Title: Schism
Author: My blue rose
Rating: T
Genre:Adventure
Status: Work in Progress (Words 11,750)
Library Category: the Alternates
Pairings: none
Summary: Harry Potter knows he is a wizard. He knows he is going to Hogwarts, where he will make friends for the first time in his life. He knows this because the Voice in his head told him so. The Voice says it is Harry from the future but Harry just wishes it would stop trying to take over his body.

Link: FanFiction.Net

The premise of this fic reminds me of some of the Harry possessed by Voldemort stories around at the moment. The switch to Harry being possessed by Future Harry is a nice play on the genre.

While the author has some odd opinions on their profile page the story so far is a refreshing take on the peggy sue genre. The world otherwise is pleasantly in character and the conflict and compromises between Harry and Future Harry drives the story in a satisfying way.

4/5

I am aware that the story is still quite short and has no end currently in sight. Frankly I would prefer to give people the option of reviewing rather than not find the story at all.

 

Well about half the fic is just Harry shopping in Diagon alley and we're only just reaching Hogwarts now. Still it was pretty interesting.

 

There is hardly anything to rate here. The premise is interesting, but very little has happened so far. What is there is decent, but so far it looks to be a canon rehash with very little conflict.

I feel this would have been a better fit in the Almost Recommended thread, but no one has used it since the change in rules.

 

I didn't make it past trunk shopping.There are some spelling mistakes and other grammar errors. If I had to rate, I would rate 2/5, but I won't.

 

Almost recommendable at best.

A textbook example of how a good starting idea does not a good story make. 2/5

 

The idea is sound. Very interesting, in fact. However, there isn't much to tell about the direction this will take as of now. There are several spelling and grammar mistakes throughout.

The author is trying to avoid cliches but it isn't in a way that's interesting. For eg. Harry still goes to buy a trunk but instead of the feather light charm, she just changed it to weight-less charm or something like that. I was also quickly getting irritated by the 11 year old Harry for some reason.

2.5/5 rounded off to 3/5 just for the idea.

 

It's a fun idea with a very not fun implementation. The writing is very bland and the interaction between young and old Harry feels so lifeless. The young Harry mostly does everything he can to not obey the voice in his head, which is understandable in many ways but often a bit frustrating.

I'd give this a 2/5. The only thing that makes you want to read more is the hope that the writer will pull off the idea - which I don't think is going to happen. It feels like a canon rehash in the making.

 

Very boring.
Like every fanfic that has any amount of time spent in Diagon Alley, it needs to have less time spent in Diagon alley.
I don't care what kind of wand holster he has, or what wood his trunk is made of. I don't care that he bought an expensive chess set. Why did he buy an expensive chess set? Its like the author just stuck in everything he thought it would be cool for Harry to have.
2/5. I love the idea, but, it would need a total rewrite at this point to be salvageable.

 

It's to learn strategy so he can better fight death eater battles, silly.