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WIP The Difference One Can Make by joen1801 - M - HP/ASOIAF

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Blandge, Jul 16, 2015.

  1. Blandge

    Blandge First Year DLP Supporter

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    Title: The Difference One Can Make
    Author: joen1801
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: WIP, 127650 - Story updates regularly with 10 chapters since Mar 22
    Library Category: AU
    Pairings: Harry/Val
    Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry Potter decided to travel the world. Twelve years later when a new threat attempts to destroy the progress made in Britain he returns home to deal with the situation. During the fight that puts down the small group of upstarts Harry finds himself in a world of ice and fire
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11132113/1/The-Difference-One-Man-Can-Make

    Unique fic about Harry falling in with the wildlings and leading them to become civilized. The pre-GoT chapters are pretty lame, perhaps enough to dock it half a point, but after that it picks up rapidly. Harry lands in the GoT universe in AC 289, 9 years before the events of GoT season 1 and progresses quickly from there. I believe where it stands at chapter 10 the current year is AC 294. The pacing is quite nice, because the story skips a ton of boring years as Norfolk develop.

    Harry is a bit too powerful for my tastes, but it plays really well with his motives for the Norfolk, and the eventual odds he's up against - the White Walkers. I really like the development of his people as he takes them from disparate bands of hunter/gatherers to create a permanent settlement that eventually becomes the first thriving hub of knowledge and commerce in the north. It reminds me a lot of playing Stronghold or Civilization, except with Harry Potter and GoT.

    My summary doesn't have nearly enough details to really sell the story well, but I think it will stand for itself if given a couple chapters after Harry switches universes.

    I give it 4.5/5.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2015
  2. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    I was following this fic I finally lost interest in it though. Harry makes progress but the ASOIF world doesn't seem to be moving as fast. I'd give it a 3.0 for decent writing but not so great in moving the story along.
     
  3. syed

    syed Supermod

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    Eventually major changes will happen. it is just gtting started. The free folk are far more united than before and able to act insingle purpose. The dragon steel would give them a big advantage and a valuable commodity. The spreading of knowledge will ensure that progress will not be stifled. While a small population, a great deal know how to fight. So a powerful asset in the future.
    imagine what harry could do with that giant magic horn, i doubt it would knock down the wall but i bet it will be cool. it will be searched for to ensure the others cant get toit first
    He has to prepare for the enemy, while keeping his people strong and united. My idea was use their navy to mess with slavery a little. It gets them treasure, get their warrior tested and in shape, and any free slaves will boost their population. Pentos only has a 20 ship fleet and a city guard. Harry ships could take the navy, and his magic could seal the very powerful city walls so no one can escape. once they are done, why not sell it to king robert, he might be interested in gaining such a prize. it would allow him to reclaim Andalos, ancient homeland of the andals.

    There are a couple of ways i see harry brought into the series directly, stannis will contact him for his aid, or it will be the starks, likely to heal bran.
    I can see itr going very badly for the seven kingdoms if they attempt to expand beyond the wall. harry can always hit them directly where they live.

    harry needs to travel more to need to use his magics, say in the freehold or beyond.
     
  4. Drunken dark lord

    Drunken dark lord First Year

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    I really like it's uniqueness, Harry isn't the true son of Robert etc.
    His future relations with Westeros will be interesting, especially since the Norfolk will never kneel.

    I really liked the scene with the Karstark men, where Harry stated: 'we do not kneel'.


    4/5
     
  5. Hachi

    Hachi Death Eater

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    It's readable, but there are some cringeworthy moments.

    A guilty pleasure, as in it's an interesting story if you're looking for a Harry Potter fanfiction where he's -because of his magic- completely beyond everyone else in the ASOIAF setting.

    The final fight is shaping up to be Others vs Harry, and I doubt that the author can write this in an engaging manner, because well... an Incendio and they're done.

    Not to mention

    he has more or less united the Wildings, constructed the biggest -and probably only- fortress beyond the Wall, and has equipped his soldiers with 'modern' weapons, made with iron and steel. Oh and somehow he has managed to influence the free folk so that they don't do shit like stealing wives etc... anymore. He's basically the Messiah of ASOIAF.

    3/5
     
  6. syed

    syed Supermod

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    While harry and his people are powerful, they do have limited numbers, even if they full unite the people beyond the wall. I can see his formiing a network of fortified settlements, but eventually he will either be pushed back or simply trapped in them.
    Wit hte fact they produce so much food they can sell it, could they attract people to settle in their lands from the south? If they go on an anti slavery crusade, they could free tons of people and give them a new home. While harsh, harry settlements are adapted to fit, and there is alot of empty space. Harry could use his magic to make places unreachable or unihabitalbe suitable for future settlement.
    We know man and the children united to fight the others, so get them to teach their magics and see if thier power could be restored. So try to restore a weirwood to every godswood, and regrow the groves and hoolow hills that have been destroyed over the centuries.
    In his travel on earth, he studied druid and nature magic, so i wonder if he could draw power from such locvations like a volcano. I once had this idea that an under ground tunnel could be magicly made linking the stepstones and the continets together. A volcano is sure to have that power, and the children's tower was used to shatter the arm, so why not remake what remains into something useful. It would cause westeros and essos to come into conflict, but ti also would draw attention away from the north. It potentially mean money and power for the dorne. also, with the bridge, essos would need to deal with the others or forced to eventually deal with thmeselves.
    The green seer also warned harry about dragons, so would need to prepare for their return. SO he needs their dragon lore, so an adventure into the free hold, to salvage as much as possible. Dragon bones, artifacts and treasure. It could be enough to buy kingdoms if done right. If he gets a glass candle, could he use that to better locate valuable goodies? There might be who knows how many eggs lost in the freehold, so when the comet comes, they could be made to hatch. Harry made something similar to valyrian steel with out all the sacrifices, so could he mimic all their magics, but with out the need for sacrifices. Imagine a new dragon empire, but no slavery or mass sacrifices. It would expand from braavois to the other free cities, linking them by new dragon stone roads, the ancient kingdon of andalon and rhyone being rebuilt. Eventually, the dragon empire could be merged with a more stable iron throne. From the free cities, it will take command of slavers bay, and end slavery there once and for all. The horselords would finally face a foe they can not defeat.
     
  7. Knox

    Knox The Last Remnant DLP Supporter

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    It's a good guilty pleasure fic, not much more than that though. It's kind of like Wizard of Harrenhal in that, Harry is OP as fuck and nothing actually goes wrong for him. But, I still have it on my update list cause, I like to indulge in a little Good Guys always win, especially in the ASOIF fandom lol.

    3/5
     
  8. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

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    I want it on the record somewhere that we only keep syed around because it's fun to psychoanalyze his posts.
     
  9. syed

    syed Supermod

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    Thanks for being so nice, I am improving.

    Look at what he has done for the North, imagine if he helped to improve Dorne , uplifting certain settlements. It would put the vipers in a powerful position in the future. It is the smallest of the kingdoms, the opportunity to grow and develop would be a powerful incentive. I always imagine magic altering or changing the Stepstones, Dorne achieving influence or control over them would be very powerful asset. Harry could then use his ships to raid slavers and pirates that travel near them.
     
  10. Odran

    Odran Prisoner

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    I've read all 10 chapters and it was only by forcing myself to do so.

    It's not a good fic. It doesn't even have technically good writing for the setting. The tone of the story, the way the characters interact and speak to each other or the way they think... it's all wrong, or at the very least expressed rather poorly.

    Then there's author's compulsive need to put down exact specific numbers. Harry crafting a version of the MM, but this one tracking over 14 000 people? No... just no.

    Then there's Harry curbstomping everything, overcoming every obstacle with magic. Then there's conjuring various metals from thin air.

    Then there's being friends with Oberyn and his ilk. Never liked the Dornish, so that's just personal bias, but it was still fairly predictable to see happening in the fic.

    It's all so... dry. So neat and clean cut. It's boring.

    Oh and before I forget, the author decided on the pairing by reviewers/readers input or some kind of poll. Very off-putting as it gives off the vibe that he has no idea what he'll write next.

    2/5
     
  11. Steelbadger

    Steelbadger High Inquisitor

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    I was concerned about this when I saw the last chapter AN where they asked what story they should work on next when, to my mind, this story isn't even close to an end. Really I'd consider the whole Norfolk (Or arr, or arr) thing to be nothing more that a setup for the battle against the White Walkers. That suggested to me that the White Walkers might be overcome with the same ease that Harry beat everything else. Which would be boring.

    They assured me it was no-where near ending and that the White Walkers actually have an end-game for their invasion (rather than just being fantasy-nameless-horror #2318323). So we shall see.

    I've enjoyed it so far, though part of that might be my personal liking of Val in canon. At the moment it's a 3.5 from me with the possibility of climbing or falling depending on how the rest of the story plays out.
     
  12. syed

    syed Supermod

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    While harry can fight them individually, what will he do exactly when they the turn the North into a winter waste land? His settlements might be safe, but they could simply become trapped.
     
  13. Moeed

    Moeed Third Year

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    Can't wait to see how he deals with the white walkers since Harry's acquired so much dragon glass already.
     
  14. syed

    syed Supermod

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    While harry can burn the undead, there will be a lot of them. His men wil only be able to chop then burn. If he gets wild fire, that might be able to quickly destroy the Wights, especially if his blades can endure wild fire flames on them, could encores rate the substance in the forging of the metal. That way it can store and absorb the substance, then flame once lit. You likely need special scabbards to contain and extinguish such blades.

    Does harry know any necromancy? Say he gets a ton of dragon bones, could he animate them. He then sets it loose, and it eats others, wights and ice spiders. Dragons are a source of magic, so I wonder if it could be restored even partially, if it consumes enough magic and raw material. There might be plenty of undisturbed remains in the freehold, of truly gigantic dragons. Say the dragon does come to life, with the power of the others would it return as an ice dragon. It can only live in places like the land of always winter, or the icy depths of the oceans, or possibly only on the tops of the coldest mountains. I can see ice dragons only coming out of their homes during winter freely, the rest of the time restricted or slumbering.
     
  15. Trulle

    Trulle Second Year DLP Supporter

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    It's basically Harry goes to x, succeeds without any resistance, and then constructs feats of magic like he suffers no exhaustion whatsoever. Normally I refrain from downvoting stories, but this really wasn't up to our standard here.

    2/5, and that is being generous.
     
  16. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

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    I'm sorry, what? Since when magic causes exhaustion?


    Anyway, I'm not rating this story because it seems like something AleternateHistory.com would create. Basically a wank scenario.
     
  17. syed

    syed Supermod

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    Harry said he learned nature magic in his travels right. I wonder if he can work magic with a volcano, like at dragon stone. Stannis would be a good ally to cultivate, first healing his daughter, then making his holding far more habitable.

    If the green seer saw harry, i wonder how many of those that watch through flames and shadow would have seen him. He is a source of magic, as are his children. So great prize for all magic users desperate to regain the abilities of legend.
     
  18. Hugo

    Hugo Second Year

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    I'm just waiting for the author to introduce legions of Aurors and his own hit wizards in the universe. Then, Harry is going to discover leylines and his final fortress will be a reconstruction of Hogwarts just to he can feel right at home. Finally, he's going to resurrect the enemies of the Lannister family and end their line for good. He will tame dragons and take Daenerys for his second wife and renew the Targaryen line with Potter blood which just so happens to be descended from the Pendragon family so they're technically royalty already.

    If it wasn't clear enough, I think the author bogged the fic down with too many cliches of other world Harry! I can even tolerate a super!Harry but there's just too many cliches in there to make this a decent story. Nice concept but the execution needs some work.

    2/5.
     
  19. syed

    syed Supermod

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    To be fair even a poor wizard would be unmatched in this world.
     
  20. Rhaegar I

    Rhaegar I Unspeakable

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    So, it's just Harry Wanking his way around, virtually everything action he does succeeds incredibly well, all his "enemies" are either monsters that are quickly and utterly defeated or simply join his side as he becomes the Wildling's Prometheus/Messiah to a degree that Dany would find patronizing?

    Yeah, this looks kind of boring. 20 dragons says this Fic ends with Harry defeating the White Walkers in five seconds with the help of fiendfyre or some other bit of Magic Ex Machina.