Abandoned Terrible but Great by Dark Syaoran - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Dark Syaoran, Apr 4, 2006.

  1. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

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    Title: Terrible but Great
    Author: Dark Syaoran
    Rating: M
    Pairings: None
    Category: Action/Adventure/General
    Chapters: 5
    Words: 13,140
    Published: April 4, 2006
    Updated: April 28, 2006
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: AU. Part 1 of 3. Tom Riddle hates normalcy and strives for something special. A strange old man in an odd suit gives him that chance.

    Link: DLP.Net

    Link: PatronusCharm.Net


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 19, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 19, 2012
  2. DGD

    DGD Headmaster

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    Nice, hope to see the rest soon. :D
     
  3. Evil Shnitzel

    Evil Shnitzel High Inquisitor

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    It's too short to be judged but I like it.
    Work on your other stories please..... we are waiting.
     
  4. Dark Lord Rostam

    Dark Lord Rostam Button La Famiglia Midknight

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    It's good, I'll wait for the next parts to fully judge. It seems you keep putting off your other stories, I think the good people of DLP deserve an update.
     
  5. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    lol, Sya, nice. But you seemed like you were writing a lot more in the IRC room... :D
     
  6. Promios

    Promios Fourth Year

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    Great!
    Will it only contain Tom's rise of power? No Harry?
     
  7. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Love it, can't wait for the next part. Will the yoyo make a repeat appearance?
     
  8. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

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    This story is about Tom, not Harry. Harry will appear later in the sequal and the third story.

    Yes, the yo-yo will make another appearance.

    Chapter One has been posted.
     
  9. Aura

    Aura Seventh Year

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    Nice. I've never read a Tom-centric story before. I like the way this is going.
     
  10. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, if you really have the motivation to take it all the way through it will be really good. Liked the chapter - I think you've pinned down Tom's character just as I had imagined.

    One thing though - didn't Tom Riddle have blue eyes? Or is that just my imagination?
     
  11. Dubrichius

    Dubrichius Groundskeeper

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    Are you talking pre- or post-ressurection? If post, then they were blood red (damn GOF movie, ruining Voldie's appearance with non-red eyes). When Riddle was still a kid, I thought that they were green. Going to check now...

    Well, there is actually no definitive colour given for the young Tom Riddle, so I suppose that means that it's whatever colour you want him to have, at least until JK gives him one.
     
  12. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

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    All I could find about his eyes were that they were dark, so I just gave him another trait that matched him with Harry. They look alike so why not, eh?

    I'm hoping to keep going through with this. I keep getting more and more ideas for it, so hopefully it wont get too boring along the way.
     
  13. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    Interesting start. The sheer malevolence of this young Tom Riddle seems to almost support the idea that there's nothing inherently wrong or bad about Dark Arts. They're just the favorite tool of these bad apple kids.

    Most young Tom stories try to portray him as a wide-eyed innocent who gets picked on, violated, and essentially goes from good to bad. Of course the few I've read bits of were not Post-HBP. It's nice to see one where he's practically evil from the start.

    I think I'll like this a lot more than those drama/angst fest fics where they try to make you sympathize and empathize with poor little Tommy Riddle. I'd rather just see an angry, determined dangerous kid turn in the most feared Dark Lord, than watch a half-blood orphan getting mocked, beat up, ridiculed, and practically friendless. Manipulative, controlling, and malevolent at eleven. This is more like it. There's heroes, anti-heroes, and villains. Glad you're not going the blase anti-villain route.

    Any guesses on the length here? When I first saw that 1 of 3 I thought it was chapters but now I see that's stories.
     
  14. ChuckDaTruck

    ChuckDaTruck Overlord

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    Extraordinary! You sir, deserve, a PARADE!! Hooray!
     
  15. digitalstorm

    digitalstorm Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Very good start. Will part 1 be his Hogwarts years with part 2 being about the time he spent after Hogwarts, and with part 3 being when he started his campaign against the magical world?

    In any case this has the makings of a superb fic(s)
     
  16. Mrriddler

    Mrriddler High Inquisitor

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    A very refreshing take on our favorite baddie. It's also quite canonically accurate, which though I doubt any of us really care, doesn't hurt. It looks like you had done some very impressive thinking in it with the way there always seem to be a motive and explanation for every action Tom makes.

    The ambidextrous idea was I think very clever and something I was thinking of just days ago. It's one of those very basic concepts that could be enormously useful in battles but surprisingly few people really take up on it. Splendid work.
     
  17. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

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    Thank you people for the reviews.

    I'm not a fan of angsty Harry so I'm not even going to try it with Tom Riddle. I think it was a bit strange that Tom was always such an evil cunt but I can live with that. Him being abused gets old, even if I would have rather seen that in canon for his reason for being such an evil prick.

    There will be three stories. The first will probably be the longest, with all his Hogwarts days. It'll definitely have the most back story. The second will be just after he finishes at Hogwarts and goes to work with Borgin until he gets 'killed' against Harry. This will probably be mostly him traveling and near the end will have his first reign of terror. The third will be him without a body, the things that happen in canon with Qurriell, and him getting his body back in Harry's fourth year. It will also have his second reign of terror and his defeat of Harry, or his defeat at the hands of Harry. I'm leaving that open, I dont know who's going to win.

    Well, I hope that sounds good. I'm going to try my hardest to do this.

    Edit: Chapter Two has now been posted.
     
  18. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Another great chapter, keep 'em coming! Is the diary the same one that will become the horcrux? or just a random diary that he'll write notes in? Also, did the boy who cracked his skull die?
     
  19. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    Well, I'll be the first (and apparently the only one) to say that I don't like your characterization of Riddle.

    I understand that, taking in consideration HBP, your characterization is completely in canon. I also understand your reluctance to write much angst and mush and describe a little sniveling Tommy getting beaten over and over again.

    But the fact remains that having Riddle abused by muggles in some way is the only logical way to explain his hate for them. Rowling definitely screwed this part up, probably in her wish to clearly define good and bad guys (so that children wouldn't get confused), but that's not an excuse for a serious fanfic writer (like you are).

    Like this, Riddle seems simply born like a little evil sociopath. And while evil sociopaths can be fun from time to time, irredeemably and completely evil characters are not what I'm attracted to in fiction. They are OK in one shots or in parodies/humor/bash fics (your pyromaniac!Harry and Ginny kill-off thread are examples of this), but having a character like this as a main protagonist in what appears to be planned as a serious multi-part epic will get boring pretty soon IMO.

    Riddle's character put aside, I'll lay off my final opinion on this story until I see what you have planned as a plot in Hogwarts (and how you set other characters from that period). Many authors screw up their AU stories because they fail to think of any meaningful plot, on level with Rowling's plots from canon books. I hope you have some real plot ready, other than stupid prank wars and endless character interaction between 11 year olds... or at least, that you plan to fly over Riddle's Hogwarts years and describe only the most important events.

    So, I’ll keep watching this, as long as you keep writing :)
     
  20. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I disagree, I think Tom Riddle has plenty of motivation to be a nasty guy (I wouldn't call him evil just yet).
    Having no father figure will mean that he will lack discipline and having no parents at all will mean that he's never had any affection in his life. This may have caused him to close off and not wish to be with other people (as shown in the story).
    Due to a lack of affection, he also probably lacks a certain amount of empathy, therefore allowing him to perform bad deeds without making him feel remorse.
    I believe that Tom Riddle didn't turn "fully" evil until after he made his first horcrux, which he made not out of a lust for power, but out of fear of death. His lack of empathy was what allowed him to not mind usig such a violent way to make himself immortal.[/i]