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Naruto Challenge #2 - Naruto & Cloud Country

Discussion in 'Story Challenges' started by Chime, Jan 2, 2010.

  1. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    With the latest manga chapters, we've received a lot of stuff to work with. Many new cloud ninja, including its Kage.

    I'm challenging someone to make an interesting Cloud fic.

    Requirements:

    1. Naruto arrives at Cloud through unwanted means early on in canon story. For the sake of this challenge, I'll propose that Kakashi is killed by Zabuza's water prison technique and Team 7 is split up and sold as slaves.

    2. Cloud learns of Naruto's jinchuuriki status and aims to a) extract the Kyuubi or b) make Naruto loyal to cloud:

    a. Cloud spends its time finding a suitable host for the Kyuubi (it is well versed in jinchuuriki since it has 2 of its own and believes a transplant is possible) giving Naruto time to earn political favor or hatch a plan to escape Cloud
    a. Medical experiments to understand the 4th's seal, in the mean time, Naruto is under house arrest (and plots his escape)
    b. perhaps using Yugito as a means to win Naruto's affection (which would obviously create much torment should Naruto ever learn of the ploy)
    b. putting Naruto into Cloud's chuunin exam team (I don't like this idea, it's basically copying an overused idea) and promising to release him should he do well at the exam (an obvious lie that Naruto initially buys)
    b. putting Naruto into Cloud's ninja academy (which does not hastily spit out ninja like Konoha's)

    3. Naruto and Killer Bee should probably be awesome bros at some point. If not, some camaraderie should be present between Naruto, Bee and Nii at some point or another. I say this because they should be important for developing Naruto's identity - they are all jinchuuriki and share a common bond.

    Also, Ee should be a badass kage.

    4. Preferably, Naruto has a different skill set from cannon. I'd use a chakra seal (because of his captivity/imprisonment) to explain why he cannot use ninjutsu and must rely upon taijutsu, stealth, persuasion or low-level genjutsu (which requires little chakra) to solve his problems. The seal should be present for at least half of the story, if that route is taken. Jiraiya should never have an opportunity to teach Naruto, though they can meet.

    5. The cast from Konoha should have minimal impact on the story, unless otherwise stated. Sakura is sold into slavery (or to Gatou) and is probably a cheap whore somewhere, Sasuke may have the ability and drive to free himself, but will likely wind up in Orochimaru's care like in canon, or a common missingnin. Foreign shinobi may be in Cloud as diplomats though (such as Temari).

    6. Konoha is seeking information on Team 7's whereabouts, but search missions are ended after the chuunin exam (Konoha is weakened, Sarutobi is dead and Danzou now heads the state). It should be unlikely that Konoha finds Naruto, though it may be able to rescue Sakura or Sasuke, if the plot calls for it.

    7. Akatsuki should be a major threat and the most compelling reason to keep Naruto alive since there are 3 jinchuuriki in Cloud now (and putting one in an infant would make it vulnerable). Akatsuki will perceive the state as a major threat and take it seriously. Akatsuki should not be a bunch of pushovers like in the manga.

    8. If there is any romance, Naruto's age should be adjusted by at least a year, especially if Nii is involved (she could be de-aged, if that is easier). Romance should not come easy and should probably fall along the given plotline (where Naruto suspects his partner is actually just acting under orders to seduce him).

    9. Important Cloud shinobi should all have (code)names of the English Alphabet (notice their names -- Nii [N], Bii , Shii [C], Ee [A]).

    10. Cloud should be politically different than Konoha. I'd say some sort of authoritarian regime with an economic elite ruling class, rather than some sort of clan senate with an appointed commander in chief - with more power in the hands of the Kage, but a heavy reliance upon the elite to execute decisions. However, Cloud's makeup is fully up to the author.


    How's this sound? There hasn't been a serious Naruto challenge here, and perhaps I made this one too long and with too many requirements, but I wanted to challenge someone to make something which hasn't been done over and over and over again.

    I'm being overly hopeful though, I doubt anyone will take on this challenge since it's probably too serious. Maybe someone could turn this into a oneshot somehow? I've left it vague enough.
     
  2. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    -Nevermind-

    I don't like the "rich rulers" thing, though.

    There are important canon reasons why the other shinobi nations have poor economies. Suna is still recovering from it's failed invasion of Konoha. Kiri has been isolated for a very long time. Iwa, in my opinion, probably had a whole generation of promising ninja killed off by Minato and Konoha in the 3rd war, and is still recovering. Konoha is a hole in the ground.

    Of course Kumo would get a big 5 in economy in comparison.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2010
  3. Moloch

    Moloch Groundskeeper

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    This does sound interesting. Hopefully someone takes up the fic.

    But one has to wonder if the whole Sakura thing really is necessary.
     
  4. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    Suna is a desert, I don't have any idea how its economy functions. Mizu is some kind of archipelago to my understanding, so it may have a strong rice farming industry, or a strong shipping industry, but it won't be rich in natural resources. Iwa is... in the mountains, so possibly mining and but farming is probably only a little better than Suna. I don't know Kiri -- it has a large landmass and is surrounded by water...

    And poor countries tend to have a strong rich elite, regardless of the income of the masses, if Kiri does not have a rebounding economy, you can still explain their existence.

    Is it necessary? No, I don't like or dislike Sakura, it's just- well, mentioning her fate gives the story a bit of gritty truth to it. Captured females are either killed or used for sex, that's how I believe they would be treated, there's no Geneva Convention to my knowledge.
     
  5. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    Reminds me of this fic. The human enslavement part:

    Icha Icha: Cat Tales

    Furthermore, depending on how one writes the Sakura torture it could be a hit, or a miss.

    Oasis
     
  6. Random Shinobi

    Random Shinobi Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    There is no Geneva Convention, but there's still common sense. These women are born and bred warriors, trained to be killers since childhood and augmented with mystic energies that make them stronger, faster, and tougher than any normal human. Even if their chakra is sealed and they are stripped of their supernatural abilities, they are still trained killers. You just don't use trained killers as whores. Whores are so easy to come by that it's pointless to take unnecessary risks.

    Besides, kunoichi are no ordinary women you can force/scare into sexual slavery, they are pretty much the very definition of empowered women; most of them would rather die fighting than work in some bordello.
     
  7. Tehlaziboi

    Tehlaziboi Ninja Meido

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    I think you're over-romanticizing the kunoichi too much. Trained killers? Sure, I'll buy that. But when they can't even move a leg or two, they are only as skilled as their training and from what I remember of the manga, Sakura doesn't have that much training during the Wave arc.

    For them dying before ever becoming a whore, who said they would have a choice? Definition of empowered women, sure. But they are still human and any human can be coerced into being a sex slave with a combination of drugs and prolong exposure. Hell, stockholm syndrome might even kick in and they'll start willingly do it.
     
  8. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    Maybe I just imagine the countries outside of Konoha to be the slums of industrializing Asian countries (where drugs are used to make young girls compliant)... but I can easily picture Sakura - at this time totally inept at anything ninja-related - being sold to some brothel in a country miles and miles away from home and 'accepting' her place. Maybe she'll escape, but it's not like she can go take a plane back to Konoha or anything, she'd be stuck wherever she's sold or she'd have to make it on foot.

    I suppose Zabuza would be more likely to kill all of Team 7 than to sell them to Gatou, but it's just a plot device that I suggested. I'm not trying to make some statement about Sakura or women in general, it's just more dramatic if she's stripped of everything she knows and made into nothing.

    If you guys think there's a better plot device, go ahead and suggest one.
     
  9. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Gonna agree with this.

    And LOL at sealing someone's chakra. Only one jutsu in the manga does that - the one that's meant to kill both caster and victim.

    I just don't think that major crime organizations have a place in the Naruto universe, where a reasonably skilled ninja could, on a whim, destroy them utterly. Gatou only worked out as a villain because he operated in an isolated country with no ninja presence whatsoever. All it took was four ninja - three of them complete newbies - to bring him down.

    Look, you can say that ninja are as hardcore as you like, but they don't as a rule go around killing one another on sight in times of peace. Just look at the Kage Summit. These motherfuckers must hate one another, but they can still sit around and be civil.

    The only character/country that seems to have exuded the levels of pure immorality that Chime??? describes is Orochimaru and his Sound. Simple civility is not above most ninja.
     
  10. goldenwolfeye

    goldenwolfeye Seventh Year

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    Actually I would figure that in A setting like Naruto large organized crime would flourish. Trained powerful killers, whose loyalty can nearly be assured (as long as you pay and follow the terms of the contract) who are discrete would be a god send to a crime lord. Need someone killed? Go hire a ninja and dont worry about it. Want some assurance that a country wont take a hit out on you? Just pay them to refuse contracts against you. Need a body guard? Buy one nobody will see until there is danger. All that is needed is to money to pay.

    And if there is one thing crime lords could istorically get, its money.
     
  11. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    What are you talking about? What do you think the 4 (or was it 5?) point seal is? It screwed up Naruto's chakra by interfering with the Kyuubi - are you telling me there aren't other ways of preventing external chakra usage?

    In this proposed scenario, slavery is an institution supported by Cloud (ninjas). In this proposed scenario, Gatou and his crime network is supported by missing-nin (ninjas). Of course ninjas can kill ninjas, but it's not like these crime organizations are run by samurai.

    Are you trying to suggest that the Naruto world is conflictless because there are omnipotent ninja running around?

    Thanks for your criticisms, I like getting them, but... none of the countries so far have had any real description put in them. There are injustices in any society, regardless of the military structure, so I find it highly likely that Cloud could have slavery or indentured servitude, and that other crime organizations could run rampant.

    It doesn't matter how the leaders pretend to act, states are run not by their leaders but by the political forces that support those leaders within. Even Konoha in fanon is like this (usually the Hyuuga or some other part of the council proves to be disruptive to the Hokage's whim, or support it and execute it). Konoha is the strongest and probably the most stable elemental state, since it has limited hegemony right now, but for Cloud or Mizu, which have suffered from wars or civil unrest and who knows what else, could have developed in such a way that they are totally different from Konoha.

    The point is, this is fanfiction and until Kishimoto gives us some more backstory, I think this is completely plausible, even with a strong and "civil" ruler like Ee.

    Finally, let's not forget these are ninja-politicians here, Howdy. If they can 'act' civil, it doesn't mean they rule with civility, the fact they are politicians to some degree does not make their case either (the Iwakage could be some corrupt asshole who's lied and feigned some weak persona this whole time at the summit, for all we know).
     
  12. Random Shinobi

    Random Shinobi Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    I disagree. What makes you even think that ninja villages take assassination contracts from civilian sources or accept missions from criminal organisations at all?

    The ninja villages were created to help countries govern their territory and they receive most of their revenue from their host country. This obviously means that majority of shinobi work for their respective daimyo. For this reason, I find it unlikely that the villages accept any illegal missions within their own borders.

    And considering the shinobi forces the daimyos have at their beck and call, I wouldn't give a very long life expectancy for the average yakuza boss.
     
  13. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    All that technique did was place a seal around Naruto's Kyuubi seal in a configuration such that Kyuubi's chakra could not mix with Naruto's own. In other words, it did literally nothing to Naruto's chakra directly. It only affected the seal. Used against a normal ninja it would do nothing, since it does not affect the victim's chakra system.

    There is no jutsu in the manga that can shut down chakra aside from the Shiki Fuujin.

    I guess we just look at the Naruto world in different ways. I see it as one mostly homogenous group of people. Culturally, the Naruto world may as well be one nation, since we don't see cultural differences and the ninja culture is in many ways the same throughout the world. This is why joint examinations and the like are possible - because for the most part the ninja world is civil. That's why Akatsuki is such a disruption to the business-as-usual state of the peaceful ninja world.

    The Naruto world isn't lacking in conflict by any stretch of the imagination, but when you talk about things involving international relations things change. Konoha was willing to sacrifice Hizashi to prevent a continuation to the war with Cloud, but I doubt they would sit back and let Cloud walk all over them by selling their ninja into slavery.

    It's fanfiction, sure. But when you start turning these other countries into "evil" places with "evil" practices, not only are you twisting the relationships between countries that we see in canon, but also the relationships and interactions between canon characters.

    Suddenly Bee isn't a carefree, interesting, and powerful character anymore. He's now a bully who uses his power to hold up a corrupt system. He becomes unlikeable, whether or not the author shows a direct relationship between Bee and the slave trade.

    Also, how do you reconcile the idea of empowered kunoichi with the practice of using captured enemy kunoichi as sex slaves? Female ninja are not second class citizens in either Konoha or Kumo, so how is it acceptable that one side makes a practice of slaving off young women while the other does not? Or does Konoha in this AU do this as well? What do the kunoichi think about that? Aren't they against such a practice when it could just as easily be employed against them?

    These things need to be considered when you take a story in a direction like this.

    Also, with regards to Onoki - not a single person at the Summit thought for an instant that he was weak. The dude is a legendary ninja who fought Madara and likely Sarutobi many times. He fought A as well it seems, and is renowned as the Tsuchikage and likely has been for a long time. Hell, he would have killed Sasuke with a single jutsu if Madara hadn't intervened.

    You have to look at the context here. He may have been complaining because he's old, and his complaints may even have been legitimate, but no one in his right mind is going to look down on a figure like that if they have two brain cells to rub together.

    These guys may be ninja, and they may be politicians, but that doesn't mean that everything they say or do is a trap. They have to trust the words of one another on some level.