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Abandoned The Apprentice by Deborah Peters - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Provis, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Updated. Mostly transitioning chapter, and a cliffhanger at the end. Thankfully it doesn't seem we'll be waiting much more than a month for the next chapter judging by the wait for this one.
     
  2. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Finally, it seems that conflict is entering the story. Though not much actually happens in this chapter plot wise, it sets the scene for a more independent Snape, as well as more Death Eater activity. Looks like the might be some interesting times ahead.
     
  3. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

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    It's good.

    I'm not normally a fan of Snape/Lily, mostly because they almost always end with James having a child called Harry Potter that Snape thinks is exactly the same as the Harry he knew- in the redo stories- minus Lily's eyes.

    I liked how Vernon was characterized.
     
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I also enjoyed the update. I'm glad to see that some form of conflict appears to be entering the story, and it's also nice to see that Lily's parents aren't being pictured as perfect.

    I liked the subtle concern for Severus that Jigger wouldn't admit to, and it's fun seeing Severus dealing with his feelings given his situation.

    And as someone else said, it's just an added bonus that the updates for this story seem to be reasonable!
     
  5. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Cause of explosion was sorta what I expected, though honestly kinda lame. Sorta filler chapter, honestly... though I guess the relatively consistent updates make up for it.
     
  6. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I liked the update, but I agree that it was a little too much filler. I like filler, but nothing seems to have progressed here at all save that Snape got his license. But that's alright, it was fun to read. Especially given that he's dealing with strange emotions again -- whether from Lily or from being given that watch, etc.

    I get that Cadogan doesn't want her husband to be at the mercy of wizards, but I'm a little surprised that given he had a broken bone that she didn't look for some way of finding a wizard friend to help fix it. I wonder if Muggles can use potions in this story?
     
  7. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Yes, filler chapter was especially annoying after the last chapter set up so well for at least a little action. Conflict needed here, because as much as I love the premise, the one thing the fic needs less of is 'Snape gets more much needed love', which is what this chapter basically came to.
     
  8. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I suppose that an update to this is a fitting present for my 1000th post, as well as my first donation to DLP.

    Mostly fluffy with (very) mild smut. We should be seeing future updates faster, according to ANs and LJ.
     
  9. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    And now I wonder if this curse can be easily undone by the caster or we will see Snape regret his decision later on.
     
  10. Plothole

    Plothole Fifth Year

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    If the curse can't be undone we may see Lily leaving Severus because she wants kids. I really don't think Severus thought it through very well. Without doubt this will have serious repercussions later in the story.
     
  11. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Repercussions certainly, but I can't decide what form I think they will take.

    Severus could come to just regret it. Honestly it seems a little OOC for him to jump into this so quickly. Obviously he wants to be very careful, but before taking such a drastic step I've had expected him to brew a crap-ton of that potion he was talking and practice the hell out of the charm, and then take precautions to make sure he always had access to both if he was going to be sleeping with Lily.

    As someone else said Lily might really want kids at some point and that might cause trouble, especially if she finds out what he did. Hell Snape didn't even think that maybe he could wait on kids until after the whole Voldemort thing blew over.

    I've seen some fanfiction include the idea that certain things must happen -- so if they go the route of needing Lily to have a child, and Severus can't, then she might get raped or something. But that seems too far-fetched for this author.

    Eh, it's just one chapter that I felt was off at least. Looking forward to more Jigger, Death Eaters, and whatnot next chapter.
     
  12. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure a prophecy doesn't devise the circumstances of its own happening.
     
  13. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Oh I agree -- but I've seen it time and time again in Fanfiction. Just because it's not a plot element I'm a fan of doesn't make it cease to exist. But like I said, I don't really see this author going that route.

    Edit: The only example I can think of now is in the Book of Albus or whatever. The sequel to that other story where Harry and co. went back in time. There were certain things that "had" to happen, even if you went back in time and changed them, prophecy or whatever wouldn't allow certain things to not occur. But I know I've read similar things in a lot of crappier stories too.

    Either way, Snape seems to have rushed into this a bit too much. Given that he has other birth control options and that he (probably) wouldn't need to worry about his child being part of a prophecy anyway if he waited to have one until Voldemort was dead. For this particular Snape it just seems OOC.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2011
  14. Pirazy

    Pirazy Groundskeeper

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    No need to bother with curses or potions, just.. adjust the aim a little..
     
  15. Knyght

    Knyght Alchemist

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    Hehe. Relevant.
     
  16. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Well now, this is interesting. It doesn't seem possible to subvert a prophecy already spoken. Of course, the prophecy in question hasn't been spoken yet, so it may be changed in some manner. I think that the attack on the club was rather conspicuous; I wonder if the author is going to try and apply that as a "thrice defied" point.

    I have to wonder if Snape's attempts to curse himself won't backfire in some way. There are legends about how ancient heroes, in an attempt to defy a prophecy, end up fulfilling it in horrible ways--Oedipus, I'm sure we're all aware, is a prime example in this. I wonder if Snape's alteration of the timeline, and interference in creating Harry Potter, won't force fate to step in and act to create him. I could easily see something along the lines of Lily getting raped and impregnated that way, to force the conception of this child. I'm very interested in what the author has planned in this regard.

    4.5/5, I never thought that I'd enjoy such a snape-centric fic this much.
     
  17. diesIovis

    diesIovis Seventh Year

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    I don't think there is a need for "fate" to create Harry Potter as he's not really mentioned in the prophecy as anyone who meets the criteria could be the BWL, so someone could just substitute for him. Also as I doubt Snape will tell Voldermort that there is a prophecy, I wonder what the consequences of that will be?
     
  18. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Updated. Quality, as always, is good. Some inevitable consequences fall out. Author said updates would be coming fast now, which is awesome.
     
  19. Plothole

    Plothole Fifth Year

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    Yeah. Didn't seem like much really happened. Still, good quality.
     
  20. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I enjoyed reading it but it seemed too short, really. Some correspondence and the bit with the fire seems more like half a chapter than a full one, but the quality was good. I'd love to see more updates soon.
     
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