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Complete The Fall of the House of Potter by Bobmin - Mature

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by Padfoot85, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. Padfoot85

    Padfoot85 Sixth Year

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    Location:
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    Title: The Fall of the House of Potter
    Author: Bobmin
    Rating: M
    Genre: Drama/Romance
    DLP Category: Independent Harry
    Pairing: H/Daph
    Status: Complete
    Summary: AU from year five onwards. At the end of year six Harry finds himself once again isolated and prisoned at the Dursleys. The end of Book six never happened in this tale. Dumbledore has plans that include Harry, but not the way Harry thinks. An enemy revealed a truth with their dying breath and the chains are forever broken as memories are tarnished beyond redemption.

    Link: http://bobmin.fanficauthors.net/The_fall_of_the_House_of_Potter/The_fall_of_the_House_of_Potter/



    I've always been a fan of Bobmin's for many reasons. One interesting fact about this fic is it very easily could have been chaptered, but the authors decided to post it as one long epic chapter.

    Manipulative!Dumbledore with a few twists. H/Daph goodness. And Weasley and Granger bashing galore. All in all a good fic. I wouldn't call it epic but definitely library worthy.

    4.5/5 for me.
     
  2. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    No, this is definitely not library-worthy.

    Regarding the general plot, Bobmin's schtick is old and worn out. The key ploy point (the "twist," if you will, but that's being extremely generous) asks for a suspension of disbelief that is, as usual, rage-inducing to anyone used to reading decent fanfics.

    2/5 for being technically sound.
     
  3. enembee

    enembee The Nicromancer DLP Supporter

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    I'm fairly sure this has been posted before?
     
  4. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    I got excited that I saw a HP/DG story that I have not read yet (or even heard of). I had to take a few minutes out of my day to create an account at that site.

    So I did that, and got prepared for an epic journey.

    But I am still waiting for it.

    The beginning is terrible, to be honest. Wandless illusionary was mention in the first page, really? Dumbledore's manipulations pretty much come as a massive infodump the page after, and the fact that
    Harry's parents are alive
    are thrown right at him from the getgo is :confused:.

    The story just goes down the beat path of the cause/effect status quo; someone tells Harry that he has been manipulated (in this case, his arch enemy Voldemort, go figure), and then scenes play with
    Lily/james talking about manipulated!harry. Lily/james trust dumbledore more than they trust themselves. Dumbledore talking about manipulated!harry. and then we get to the mandatory will-reading blahblah, should have lived with blah.
    Harry just takes this all in stride, because he is super!harry on top of all that with the ability to kill any death eater with one spell, and voldemort with two. Doesn't even shed a tear, blow something up with accidental magic, or yell, because he is cool. Reads like a hundred other fics out there.

    I have not finished, but I have not solely just lost the will to continue, but the will to even live. I will continue reading, just to see if there is something I have not seen before. Maybe there will be something that won't bring shame to the indy!harry subgenre we all love and hate. The Daphne interactions better be top notch if anything could be salvaged from this.

    1.9/5. if this gets in the library, I will eat my own pants. This number could change when(if) I finish this, but I doubt it.

    -edit- I read about 10 minutes more, and am forced to drop this to a solid 1.5. Gringotts stuff is lolworthy, and you have to ask yourself if the author is trying to play a practical joke.
    naturally Harry becomes head of house Potter, even though his parents are alive (but dead in the eyes of the ministry, obvious machinations of Dumbledore, being the the third coming of Jesus, and Harry being the fouth coming). He also becomes head of house Black because Harry was adopted by Sirius and made his heir, even though Sirius never mentioned that to Harry, and somehow Sirius's will got read but the Potters didn't??? One would think Dumbledore would have manipulated that too...) Pretty much to be expected from this type of story. Also, Harry becomes a baron of some random plot of land I care nothing about, and discovers a Marriage Contract to none other than Daphne Greengrass.
    Fucking Fail!
    And lets not forget about the Goblins caring about anything Wizards do that doesn't involve their money. Why does gringotts even have their wills? I understand that that is a severely overdone indy!harry uber-cliche, but having a lawyer (as they are legal documents) have them, or even a department in the ministry, but anything but the goddamn goblins. Oh and Dobby made an appearance of course.

    I understand that all of this is fairly common indy!harry stories, but the way it is done here is hardly doing the genre any favors, and just makes me hate it that much more. Its bad enough that the majority of indy!harry stories are terrible, but when you pull down the HP/DG pairing with it, then you have done something unforgivable. The 1.5/5 is because Harry has not yet gotten a magical supertrunk. If (once) he gets that, then more points will be taken.









    Cliff Notes; "No, sir. Harry Orion Black, the adopted son of Sirius Orion Black, Eighth Earl of Blackmoor and the Head of the Black family.” Should explain what you can expect from this story. Everything else that this line can bring to this story in terms of indy!harry terribleness, it does.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2010
  5. Stalin's Pipe Organs

    Stalin's Pipe Organs Auror

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    667
    Yea Bobmin is well known for writing God!Harry, WeakFoolishMortal!Everyone else.

    I only read one of his stories but everything else of his looks like pretty much the same.
     
  6. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Meh, guilty pleasure fic.

    3/5 because I'm a sucker for Harry/Daphne stories with good grammar.
     
  7. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
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    362
    Let's see... We got Power Levels, Helpful Goblins, Lord Black!Harry, and Multicompartment Trunks (talked about but not seen).

    And...

    Gryffindorks and Dumbledorks and liddle lamzy divey
    A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?


    Geez... I need sleep. What the heck was I doing thinking of 'Mairzy Doats' when reading about Gryffindorks and Dumbledorks...

    However we also have decent grammar, Daphne Greengrass, somewhat original spellwork against Death Eaters/Voldemort, and hints of ménage à Neville that doesn't involve a second guy (Huzzah!).

    2.4 stars
     
  8. Verminard

    Verminard Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
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    280
    Yes. Harry is smart, superduper handsome, megarich. His friends are all beautiful, powerful, and loyal.

    Everyone else is a moron.

    A convicted, escaped mass murderer manages to adopt Harry and makes him 'head of house'. Just how did this stuff start? Lordships and shit. Just how many lords and ladies can the relatively tiny wizarding population have and why must The House of Potter have trillions of large gold coins and manors and all.

    So with all these traditions Harry is now Lord Black, because the escaped mass murdered somehow foudn the time to legally adopt someone who already had legal guardians. Now the 'noble house of Black', made up of rabid blood purists has a half blood in charge.

    I forget if this was one of the myriad in which Harry waves his hand and dissolves Narcissa's or Bella's marriages.
     
  9. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    I like BobMin, have for a long time. In the current sea of horseshit, slash, and convoluted over-used plot devices, this fic stands out. Not necessarily in a good way, but it does stand out. It's well-written, readable, and the story flows. When this is compared to a rather large majority of the fics that have recently been written, it's waaaay the hell up there on the list.

    3.5/5
     
  10. Antonimus

    Antonimus First Year

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    Yeah, its massively clichéd but it had good grammar and wasn't TOTALLY fail. But I liked the fact that Lily wasn't just a reluctant follower of the plan. She had helped (or believed she had helped) to make the plan. You don't see that a whole lot in fics. Usually, you only see that she had only gone along because she was outnumbered, but here she actively participated in it.

    That was the only part the really stood out as being slightly different.

    3.5/5 for an average story that's better grammar-wise than all the other shit.
     
  11. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    I just want to see one story where there's no 'Dumbledork,' 'Gryffindork,' 'Moldywart,' 'Death Munchers,' etc. This schtick is quite moldy and old.
     
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    I find it a little tiring how people are still exploiting the Harry/Daphne pairing. There are all of two good HPDG stories in existence, one being Vlad's very short anti-cliche fic, and the other being Intoxication by the author of Vultus Serpentis. Maybe NightFox's Cosa Nostra constitutes a third.

    It's even worse when readers like Kensington actually oblige them. An irredeemably bad story is seen as the shit it is. However, if Daphne is in it, it's automatically a 3/5. Disappoint.

    Another is grammar. It's a given that the grammar is solid. A story might be decent in spite of bad grammar, when the idea and execution compensates, but when good grammar is all there is?

    Onto the story.

    I think it's funny how there's this one guy in the fandom who devotes all his writing energies to being cliche, who refuses to live the tiniest spark of originality or creativity survive. This is fucking hardcore.

    At some point I would've been pissed off, but now it's all just hilarious. Everything, from the really stupid conversation with the imaginary muse at the top, to the completely self-serious writing:

    You have to realize that this guy has written this over and over and over and over again for years, without even improving his writing technique a tiny bit. It's proof that you can do something forever and not get any better. His grammar's mostly correct, sure, but so is my eleven year-old brother's. The mechanics, however, are dull and deplorable, mostly due to the 100% tell instead of show.

    It's a "non-style" if you will.

    He's still writing:

    for his story summaries in 2010, after starting to write in 2007 (or earlier, I don't know). It's great. It's a radiant vision of shit that's breathtaking, almost purifying in its innocence. It's almost uplifting to read archaic cliches like Dumbledore's bond with Fawkes weakening as he becomes manipulative!Dumbledore.

    Yes it was.

    Padfoot85, your recommendation warmed my heart. A very sincere 1/5. On some level, I respect Bobmin's dedication to writing cliches out of his ass-nozzle.

    If you enjoy good grammar so much, read a newspaper, fuckers.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2010
  13. Solfege

    Solfege Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure bobmin isn't a single author but a couple, male and female, writing together. For a short time during my incipience to the Harry Potter fandom years ago, bobmin was one of my favorite writers; I'd follow their works ravenously, and I'm pretty sure they mentioned at least once, maybe in an Author's Note, on fanficauthors that they were a couple.

    Of course I've long since recognized their works for the repetitive masturbatory fantasies that they are, and I won't bother to even touch their writing anymore, but somehow knowing that two people are writing this together makes their cliched work seem even shittier. You'd think two heads are better than one; what happened to the editorial process in the brainstorming department? Then again, being a couple might have taken the edge out of that.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2010
  14. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

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    What do you want for free.

    It is a pleasant little time waster.
     
  15. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

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    I liked the story myself, despite it having a lot of over used cliche's. I'd give this a 3/5 if nothing else than keeping me entertained from reading it.
     
  16. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Seriously? Bobmin?

    This it just yet another iteration of the same crap he's been writing for years. It would have been outdated had it been written 3 years ago, never mind today.

    The content is a regurgitation of every bad cliché of indy-Harry, and he actually manages to make them worse than they were before. Some authors manage to put a new twist on them, or at least write them extremely well. Bobmin does neither. I can pick out a paragraph of this story at random and can guarantee than I'll cringe when reading it. Absurdly bad manipulative Dumbledore (even if you must write a manipulative/evil Dumbledore, at least make his manipulations worthy of his intelligence and power, not able to be unravelled by a average teenager in a matter of weeks), 2D characterisation (of both Harry and his foils), unlikely fortuitous circumstances, and a world that doesn't make sense. So pretty much every bad indy-Harry ever written.

    Nor is there any great style to redeem the godawful substance. As has been said, Bobmin has been writing for years now and has shown absolutely no improvement over those years. It's actually quite impressive: it must take quite a bit of work to remain that impervious to concrit. You'd think that they'd improve just through the sheer quantity of crap they're producing.

    There is absolutely nothing redeemable about this fic.

    1/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2010
  17. ElDee

    ElDee Unspeakable

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    I was almost certain I'd read this story before. Turns out I have because it's the same story as damn near everything else they've ever written.

    I dunno, I was tempted to give it an extra point just because it does eventually end.

    1/5
     
  18. Muttering Condolences

    Muttering Condolences Card Captored and buttsecksed

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    I liked it when Hermione got canned from Hogwarts. That made me :D
     
  19. bornagainpenguin

    bornagainpenguin DLP Archivist

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    Hmmm...allow a crappy fic into the library or a chance to watch Lord Anarchy eat his own pants... Decisions...decisions...

    --bornagainpenguin
     
  20. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    This entire summary is hilarious.
     
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