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RL Questions that don't deserve their own thread

Discussion in 'Real Life Discussion' started by CheddarTrek, May 31, 2013.

  1. Seyllian

    Seyllian Professor DLP Supporter

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    I mean... its not really any of your business. Why would you ask her that?
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2017
  2. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    You're going to want to gauge your questions on how well you know someone. Asking them why they're somewhere, doesn't really bode well unless you have legit concern, know them enough to ask that question, or its in anyway relevant to the conversation you're having.

    For example. If you're asking their location or for confirmation, be like, hey girl you look fine and I'm a block a way from you. Wanna netflix and chill?

    My answer still stands to the original question.
     
  3. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I imagine they have it enabled so that it can be used by their friends in an appropriate (i.e. non-invasive, non-weird) manner. And also to geolocate their pics so they can use location-specific filters.
     
  4. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    So she didn't report me as a sexual predator. I apologized to her and she said she accepted. As far as she is concerned she only wants to talk to me at work now. I'm a fuck nut, and I'm still not sure about her. Now I'm going to breath a little easier knowing that I'm not going to be fired and or charged as being a stalker.

    At this point I wouldn't say no to an aluminum bat to the back of the head.
     
  5. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Did you read anything of what anyone said to you here?
     
  6. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Yes. And I was under the impression I was a dumb ass. At this point the lesson learned is don't have relations at work and watch your god damn mouth
     
  7. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I think it was more a lesson in tact. You say "relations" at work. Relations at work to me is that you know the female involved very well, and you and her are DTF all the time.

    But, she doesn't want anything serious, only wants to fuck. And you went too far by asking too many personal questions.

    But what I think it really is, you're friends with someone on snapchat at work, and you have a passing familiarity with them, and got way too personal and it made them uncomfortable.

    You can talk to people at work, be semi-intimate and engaged with them without having "relations." Intimate in this context is being upset or feeling empathy for their personal problems. Work and Personal life are pretty well intertwined especially if you work in a firm where you see the same people everyday. "Relations" does over-complicate things, but its usually due to the fact that there is a stressor involved. Like sex. However, you have to have tact in how you approach them.

    I think my example was you could ask them about their location, only if it applied to the context of the conversation. I'm still not clear of the conversation you actually had with this woman, so I'll end it there.

    Good that you're not in HR hell. Good you learned your lesson, hopefully you took from it more than don't have relations at work and to watch your goddamn mouth.
     
  8. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Both Zombie and your coworker are being way nicer than you deserve to be honest. You should be very, very thankful because this is the best outcome that could have possibly happened, and was probably the least likely as well.

    You won the lottery, don't fuck it up.
     
  9. Palindrome

    Palindrome Magma Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    So my Grandad's lost the dexterity in his fingers to do things like turn pages of a book, or the strength to hold it up easily. I tried to set him up with my kindle but he couldn't press the button on the bottom to turn it on.

    Can anyone recommend any good entertainment alternatives to TV that don't require delicate hand movements?
     
  10. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Audiobooks might be a good way to go.
     
  11. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I second this. Most systems have decent voice command interfaces.
     
  12. Thaumologist

    Thaumologist Chief Warlock

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    You could try a lectern, and a rubber thimble? I know a few people at work use them for going through large piles of paper, so it might make it easier if only has to run his finger across the page, rather than lifting it?
    If you tried him with an ebook maybe? Then you could leave it turned on, and all he'd have to do would be pages, which would be a less recessed button (or maybe just a screen tap, if configured right).
    Failing that, like Taure said, audiobooks could be good. I don't like them though, because I'd rather read the book, I can't just sit there.

    Alternativey, maybe chess? There's clubs everywhere, and if he does like it, then a vs.computer one is much cheaper than it used to be. I'm sure I've seen a voice activated computer-based one, too, but those ones can get expensive pretty quickly.
     
  13. cucio

    cucio First Year

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    Voice controlled ebook? This video shows someone controlling the Android Kindle app with voice commands:

     
  14. Hawky

    Hawky Squib

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    Good Afternoon DLP,

    Long time reader, rare poster. Only here because I need some advice and not sure where else to ask.

    I've been in a relationship with someone for the last 18 months, during which time she has become seriously ill and has been unable to work. This has caused a strain on our relationship as she has become very dependent on me, financially and otherwise. Her illness has caused her to fall into depression and has quite often had suicidal thoughts. She has been on and off anti depressants for the last year and refuses to go to counselling, as she says she has tried it before and didn't work. I do get the feeling that there is something that has happened in her past that she hasn't told me about and that is why she doesn't want to go, although when I ask she only says she doesn't want to go because she doesn't like talking about her feelings to strangers.

    I feel like I'm taken for granted in this relationship. We leave a fair distance away from each other and it's always me that has to travel. It's always me that does the cooking. It's always me that has to step in with financial help when needed. I feel very unappreciated. Due to her illness she struggles to sleep sometimes, and being in the UK it is a bank holiday weekend, we got into an argument because I didn't wake her up and let her sleep. I did apologize to her but long story short we haven't spoken since.

    I don't want to give the impression that I'm not in the wrong for any of this. I have issues with my temper. I do fly off the handle more often then I would like - (today I have tried and successfully not lost it) and I'm not the easiest person to communicate with. I don't like to be confrontational, even when their are problems in our relationship which need to be addressed.

    I appreciate it's a complicated situation. Even if I was so inclined I couldn't just walk away because I would spend my time worrying about her doing something to herself.

    Any advice would be appreciated.

    Cheers.
     
  15. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    That sucks man. Remember, time is relative. You're not married, and you have no children.

    Sounds like her problem and not yours. You've only been in the relationship for 18 months. It is what you make of it. If she can't seek counseling, and you've advised her that it may benefit her, you can only advise, you can't force someone to do what they don't want to.

    Have you expressed this verbally, and in a non-explosive way? If you have, and they can't listen, sounds like a problem with them, not you.

    You can only take so much shit, even if it's another person. Dealing with sick people is crippling. I should know. I have a permanent bed on the cancer ward pretty much, and I'm sick all the time. I know it affects my wife, and my family, and I try to limit that impact as much as possible. Even then, there is often a point in time when you have to put some distance between you and the problem and come back at it with a fresh head.

    You're not married to this girl, it seems. You've been in a relationship for 18 months. Remember how I said time is relative? I've been married since I was 18, and I'm now 30. So, your relationship is ultimately going to be what you make of it. You can live in fear of hurting someone else's feelings. Or you can be honest and if they get salt about it, that's their problem. You atleast spoke to what you feel. If they can't address any of the issues, or act like they're going to make a change, what other than guilt is keeping you in the relationship?

    You can't build anything lasting on fear or guilt. You'll end up loathing it. Cut the cord.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2017
  16. Hawky

    Hawky Squib

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    Thank you for the advice. No, you're right. I'm not married to her. And yes, we've only been together for 18 months but it is the most serious relationship I've ever been in and have built an emotional attachment.

    I really don't want to end up resenting her because of this. But things are getting worse and something needs to be done to at least attempt to improve things. I'll sit her down and speak to her again about the counselling because something needs to be done.
     
  17. wordhammer

    wordhammer Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Dude, you may need to seek counseling as well. You've been drawn into this person's downward spiral and she's maneuvered you into making the ride smoother for her. Don't be suckered into feeling guilty when you get angry for being manipulated. That's not cruel, that's part of your brain trying to protect you. Listen to it.

    You didn't make her sick. It's not your responsibility to support her, particularly if she's unwilling to take all help available. Not trusting counseling because she can't trust her problems to strangers? She's implying that you're the only one who can help her, which feels great when you get that ego-stroking praise, but it's a ploy to keep you hooked.
     
  18. someone010101

    someone010101 Groundskeeper

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    Agreed on the counceling issue. She has a problem: Her illness. You have a problem: Your relationship. I coudn't tell you how to rebuild or if you should cut it. To far away, to little experience. Counceling may help clear your thoughts or maybe even show new avenues you could explore.
     
  19. Hawky

    Hawky Squib

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    Thanks for the advice everybody. We had a conversation today, I tried to broach the subject and it went horrifically. Safe to say we are not currently on speaking terms. I did manage to keep control of my temper though, it didn't really help but still.

    It's still the day of the incident and emotions are running high but I am of the opinion right now to let the relationship die. You guys are right, her illness and her mental illness are not my fault. She did say earlier that she depends on me to manage her mental illness and I told her she couldn't/shouldn't do that. Then she stormed out and I didn't go after her.

    I didn't even get to broach the counselling again.
     
  20. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, that sounds pretty toxic. You'd just end up seeking vindication from someone that will never give it to you. Too wrapped up in their own shit to realize they're hurting someone else.

    I'd say take a nice vacation and get a new phone number/area code permanently. There are plenty of other fish, and just because one of them paid you some attention for the first time in your life doesn't mean you need to be house boy for the rest of your time together.

    Enjoy your freedom.