I'm currently working on a story set in a modernized fantasy world.

I came up with my own magic system and I need to know if it makes sense or if it's broken.
I also want to avoid too much similarity to the Potterverse Magic, so please point it out if you spot any.

I would be really happy if I received harsh but helpful criticism, so I would be able to improve.

Without delaying further, here is the text:

Magic can be described as manipulation of 6 fundamental Pillars of Reality, using Magical Language

The Pillars of Reality
1.Time - Tas
2.Matter - Meria
3.Souls - Sentom
4.Space - Sidis
5.Dimensions - Quam
6.Elements - Edelo

The Elements are divided into 9 types:

1.Water - Alka
2.Fire - Idas
3.Energy - Vush
4.Air - Ami
5.Earth - Gana
6.Light - Lom
7.Darkness - Nuxe
8.Death - Moru
9.Life - Vena

///Spell Creation:

Spells consist of two parts: Reality Pillar and Desired Action. Sometimes, a Supporting Element can be added, as a third part.
For example, the light creation spell: Incantation: Edelo Sove Lom - Translation: Element Creation Light - Function: Create the Element of Light.

///Manipulation of Magic by living beings.

While all sentient beings are magical, simply the ability to scream the incantations of spells is not enough.
A person needs a focusing tattoo on their body, which will act as the magic release.

Most people put such tattoos on their hands. When casting a spell, it is released from the body of the caster through the tattoo.

However, just because the spellcaster releases the spell from his body, does not mean that there is some kind of 'inner magic' inside him.

In fact, living bodies have no magic in them, but actually, they have the ability to summon magic from the universe around them.

This means that there is no such thing as 'magical exhaustion', one cannot become tired by using magic, as the amount of magic in the universe is unlimited.

However, this does not mean that anyone just can use magic without limitations or consequences.

As there exists something called the Magical Corruption of Living Matter.

This happens because the more magic is used in a short amount of time, the more exposed to it the body becomes.

The body then becomes slowly enchanted with said magic, which can lead to harmful disabilities or even disfigurment.

For example, a man using too much Earth-Element-Based spells in a short amount of time, can have his body slowly turn to stone.
A man using too much Time-Manipulation spells can accidentally make his body age faster.
Someone using too much Fire-Element-Based spells can unintentionaly burn himself alive.

Most commonly known Magical Corruption is the Death-Element-Based corruption.
The Death Element is known for being twice as fast to cause corruption than other elements.
Beings using too much Death Spells can either suddenly die themselves without warning, they can slowly lose their sanity, they can turn undead,
their bodies may start decomposing while alive. However, the worst thing that can happen to them, is turning into a demon.
Demons are purely magical beings, made from Death Element.
They lose sanity, become bloodthirsty creatures and lose the ability to cast all types of magic, except the Death Element based one.
They start corrupting anything they touch with Death Element Corruption. In addition, they become extremely sensitive to Life Element Magic, which kills them.

///Limitations of Magic:

Some materials are magic-resistant. Which led to them being used as currency or in warfare.
These are:
Metals - Platinum, Gold, Silver.
Stones - Diamond, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald.

The most known limitations of magic are:
1.Not being able to create food out of nothing.
2.Not being able to bring back the dead. Though their bodies can be reanimated, their minds are gone.
3.Not being able to create Elemental Materials out of nothing. For example, Vush Crystals or Amianium cannot be created.
4.Not being able to create living beings. Conjured beings have magic inside them, instead of blood and organs, they also have no souls or sentience.
5.Not being able to create magic-resistant materials out of nothing. (gold, diamonds etc).
6.Time travel is possible. However, travel to the past creates alternate timelines.

///Fusion of Elements:

The Theory of the Fusion of Elements was conceived after the invention of the Vush Bomb,
which used fusion of the Fire and Energy elements to achieve total desintegration of matter.
The first and only explosion of Vush Bomb resulted in the complete destruction of the Brax Kingdom, killing over 3 million Reptilians in a matter of minutes.
This was made possible because the fusion used Energy (which binds all matter), to set the very atoms on fire, destroying them, which in turn destroyed all
matter in the blast radius, which was far bigger than initially expected.
After many experiments, it was discovered that only the Energy Element can fuse with other Elements.

///Magical Technology

Vush Crystals. - When heated, produce energy.
Lom Powder. - Transparent powder that glows when energized, used in the creation of lamps.
Amianium. - Metal that levitates when energized.
Vush/Amianium Engines. - Directly convert heat to flying. Used in Ami Ships.
Plumbing. - Network of underground pipes and magical pumps that provide running water for every house.
Vush Bomb. - Bomb that uses Vush Crystals to fuse Energy and Fire elements, which results in nuclear explosions.
Wordmaker. - Machine that creates text on paper.
Taspheres. - Glass spheres that show the exact time and date.
Imagers. - Enchanted boxes with paper inside that instantly create an image of anything they see.
Cloth Alkaners. - Machines that clean clothes.
Dish Alkaners. - Machines that wash the dishes.
Soundmitter. - Machine that transports sounds over a long distance.
Ganasand. - Concrete.
Soundunicators - Small enchanted machines that allow instant sound communication with anyone in the world.
Zinners. - Machines used to create cold. Useful for storing food.
Idaswavers. - Machines used to heat food.
Duplicators - Enchanted boxes that make copies of any imager image put inside them.
Soundwaver - Machine that can emit and store sounds and music.
Automatons - Animated wood or steel humanoid machines that do the most dangerous jobs.
Visionsaver - Machine capable of recording vision (events in motion) and sound.
Commirror - Enchanted mirror that allows instant visual and sound communication across the world.
Nuxeshooters. - Weapons designed to shoot small balls of Darkness Element at an enormous speed, to kill the enemy.
House Aming. - Enchanted glowing ball that filters air.
Mirrorvision - Special mirrors that receive transmissions but not send them. Used for announcment, news and entertainment.
Infomags - machines that can store information, make complicated mathematical equations, work as a mirrorvision, soundwaver,
soundmitter text-messages and a commirror.
House Heating. - Series of pipes with hot water that keep warmth in the house.
Vush Stations. - Giant stations that produce Energy Element and distribute it to various places.
Loming. - Small glass balls that glow when connected to the Energy Element.
Infonet. - Giant Network of interconnected Infomags.
Idasthrowers. - Weapons that throw idas at enemies.

 

Interesting, but it almost sounds too complicated. Perhaps f you could give a synopsis or explain what the conflict in the story is, then I'll (we'll) have a better chance of judging.

 

Pretty much this. It's all very scientific, which isn't usually something I enjoy associating with magic. The whole tattoo + word thing makes it seem even less like magic, to be honest. Mechanical, almost.

Another thing that jumped out at me is the inability to create living things from scratch or bring dead things back to life. What's the point of the Life and Death elements, in that case? I mean, killing stuff is all well and good, but any of the other elements can (supposedly) do that without the added drawback of being corrupted twice as fast, so it doesn't really seem worth it to even use Death magic. Life magic... eh. I guess you could say that it stimulates growth/is good for healing/etc. Just seems a bit odd for it to be completely impossible to create a living being in some way, shape or form with Life magic.

But yeah, main sticking point for me is the non-magical feel to it. It's good to have boundaries for your magic, of course. It can also be good to have a formula for your magic, to some extent. But making your magic one big formula just seems wrong. In my opinion, at least.

 

I for one don't mind the formulaic aspects of it. The idea of "it's magic I don't have to explain shit" feels lazy to me.

One thing that made me instantly think of Harry Potter was the "no food conjuration" rule, but I don't think that's a bad thing. Spontaneous creation of food would be way too easy.

I guess a criticism I have about it is that anyone can do magic. I've always preferred it when magic is fairly exclusive. Sure, the fact that anyone can do it doesn't mean anyone can do it well, but still, something is lost there to me -- far more than with the quasi-scientific rules you've set up. But I've seen other settings where magic, or something like it, is available to anyone, and I've enjoyed them too. So I guess it matters more how you write it.

 

What is the principles on which your magic works? These 6 pillars, where did they come from? Did they create the 9 elements? Can more elements be made, or destroyed? are there other, hidden pillars? This kind of magic feels as though it was a poorly understood force, like gravity or weak nuclear, scientific, and yet bland. Something there, but without any art or clarity to it.
Suggestion: find unifying principles, construct a creation story for your magic, how did it come to be? Was it made by someone, or did the universe simply start with them?

 

I feel it's both too complicated and too simple at the same time.

It's too complicated in terms of narrative flow. It would break the narrative flow to explain something like this, and it sounds a bit technical.

On the other hand, it's extremely simple. Think about it: you just explained the fundamentals of a system which is presumably the base of an entire universe in, what, 1000 words?

Try doing that with physics.

If you ever intend to show magic as something that is difficult to master and requires intelligence and skill, then this explanation of magic is far too simple. A six year old can understand the mechanics of magic as explained above. That leaves very little for you to use to distinguish magic users - inherited traits, basically.

If you want my advice, I would say never explain the mechanics of magic from author point of view. It always feels very simple, because let's face it: nothing a single author can create can even come close to the complexity of real life. The only solution, if you want magic to look difficult, is to never explain it. Rather, you allude to the existence of a complex explanation by allowing readers little bits and pieces that look complicated and, from the point of view of your characters, incomplete/uncertain knowledge. So long as you remain consistent in what magic can do, this is enough, I think.

Aesthetically, I'm not a fan of the formulaic nature of how it adds up (in part because it's so simple), nor do I like "elemental" systems so much. Especially when there's an element for every day of the week (and more besides).

 

Sure, I never said to do it like that. But literally creating a formula for magic and making the only prerequisite to use it a tattoo makes it seem more like a very profitable branch of mathematics than anything else. Takes away the whole "magical" feel, ya know?

 

In my opinion, how well you write the system into the story and the quality of the writing itself is more important than the actual system. Hell, Rowling got away with a system that seems a lot like "Magic, it works this way because I say so" at times.

If you don't turn the story into a lecture on how your magic setup works, and you have an interesting plot, then you'll probably be alright.

I'm not going to decide to read your story or not based on the magic system. It'll be on the writing, characters, and plot. Not necessarily in that order. Of course, this is purely my opinion, so take from it what you will.

That said, you asked for an opinion on the system itself, so my opinion is that it looks alright. It does peak my interest.

 

Yep this. As long as the plot, action and writing are gripping, and you feed the magic system morsel by morsel without making it sound like magic is physics (because looking at the outline it kinda seems, as already stated formulaic), then you should be fine.

 

Thank you people so much for taking the time to help me.
While I read them, I have copied all your replies to my PC, just to have useful advice nearby.

Anyway, some of you wanted to know a little bit more about this universe so I'll explain.
---------

Like I mentioned, the story happens in a modernized fantasy world.
There are several sentient races, all of them capable of using magic.
The most powerful nation in the world is The Empire of Azkalar, ruled by humans.
One day, the planet is discovered by a race of aliens.
The Kltktk at first want to bomb the place and quickly take it for themselves.
However, when they discover the existence of magic, they stop.
This magic is completely against their laws of physics. It confuses and scares them to no end.
Therefore, their plans change.
Imagine being an Alien Conqueror with highly advanced technology, capable of interstellar travel.
Then, one day, you discover something that completely disproves your science, completely.
You'd be curious why. You'd want to research it.
So the aliens want to take over the planet, while keeping it intact.
They also need most of sentient races alive for study, since everyone can cast magic there, but why is it so?
They need to be very careful, lest they destroy something that could explain to them what is going on there.

The story itself would be about a soldier named Llan Shatterstone.
He is an average soldier of the Empire and is fighting with the invading aliens.
When Llan's superiors decide that his hometown needs to be sacrificed to gain a strategic advantage, he deserts in anger.
Alone, he escapes the army and travels to his town to do everything to defend it.
On the way, he meets a ghost girl named Minazis and saves her from being exorcised.
Grateful, the girl joins him in his quest.

-----

More information regarding the fictional universe:

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A) Sentient Beings
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A1.Humans. - Eyes always the same color as hair. The colors: Black, White, Red, Blue, Purple, various shades of these colors.
There were once Yellow and Green eyed people, but were exterminated in a war.
A2.Gremlins. - Small. Hard, green skin. Sharp, pointy teeth. Blue eyes. Extremely loyal.
A3.Naga. - Big tail instead of legs. Blue Scales. Six arms. No hair. Three "head-tails". Very good memory. Logic.
A4.Reptilians. - Humanoid Lizards. Red Scales. Live in the desert. Warlike. Good archers. Very Honorable.
A5.Centaurs. - Head, arms and torso of a man. Legs of a horse. Vegetarians. Noble.
A6.Harpies. - Wings. Fangs and claws. Live in the mountains. Isolationist.
A7.Minotaurs. - No fur. Muscular. Horns. Hooves instead of feet. Great courage.
A8.Cyclopses. - Taller than humans. One eye. Individualistic. Good fighters.
A9.Merpeople. - Green skin/scales. Yellow eyes. No hair. Sonar. Legs. Can breathe on the surface. Territorial. Like to trade.
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B) Cursed Beings
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B1.Demons. - Living beings corrupted by death magic. Red skin, glowing green eyes, white horns. Limited to Death Magic. Corrupt everything with Death Magic.
B2.Vampires. - Pale. Fangs. Drink blood. Immortal. Sun kills them. Sleep in coffins. Allergy to garlic. Limited to Death Magic. Very aristocratic.
B3.Werewolves. - Turn into mindless, furry humanoid beasts every full moon. Can be only killed with silver (literally, cut one to pieces with other metals and he will restore).
B4.Zombies. - Slow. Undead. Lose all memories and intelligence. Cannot use Magic. Eat flesh of sentient beings. Can only be killed by destroying the brain.
B5.Ghosts. - Souls of sentients that decided to stay in the mortal realm. Can become invisible, fly, pass through solid matter, possess the living.
B6.Wraiths. - Ghosts forced by necromancers into zombie bodies to give them the ability to use Death Magic. They obey their creator.
B7.Shadows. - Living Shadows. Eat Light. Cannot use magic. Can be killed by magic.
B8.
B9.
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C) Humanoid Beings (non-sentient)
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C1.Drowners. - White Hair. Blue Eyes. Greyish Skin. Sharp teeth and claws. Gills. Small brain. Eat meat. Drown their prey.
C2.Rootas. - Big. Dumb. Purple Skin. Four Legs.
C3.Elementals. - Water, Fire, magic, Air, Earth, Light, Darkness, Death, Life. All act like you would expect, but are not intelligent.
C4.
C5.
C6.
C7.
C8.
C9.
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D) Animals
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D1.Dragons. - Giant flying lizards that breathe fire.
D2.Hydras. - Giant lizards with seven heads. Cut one head and two shall take its place.
D3.Wyverns. - Dog-sized flying lizards that have poisonous blood.
D4.Griffins. - Body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle.
D5.Pegasi. - White horses with wings.
D6.Unicorns. - Horses with one silver horn.
D7.Manticoras. - Scorpion tail, big bat wings, human face with pointy teeth, lion body.
D8.Pawu. - Blue pig. Glowing antennae on head.
D9.Mardo. - Green sheep. Poison teeth.
D10.Darla. - Pink chickens.
D11.Tunps. - Foxes. Domesticated.
D12.Khrad - Ravens, basically. Red eyes. Feed on animal blood.
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G) Potions
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There are Four Levels of potion making: Basic, Advanced, Master and Legendary.

Examples of most popular potions:

Lev 1:

Health Potion (heals most wounds)
Strength Potion (makes one stronger)
Speed Potion (makes one faster)
Stamina Potion (increases one's stamina)
Sleep Potion (makes one sleep)
Antidote Potion (used against most poisons)

Lev 2:

Truth Potion (forces one to speak the truth)
Transformation Potion (changes one's appearance to the opposite. A tall man will change into a short woman)
Wisdom Potion (makes one more focused and able to think at a higher level)
Invisibility Potion (makes one's body invisible)
Ghost Potion (makes one's body able to pass through solid objects)
Love Potion (creates a strong attraction to someone)
Bless Potion (one has more luck after drinking that potion)
Memory Potion (used to restore lost memories and heal those with mental problems)

Level 3:

Domination Potion (if you add one drop of your blood to it and then someone drinks it, he will obey your every command for 10 hours)
Resurrection Potion (misleading name. It actually animates the dead body to be used as a slave)
Life Potion (heals most dangerous wounds)
Youth Potion (slows aging)
Battle Potion (raises Strength, Speed and Stamina)
Sight Potion (allows you to see very far)

Level 4: (these are legendary and were never proven to be possible)

Silver Potion (Makes one unkillable)
Gold Potion (Makes one forever young)
Platinum Potion (Makes one immune to Magical Corruption)
Infinity Potion (combines the effects of previous 3 potions)
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J) Government of the Empire
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The Structure of the Imperial Government is very simple.

A the top, is of course the Emperor Azkalar, he makes the most important decisions and has power over everything.

Directly below him are The Masters. So far, there are 11.

Warmaster, Culturemaster, Foodmaster, Justicemaster, Transportmaster, Trademaster, Communicationmaster, Researchmaster,
Educationmaster, Architecturemaster and Industrymaster.

Each of them is the head of their own Masterium (for example, Warmaster is obviously the head of War Masterium.)

Each Masterium has several departaments (Masterium of Transport for example, has the Department of Ami Travel).

Any diplomatic relations are done by the Emperor himself and occasionally his assistants.

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K) Known Nations
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Name - Dominant Species - Status

1.Empire of Azkalar - Humans - Active Superpower
2.Brax Kingdom - Reptilians - Destroyed in 32 AE
3.Wrag Empire - Naga - Active Superpower
4.Kingdom of Lana - Gremlins - Active Great power
5.Sdrahna - Vampires - Hidden Great Power
6.
7.
8.
9.

Five most influential people in the world at the time of the Kltktk Invasion.

1.Current Emperor of the Empire of Azkalar:
Emperor Azkalar the Constructor.
2.The King of Sdrahna:
Vampire Lord Dak Kzar.
3.Leader of the Religion of Tamesensiquaed:
Highest Priest Nalomon, of the Temple of Billion Souls.
4.The Empress of the Naga Empire of Lana:
Empress Ailata.
5.Head of the International Crime Syndicate, The Black Flame:
Gantos Sfal, also known as 'The Shatterer'
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L) History of the Empire of Azkalar
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908 BE - Vampire nation of Sdrahna is founded.

471 BE - The last of the Yellow Eyed and Green Eyed people are killed in the Shade Wars.

70 BE - Vush Crystals are discovered.

47 BE - Lom Powder is invented.

14 BE - Amianium is discovered.

5 BE - The first Vush/Amianium Engine is created.

0 AE - The Empire of Azlakar is created when Emperor Azkalar the First unites the Metal and Mineral regions.

18 AE - Widespread Plumbing introduced in the Empire.

25 AE - Vush Bombs are invented, the power of the Empire skyrockets.

30 AE - Azlakar the Defender becomes the new Emperor.

32 AE - The Brax Kingdom is eradicated by a single Vush Bomb explosion, only a big crater remains.
Horrified, Emperor Azkalar creates a law that states that Vush Bombs may only be used in defense.
All surviving Brax Reptilians are allowed to immigrate into the Empire.

38 AE - Wordmakers are invented.

46 AE - Taspheres are invented.

60 AE - Azkalar the Preserver becomes the new Emperor.

90 AE - Azkalar the Wise becomes the new Emperor.

120 AE - Azkalar the Honest becomes the new Emperor.

150 AE - Azkalar the Strong becomes the new Emperor.

180 AE - Azkalar the Popular becomes the new Emperor.

188 AE - The newborn daughter of Emperor Azkalar the Popular is cursed by a Witch.
The Witch is executed immediately, but the child (named Astoria) is doomed to fall sleep for eternity when she reaches adulthood.

205 AE - Princess Astoria, Daughter of Emperor, reaches adulthood and falls asleep for eternity, as predicted.

210 AE - Azkalar the Great becomes the new Emperor.

214 AE - The Empire makes first contact with the flying nation of Harpies when a magical giant beanstalk reaches their land in the clouds.

240 AE - Azkalar the Peaceful becomes the new Emperor.

270 AE - Azkalar the Savior becomes the new Emperor.

282 AE - The Underwater Nation of merpeople is discovered and first contact is made.

300 AE - Azkala the Beautiful becomes the first Empress.

330 AE - Azkalar the Loving becomes the new Emperor.

358 AE - The Emperor hosts a ball to find a suitable wife for his son, Prince Antos.
A commoner girl named Cindy goes to the ball when her godmother uses magic to create clothes for her.
The Prince chooses her, and Cindy becomes the first commoner to become a princess.

360 AE - Prince Antos becomes Emperor Azkalar the Diplomat.

390 AE - Azkalar the Normal becomes the new Emperor.

403 AE - Imagers are invented.

420 AE - Azkalar the Gold becomes the new Emperor.

436 AE - The Emperor is assassinated by a Grumk The Witch, who takes over the Empire using her magic.
Emperor's daughter, Alia, is sentenced to death. However, she manages to escape to the Gremlin Nation.

439 AE - With the help of Gremlins, Princess Alia kills Grumk the Witch and liberates the Empire from her influence.
She herself isn't able to rule the Empire yet, so she names her uncle Alastor, the Acting Emperor.

450 AE - Princess Alia becomes Empress Alia the Brave.

452 AE - Cloth Alkaners are invented.

453 AE - Dish Alkaners are invented.

470 AE - The Klao Drink is introduced.

480 AE - Prince Amis becomes Azkalar the Stargazer.

505 AE - Princess Astoria is freed from her eternal sleep when a commoner man kisses her on the lips.

510 AE - Princess Astoria becomes Empress Astoria the Eternal.

521 AE - Lumus Engines are invented.

540 AE - Azkalar the Discoverer becomes the new Emperor.

570 AE - Azkalar the Handsome becomes the new Emperor.

575 AE - A witch named Babayaga starts kidnapping children and using their blood for Death Magic rituals.
Two children, Hansel and Gretel, outsmart the witch and burn her alive.

600 AE - Azkalar the Mad becomes the new Emperor.

612 AE - Princess Akia marries a werewolf, causing the Weres to be much more accepted in the human society.
However, by law, she loses the possibility of ever ruling the Empire. This gives her sister, Amia, that possibility.

628 AE - Soundmitters are invented.

630 AE - Princess Amia becomes Empress Amia the Young

647 AE - Ganasand is invented. It changes buildings and construction forever.

660 AE - Azkalar the Noble becomes the new Emperor.

675 AE - The card game Ugito is invented. It quickly becomes the most popular game in the Empire.

682 AE - First Imperial Ugito Championship is held. The winner is a man from the Color Region, Astos Drade.

690 AE - Astoria the Wise becomes the new Empress.

711 AE - Soundunicators are invented.

720 AE - Azkalar the Wizard becomes the new Emperor.

745 AE - A witch curses Prince Aklaos and turns him into a frog.
When a commoner girl kisses the frog, he becomes human again and the two marry.

750 AE - Prince Aklaos becomes Emperor Azkalar the Bright.

762 AE - Zinners are invented.

774 AE - First Imperial Byok Championship takes place.

780 AE - Azkalar the Timeless becomes the new Emperor.

810 AE - Azkalar the Sailor becomes the new Emperor.

840 AE - Amia the Chaotic becomes the new Empress.

844 AE - Idaswavers are invented.

869 AE - A wizard named Rumpelstiltzkin invents the Name Taboo Spell which allows him to detect anyone speaking his name.

870 AE - Azkalar the Conqueror becomes the new Emperor.

897 AE - Duplicators are invented.

900 AE - Azkalar the White becomes the new Emperor.

921 AE - Soundwavers are invented.

930 AE - Astoria the Pure becomes the new Empress.

933 AE - A man named Geppetto invents the Automatons.

947 AE - Visionsavers are invented.

960 AE - Azkalar the Healer becomes the new Emperor.

978 AE - Comirrors are invented.

990 AE - Azkalar the Trader becomes the new Emperor.

1020 AE - Azkalar the Peacebringer becomes the new Emperor.

1026 AE - Nuxeshooters are invented, changing warfare forever.

1050 AE - Azkala the Miner becomes the new Empress.

1072 AE - Mirrorvision is invented.

1080 AE - Amia the Happy becomes the new Empress.

1085 AE - Infomags are invented.

1087 AE - The Malpine Drug finds its way into the general population, causing much damage.

1090 AE - First Vush Stations are built.

1095 AE - Widespread Loming becomes available.

1096 AE - The Infonet is created.

1112 AE - Idasthrowers are invented, bringing fire to wars.

1140 AE - Azkalar the Warmaster becomes the new Emperor.

1157 AE - Charie Andel, later known as Madam Lala, is born.

1170 AE - Azkalar the Constructor becomes the new Emperor.

1174 AE - The 200th Imperial Byok Championship takes place in the Capitol of the Empire.

1180 AE - Madam Lala starts performing across the Empire.

1181 AE - The alien Species of Kltktk discover the planet and are baffled by the existence of magic.
Since they cannot comprehend it, they decide to take over the planet without destroying it. The preparations take them a year.

1182 AE - Present Day. The 500th Imperial Ugito Championship was to be held this year, but was cancelled due to the Kltktk Invasion.



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M) Religion of the Empire
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While no religion has been proven to be real, the official and most popular religion of the Empire, is the belief in the God of Six Bodies.

It states that the universe was created by a omnipotent being, known as Tamesensiquaed.

He did it by splitting himself into six beings: Tas (Time), Meria (Matter), Sentom (Souls), Sidis (Space), Quam (Dimensions) and Edelo (Elements).

His incredible powers however, became the omnipresent magic, which sentient beings can control.

The souls of all sentients go to the Void after they die. There, they wait for the Last Day.

The Last Day is a time that will come when the Six Beings will merge once more into Tamesensiquaed which will bring Judgement Day.

On the Last Day, those who were evil in their life, shall be destroyed. Those who were good, will be awarded another life in the Next World.

The Next World will be created by Tamesensiquaed after this one ceases to exist. It will be vastly different and nobody knows how it will look.

There are Six Laws that cannot be broken. They are used to determine if someone was good or evil.

1.Do not Murder Sentients.
2.Do not Torture Sentients.
3.Do not Rape Sentients.
4.Do not Deceive Sentients.
5.Do not Betray Sentients.
6.Do not Devour Sentients.

If you break any of these laws, you are beyond redemption.


The Sacred Symbol of Tamesensiquaed:

Tas-Meria-Sentom-Sidis-Quam-Edelo


Elemental Cross:

Life
|
Water
|
Light-Air-Energy-Earth-Dark
|
Fire
|
Death​

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N)Alien Invaders - Kltktk
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The Kltktk are an aggresive, expansionist race that left their homeworld in 1147, because it was destroyed by a natural disaster.
(A great asteroid crashed into the planet)

The Kltktk have dark, grey skin. Four arms. Long tail. Three eyes.
The eyes of the females are yellow, while the eyes of the males are red.
Males also have two black horns on their head.
In turn, females have longer and sharper teeth, capable of releasing a juice poisonous to all species except Kltktk.

This species is carnivorous.

On their ships, they breed animals to eat.
These animals, spider-like mammals called Grtgrrt, eat rocks, so gathering food for them is extremely easy.

The Kltktk arrived near Azkalar in the year 1181 AE. They were confused and scared by magic as it defied their scientific laws.
They decided to invade the planet and enslave all sentients to get access to magic themselves and to understand it.

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@CheddarTrek I'm going with the mindset that it's better to have things planned and prepared just in case, instead of inventing things as I go.

Still, thank you for taking the time to post. Also, I don't know what NaNoWriMo is.

 

One thing - Name Taboo Spell. It bears too much to resemblance to Rowling's so you might want to change that.

 

Good thinking. Will do, thanks.

 

No- name taboo type deals have been around way longer than Rowling. Sure, it is similar but if I'm not mistaken he's dumping a lot of the old fairy tales into his history and Ol' Rump is known for that particular spell if I'm not mistaken. And sleeping for 50 years.

Edit: unless he gets talked out of it that easy.

 

Well fairy tales were something I always admired, because they basically became a part of the human culture,
mothers around the world, throughout history have told their children these stories which is why I don't consider them fiction in the sense you'd consider Harry Potter fictional.
Instead, I see them on the same level as various legends and mythologies.

Which is why I added Rumpelstiltskin and his spell to the story.
I mean, I can't really have him without his ability to know when someone speaks his name.

I'm guessing Rowling was also inspired by him when she put the Taboo Spell in her series.

 

There's a general rule I follow regarding complexity of games. The simpler the system, the richer the possibilities, the deeper the strategy.

Which is why go has more strategic depth than a game like chess even if the rules are amazingly simple, although that may simply be due to board size but I digress.

How does this relate to your magic system? You've added layers but each layer adds restrictions.

In some ways, magic is best when it resembles science: limited only by a few fundamental laws and our own understanding of them. (Although, it seems that most posters disagree.)

I think it would be interesting to keep two separate understandings of magic: one would be about the state of magic as it has been discovered to date and the other where things are fundamentally true.

I won't touch the aspect on souls but you could boil the 'limitations' down to a few 'principles':
1. Something cannot be created from nothing. [1]
2. One cannot accomplish a task via magic without a sufficient understanding of the task. [2]
3. The closer the nature of two substances, the easier it is to change from one to another.
4. The less reactive a substance is the harder it is to change via magic. [3]

Although, I'm not sure if the alien physics is correct and the natives can warp reality or that the alien physics is fundamentally lacking in some manner.

1. Not sure why you have some things that can be created from nothing and not others. Anyway matter and energy is everywhere so I think a harder statement works.
2. This does not have to be the correct understanding, it just has to be a sufficient understanding. For example making something, 'go in direction x at speed y' would be sufficient to move something. But making food would be beyond anyone's understanding, although I suppose a genius might be able to make pure sugar from a tree or something.
3. This brings in a whole host of problems but this does explain why platinum, gold, etc. are magic resistant.

Keep or discard any of the ideas you like. I'll avoid saying anything else (unless you ask for clarification) before I try to turn this into a magic system I would create.