WIP The Next Dimension Over by Yusagi - M - Naruto/Dragon Ball Z

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Nemrut, Feb 5, 2016.

  1. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Title: The Next Dimension OVer
    Author: Yusagi
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Naruto and Dragon Ball Z
    Summary: When Goku and Krillin are sent to find Roshi a 'Pichi Pichi girl', a woman falling through the sky interferes with the destiny that had previously been laid out for them. When Sakura's strength wavers at a critical moment, she falls through dimensions and the destiny she worked so hard for vanishes into dreams. AU: If Goku and Krillin brought Sakura Haruno home instead of Lunch
    Link: ff.net

    So, this is an interesting crossover, and really the first time I've seen this combination working. Despite being categorized as Dragon Ball Z, the story, so far, is firmly set in Dragon Ball. Story starts when Sakura, during the Kagura fight at the climax of the manga, through the dimensional shenanigans, ends up falling from the sky in Dragon Ball universe, just around the time where, as the summary says, Krillin and Goku are about to start their training with Muten Roshi.

    That's a pretty good point for a crossover. At this point, the Dragon Power power level bullshit is still within the norm, and even the cast is at the beginning of exploring what KI can do, flight, energy attacks and whatnot.

    In fact, Sakura is stronger than most at this point. What I like here, is that this has two big effects. It keeps Sakura relevant, by virtue of being the top dog in this world for the moment but we know that's most definitely not going to last, so, I'm curious as to how that will develop.

    It also has an impact on the development of canon characters. Interestingly, if anything, Son Goku is weaker atm, if only because Sakura was with him a lot and intervened a bit, changing his development, and whether that's a good thing or bad thing, we'll see.

    Yamcha, Krillin and Bulma were also influenced and so far a lot of butterflies are clapping their wings.

    Storywise, Sakura tries to find her way home, sticking with them by virtue of being the only being she knows until she finds something better. Until the chase for the Dragon Balls start and with it, the fight against the Red Ribbon Army.

    So, yeah. Good take on Sakura, liked the take on the DBZ characters and honestly, while I have been immersed in DBZ from time to time, if only through the abridged series, it has been over a decade since I last saw or read anything about base Dragon Ball, so, revisiting all these old adventures has been a blast for me.

    4/5
     
  2. Narf

    Narf Administrator Admin DLP Supporter

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    It's pretty good for a crossover. I do have a few qualms, though.

    The author has kept Krillin's personality and character constant (I'm on chapter 50) even though in canon, he changed from being a selfish prick to being a nice, if a little weak willed, guy who cared for his friends. In this, he's barely changed from the greedy guy he was originally, and his dislike of Sakura even after living with her for a year, is more than a little annoying. He's still greedy, still out for mostly himself, and doesn't seem to really have that great of a relationship with Goku. He has one, of course, but the author doesn't really seem too good at writing dialogue or expressing emotions between characters.

    The author is more focused on introspection, whether it be Krillin's thoughts or Sakura's. Even Yamcha's at one point. Interestingly enough, I don't think we've seen a scene from Goku's perspective yet, though I might be wrong and just can't remember one. It's also irritating whenever the perspective changes and it's not immediately obvious whose perspective it is, and it happens almost all the time. Maybe the author thinks it's a nice small twist to add, but it's more pedantic than anything.

    And I don't really enjoy the Dragonball hunting or following the canon plotline with Sakura onlythere to voice what she thinks about the situation and barely changing the outcome at all. I understand that there really isn't much in way of enemies other than the RR army, but the story would have been much more interesting if it were at the point of the second tournament with Tien and King Piccolo.

    It's at a point in Dragonball where the story is more about comedy than martial arts, so I don't really think it's conducive for a crossover. Shit only starts getting serious when King Piccolo enters the stage. The other characters would also be up to her level, instead of her being miles above them in skill and strength. The one person on the planet who could challenge her at this point would probably be Kami, so the only way this story will ever progress is if she meets him.

    The prose is a little too angsty, Sakura a little bit too paranoid, but all in all it's not bad. I might be a bit generous, but 4/5 for me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2016