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WIP Pam, Pete, and Harley by Wiggles-n-stuff - T - Batman + Spider-Man Crossover

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by DerHesse, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

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    Title: Pam, Pete, and Harley
    Author: Wiggles-n-stuff
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: WIP
    Published: Sep 21, 2013
    Updated: Aug 21, 2015
    Chapters: 10 - Words: 139,275
    Fandom: Batman + Spider-Man Crossover
    Pairings: Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Peter P./Spider-Man

    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9702387/1/Pam-Pete-and-Harley

    Good ol' Parker Luck. Peter Parker is living with two very attractive ladies. Both are strong, intelligent... and villains. Oh boy. Spidey is sucked into the DC verse by accident, and immediately stumbles upon the two women. How will the web-head deal with this new world, and what's the goal of the Sirens in keeping him under thumb?

    I recently stumbled over this fic and read it in one go. I needed a bit time to get into the story, because of the way Spider-Man handles the 4th wall and how the point in time changes in on chapter, but by now I actually like the tone of the story and the way things go. I give it a 4/5, because I don't need my stories to be over the top gritty and like the lighthearted parts.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 31, 2016
  2. Nuit

    Nuit Dark Lord

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  3. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

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  4. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage ~ Prestige ~

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    Is this like a poly romance, are the girls dating, seeing that Ivy and Harley is one of the more popular yuri ships in the DC fandom and canon (kinda) and Peter is kinda caught up in their shenanigans, or is it a stupid love triangle?
     
  5. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

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    The girls aren't dating. It's more along the lines of an older sister trying to protect a younger sister. (Harley and Ivy). Harley gets attached to Peter pretty early, but Ivy uses him for her own plans. Peter thinks they are hot and takes what he gets.
     
  6. Paranoid Android

    Paranoid Android Professor

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    Yeah this is pretty terrible. 1/5.
    First paragraph we've got italics to indicate the internal monologue of Peter Parker. Which is a technique that I guess can be used well, however as this author uses it to dump three paragraphs of basic backstory on spider-man I'll safely chalk this one out to a wash. Dude you don't have to list the basic powers of spider-man and if you do don't use what appears to be a poor attempt at zany snark to do it.
    Finally it looks like we've finished with the italics. Not off to a good start though.
    "Honey's I'm home". I guess in the hands of a more competent writer this could have been a mildly witty way to introduce the 'wacky' situation, Peter has found himself in, with a call back to classical sitcoms. Unfortunately it contains a pretty basic mistake, here's a hint it should be honeys or honies (though if the character isn't from the hood don't use the second), and the author follows up the line by listing the clothes spider-man is wearing. The next couple paragraphs are pretty par for the course; more listing of information, wow he's just straight up said the building looks like one from a movie, more dialogue that’s giving me the nagging feeling it is meant to be amusing or at least endearing.
    At this point we're back to paragraphs of italics and I'm out.
     
  7. inshooteki

    inshooteki Squib

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    I made it through four chapters. If you've ever seen the newest Spider-Man cartoon (which is pretty good, all three seasons on Netflix) then this is basically that, shit ton of inner dialogue and a lot of bad puns. The plot is soso and the characters are pretty one dimensional. The formatting is shit. The writing is dense, but somehow manages to convey nothing. Plus there are a bunch of grammatical mistakes, this author does not know how to stick to a tense.

    2/5 read if you're dying and need bad jokes to survive.
     
  8. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

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    I needed three or four chapters to get used to the internal monologue and the jumps back and forth. It isn't a gem, but it's enough to waste an afternoon.