Not a bad one-shot.

The only thing that feels wrong is Riddle's "Must kill blood-traitors!" thing. I mean, at this point he was still trying to play everyone's favorite perfect boy. Even if he had an irrational desire to kill all blood traitors (instead of rule over them), I simply don't see him going around like an automaton, casting dark arts; Dumbledore would have had him expelled a long time ago if he was that careless.

Oh, the mark: 4/5

 

a good one-shot. i really want to see this becoming a lenghty fic. Tom being the dominant part in the new character makes it even better. 4.5/5

 

That was really good. I think it should be continued, it seems as though it would be one of the better possession fics. Harry seemed genuinely confused and I'm curious as to see where Harry Tom Riddle Potter take himself in this AU.

 

Good, Syao. Hard to read in a good way. Hope to see more of it (ie: a chaptered story) from you soon.

Edit: You might consider revising the line about shutting his invisibility cloak Watch your pronouns.

 

Brilliant one-shot. One of my favourite i think, pity it wont turn into a full length fic but i can see why you wont do that. 5/5

 

very nice one-shot

 

I love how Harry/Tom acts, instead of a possession is it almost like they merge.

 

Very interesting idea; I enjoy how Harry is confused as to his age and what parts of his history are real, but in my opinion he recovered a bit too fast.

Being upset over the murder of his pet and murdering the blood traitors is a nice start, but you need to continue that confusion outside the Chamber. Having him do something simple, like getting halfway to the Slytherin dorms before realizing that his stuff was in Griffyndor, or having him glance at his picture album and look at his father and mother for the first time, would have made it much more potent. Right now it seems as though he is much more Tom than Harry as soon as he exits the chamber, and although you can argue that this is valid (16 years worth of memories versus 12), it shouldn't be quite that overly invasive without something else happening. Harry is just as persistant and headstrong as Voldemort is ruthless, so the two halves getting along with each other so quickly is a bit of a stretch.

Perhaps Harry uses Tom's feeble forays into occlumency to organize his mind and therefore gave dominate control to the part that tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Regardless, superb start. Keep up the good work!

5/5 so far.

 

Well written indeed, with the confusion of personality being done quite well. In some parts, however, the "but my name is Tom, isn't it?" was repetitive, but it added to the total impact well enough.

One thing: I thought Ron tossed Lockhart's wand out the window of the Defense classroom, which is why Lockhart had to steal Ron's to cast the spell?

4.5/5, I hope you turn this into a full fic. Could be extremely interesting to see Harry trying to fight the urge to join/support/even ressurect Voldemort, or you could go the complete other way and either have him do it willingly, or perhaps kill Voldemort to make Tom!Harry the new Dark Lord?

I wonder how Dumbledore will be dealt with, too.

To everyone else: See how the DLP Spell List can be 'kekeke-worthy'?

 

I thought it was alright. The only real problem I had with it is that someone else had the same idea awhile back, and his one shot went into far more detail then yours, so anytime I think of this idea I'll think of his one shot and not yours. 3/5, because someone had the same idea and did it better, IMO.

gaffa's fic, for anyone interested: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2717596/1/

 

Very good. I'd be interested in seeing a mult-chaptered fic come out of it. Looks like it could make for an interesting read.

 

4/5 for the excellent use of the DLP spell list.

5/5 if you write more.

 

please write more(5/5), what more can anyone say?