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Complete Returning to the Start by timunderwood9 - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Hero of Stupidity, Mar 21, 2015.

  1. Hero of Stupidity

    Hero of Stupidity Villain of Sensibility ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Title: Returning to the Start
    Author: timunderwood9
    Rating: M
    Genre: Romance / Time-Travel
    DLP-Category: The Alternates
    Chapters: 9
    Words: 40,170
    Updated: Oct 31, 2014
    Published: Sep 12, 2014
    Status: Complete
    Pairing: Harry/Hermione

    Summary: Harry killed them once. Now that he is eleven he'll kill them again. Hermione knows her wonderful best friend has a huge secret, but that just means he needs her more.

    Link: Returning to the Start

    A H/Hr time travel romance where they don't become a couple until Hermione is twenty one, and Harry kills death eaters without the help of children.

    It's not terribly long but it is completed with solid grammar. I wasn't gonna rec it but then I changed my mind. It's nothing terrible new, or deep. But readable H/Hr timetravel is rare.

    3,5/5




    Edit by Minion:
    Moved to the correct subforum
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2015
  2. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    The author's profile shows that she is unhealthily obsessed with Love Potion Ginny and Evil Dumbledore. Does any of that bullshit show up in her story?
     
  3. Hero of Stupidity

    Hero of Stupidity Villain of Sensibility ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Not really, Dumbledore and Ginny are practically non entity in the fic.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  4. BadManners

    BadManners DA Member DLP Supporter

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    The writing in this fic is... off. I can't place it, but despite the lack of glaring gramatical faults and mispellings it still reads unpleasantly. Getting to the second chapter makes this immediately more obvious as while the subject matter dangerously parallels Circular Reasoning, the writing and even just the progression of events fall so short of the comparison. Maybe it's unfair because CR is ridiculously well written, and maybe this author has never heard of CR, but it doesn't change how watered down it all felt.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2015
  5. Joncis

    Joncis Third Year

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    It starts off pretty weak, but the last half of it was a decent read. The author improves a fair bit from the beginning of the fic to the end, so don't worry too much about the writing in the first chapter.

    And I'd also give it a 3.5/5.
     
  6. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    I moved the posts to the correct subforum.
     
  7. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    See below.

    lol k
     
  8. Stormey

    Stormey Groundskeeper

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    To be fair, that sounds more like a "Useless Dumbledore" rather than "Evil Dumbledore"
     
  9. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    I read about 500 of the 40k words and I read something about Hermione giggling, twice. Vernon was shouted at by Harry. And Harry was sad Hermione died. And uh, Draco was saying something like, "Blast you, Harry Potter!"

    Standard timetravel tripe. Writing is bland and couldn't pull me in for a single sentance. There's nothing here to write home about. 1/5
     
  10. KGB

    KGB Headmaster

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    This was the most violently terrible fic I've tried to read in a while. Every time I roll my eyes and push past a terrible plot point/cliche I just offers up another one.

    -Harry killing Malfoys with a nuke
    -Voldemort being incredibly easy to kill, but Dumbledore didn't do it for some reason.
    -Dumbledore bashing
    -Harry being sent back in time by random people. Thus such a spell exists and could have been used on Voldemort/grindelwald/any dark wizard, yet hasn't been used.
    -The Harry, Hermione "friendship". Feels more like grooming.
    -Harry not being able to just go after death eaters because of his core...

    I tried reading this but it just beat me into submission of the red x.
     
  11. prtclehysics

    prtclehysics Third Year

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    This is a joke, right?
     
  12. Charlesnaismith

    Charlesnaismith First Year

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    Elsewhen
    I thought this had some nice elements, the interesting thing for me is that it is really a romance story. The time travel and defeat of Voldemort are just part of the setup for the romance.

    The writing was decent, some of the cliches at the start grated but overall ok.

    3/5
     
  13. Drunken dark lord

    Drunken dark lord First Year

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    simply god awful. The plotholes didn't help.
    1/5
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2015
  14. Clerith

    Clerith Ahegao Emperor ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The grammar might be solid, but the writing style was god awful. The opening scene had me gagging and wanting to close the fic right away. The rest of the first chapter didn't change my opinion at all.

    I skimmed some of the rest... no. Just no.

    2/5.

    If you can stand the ugh Hermione and the almost disgusting prose, this might be readable, but... no.
     
  15. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Not to mention Harry's obsession with killing as the only answer.

    0.5/5
     
  16. esran

    esran Professor

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    The concentrated terrible is impressive. Absolutely no good content whatsoever in the first 3 chapters. painful to read.
    1/5
     
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