just my thoughts, but still an excellent chapter. Looking forward to Part II. Great work Kendra :)
     
  18. k_writer

    k_writer Groundskeeper

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    Lord Ravenclaw, to answer your question, Harry couldn't help himself. I guess I didn't expain it as well as I should have in the prose, but no he could not control the urges he was having at the time, and it he is staying away sort of because honestly he is scared of what he might do next.

    Harry and Angie will have plenty of blissful lovely loverness for a little while, I promise. =]
     
  19. Vtigo

    Vtigo Second Year

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    This is still a great fic, I am just worried that it's going down the route that so many fics befor it has. =\ (The whole break up at the end of the fic, then write a 2nd fic that takes up right after or years later where they get back together etc.)
     
  20. k_writer

    k_writer Groundskeeper

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    Currently re-editing pervious chapters leading up to 37; the ones that had no beta and the ones that did (because the guy I got disappeared on my ass and was a shitty one anyway) so that spelling errors and grammar mistakes are less. So that the chapters are smoother, even tweaking the dialogue a little. This is mostly because I'm having a bit of writer's block with chap 38 and I figured that doing this would help me get back into the groove.

    *shrugs* *sighs*

    And I'll go ahead and admit here that I am disappointed I didn't get a spot in the DLP Awards/Romance category....