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WIP Lodestar by ShayneT - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Zombie, Mar 26, 2018.

  1. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Title: Lodestar
    Author: ShayneT
    Rating: T
    Genre: Action
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category: Other Fandom
    Pairings: None
    Summary: Taylor Hebert is the grandchild of Magneto, a villain from another world. She has inherited his powers. Is the world prepared for a mistress of magnetism?
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12867805/1/Lodestar

    So, this is pretty decent. I usually don't rec something so soon, but its 25k words and I've enjoyed it. Its currently up to date with whats posted on SB.

    The author has been kind of hit or miss in the past, but they have a pretty frequent update status at the moment, its different than their other fic (Skittering Thief) in that there were thousands of words and fucking nothing happened.


    This is a guilty pleasure for me for sure, because Mutant Powers =/= Worm powers, but I like Magneto from X-men, so this has a potential to be good, or a potential to suck.

    Rating 4/5 atm.
     
  2. oakgem217

    oakgem217 First Year

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    The grammar here is godawful. I couldn't get past the first few paragraphs. 1/5 because I couldn't even get to a part of the plot to rate.
     
  3. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Not that I'm going to defend the story... But examples of bad grammar you saw in the first couple of paragraphs that was so terrible that you couldn't even skim?
     
  4. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    Enjoyable so far. Avoiding most of the pitfalls of standard altpower fics, in that it is completely off the rails of canon. If Taylor ends up going out and running into Lung I'll be disappointed, but so far it's good. 4/5.
     
  5. pbluekan

    pbluekan Professor DLP Supporter

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    I don’t think you actually read it, because there weren’t any grammatical issues. In fact, here is a quote:
    There is a missing comma or two, but that is really it. This is the quality of the rest of the piece. Don’t be a shitty cunt, and kindly fuck off.

    Personally, I liked it. The differences in characters early on and how they’d been acting was fun. It also isn’t terribly common for Taylor to actually have a ridiculous power right off the block, and watching her throw that weight around irresponsibly is entertaining and I look forward to where the author takes it.

    However, as of the last few chapters, I’m afraid I can tell you exactly where the author is taking things as the story is slowly turning back into the shit that is most Worm fanfiction. Just to start, an expose on poorly developed and charicatured secondary and tertiary characters with a single personality attribute apiece and a demonstration on the naïveté of adults and the obvious intelligence of kids. Also Panacea makes an entirely unnecessary appearance to give Taylor a bland info dump.

    3.5/5 trending lower as it turns back into the shit from whence it came.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2018
  6. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    In the beginning I was enjoying the whole Magneto thing. Not a lot of X-men crosses in Worm that last more than a couple of chapters. The last couple chapters (E88 and Panacea) have made me cringe horribly.

    The impression I get off this story is the author has maybe read through most of Worm once, and probably read some ffs. Little things pull me out of the story: characterizations are off here and there, fanon thrown in here and there, and the rushed story line is what's pulling me away little by little. Rev that bitch up to ludicrous speed and pop the clutch! There is so much that can and could be done if Shayne would slow down just a tad and work with what is available to him via decades of character with Magneto in the comics.

    Instead, Magneto is mostly kill/rend/tear with small bouts of sanity mixed in when he realizes he's gone too far with his suggestions.

    I want to like it, and I'll probably keep reading, because of the mutant thing, and because Shayne usually finishes his stories. but it's not something that I'll devote time to if there is something better out there.

    4/5 at first, down to 3/3. Hopefully it doesn't drop any lower.[/QUOTE]
     
  7. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, that's why my initial review was rather higher than now. Author has a tendency to escalate things beyond all recognition (Skittering Thief), hopefully he can reign it in, but I doubt it. Oh well, good while it lasted. I guess its back to waiting for that X23 crossover to update.
     
  8. pbluekan

    pbluekan Professor DLP Supporter

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    It just updated. I’m downgrading it to 2/5 because it has writing of technically good quality, just shit storytelling. It has returned to the shitty morass that is 90% of Worm fanfiction.
     
  9. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    Honestly the latest chapter (Throne) was less irritating than the previous two.
     
  10. CaffeineAddict

    CaffeineAddict Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I ended up dropping this after the E88 bit. It just kind of jumped the shark. As Heather said, too much too fast.

    It suffers from some of the same issues their Worm/Heroes cross did - i.e. a need to constantly ratchet up the conflict.

    2/5
     
  11. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Yeah, the premise was neat with Magneto and all but bad take on Taylor coupled with not really taking advantage of Magneto himself and the usual roflstomp and well, it's typical alt power meh.

    2.5/5
     
  12. Erandil

    Erandil Headmaster

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    I have to admit that the first chapter alone was enough to sour my enthusiasm for this story. The locker scene and dispute with Emma and Sophia would be bad enough in a "normal" Worm story but make in my opinion even less sense in a story with a premise like this.. The next chapters were a bit better but I still struggled with them and it was something of a release to drop the story later once it became clear it would get worse and not better.

    2/5
     
  13. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Its unfortunate, I had such high hopes, its quickly turning into a dumpster fire.
     
  14. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    Lodestar is officially a dumpster fire. As of the latest two chapters I have my doubts about Shayne having read Worm at all. Perhaps a chapter/character synopsis or something is more likely. Assault actually calls Taylor "Puppy" in the latest. I mean... what?

    Instead of 'stations of canon' Shayne seems to be writing the 'stations of Worm fanfic tropes.' and doing a really bad job of it in the process.

    I know I said I'd stick it out, but I feel embarrassed for reading it anymore. It's not even a guilty pleasure at this point. I'm done with this one.

    2/5
     
  15. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, its kind of depressing. I'll probably keep reading it though because its updating at least. I'm definitely not liking the direction, so if it gets boring or annoying enough I'll just stop reading.

    Also, I'm kind of annoyed that instead of instigating some kind of fallout with her, the PRT are pretty much acting like nothing ever happened. Also the PHO update is confusing the fuck out of me. I was lead to believe there was going to be some Endbringer action... But instead she's paling around with Bitch.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2018
  16. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    I went into this one with relatively mild expectations, but the first hard danger flag was the talking Magneto helmet. Outside sources speaking in the head of the protagonist is so rarely done well that I knew I was headed into some choppy water.

    The interaction with Bitch is unnecessary, and one of the latest chapters has her worrying about the logistics of her tower and how she's going to air condition it. That's the sort of stupid shit I expect from SpaceBattles and AlternateHistory, though. They're more interested in the mechanics than in the narrative, and it shows. The legality of coolant chemicals and scrap metal prices? The risk of hackers hacking her tower? Neighbors being mad that the fuck off giant tower of doom is casting too much shade? Kill me now.

    Started as a tentative 3/5, but has rocketed down to a 2. Dumpster fire is right.
     
  17. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Well, new update, if anyone is still following. They just introduced Dinah, and apparently people are trying to assassinate Taylor using crossbows and plastic tipped arrows.

    I'm not too sure where they're going with the whole Dinah thing, other than not the usual Coil route. That's good, I suppose.