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Naruto challenge #3

Discussion in 'Story Challenges' started by PomMan, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. PomMan

    PomMan Professor

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    I had this idea a while back, and I know that I'm never going to be doing anything with this, so I'm posting it here for any DLP naruto fan to do what they want with it.

    CHALLENGE: Nidaime Hokage Idolism.

    Because of Naruto's obsessive dream to become Hokage, he reads up on them one afternoon. Because of this, he is awestruck by the Nidaime Hokage, the only Hokage to not have a summons or bloodline. He desires to be like Senju Tobirama as much as possible, as he got to the top with nothing but hard work and large reserves of chakra.

    Requirements:
    1. Senju Tobirama must have, through sheer hard work alone, become incredibly skilled in Genjustu, Taijustu, Kenjutsu and Ninjutsu (like in the anime fights with Sarutobi).

    2. He must also have had unbelievably huge chakra reserves, akin to that of Hoshigaki Kisame, which is why he was able to pull water out of the air. It involved making atoms combine, (Hydrogen and Oxygen at a massive level) and to 'soak' them with his chakra, so nobody else could use it.

    3. If Naruto is on the retrieve Sasuke mission (if there even is one, as you might want Sasuke to stay in the village), he will fight a) Kabuto, b) Kimimaro or c) Juugo, or he will actually succeed in bringing Sasuke back. He must be able to draw with whoever it is with them dying/ getting saved or captured, while he falls unconscious, having just won.

    Possible Ideas, this is just some of the stuff I came up with before deciding I'm not going to ever write this.

    1. Suiton ninjustu is done by pushing your chakra into it first, before it taking shape, so nobody can use a suiton from directly underneath there opponent while the opponent is water walking.

    2. Naruto meets Sanshouuo no Hanzo (Hanzo of the Salamander) and recreates the unsurpassed speed on water.

    3. Because Namikaze Minato said the Nidaime was skilled in Space-Time ninjutsu, Naruto will learn how to use it as well.

    4. Naruto should be able to use Suiton and katon on a massive level, but still be able to use Doton and Raiton, but be incapable of using wind at all, much like Kakashi. I don't much like the Rasenshuriken, but if you want to be able to create a new 'perfect' rasengan is up to you. He must find out about Rokusho Aoi, the guy that stole the Raijin. Wether he keeps the sword is up to you.


    Anyone that wants to try this, feel free. I'd love to read it.
     
  2. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Sounds pretty shit, honestly. A Naruto that can do literally anything bar one specific subset of one type of the ninja arts, and doesn't fail ever (by your own plot points) is a little stupid. And by a little I mean quite a bit.

    I also don't see how idolizing a different guy will change anything about the way Naruto develops. He still doesn't know anything at all about the Yondaime except that he was good at sealing and he used the Hiraishin. His choice of idol was completely irrelevant to the entire plot, really. So, your idea is a massive AU, for no reason with no divergence point.

    The idea of Naruto developing along a different path isn't really unique, but it is definitely a rarer option that the usual super-canon or bloodlines. If the challenge was altered to his specialty being either water techniques or space-time techniques and he develops along that path, with less bullshit 'meets 'x', immediately replicates skill' idiocy, then it could be interesting.
     
  3. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    For some reason, my first thought upon reading the idea was a Naruto who somehow learned the Edo Tensei (it's probably on the big scroll forbidden jutsu Naruto stole in the first episode) and spammed it. A Naruto who specializes in summoning super-zombie ninjas could be interesting, if it's done right.
     
  4. hgf

    hgf Fourth Year

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    How about a Naruto who runs around the world hunting S-class ninjas to make them his mindless zombiesoldiers? All the while chased after by bounty hunters and Konoha's own hunters.
     
  5. Bikiluf

    Bikiluf Seventh Year

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    Immitaion fics are bound to be horrible. All top level ninja develop their own unique abilities which is what makes them the best. The techniques that were used by the second Hokage have been around for so long that countless strategies to counter them were developped by rival nations. Immitating someone else instead of finding your own methods to do things from experience will only be harmful in the long run.
     
  6. disposablehead

    disposablehead Seventh Year

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    The Edo Tensei thing has been done in Boutoko no Naruto, but the story doesn't quite work. The obvious reason for Boutoko is that Kushina jacks the protagonist position from Naruto, who is delegated to a sacred cow. The other reason is that immortal Kage level helpers are simply too overpowered to allow for an interesting conflict.

    @hgf YES. This could be really, really cool. You could solve the OP thing with his total ignorance of who he could summon, and by the time he gets his shit together, Konoha is sending the best of the best to wipe him out. Then, other villages and Akatsuki... That would be a mess. But a GLORIOUS one.

    To the original post
    :facepalm
    This sounds kind of interesting. Instead of the clone thing, Naruto would just flood the battlefield every time he felt pressed. It would play into the same thing that kind of defines Naruto: lots of chakra, a general level of incompetence, an ace that he doesn't know how to use properly. A take on this one idea I would really like to see. But none of that Unstoppable!Naruto bullshit, please.
     
  7. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    Assuming what Kabuto said about how the Edo Tensei works is true, Naruto needs some sort of genetic sample to do any summoning. That would keep him from getting too brokenly overpowered early on. Despite how easy it apparently was for Kabutomaru to pull off, getting the DNA of powerful dead ninjas should be a huge challenge. That should make for a reasonable power limiter early on when he can't summon anyone significant, but once he builds up a nice stockpile of people to summon...
     
  8. disposablehead

    disposablehead Seventh Year

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    ... and each one he could use only once, so he couldn't just summon the same overpowered characters over and over.

    The problem I see with this idea is that it would make an interesting story but a boring Naruto. A character whose special ability is to hide behind others doesn't seem very compelling.

    It would have to start in media res, with Naruto as a competent but generally unexceptional nuke-nin. The ability to violate the cycle of life and death isn't something that should be held by a twelve-year old, so after a failed Yamanaka mind wipe (or insert alternative here) Naruto was forced to flee the village. Somehow, he manages to not be immediately killed, and starts building himself an undead army.

    It needs an emotional hook. Naruto is hunted by a guilty Iruka? A Crusader!Hinata? Does he have teammates? What are his long term goals?
     
  9. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    Actually as I recall, Edo Tensei can summon the same person over and over, so long as that particular person isn't sealed/destroyed/etc.

    Personally, I think a Squishy Wizard Naruto could be an interesting change of pace, in the hands of a good writer. Then again, anything can be interesting in the hands of a good writer.

    How to involve the rest of the cast is definitely important; just Naruto and his zombies on their own would get boring pretty fast.
     
  10. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    When the time comes, you could have Sasuke join Naruto rather than Orochimaru. Not in the sense that he goes to him for training, but in that after surviving that barrel curse seal upgrade he decides that rather than go serve the freaky guy who wants to steal his body and was defeated by his brother, he'd rather join someone he once had a rapport with and who he's heard stories of as Naruto survived the hunter nin longer and longer. Could be that in an attempt to defame him further, some parties leaked the details of his defection to the village at large, and he became an urban legend of sorts to the younger genin/students.

    Then you've got all sorts of potential for interesting hijinks and conflict with those two running around. Naruto as a crazy tank buster, Sasuke honing himself into what he thinks a ninja should be. Think Reload by Case13 for the general vibe. If it were done by an author who could write Naruto and Sasuke well, I reckon it'd be great.
     
  11. Styx0444

    Styx0444 Minister of Magic

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    QFT. I've seen this done a few times, but Naruto usually becomes over powered really damn quick, or it ends up sucking for other reasons. I tried my hand at it once, but I thought that what I had sucked, and my standards have gone way up since then.
     
  12. ASmallBundleOfToothpicks

    ASmallBundleOfToothpicks Professor

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    I dunno, This was pretty funny. But yeah, Naruto gets massively overpowered for the lulz and hijinks ensue.