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WIP Shinji and Warhammer40K by Charles Bhepin - T - Evangelion

Discussion in 'Evangelion' started by Robo Jesus, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. Chaoticblues

    Chaoticblues Professor

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    I really like this story so I gave it 5/5 at the beginning, but man it is really getting tiresome to read. I stopped at chapter because from there it just felt like a chore.
     
  2. Belgarion213

    Belgarion213 Slug Club Member

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    The fic does slow down immensely about 10-13 chapters in and then stays that way for like 8 chapters. However a LOT of the stuff that looks like pointless filler is actually setup for Bpen's later extrapolations and changes.
     
  3. Kraken

    Kraken Sixth Year

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    Double update. He concluded the whole Cradle arc. Pretty damn epic and a lot of not-so-subtle shout outs to Gurren Lagann.
     
  4. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

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    It's good, very good.

    The first chapter were nothing special, but from the kidnapping of Shinji it got more epic with each chapter.

    Than came the Javaal arc, which for me was one big "what the fuck?"

    The parts after Javaal, IMO, are uneven in quality. While the Iruel and Cradel parts are very good and satisfying the Leliel part was disappointing and felt artificial.

    But the best part of this story is the characteristics of Kaworu. Now that is a true villain, which can be liked even more than the main character.

    I give it 5 stars out of 5 stars.
     
  5. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion DLP Supporter

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    This story definitely grabbed me at first, and for the the first two dozen chapters, I couldn't stop reading. But lately it's gotten a bit boring, really. I still hold out hope for true greatness eventually - it's impressive, but not the greatest ever. Perhaps it couldn't hold up the pace.

    I highly approve of the author's motto:
    Plot: Well, it's a rehash, but with some pretty good original elements. The Warhammer bit does integrate very well indeed.
    4.0

    Characterization: Very good. The author has a real handle on the the characters.
    4.0

    Originality: Extremely. Perhaps too much. It can be overwhelming at times.
    4.0

    Entertainment: Very entertaining, but for me, gets a bit draggy after a 30 huge chapters.
    4.0

    Technical: Above average, with rare typos.
    4.5

    Potential: I hope to see this become amazing, but I don't know.
    4.5

    COULD I EVEN FINISH IT?
    Yeah, basically

    Chapter & Word Count/Review Ratio: 39 chapters, 643,284 words, 950 reviews or
    24 reviews per chapter / 677 words per review => Surprisingly low

    Rating (average + handicaps): 4.0

    Andro's Sliding Scale of Fanfic Reviews Says:
    [​IMG]

    Or: Yeah, it's fun to read. But not quite "amazing".
     
  6. Kraken

    Kraken Sixth Year

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    See this become amazing? How the hell is it not already amazing?

    Macedonian Terminators? Russian made Leman Russ tanks? Psykers blowing up zombies

    What the hell do you want????
     
  7. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

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    Well it just keeps getting better and better. Supposedly there's talk of going to Mars believe it or not.
     
  8. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Wonder if they'll discover the Void Dragon under there...
     
  9. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

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    Nah. Probably they will discover Arael or Armisael out there and they will look like a dragon. And of course Kaworu's Cradle will show there also. And SEELE. For shit and giggles. And it will still be :awesome

    Unless they (A&A) came to Tokyo-3 as suggested at the end of the last chapter.
     
  10. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion DLP Supporter

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    Sometimes it just becomes too "self-important" for my tastes. I don't always get all the references either, which probably affects my enjoyment of it. It's not accessible enough for me, and I don't really need that much accessibility to be honest. If I start skipping through scenes due to boredom, it's not amazing - to me, anyway.
     
  11. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Oh god, it'll be 2020 before we see the end.
    Shinji becomes the God Emperor
     
  12. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    That's a big surprise.
    I started reading it twice and both times I kind of lost interest around the half-way mark and when I got more motivation for reading the story again I had already forgotten where I stopped.

    Let's see how the rewrite will go.
     
  13. Red Aviary

    Red Aviary Hogdorinclawpuff Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, after reading the Last Child of Krypton rewrite I was thinking that this story could probably use one too.

    He also needs a beta (or a better one if he has one already).
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2012
  14. SmileOfTheKill

    SmileOfTheKill Magical Amber

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    Florida, Sigh...
    I'm surprised people care for this story. Charles Bhepin is a rather boring writer. He can write many a things with such a skill, but such as Joe, he can only make stupid epic things. Everything he does is so overblown that I don't care about anyone.

    Points of Familiarity, a story I was loving, fell into the same problem. The start of it was awesome and then about 90k words in, it got really random. Some time traveling whatever came up, and I was confused. I went to the forums and attempted to figure out what the hell he was doing. He then managed to write something to this degree, yeah Shinji is a god or something and a cult formed to attack him in the past with aliens from the moon! It was so god damn random and 'epic' that I lost my love for anything he writes.
     
  15. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

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    The story was updated two days ago. So it no longer can be called 'abandoned'.
     
  16. Zvohunter

    Zvohunter Second Year

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    It's back.
    Didn't have time to read it, though.
     
  17. Jibril

    Jibril Headmaster

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    HALLELUJAH! The Emperor protects! Now I’ll have to reread it all… again? Okay, one more fanfic on my kindle – the Pile of Shame rises :)
     
  18. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Wasn't this material posted on Spacebattles or something years ago?
     
  19. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    An updates an update.

    SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.

    Now I have to re-read this for sure.