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WIP Seed by TheOtherAnt (Worm)(AU)

Discussion in 'Other Review Board' started by Zombie, Aug 26, 2017.

  1. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    395
    Location:
    Within the Garden of Nurgle.
    High Score:
    2,094
    Title: Seed
    Author: TheOtherAnt
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure/Crime
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: Other Fandom: Worm
    Pairings: None
    Summary: An alternate universe where the Endbringers attack in a few different places and order that leads to Taylor gaining Blasto's shard. Desperate to be a hero, Taylor does something clever but incredibly dangerous to give herself the power to save the city and chooses to become a Heroic Warlord to save the city from itself.

    Link: FFN

    I didn't see this posted anywhere, fuck me if it already has been.

    So, this starts off kind of slow, and I've tried reading it multiple times. Its Taylor with Blasto's powers, and a couple others for added dramatic affect. Its definitely AU, and I really have enjoyed it.

    I didn't want to read it at first, because I thought Blasto's powers were shit, but with like most AU fics, or Alt-power Taylor, they ramped this one up by having her take abilities from other dead parahumans, I won't list who, but its what made me keep reading the fic in the end, just to see how fucked up things can go.

    The pacing is kind of slow, but then things start to escalate. I always hate worm fics where the PRT and everyone is always out to get the Hero, or the person trying to be a hero for whatever reason. I get that they have knee-jerk reactions to certain power sets, and I was honestly hoping with this being an AU they wouldn't have the same knee-jerk reaction as every other fic.

    What I do like is that it doesn't focus on the locker scene that much, it doesn't focus on the bullying that much. I fucking hate reading 20 chapters of them being bullied and pretending that they don't care about it etc. That higher road bullshit is what made me lose interest in Worm to begin with.

    Taylor is/isn't in school, but it's not a focus. Which is nice. She's smart, she adapts well, and she fucks shit up in typical Taylor fashion.

    I think the trend with Taylor is that no matter how much good she tries to do, she does it with like Lenny from of Mice and Men. And inevitably kills someone, or makes people doubt her.

    It does have interludes, but it took something like 14 chapters to get to one. It does have a PHO chapter where they do that back and forth shit. I will say that it is a medium in which they deliver key details about the plot, so I would try and stomach through bits of it, or when the person that's signed into PHO does their PMs pay attention to that. I don't think a worm author can write a worm fic without including a PHO scene anymore.

    Overall, I'd give it a 4/5. Its 246k words, and it looks like there is a lot still left to happen. Lots of OCs in some cases, but they're used to showcase different power sets. I like their powers. Lots of new villains and a decent dynamic of how the gangs are deployed in Brockton Bay.

    So, give it a read. Tell us (forums) what you think.
     
  2. Paradise

    Paradise Slug Club Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2015
    Messages:
    191
    Location:
    Maine
    Figured this would already be in the Library. The writing is rather slow paced but the its so satisfying. The build up and just overall experience of this fic is entirely unique to the worm fandom. 5/5
     
  3. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    395
    Location:
    Within the Garden of Nurgle.
    High Score:
    2,094
    Yeah, I was surprised as well. Great fic though, it's one of the better AUs I've found.
     
  4. ASmallBundleOfToothpicks

    ASmallBundleOfToothpicks Professor

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2010
    Messages:
    415
    Location:
    Tir-Na-Nogth
    Ugh. Well, here goes:

    Grammar: 2/5- Missing words, punctuation, and a solid helping of misspelled words. It's usually clear enough what's missing from context, but it is a glaring problem. It does get a little better towards the end.

    Prose: 2/5- It reads a lot like a textbook. Definitely below par. Also, interludes aren't labeled, which can be a bit confusing. it does improve as it goes on, but the dialogue is always a weakness.

    Characterization: 3/5 It's a pretty generic tinker!Taylor. On top of that, it can be a bit difficult to differentiate the characters who end up narrating. It gets much better, but the early chapters are tough to slog through. It would be fairer to say that the first 10 chapters are 2/5, and the ones after trend toward 3.5/5. There's a frustrating tendency for some pretty silly moralizing from some of the later introductions, like Dragon. On the plus side though, I quite like most of the OCs.

    Plot: 2/5- It's a clear curbstomp fic. Taylor gets up to all sorts of bullshit without anyone even noticing, she uses her powers to become Bruce Wayne-level rich, and then she's practically unstoppable. Structurally, what I like the most about it is that the Author is completely willing to change stuff and let Taylor's actions have consequences. The problem lies in the fact that Taylor is always able to steamroll these complications. Like most tinker!Taylor stories, Seed suffers from an arc centered around her tech. You don't actually need to read it to make sense of the story, though. The rating I give it is a little misleading, though. There's a lot of interesting analysis of why the PRT and Protectorate are failing so badly, there's some really neat character arcs, particularly of Phoenix. Taylor's character arc is very cathartic, especially in the most recent chapters. Despite all this, the fundamental problems in how this story is set up drag everything else very far down indeed. It also suffers from the usual flaw, inherited from the source material, of suspension of disbelief breaking pacing. In two months, Taylor is able take over part of a Brockton Bay that is not only much larger, but much more important to the nation, while also becoming incredibly wealthy, working out an End of Civilization model, recruit a super team, figure out how Shards work, work out a way to prevent the collapse of Civlization, and somehow still having time to butt into Danny's budding romance with Ms. Millitia. All of this, in two months.

    Overall: 9/20, averaged to 2.25/5. I'll drop it to 2/5, though, because this sucker needs a rewrite or two.